How I Met Your Monster #29

Gabrielle

Profile:

Gabrielle, 19

Satyr

Likes: Woodwinds, play fights

Dislikes: Buildings

Bio:

Hey looking for some fun. Too many people on this app take themselves waaay too seriously. We're young. Let's have fun.

AD

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The last time I had been out to the woods Gabrielle wanted to meet me wasn't that long ago, but brought up some fun yet frightening memories. I walked past the remains of an old cottage and sat on a nearby stump. I had brought a book along and was reading it when I heard the hollow sound of a wooden pipe being played. The tune was jaunty, and approaching me. Not too long after, I could see a figure coming through the trees.

She had cloven feet hidden underneath layers of sandy brown fur. She had tanned skin, with her upper torso covered in a bikini top made of leaves. She had a small bag around her shoulder, and was holding the wooden pipe to her mouth, her head bobbing her horns back and forth. She looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes and she finished out the tune and bowed as I applauded her.

"That was a great song. I don't think I've heard it before."

"That's good," Gabrielle said. "I did make it up myself, after all. Still working on the lyrics though."

"I suppose it would be hard to play and sing at the same time, wouldn't it?"

"Ah, but that's what magic is for." She snapped her fingers and the pipe began playing the tune again. She smirked at the look of amazement on my face, then snapped again, stopping the music. "You know, that cottage used to house a pretty evil woman. You're a bit bold to be sitting near its ruins."

"I actually, um, I'm the one that killed her."

She got close to me and looked me over. I could see a hint of blue in the reflection of her eyes.

"Holy crap, you're an adventurer. How long? What level?"

"Not too long. Level one. Just recently actually."

She huffed, "A level one? How did you beat the witch at a level one?"

"Well, technically I beat her at a level zero. But it was definitely all luck."

"It would have to be. Well, I'm an adventurer myself. A level two bard. Not much in the way of offensive magic, but I was training up to get rid of the old woman. Glad you got to her. I was starting to stagnate."

"That's awesome! But wait, I'm here to interview you about the app. What you use it for. How it's been for you. The possibility of humans joining. All of that."

"Oh, that's all easy. It's been great! I've met tons of people and slept with almost all of them. It's been working wonders for me. Get a bit annoyed at those who get all huffy about a casual lifestyle. But I'm a satyr AND a bard. It's in my nature to have some fun, you know?"

"That's fair, that's fair. And what about humans?"

"I've had myself a fair share of human lovers. They aren't the best, but they make up for it in excitement. Can't say I'm too against them joining. Speaking of, do you want to, you know? Not too many people wandering through these woods. It'll be private."

The potion stirred up in me and my heart started pounding. My mind wanted me to take the offer immediately, but I fought it.

"No thanks, actually. I'm kind of going through some stuff. I've got what I need for the actual interview questions. Now it's just about getting to know you. In a regular way, not a sexual one."

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"How long have you been an adventurer?"

"Oh, about a year now. I was trying to get quests regularly, but half the time Shasta was passed out at the bar. The last one I got was to hide the animals. I managed to keep them hidden and silent, but the witch always managed to grab one. I wasn't able to level up keeping them hidden, so if she would have found me, I'd be a goner. Thank the woods for your luck."

"My thoughts exactly. If it wasn't for a little deus ex machina, I would have died moments later. So, you don't have offensive spells yet, but bards are support right?"

"Yeah! I can make your attacks strike truer. I can boost your speed and defense. And I've got a healing spell pocketed away if I need it. Looking for a support class? Or was the adventuring things just a one off?"

I sat with that question for a moment. Deep down I wanted to be an adventurer. Since I started this blog, lots of things have been happening to me, and a lot of them seemed to be leading me down this path. Gabrielle actually asking me the question finally gave me a reason to decide once and for all.

"You know. Yeah. I'm a fighter type. At least, so far. Technically I'm a level one journalist, but I think that's the system being snarky."

"Definitely sounds like it. So you want to team up and do all of this the right way?"

"Absolutely! But, I mean. I have to still do the blog. I mean, it's the whole premise of the story and I signed a contract with Unhinged. I mean, an app created by magic creatures. You don't really want to mess with them you know?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I get that. Don't want to bite the hand that feeds you and all of that. Well, you have my contact info. Any time you want to get a mission together, we'll join up a party and go talk to Shasta. Good to have you on the team, Silas."

"You too, Gabrielle."

"Please, Gabi is fine."

And that, dear readers, is how I got my first party member as an adventurer. I know that's not what this blog is about, but I did promise that it would allow us better insights on Unhinged user's lives. And if adventuring can do anything, it's give us the inside scoop on various creatures and monsters in the world. A fighter(?) and a bard may not be the most effective team, but we'll figure out a good system and get this party properly started.

I wonder if I should invite Vexys.

Nah. It's not really her scene. But hey, I won't let this blog slack off from it's intended purpose. I have a contract to fulfil and take my job very seriously. Just have to balance it all out and ignore a lot of the other stuff. LIke laundry and crushes that won't pan out because I'm just a human incapable of protecting myself. Unless there's a quest. I mean, maybe? Until next time.

-Silas D.