“Hey, Nell, can you help me with something?” Fenrir asked, standing inside of Nell’s new office at Nameless’s center where she had to go through a stack of papers—all featuring various requests—from the townspeople. Though, she looked far less enthusiastic about the job than he thought she would look. “Wait, is everything alright?”

Nell sighed and hung her head low. “My hero, I… do not wish to judge, for I know that everybody has their interests, but… there is an anonymous individual here who continues petitioning for us to build a sexual theme park. Every day, a new request is put in for one with more detail than the last. Today’s addition to their increasingly elaborate fantasy is an invention of theirs that they have named, ‘The Penis Swing.’ Here, the final paragraph. Read it.” She held the request form out to Fenrir.

Upon taking it, he saw that the entire page was filled up with text that could only be summed up as the ramblings of a mad pervert, but he focused on the last paragraph like Nell said and read it out loud. “Okay. Get this. I thought of the best ride yet. It’ll be hot and scary at the same time. So like, you know those giant swings they have where you strap into a seat and then you fly around in a circle high above the ground and go sideways? Imagine one of those, but with penis seats. The only thing keeping you on the seat is sitting on the penis. It doesn’t matter what hole you put it in, but you have to stay mounted on the penis if you don’t want to fall off. I guess you could add some safety bars for safety if you want to, since people might slip off and die a lot without them, but the bars could also be shaped like dicks so that you’re riding a dick and holding onto dicks at the same time. Also have you considered my idea about replacing the fountain in the middle of town with a cum fountain? I really think it would make everybody happier if we replaced the water with cum. Everybody loves cum and we could even take a public dip in it whenever we—I can’t,” Fenrir said, breaking. “I—you get requests from this person every day?”

“Yes,” Nell said with a sigh. “Part of me believes that it is an elaborate attempt at ‘trolling’ me. But if it is, I have no idea who may be behind it.”

“Well, whoever it is, they’ve got a sexual imagination on par with your own.”

“Apparently. Then there is this.” Nell held a different form for him to look at.

Once more reading out loud, Fenrir started from the top of the newest form. “I am hereby demanding for permission that we be allowed to walk around with our avatars naked. As a proud nudist in real life who has lived free without clothing for the past forty-nine years, it is my right to walk around with the prison of fabric constraining me. No real children are playing this game in the first place, and it does not matter if NPC children see the natural body. Furthermore, I would like us to have a town meeting on whether or not we should… switch to… veganism. Even if this… is in a game… the act of consuming living creatures… is a heinous offense… no,” Fenrir stopped before proceeding to rip the form up. “I can respect somebody wanting to be a perverted nudist, even if I don’t want to allow them to walk around naked here, but I can’t respect somebody for wanting to make others switch to veganism inside of a video game.”

“If only I were so bold as to rip apart every foolish request I receive. However, not all of them are bad. There is also this.”

Fenrir took the final offering of a request from Nell and read aloud once again. “We should organize some sort of festival that really shows off our culture over here. There are a lot of different players and a few different surrounding groups, so I believe we could create a pretty unique festival if we put our minds to it. It would increase the unity we all feel and also give the roleplayers something to look forward to. The NPCs might like it as well.” Fenrir nodded. “Huh. Alright. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Maybe get some of that alcohol from GG’s place and invite Fraydranth over for it, too. Name it… the Dragon Wine festival or something.”

“Oh! I like that! Wonderful idea, my hero! Though, I would like to involve the other groups as well so that it may be a festival that truly represents all of us.”

“Yeah, of course. Maybe you should announce that we’re going to throw a festival which truly shows us off, and that you’re accepting ideas? Let the others know about it, too. Could be a huge meetup for the entire region.”

Nell happily nodded along… but then stopped and sighed.

“What’s wrong now?” Fenrir asked.

“I… I can already imagine the request from a certain individual wanting to sexualize the festival,” Nell answered.

“Yeah, that’s probably going to happen.”

Following another sigh, Nell forced her mind to change topics and looked up at Fenrir to ask, “So, my beloved hero, what is it that you wanted my help with?”

