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The audience claps as excitedly as ever.

“And now for our returning hosts, Rock and Oleander!” the announcer declares as stage lights shine down on the trap of a deer and the rock of a dog.

“Welcome back to another episode of The True Talk Show! I bet you’ve all missed this, right? Right? Of course you did! There’s no way that somebody wouldn’t want more of us, right, Rock?” Oleander asks, holding Rock in his arms.

Rock stares directly into the camera for a few seconds, her expression unchanging and body unmoving, and then barks!

“See? Rock agrees! Now, we’ve got a show packed full of guests this time, so let’s hurry up and get on with it! Our first guess is…. Fenny! I’m sure you’ve all had enough of him already, so we’ll let him come on first to get him out of the way with.”

Fenrir walks out onto the stage and is immediately booed. His smiling and waving to the crowd stops when he sees just how displeased they are with him. “What’s – what’s wrong?” Fenrir asks Oleander as he sits down on the couch for guests.

“Uhh, it probably has something to do with the fact that you’ve got three girlfriends now and it’s looking like you’re about to get a fourth! They’re also all super cute, so what do you expect? Most people watching this are guys who wish they could date as many cuties as you! Wait, do we even have any ladies in the audience?” Oleander asks, looking out into the audience.

Neither of them sees a single girl anywhere in the crowd.

“Well, that’s what happens when you’re part of a story where a single guy is hooking up with a bunch of cute girls! Besides, it’s probably a good thing there’s no girls here. She’d probably just fall in love with you for no reason, and then you’d get stabbed on your way out of here!”

“I – I guess so,” Fenrir responds.

“Now then, let’s get onto the first question! Which of the girls is your favorite?” Oleander asks.

Fenrir has a bad feeling about this question. His girlfriends may not be nearby right now, but he can still feel their eyes on him and their ears listening closely for his answer. “Uhh… they’re all great! I don’t have a favorite.”

“You know how this works, Fenny. You have to answer the question or else your girlfriends become the main characters of a netorare doujin!”

“What – what kind of punishment is that?!”

“The one that’ll make you answer the question!”

“Alright, alright! I… Serra has my favorite hips and the cutest laugh, Cassiel has the best chest and her submissive switch is great, and Nell has the cutest outfits and best fantasies – and the best thighs.”

“Good enough! Don’t worry, Fenny. We wanted to have a netorare doujin punishment for you, but we couldn’t find any ugly old bastards that were interested. They all wanted Tabitha since she’s the loli, but she was so not having any of that. Oh, and your girlfriends all threatened to kill me and the rest of the studio’s staff!”

Rock barks.

“However,” Oleander continues, “I’m not sure how your girlfriends felt about that answer of yours!”

The screen above the stage turns on and shows his three lovers sitting on a couch next to each other. Serra is the only one with smiling, and she has one heck of a smug smile. Cassiel is crossing her arms over her chest with a red face and looking like she’s about to erupt out of embarrassment and rage, and then Nell is holding her dress down over her thighs and looking up at the camera with one mean pout.

“Can I go now?” Fenrir asks, standing up from the couch.

“You can!” Oleander answers and hits the button on the pedestal next to him.

Fenrir falls straight down through the hole opened in the floor by Oleander. His non-cut-in-half ear almost gets caught in the trapdoor when it closes.

“Onto our next guests – the girls up on the screen, Fenrir’s harem!” Oleander announcers.

The crowd goes wild with cheering as the girls come out on stage. Almost every man in the audience is wearing a shirt with one of the girls’ faces on it. Serra has the most fans in the audience followed closely by Cassiel, and while Nell may not have nearly as many fans as either of them, she does have some support.

They sit down next to each other on the couch with their eyes watching the suspicious flooring.

“So, how’s it feel being part of the harem, Nell?” Oleander asks her.

“It’s great! Though, I would not quite consider it a harem so much as just a polyamorous relationship, you know?” Nell answers.

“Hey, you can’t say ‘you know!’ That’s reserved for a certain sheep from another story.”

“Ah! Right, I’m sorry! Umm, but yes, it is very nice. I get to have a boyfriend as well as two girlfriends! While being physically affectionate to Fenrir may still be a challenge at times, I have no issue showing my affection toward the girls!” Nell hugs Serra and presses the sides of their faces together to demonstrate her point, and then she pokes Cassiel’s chest to really settle it.

“Wh-where do you think you’re touching?!” Cassiel shouts. “If I don’t let the dog bastard touch me whenever he wants then that doesn’t mean you can!”

“But Cass Cass, we all know you like when Fenny touches you and acts all dominant and stuff. You start acting submissive and melt in his fingers whenever he’s rough with you!” Oleander calls her out as the screen shows several examples of that exact situation happening.

Rock barks at Cassiel.

“Sh-shut up! I like what I like, okay?! First that bastard comes on here talking about my chest, now you’re on here trying to embarrass me!” Cassiel shouts and pouts.

“Speaking of embarrassing, Nell, you sure are sensitive about your thighs! Even though you’re not in your real body right now, they’re still pretty thick and soft looking, aren’t they?” Oleander asks her.

Nell turns red from her face to her horns as she tries covering up her thighs as much as she can. “It – it is not my fault that I can’t move my legs! They don’t get as much exercise as they should, so they end up getting all soft and fl—” she lowers her head, “…flabby.”

