《Emperor of Blue Flower Mountain》Volume 1: Chapter 18: Regret
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Mei Hua then began teaching Jin how to read and write. As she predicted, he had problems sitting still. He also found many of the grammar and spelling rules annoying, thinking that his way of doing things would be better.
She got into quite a few ridiculous arguments with him about that. Ye would take those opportunities to mock him, using Mei Hua as his cover. When Ye sneeringly told Jin that he couldn’t read the scrolls if continued insisting on his own way, Jin finally submitted to the teaching.
Once he stopped fighting with the rules of language, things went more smoothly. He still fidgeted and wiggled in his seat, but he no longer grumbled and complained.
Watching him learn a mostly intellectual skill really cemented Mei Hua’s belief that Jin might be a genius. It took him just under two months to learn reading and writing. And his only failure was his inelegant writing, which was simply because Jin believed that as long as it was legible no improvement was needed. (So his handwriting looked a bit like someone was trying to murder the brush while using it.)
In that time, his vocabulary improved by leaps and bounds as well. He went from sounding like a small child to sounding almost like a Scholar. Almost. He never quite got there, since his simple crude personality shone through, even while using the new, fancy words.
At first, Mei Hua picked scrolls for him to read as a teaching tool, the same ones “Teacher Ye” had used. Mostly they were simple fables Xuiying had collected that were easy to read. But later, Mei Hua picked more academic scrolls that dealt with human behavior and morality. Jin found the fables interesting, particularly those with an all-animal cast, but struggled to concentrate on the human-focused literature.
Even so, he would occasionally run across information on humans that he found helpful. When this happened, he’d nod seriously with a profound expression on his face and say, “Ah, so that’s what it was all about” before continuing his reading.
After it was clear he could read things without any help, Mei Hua left Jin to go through the scrolls at his leisure. Which he did. He spent a great deal of time simply reading the scrolls, his expression shifting all over the place depending on his feelings on the topic.
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Jin’s favorite subjects had to do with wildlife, so he focused heavily there. He seemed particularly interested in anything related to deer, sometimes spending hours going through scroll after scroll on the subject.
Mei Hua was actually really relieved by his intense interest in reading, as it freed her up to do other things. She’d fled the western town prior to winter setting in, and over the last few months had to struggle against the weather for food and resources. Asking Jin to help was useless, as he was clumsy enough to cause more problems than solve them, so she did the bulk of the work.
The timing for leaving civilization hadn’t been great, but she didn’t regret it. Now spring was well on it’s way and getting into the hot days of summer. She’d been collecting any and everything she could and stuffing it in the magical containers within the house for later use.
She’d added quite a few creature comforts to her daily routine because of her time living among humans. She liked her soft skin and the smell of her hair, so she worked hard to find alternatives for soaps and shampoos in the forest. And now that she had a better idea of how to mix food, her cooking had expanded to allow for more variety.
One day she and Ye were checking her fish traps in the nearby river when the entire earth started shaking beneath her feet. It was so unexpected that Mei Hua actually stood there stupidly for a moment wondering what was going on.
Ye, however, instantly understood: “Earth quake! MeiMei get away from the water!”
“Wh—what?” But even as she asked the question she was hastily scooting away as he instructed.
Just as she did there was a crashing sound and a huge boulder passed them. Mei Hua sweat bullets at how closely she’d come to being squished.
As they were retreating, trying to find a place where boulders wouldn’t drop on their heads, Mei Hua remembered something important.
“Oh no, Ye, what about Jin!?” He’d been in the house reading. And the house happened to be in the rock of the mountains.
What if there’d been a collapse or an avalanche?
“Ah! THAT GUY!” Ye slapped his forehead, hopped around on the ground, looking strangely furious instead of worried. “Stay behind me MeiMei till we get to the path, I’ll get us there safely!”
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Ye charged ahead, fast despite his small size. Mei Hua right behind him.
The path was rather picky and didn’t always show up where you expected it to, even when you were thinking about it. The path took an unusually long time after the earthquake to show up. It’s magic apparently disturbed by the earthquake too.
When it finally did appear, Ye shouted in relief, “Finally!”
Once they were on it, Ye hopped onto Mei Hua’s shoulder, holding onto her hair. She concentrated her qi into her legs, giving her an unnatural burst of speed.
When they arrived at the Traveler’s Cave entrance, Mei Hua actually collapsed on her knees. She was so relieved! It looked perfectly normal. There was no damage at all on the outside.
Ye didn’t stop but rushed in. After taking a few shaky breaths, Mei Hua followed too.
Upon entering, she heard a muffled sobbing. Fearful, she picked up her speed.
Jin was slumped on the low lying table, an unrolled scroll in front of him, half of it on the floor. He was weeping and his whole body was shaking.
“Jin, Jin! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” When she got there, she lifted his body and started checking for any injuries. When she found none she felt confused.
Putting her hand to his tear-soaked face to force him to look into her eyes, she saw his expression was one of agony. She asked worriedly, “Jin, calm down. Everything is fine. The earthquake is over. I’m here, Jin. It’ll be alright. I’m here.”
When Jin heard this, his blue-gold eyes widened and then he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing tight. His sobs didn’t stop, but he also wouldn’t tell her what was upsetting him. Not knowing what else to do, she stroked his hair and back, whispering comforting words.
Ye had arrived earlier but apparently ignored Jin’s extreme reaction entirely, choosing to focus on the scroll.
The part Jin had been reading said this:
“—I think my Brother hates me. He hasn’t visited me in years. Not even when I walk among my trees. I don’t know what to do. I can not reconcile with someone who won’t even talk to me.
When I think that we might continue on like this forever, my whole being aches with sorrow. There are only the two of us. If we don’t have each other, what do we have? It’s miserable that I can’t talk to him anymore, share in the big and little things. I don’t want this. I don’t—”
After reading a bit of it, Ye sighed and shook his head. He then neatly rolled the scroll back up. With strength vastly disproportionate to his size, he picked the scroll up and threw it straight into the dark ceiling. Rather than falling back down, it seemed to have vanished.
“What did it say?” Mei Hua asked, only noticing what Ye was doing when he tossed the scroll up.
Ye grimaced and then shrugged.
Mei Hua understood. Forbidden knowledge. Likely a diary from Empress Xuiying.
She stiffened.
Then why was Jin reading it? How did he even find it?? Mei Hua looked at the shaking form in her arms. What made him so special he could read that which the Emperor had censored?
“..orry..”
“What’d you say?” Mei Hua leaned in to hear Jin’s mumbling.
“…sorry… I’m sorry…”
“Sorry? For what?”
“..can’t… take it back…. can’t undo... can’t find them...” His words were choked out by his crying and she could barely make sense of it.
“Who can’t you find?”
Jin shook his head, his tears soaking into her shirt.
“Jin, you need to calm down. Tell me what’s going on.” She paused. “Sometimes it feels better when you talk about a problem instead of keeping it inside.”
Mei Hua could feel Jin inhale deeply, giving a large shudder, and then calming down. When he looked at her, his face was a mess. Swollen red eyes, snot running every where, his hair stuck to his teary cheeks.
Even after so much improvement, he still cried openly, like a child.
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