“Oh, right. Uh, first, where are the maids at? I expected them to be here with you.”

“Ah… they were… not in a very good mood. I could tell that something was wrong, but they did not wish to speak of it, so I allowed them to take the day off and they returned to reality.”

Fenrir couldn’t help but to cringe when he heard that, and it was the kind of cringe that told Nell that he knew something.

“My hero… pray tell me what exactly it is that could cause such a face.”

“We-well… you see… uh…”

And so, Fenrir told her everything. He told her about Rao’s density, told her about how Rao basically rejected them earlier in the day, and told him about the plan he and Corwin came up with to fix the situation.

Now, while Fenrir might have tried to end the explanation on the good note of having a plan to resolve it… Nell was anything but pleased as she gripped her table with enough force to break through it, crushing the wood she held between her hands.

“You—you look really hot right now,” Fenrir said. He would have commented on how angry she looked, but he didn’t need to. He knew full well just how utterly enraged she was given that, as her champion, he was still able to feel her own emotions… especially when they were so overwhelmingly violent.

Nell could only stare down at the rest of the desk as her hands trembled. “I have question that man’s presence ever since we first encountered him, and now he has caused my dearest friends and maids such heartbreak…” She took a deep breath, relaxed her hands, and looked up at Fenrir with the sweetest, most gentle smile that he ever saw from her. “My hero, may I please murder him?”

“I—I would rather you no—”

“I will do anything you want. No matter what it may be, you will have full, unlimited access to my body for the rest of our lives. No matter how selfish your desires, even if you never make me finish again, I will gladly do everything in my power to pleasure you until our death. I will even wear nothing but sweaters, both in-game and out of it, from now on.”

Fenrir had to wipe an arm across his forehead to deal with all the sweat running down it after hearing that deal. “I—I… wait.”

“Is there something else you would like to request, my hero? After all, you may request anything of me.”

“This—this isn’t a good deal! You would already do anything for me! You would even already wear nothing but sweaters as long as I got you enough to switch between in the first place!”

Nell clicked her tongue and looked away. “Curse my eager desire to please you.” She then looked at him again and almost looked as if she was going to cry. “My hero! You should have seen how sad they looked! They were lethargic and barely even moving! They even missed a spot while dusting! They never miss a spot when cleaning! That dense fool of a boy has broken their hearts! I don’t understand why they couldn’t have fallen in love with you instead to join our relationship! There is nothing to even see in him! He… he…” Yet another sigh left Nell’s lips. “He truly has changed since we first met, hasn’t he?”

“He has. And he honestly wants to do his best by them. It’s just… he’s kind of a slow. Slow, but lovably slow, and he genuinely wants to make them happy. He’s just been so afraid of messing things up that it made him too passive and miss the obvious. I know that sometimes… it might not be that obvious, but he’s always analyzing and thinking about everything. Probably too much for his own good at times.”

“No wonder they are so obsessed with him.”

“Hm?”

“He’s like a puppy, that man. A puppy who has good intent, but is too naïve and inexperienced to know any better. He is innocent, needs trained, and needs pampered, and he also has what I assume to be unwavering, unconditional love for them. He is… their exact type. Back when I lived with them still, we would often go to the city and go on walks together—them pushing me, of course. Every single time we came across a puppy, without fail, they would beg for my permission to go and pamper it until the owner had to make up an excuse to leave. I believe, that when they look at Rao, they see a giant puppy.”

“You know, Rao would look pretty cute with floppy puppy ears.”

Nell raised a curious eyebrow at Fenrir. “What’s this, my hero? Will I finally get to see you with another man?”

“Don’t count on it,” Fenrir answered. “I can think a guy is objectively cute without being attracted to him. Like Olly. Spencer is hot in real life, and Olly is adorably lewd in-game. I don’t have any sexual attraction to him in either case, but he would be my first pick to fuck if I rolled that way.”

