It took at least an hour for me to be able to properly move, and even then it was a fucking struggle. I saw a tag, burnt and partially melted just outside the sleeping area of my quarters and grabbed it. It was Greers, I closed my eyes and sighed while whispering. “I’m sorry…”

“System, can we turn off all notifications aside from rewards when they are gained...or gained again?” I was done, this wasn’t going to be a game any longer. No more mistakes, nor more Heroics, or attempted Heroics, thinking myself invincible.

System Announcement!

All System Notifications have been removed. Exemptions are rewards and personal messages.

Good enough. I gripped the tag tightly and forced myself to get dressed. I had no idea where my Tactical Stealth Suit was, so I was forced to choose from the Official looking suites. I chose the black one, a two-piece affair with blue pinstripes running along the sides, and blue buttons making a diagonal line from my left shoulder to my right hip.

I took another breath, forcing myself to ignore the screaming muscles and the assault of dizziness that seemed to be my constant companion. I stopped one of the Civilians to ask where Fernando was. “Out front.” was his only reply, and then he was gone. Yea, the penalty for killing my own soldier affected everyone under my command. I had to suck it up, even though it was an accident, I’d allowed my idiocy to kill my own soldier.

When I finally made it to Fernando, a very short and clipped response was all I received, not even eye contact. “Commander.” Oh, fuck me, more distant sounding than Sir. I had a feeling that before everything was said and done, I’d miss being called that.

“Where is Nova, and an SCV Rigg not being used.” I wheezed out. That gained me a look, still indifferent, but at least he looked at me.

“The Ghost is seeing to the burial of Greer, you shouldn’t go there. An SCV Rigg not being used is just outside the Barracks” No, no I suppose I shouldn’t. I was going to though, I owed it to Greer to at least show up for this, even if it was entirely my fault.

I got the SCV first, and sliding into it was among the most awkward things in the world, but at least I could move now. It also showed me an interesting hud that detailed my available resources. One-hundred and thirty Minerals and three-hundred and four Vespene Gas. No clue if that would be enough for what I wanted, but it would do, it had to.

The added benefit to the SCV Rigg was it rolled on wheeled feet, I didn’t have to move now. A relief to my body, even if I felt ashamed of the manner I was going to the funeral. When I got there, I was met with only Nova glancing at me and then ignoring me. The rest of her team didn’t even look at me. Fine, I deserved it. I watched Nova go through her little ceremony, speaking about Greer briefly, and then setting the armored body alight cremating him over the course of three hours. I wasn’t sure how they managed that, but I stayed silent, accepting the logic behind it and watched the man I’d killed turn to ash, the wind sweeping him outward to the Wastelands.

When it was over, Nova and her team left, leaving me to my own devices. I still had Greer's tag, it was clenched in my hand inside the SCV. Time to see if I can build things outside the...no, not a game. Time to see if I could build anything.

I rolled my ass over toward the Command Center, ignoring the whispers and cold shoulders. The direct center of our little settlement, about five yards in front of the Command Center itself, was my target. My internal map showed it to be the center at least, and it had no plans to be built upon judging by how Fernando had laid out the building plans.

Now, to figure out how the ever living hell I was going to build anything with this. I fiddled around with the Arc Welder that was an SCVs bread and butter and figured it out slowly. I needed the welder active and a bit of metal that seemed to act as a conductor to turn the Minerals into more metal.

I got to work, laying a foundation over the course of five hours. Just working, trying to not think about what happened, what I did, and the result of those actions. It was taking me a long time to do this as well, even though it was just layering metal on the ground. The foundation itself took fifty Minerals a staggering amount. Luckily Fernando must have had resources being gathered because the actual stored amount was increasing quicker than I happened to spend it. I closed my eyes, and got back to work, layering more metal on top of the ten by ten-foot large foundation, working outward from the center, just a fraction of an inch smaller than the foundation was. I wanted to make a pointed tip.