“It’s alright, Nell! I’m sure Fenny is going to want to do all sorts of lewd stuff to your thighs no matter what they’re like as long as they’re soft!”

Nell raises her head just a bit as fantasies generate within her mind.

“Now, Serra! You… well, there isn’t much that I can say that would get to you, is there?” Oleander asks.

Serra shrugs and shakes her head.

“But! I know what will embarrass you.”

She tilts her head to the side.

A cameraman walks up in front of her and points the camera directly in her face to show up on the big screen and to everybody watching from home.

“How’s it feel knowing that our entire audience can see nothing but your face right now?” Oleander asks, a sadistic and smug smile contrasting against his feminine features.

Serra takes off her hat and covers her face with it.

“That’s all for the harem members!”

“Hey, you deer bastard! I’m not done with yo—” Cassiel starts shouting, but that’s when the floor opens up in front of them and then a spring underneath the couch pushes it forward to toss them all down the hole!

“We’ll see you after the commercial!” Oleander announces.

Rock waves her paws in the air.

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“We’re back, and our next guest is already with us!” Oleander points at Ull whom is making sure to go nowhere near the floorboards that everybody else has already fallen through.

“Hello,” Ull says.

“So, Ull, let’s get right into it! Lots of people hated you, you know?”

“Trust me, I am aware. I had people leaving comments telling me that they wanted to see me drown at the bottom of the ocean, telling me that they want the wolf to kill me and skin me to use my precious deer hide as a cloak, and there is far more but I have done my best to block them from my memory.”

“You were kind’ve asking for it with the whole, you know, slave harem and being a dick thing.”

“But I’m just acting!”

“Just acting doesn’t excuse you to do whatever you want! Gosh, somebody wasn’t spanked enough as a child.”

“I prefer to do the spanking instead of getting spanked, thank you very much.”

“Are you sure about that?” Oleander asks, that sadistic grin on his face once more as Liz shows up on the stage’s screen. “You see, I heard quite a few scandalous secrets about your sex life from your main squeeze there.”

Ull looks straight on at Oleander with the most serious stare that he has ever given anybody before. “How much do you want?” he asks.

“We’ll discuss that later! Anyways, some of the audience is curious. Why are all of your harem members monster girls? You briefly alluded to it, but we want the whole story!”

Ull clears his throat and proudly explains. “You see, when I was a teenager, I came across a website that was dedicated to explicit images of not-quite-human girls. My fascination with ‘monster girls’ grew from there, and from that point onward, I have never held any interest in a human girl. Liz is the only exception when we are together in reality, but I always have her cosplay whenever we are doing the deed.”

“So, you don’t like your girlfriend for who she is and can only have sex with her if she’s pretending to be something she isn’t? Wow, you really are an asshole, Ull! No wonder nobody likes you.”

“That’s not – that is not what I was trying to say! I – I… IloveherverymuchandamgreatlyarousedbyherbodybutsheenjoysdressingupformesoIneverturnherdown,” Ull mumbles quickly and quietly.

“Whatever you say, teach!”

“Teach?”

“Well, we’re both deer to some degree! I could call you senpai but I’m not as much of a degenerate as Fenny is. Not in that sense, at least.”

“I see—” the floor opens up beneath Ull and closes right after he drops through.

“Next! We were supposed to have Bone come on, but due to contractual issues, he’s not legally allowed to make an appearance! Which means we’ve come to our final guest, Tabitha!”

Tabitha walks up to the stage, looks down at the floorboards, and then walks away.

“Wa-wait! Tabs! You’re supposed to be the final guest!” Oleander shouts and starts to chase after her but stops when her hammer comes flying his way. “Alright! Well, I guess that’s all for today! Until next time, everybody! This has been Oleander and Rock with The True Talk Show!”

“It isn’t nice to forget the most important guest!” a mysterious voice calls out.

Oleander and Rock look around to see who it is, but the floor beneath them opens up to swallow them whole.

A single girl walks out onto the stage with a button in her hand and a wide smile on her face.

“It’s me! Aiko! How rude of them to forget about me, right? I went through all the trouble of making sure that none of those pirates would be able to come on here so that there would be time for me, but they didn’t even invite me! So rude,” Aiko explains.

A single man wearing a shirt with Aiko’s face on it rises from the crowd to cheer for her.

Aiko shows her appreciation, or lack of it, to the man by cringing from disgust. “Gross. You’re not my Ryouta, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t delude yourself into thinking there is any connection between us. Speaking of my Ryouta, those other girls… aren’t they totally cute? Ryouta deserves anybody in the world he wants! He’s so perfect, and dreamy, and cute, and hot, and handsome, and perfect, and I love him, and he’s amazing, and I love him, IlovehimIlovehimIlovehimIlovehimIlovehim– I love him, he’s just so perfect, and he’s so much better than all of you pathetic scum jealous of him.”

Her expression slowly twists from one that is smiling and happy just from thinking about Ryouta to one of dark disgust as she looks over the crowd. “He’s the only one deserving of any love. The rest of you insects may as well—” her voice starts getting beeped over. She glares up at the camera. “Who told you to censor me? Now, where was I…”

The credits start rolling.

“Wait! I’m not done yet! I haven’t told everybody about how great my Ryouta is, and these insects still need to be punished for even looking at me and the others!”

The screen goes black and apologizes for technical difficulties before reminding everybody to tune in for the next episode.