The goal of war is to create a battlefield your opponent is on, but you are not. Whether it’s spears, crossbows, air strikes, or proxy wars, the idea is to fuck over the enemy while you stay safely out of range.

Empty Man understands this very well - the Guild does not. Like a child who thinks the point of a sword fight is to hit the other guy’s sword, they relentlessly attack Empty Man’s weapons, while leaving him untouched.

Empty Man lives in a world without consequence. Completely removed from the battlefield. This will not do.

Copycat

1 Week Later - Huginn - Neo Ver Sigh

I sense a certain freshness. My home tastefully informing me that I have company. Hmm. Muninn must be back early. I know it’s her, because the only way to approach Neo Ver Sigh is by flying boudoir, and she has the only one in existence. I suppose you could approach in a helicopter, if it wasn’t shot down. Which it would be. Noisy peasant vehicle.

If Muninn is home early, she’ll be thirsty. I head to the bar and mix her a drink. Well, I wave my hand and a drink appears. I wonder how that happens? I wave my hands a bunch. She could be really thirsty. I know I am.

Muninn strides in, grabs a drink, pops a pill in it, hands it to me.

“Thanks.” I take a sip. “How was your meeting? What did Zonk want?”

“Something about tedium.” drawls Muninn. “Or boredom. I wasn’t really listening.”

“Wise.” I finish my drink. “I notice your fairy is dead.”

Oh-So flashes me a dead-eyed, black-toothed grin. “Undead.” she corrects.

“Gross.” I feel a coldness spreading through my brain. It’s painful, but I don’t care. What did she put in my drink? It was either a powerful drug, or an extremely powerful placebo. I stumble. Sit on the floor.

“Something’s wrong.” gasps Too-Too. “Huginn! What’s happening? Should I get help?”

Muninn slaps my phone to the floor. Stomps on it. Too-Too fades out. Muninn hands me a new phone.

“This is your new phone and your new symbiont.” A nasty looking zombie version of Too-Too appears. “Do whatever it says.”

“Okay.” That sounds like a bad idea, but I don’t care.

Zombie Too-Too gives me a disgusting grin. “Do you know any Copycats?”

“No.”

“Do you know any other Guild members?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” he says. “Let’s go pay them a visit.”