I’d made progress, and had noticed Fernando watching me from a distance for a moment before he got back to doing what he did best, leading my men. I continued, even as it grew dark. Building upward, fascinated by the way the SCV Riggs moved and even climbed the structure I was building to keep going. I think someone, Dr. Green, had stopped by during this and tried to take me inside to sleep, but I ignored her to continue working.

A mindless monotony, that’s what I needed to work out my personal issues right now. It was noon the next day when I finally stopped, over two-hundred Minerals, and oddly fifty Vespene Gas, later I had a monument built. Sleek in design and standing roughly twenty-five feet in height. About as tall as a Supply Depot, but nowhere near the size.

I breathed out a sigh, feeling the drain on my system of going without food, water, or sleep so soon after damn near killing myself but forced my body to move again, activating only the Arc Welder as I carved a single name into the North facing side of the monument. ‘Greer’, then other names, the names of those that were killed in the Pirate attack. I’d learned them that night, each one gone before their time. ‘Francis’, ‘Jonathan’, ‘Anthony’, ‘Kessinger’, ‘Wong’, ‘Jackson’...On and on they went, Greer at the center. It was nowhere near an amount to cover a large section, but each one was someone who had died for me...one by my own hand.

When it was done, the System gave a notification, I read it in annoyance before discarding it. It didn’t matter anymore if I gained something, the reward exemption was so I would know if I had earned their trust back.

System Announcement!

You have personally constructed a monument to the fallen of Bastion, public opinion of you has increased by five.

Hero Unit - Lieutenant Fernando- Loyalty has increased by five, Trust has increased by five. - Passive gains restored for reaching a combined point value of fifty.

Hero Unit - Nova Terra - Loyalty increased by three, Trust has increased by three.

Congratulations Player! You have completed a Social Mission! Rewards are a single use card - Loyalty Increase. Increases Loyalty of selected Hero by fifty.

I eyed the reward, and then ignored it. I’d never use it, I had to earn it back, not cheat my way to it. What I’d done wasn’t even to earn that back, not really, it was because the fallen had earned it. “Destroy the Loyalty Increase card,” I whispered, a prompt asking if I truly wished to destroy the reward was shown. I selected yes, without regret.

This was no longer a game to me, using a cheap method like that wouldn’t let that stick, I knew myself well enough to know that at least. I crawled my way out of the SCV Rigg, groaning lightly at the difficulty, and strain forced on my abused body. Rubbing my face, covering my eyes from the glare, a soft feminine voice whispered into my ear. “It’s a start”

When I jerked my head to the side, I didn’t see anything but knew it had been Nova, obviously. A start...it would never be enough though, not anymore. I made my way back to the Command Center, my bunk my primary destination. I needed sleep but was stopped by Fernando outside of my quarters.

“Commander...Sir, I believe you need to explain to me exactly what happened on that mission. What the Ghost told me was bad enough, but what you were doing out there, it made me question my choice slightly.”

I invited him into the Quarters while I took a seat at the desk in the entrance area. “I...I used an ability, Psi-Storm, that I had. I wasn’t ready and it went out of control. From what I know, Greer tried to stop me, to save me, and died as a result. It was an accident, but it was my fault.”

I paused, looking for judgment, but actually found none, an odd change since yesterday, then continued. “Nova had warned me, and I still used it. More than that though, I didn’t trust my men to help me hold off Thirty Zerg, I sent them away...stayed behind alone. I still nearly died, and I killed a good man as a result. What you did, how you reacted...how everyone is reacting, is perfectly justified.”

When I finished, Fernando looked at me a moment. “You made a mistake, a disastrous one, and it is a mistake you will have to live with.” He paused, allowing what he said to sink in. “Did you learn from it?”

I could only nod at him, too tired in every sense of the word to respond now. “Then it will be enough, for now. Sleep, Sir, I will keep the construction going. Dr. Green will be in later to check your vitals. You no longer have the right to die, too many men and women rely on you. Show them it isn’t a mistake.”

