How I Met Your Monster #16

Astrid

Profile:

Astrid, 25

Zombie

Likes: Flesh, long walks, distracting noises

Dislikes: Dirt

Bio:

My name is Astrid, and when I'm not shambling around trying to find a meal, I enjoy deep conversations and the occasional relaxing sleep in a hammock. I know zombies get a bad name around here, but we're not that bad. So, if you're interested, then give me a chance?

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Dear readers, first I must tell you something in regards to Astrid. She and I used to date. It ended amicably, and as much as we remain friendly to one another, we hadn't talked in a while.

There came a point at the beach where I began to wonder why zombies are so frightening. I often had this thought when waiting on Astrid. As I watched Astrid very slowly make her way over to me, I realized I was being rude and decided to meet her halfway. Walking as a zombie was clearly already slow going, and the sand wasn't helping matters much. I was wearing a t-shirt and swim trunks just in case I felt like going for a dip later.

Astrid was taller than I expected. Around five foot nine and all partially rotting legs, with matted black hair reaching the stop her shoulders. She had cuts and bruises all over her that never healed, but it didn't stop the smile she gave in greeting to me. She pulled a beach towel from under her arm and spread it out on the grass. She laid in a blood stained bikini and took in the sun.

She sighed contentedly, "I love sunbathing. If it wasn't for basic needs, I would never get up."

"I can't blame you," I laughed. "There's just something about being able to relax and enjoy it. It is its own form of meditation."

She nodded in agreement and propped herself up on her elbows. "So, how have the interviews been going? I've been meaning to keep up on the blog, but I have a bad habit of forgetting."

"That's fine. It's been going well. Between Unhinged wanting me to put out entries as fast as possible, monsters wanting to be interviewed, and ad revenue, it's become a heck of a draw."

"Right, but how have you been enjoying it? Meet anyone?"

My thoughts immediately turned to Vexys, then Daywen and Samara. "I've met some folks I would be interested in seeing a few more times."

She looked at me in shock, "Color me surprised. I'm used to you keeping quiet and under the radar. What changed?"

"Do you know Drakar?"

"The sorcerer? Yeah, he helps me regrow my flesh every now and again. He give you some sort of potion? You know you have to be careful about that."

"Astrid, you know you don't have to worry about me. We broke up a long time ago."

"I know," she sighed. "You're still my friend though. And I worry about you. I was hoping you'd find your confidence on your own. But if a potion is helping, then it's helping. So, what do you want to know for your blog?"

"First and foremost, why are you on Unhinged and what kind of people are you looking for?"

She guffawed at that, "Seriously? That's the best you've got? You need to get more specific with your lines of questioning. I'm on it to meet people. And I'm looking for people who want to get to know me for me. How do you get a full blog post out of that?"

I thought on it for a second. I guess I could get more specific with my line of questioning. Humans would want to know more about the individual creatures, sure, but they would also want to know about the creatures as a whole. The blog could double as a learning experience.

"So, how did you become a zombie?"

She smirked, "I was hit by a car. The first person on the scene was a nurse. She tried so hard to keep me alive, but it didn't work. The second person on scene was a necromancer. He was a bit more successful."

"So you were human until then. What's it like being a zombie compared to a human?"

"It's interesting. I'm slower. Hungrier. The more I let my flesh rot away, the more people stay away from me. Which I get. And apart from the paper skin that allows you to see my veins, I'm pretty typical human when I get Drakar to help me out. Right now is a bit rough because I slammed my knee into a cabinet the other day. So, it's slowing me down."

"I know you work in retail. Do you ever have problems with people?"

"Every now and then someone will freak out, but for the most part, humans are used to it. I did have someone try and go for my brain not too long ago, but my manager got in the way just in time and stopped him."

"So zombies can be killed will you damage their brains?"

She laughed, "Yeah, but so can humans, you know."

She had a point. I was enjoying this new line of questioning. As I was asking, however, I didn't notice the tide coming in more and more. Astrid's knee must have been more damaged that she had realized. When the water finally reached us, we jumped up real quick to get out of the way. There was a crunch of bone and she fell over. I noticed her leg being taken away with the tide.

I ran after it, grateful I had brought my swim trunks. I retrieved the leg and brought it back to her. She put it in her back pack and I picked her up, carrying her back to her car. She reattached it using some temporary salve as I called Drakar to let him know she was on the way in. Before we parted, I asked her another thing.

"What ever happened to that necromancer? Why do you go to Drakar?"

"Oh! Drakar murdered him for control of the west side."

"Fair enough. Have a good evening."

She drove off slowly, and I sat in my car to check my messages. Hundreds of matches had been made on Unhinged and I was struggling to know who to choose next. With the obvious realization to open up my line of questioning, I felt swamped with choices. I wanted to know about trolls. I wanted to know how the kitsune was different from Jayla, the cat girl. There were tons of ideas floating through my head all of a sudden.

Dear reader, this ride will be changing as we progress, and I hope you enjoy the change. I promise you more in depth interviews and a wider net of creatures to meet. Drop a line if you have any you specifically want to know about, and any questions you would have for them, and I'll see if the match exists. Until next time.

-Silas D.