“My hero, if you truly wish for me to forgive Rao for his transgressions and to make me feel better… would you please answer some questions for me?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“Wonderful. I will write myself an erotic fantasy featuring you, Olly, and Rao with empty spaces spread throughout it. It will be your duty to fill in the blanks with the names of who is doing what. For example, I may write, ‘Blank space gripped the back of blank space’s hair as he thrust himself inside of the inviting passage. Meanwhile, blank space gripped his throbbing tool and smacked it against blank face’s face before whispering into his ear to lick it.’ I will have… hmm. If I work on it once we are done resolving this drama, I should be able to have approximately twenty thousand words ready for you tonight.”

Fenrir stared straight into Nell’s eyes for a few seconds while wearing a blank expression before saying, “Alright.” That was all there really was to say in the first place.

“Wonderful, thank you, my dearest, most wonderful, handsome, incredible, perfect hero! Now then, where would you like to have this event at?”

“I was thinking out at the cabin. That way there’s plenty of privacy and nobody else will be watching in case things potentially get awkward. Plus Corwin said he’ll make tea for everybody and do his best to prep Rao while waiting for us.”

“I see. Very well then. Would you like to head back first? I will go give them a call and tell them that I need them here for something important. I suppose I should also try talking to them to tell them about just how… dense, Rao can be.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you over there then.” With that, Fenrir turned to leave, but he felt a hand grab onto his arm before he could actually do so. When he turned around to look, he saw Nell leaning over the desk with her hand grabbing onto him.

“Where do you think you are going?” Nell asked.

“To exactly where we just said I was going.”

“Yes, but before you have kissed me. Do not tell me that your mind is even slower than Rao’s to have the foolish belief that you may leave my presence without a parting kiss.”

“Have I ever mentioned how much I love you?” Fenrir asked as he leaned toward her and brought his lips to her own.

“Not nearly enough,” Nell replied once their kiss was over, kissing him again immediately after.

“Then I’ll tell you that I love you for every single time that Rao missed an opportunity to tell the maids that he loves him.”

“I suppose it will be an all-night affair then! Not that I would mind in the slightest.”

With his arm let go of, Fenrir started to leave again and said, “I’ll see you in a bit, and I’ll make good on that later. Also… it really was hot when you were that angry. It makes me want to see you that angry more often, but I wouldn’t want to make you angry enough to get you like that.”

“A-ah… I… did not wish to ever show you such a side of me, but… if you truly wish to see me like that again, I could easily work myself up for you.”

“How would you even do that?”

“Well, I would have to think of something that makes me angry. However, I am assuming that you would like to partake in perverse activities while I am in that state of mind, so I would have to think of something that enrages and arouses me at the same time. Hmm. My apologies, my hero, but it may be impossible. Even imagining you, Rao, and Olly savagely mating with one another without letting me watch is not enough, and I do not believe I can think of anything that would make me both full of hate and lust at the same time.”

“What about just hate? Is there anything you can think of that pisses you off that much?”

“Oh, of course. Capitalism, for example. The more I think of it, the more furious I grow. Works every time.”

“Anything less political?”

“There is… one thing, but it is something I struggle to even bring up to you given how extreme it can make me.”

“I’ve got to admit, I’m curious.”

Nell took a long, deep breath before saying, “People who believe that a sandwich made with melted cheese, and then some other form of filling, is a grilled cheese. For example, if somebody makes a ‘grilled cheese’ with ham inside of it. Or bacon. That is not a grilled cheese. That is a melt. It is a very clear distinction that anybody with even a single working cell in their brain should be able to understand, and yet so many absolute fools make the mistake of calling a melt a grilled cheese every single day. Truly, all faith I had in the in telligence of mankind was eradicated upon realizing that there are those who call melts grilled cheeses.”

“Oh, so I guess I shouldn’t ask you if you want some grilled cheeses with ham for dinner then.”

The way that Nell narrowed her eyes at Fenrir sent a shiver up his spine and encouraged him to head for the exit, leave, and close the door behind him without saying a single other word.

“I have no idea when I turned into this much of a masochist, but that was way hotter than it should have been,” Fenrir said before heading back toward the cabin.