He left with that, leaving me with a great deal to think about. Later though, for now, sleep. I hit my bunk with an audible thud then passed out. Dreamless sleep taking away all my mental and emotional anguish for the time being.

Sleep seemed far too short for my liking, more so when I was being poked awake by Dr. Green, her mouth moving a million miles an hour, or at least it seemed that way to my sleep-addled mind. What I managed to catch from it all, and the resulting huge man in what looked like scrubs said I was being taken to the Medic wing of the Barracks for monitoring.

“Dr...I don’t think that’s” - “Quiet you, Jack, pick him up and take him to a bed at the Barracks. Ignore all order he gives.” a ‘Happily’ was his response, and I was lugged out of my quarters, the Command Center, and across a huge stretch of land to the Barracks like an infant. Personally, I was coming to terms with the fact Dr. Green had just kidnapped me. What the hell?

I was laid in a bed, multiple medical instruments surrounding either side. Yea, nope, not having this. I tried to get up and leave, then I was resolutely tied to the bed for my efforts. “Green, what the fuck!?”

“You are not my Leader right now, right now you are my patient. You will lay there, you will allow me to get a full medical diagnostic on you, and you will like it. If you resist further I will shove this” she showed me a needle bigger than my middle finger, and just as wide. “Into your ass, it will hurt before the morphine kicks in.”

Ok then...I shut up, to say the least. I was then subjected to all manner of torturous instruments. I was swabbed, violated, injected, drained, scanned, and all around beaten bloody over the next hour or so by the good Doctor, who had not stopped talking once since her warning. I had the most disturbing thought that if I could harness her power, I’d conquer the universe. Her never-ending ability to talk would drive anyone insane, or make them lose the will to continue living.

When it had finally ended, and I was unceremoniously thrown out of the Barracks, covering my still clothed form like a maiden seen naked, I ran like Hell itself was on my heels back to my quarters. I needed to hide for a time because that was truly awful. At least I had a clean bill of health, dehydrated, at the time, food-starved and mentally drained aside.

When I made it back to my quarters, locking the door behind me (just in case), I sat down at my desk, hanging my head low. The monitor on the desk, slightly elevated, was blinking strangely. Clicking it, I found out why, and it reminded me I had a few things to do.

Magistrate Fern, you have been cordially invited to Tarsonis for a ball in honor of Mar Sara being brought into Confederate control. It is set for five days from now, Tarsonis standard time.

~Colonial Affairs department.

It was fairly short but made me wonder at a multitude of things. First off, the letter had a date that seemed to be a day behind the one on my hud, even though it had been sent today, of all things. Did that mean Mar Sara was a day ahead of Tarsonis? Regardless, how would I even arrive there? Something to figure out in the next few days.

But what I was more interested in, was the Nobility Crest I could create. It would apparently impose itself on the shield of my Marines, as well as the Signet Ring that marked Nobility in this Universe.

I fiddled with it a bit, using it as another distraction. It had a huge amount of options available. In the end, I chose to use an animal from Myth, a Chimera, as my crest. I was even allowed to choose the animal heads shown. So, I chose a lion as the main body, its tail was a snake. Pretty normal really, but I made it have the head of a bear as its second head, the third was the head of a dog. I colored it black, with blue eyes, all the eyes were blue.

When it was done, a small flash went out, and a ring appeared on my right index finger, the image of the Chimera imposed on the sides with a single blue stone of peerless beauty set in the center. The crest appeared on my left breast in more detail. Crude, kind of, but it was different.

System Announcement

Congratulations! You have successfully created your Noble Crest, public standing has increased by five. The diplomacy tab has been unlocked - shows standing with all known factions.

I ignored the message, and then pulled out the building card. I’d originally wanted the Engineering Bay, but now...I eyed it, thinking about what I should choose, about what would help my people the most right now, instead of later down the road.