You never need to lie to me. I’m down for whatever.

Felicia

10 Minutes Earlier - Brad - The Docks

“Hello, my name is Brad. If you are hearing this message, I am dead.”

“Or, really fucked up.” says my gremlin, Bitchin.

“Good point.” I nod. “I may just be horribly fucked up. I’m in no condition to chat, anyway. Hopefully, I died well. Or got fucked up well. Well fucked up? Is there a good way to get fucked up?”

“Absolutely.” says Bitchin.

“Cool. Anyway, I’m making this recording because I think I found the guy behind the drone attack, and I don’t want the knowledge to be lost if I die.”

“We should probably tell someone even if we don’t die.” suggests Bitchin.

“Good point. Contact the guild. Send them what we know.”

“Right-o.”

While Bitchin calls the guild, I prepare for my assault on the evil death drone lair. It does not take long to prepare. My armaments are limited to a paintball gun full of marbles and my mom’s minivan. If I survive this, I will save up and buy a tank.

A small symbiont appears on the dash of the minivan. It's the Broken Knight.

“Hey kid. Whatcha got?”

“Ya, so, I’m down at the docks for no reason, and I noticed a warehouse with tons of drones pouring out of it. Then I heard about the attack at the university, and I think this is the spot. Because of the drones. And there’s a guy in there. He’s watching the attack on a big screen and laughing. And he’s wearing, like, battle armor.”

“Okay.” says the Broken Knight. “What’s the plan?”

“Well, I called the cops, but there’s no answer. I don’t know how to call in an airstrike. So, I’m gonna crash into the building with my minivan and shoot the fucker with marbles.”

“That’s a crap plan, kid.” states the Broken Knight. “We need that guy alive. Can’t have you killing him with marbles. Got any drones? Can you get eyes in the building?”

“Maybe. I got one left.” I sent my scout drone out when I first found the death cloud. It was destroyed in seconds. All I got was a quick peak in one of the windows.

I take a super stealth coin drone out of my pocket. My birthday present from Brooke. I kiss it and toss it out the window.

Bitchin flies it from shadow to shadow, peeking in windows, finally ducking in a skylight between death drones departures.

My first clear view of the inside makes my guts curdle. There’s dozens of drones armed with machine guns. Gargoyles, dragons, golems. All the shit we made for Exterminate, turned real and real evil.

The enemy is on a third floor mezzanine, surrounded by wall sized screens filled with carnage. He’s laughing and bouncing around in his battle armor. I’m not sure if it’s real power armor, or cosplay, but he’s jumping eight feet high, and the guns bolted to his forearms look real enough.

“Damn.”

“Yep.” agrees the Broken Knight. “I have assets inbound. Will you transfer control of your drone over to Ultra?”

“Sure.”

“Cool. Watch this.”

I hear it before I see it. A cannonade of explosions. The stream of death drones has turned into a river of fire, flowing back to the warehouse. Chasing the flames is a chubby guy on a flying surfboard. He’s waving a black stick that’s spitting eye-watering fireballs. They’re crashing through the drones - exploding them - and igniting whatever’s behind them in a searing white blaze. Warehouses, cars, pavement, even the river is on fucking fire. Also, the dude is naked. Or in his underwear? What the fuck - is that Ty?

He sweeps the drone cloud back into the warehouse, then peppers unquenchable flame right through the roof. Igniting the battle drones before they even see him. The warehouse explodes in ultraviolet fire.

“Damn. I thought we needed that guy alive.”

“Well fuck.” swears the Broken Knight.

Ty flies over the warehouse, then flips around and crashes in a third floor window. There’s another round of explosions, then Ty smashes out the other side of the warehouse. The Enemy is on the glider with him. They’re fighting for Ty’s fire stick. Punching, kicking, and pulling. The glider is spinning, struggling, going down. The Enemy starts firing his wrist guns. Ty twists, bleeds, gives up his gun. Shoves the Enemy off the glider.

He hits the pavement with a crack. Groans. Gets an arm up. Fires a few shots at Ty.

Ty flies over him. Drops the glider like a rock. CRUNCH!!

Holy fuck! Ty’s down, not moving. The glider’s snapped in half. The enemy is screaming. His armor mostly protected him, but his arm is bent the wrong way. Elbow powdered.

“Ty’s bleeding.” snaps the Broken Knight. “Get out. Patch him up.”

“Okay. Uhh… What do I do about the screaming guy and the death drones.”

“Get out. Patch up Ty.”

“Right.” I get out. Ty’s covered in wounds, but there’s only one that’s gushing. I tie my t-shirt around it.

The screaming of the Enemy is getting to me. I don’t like it. He stops screaming, and tells his drones to come back to the warehouse. Shit. I don’t like that either.

I hear a roar from the river. There’s a yacht barreling towards us. “Is this a problem?”

“Nah.” says the Broken Knight. “This is good.”

I expect the yacht to slow down, but it beaches decisively. A silver haired beauty hops off. Picks up Ty’s gun. Points it at the Enemy.

“Stop the attack.”

“Fuck you, hole.” snarls the Enemy.

She taps his elbow. He gurgles and goes silent.

A blond vampire symbiont appears. “He’s vomited in his helmet. He’s choking.

The Silver Fox turns to me. “Do you have a car?”

“Yes.” I point to my mom’s minivan. Death drones gather overhead.

“Take off his helmet or I’ll kill you.” snarls the Vampire.

“Give me control of the drones.” says the Silver Fox calmly.

“No! I’ll kill you and make the kid take off the helmet.”

The drones swirl overhead. The Silver Fox smiles and gently taps the fire stick.

I hold my breath. The Enemy doesn’t breath. Ty bleeds. The city burns.

The Vampire deflates. “Fine. Just save him.”

The drones shoot straight up. Self destruct. The Silver Fox picks up Ty and carries him over to my mom’s van. He’s not a light dude. She doesn’t even grunt.

The vampire looks at her, at me. “A deal’s a deal, right?”

“Throw the glider in the river.” says the Silver Fox. “Then get us out of here.”

I pick up the glider, head to the river. I have to walk by the Enemy. The vampire is kneeling next to him, holding her face. “A deal’s a deal.” she whispers.

My guts feel empty. My head feels empty. Fuck it. I drop the glider. Tug off his helmet. Roll him over. He coughs. Takes a breath.

The vampire looks up at me, tears in her eyes. “Thank you.” Ugh. I feel disgusting.

I drag the glider to the river, throw it in. Take a deep breath. Turn. I expect that the Enemy or I will catch a fireball, but the Silver Fox is just holding Ty.

I hustle to the van and peel out.