How I Met Your Monster #13

Jayla

Profile:

Jayla, 22

Catgirl

Likes: Fishing, cooking, dancing, napping

Dislikes: Arguing

Bio:

Heyy. I’m Jayla. Not like those other catgirls. Just playing. I’m looking for someone who wants to go on an adventure!! I love fishing and cooking, and am trained in six different kinds of sword fighting techniques. HMU! Nyaa~~

AD

JOIN THE MEN OF THE STARS. MEETINGS EVERY TUESDAY ONLINE. GO TO A TALL OAK TREE. CLIMB IT. PLUCK A LEAF FROM THE TOP AND THROW IT TO THE WIND. WISH TO FIND US. ONCE THE LEAF HITS THE GROUND, IT WILL HAVE THE WEBSITE WRITTEN ON IT. CREATE A PROFILE AND JOIN THE MEETING BEFORE 7PM CENTRAL TIME.

After a lot of “No, you pick,” I finally relented and chose the smoothie shop for my interview with Jayla. I grabbed an ORANGE DREAM which was very citrus-y but not too acidic, and chose a table. Before too long, in bounds this girl. She’s on the shorter side, closer to five feet. She has blue hair that somehow looks natural, matching blue ears on the top of her head, and a long blue tail. She’s wearing a sailor’s outfit, and had a piece of leather around her neck with a bell hanging off of it.

She had asked me to get her a smoothie, and I picked something I was hoping she would like. She gave me no direction or hints, so I went with also an orange dream. She nearly tackled me with a hug before sitting down in the chair opposite me and trying a sip. Her eyes lit up with little sparkles appearing in them.

“This is so so so so good! You have great taste!”

“Um, thank you,” I said, “I just got what I was having.”

“And it was the correct choice. Thank you.”

I chuckled nervously. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this one, but I would figure it out. She was very excitable and very lovey. I had a cat once that was pure evil, so this came as a shock to me. Though I guess Jayla was more girl than cat. Besides the ears and the tail, she pretty much looked human.

“So, you’re a catgirl?”

She nodded chipper, “That’s right! Not to be confused with a catkin or a tabaxi!”

I didn’t realize there was a difference, so I ignored her, “Um, great! So, what brings you to Unhinged?”

“Oh my gosh, I love Unhinged! I’ve gotten to meet so many people! I love taking pictures of myself, and so many guys have asked me for pictures. I’ve even gotten some people drawing pictures of me. Though, um,” her cheeks blushed, “some of them are kind of private.”

“Wait, they draw naked pictures of you?”

She nods, shyly, “Yup. But they’re really well done. I respect art so much. I send them pictures so they can be as accurate as possible when they practice.”

I push my fingers into my eyes. I’m not sure how she’s managed to live this long, “So, Jayla. What exactly are you looking for on Unhinged?”

She cocks her head and looks at me. I can see the appeal. She is very cute. I’m also a big fan of ears, and hers are distracting. She finally claps her hands together, “Nothing, really. I enjoy talking to people. So, all day as I go about my chores, I just message whoever is around to talk. I send funny pics. They send some back. I talk. They talk. Sometimes I block people and report them. But mostly, it’s all good.”

“Wait, so you don’t meet up with people?”

“Nope, this is my first date actually!”

“How long have you been on the app?”

She smiled brightly, tilting her head, “Three years!”

I notice that a lot of people who just happened to look in the window as the pass by the door turn heel and come inside, sitting as close as possible. Some have their phones out, badly hiding them as they get a picture of Jayla. It’s kind of rude.

I point it out to her and she turns to her new gathered crowd, “Oh my gosh! Thank you so much. I am so flattered you guys want pictures of me!”

She turns back to me and sips her smoothie happily.

“So, Jayla. Are all Catgirls like you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re super chipper, and honestly very naïve. Plus, your profile said something about sword fighting?”

“Oh, yeah! Watch!” She jumps up from her seat, a light surrounding her. Her sailor uniform glows and turns into leather battle armor. A large two handed sword appears in her hands. A lot of the creeps scurry out after grabbing a few quick picks. She giggles, then shifts back to how she was.

“I’m a battle Catgirl. Though, to answer your question, no. Catgirls come in all kinds. Chipper. Sullen. Tragic past causing them to fight against the possibility of love in the future. You know, the normal.”

“Right. So, are you just going to keep talking to people online instead of actually going out on dates?”

She shrugged, “Maybe. I’m not really looking to settle down with one specific person. I’ll find the right human guy to have a kitten with and that’ll be that. Maybe someone else if I want two. We’ll have sex, and then I’ll be pregnant!”

“Wait, it’s that simple? Just the once?”

“Yeah, we’re a pretty fertile species. It’s all but guaranteed.”

The potion in me that had been flaring up the whole time was tampered down by the realization that I was not ready to be a father. Although Jayla made it seem like I would be as much as a sperm donor, I couldn’t just do that to a kid.

“So,” she continued, “until then, I’ll keep chatting with all the funny people on the app. A few of us have joined together for a regular role playing game online. It’s been a blast.”

“What about in your profile about adventure?”

She nods, “I would love to go on one, but they’re few and far between. Not many adventures to be had and bad guys to slay around here. And I’ll be needed to decided on being a mother soon. This smoothie is really good!”

“Yeah, this place never fails to disappoint.”

“I can see why!” She stands up and runs to the counter. After a few minutes, she comes back with several smoothies in her arms. “I’m going to try all of them!”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Yeah! I don’t have to worry about calories. I practice my sword fighting every day!”

I smile and watch her sample all kinds of smoothies. I usually find naivety annoying, but I have to say that I am charmed by her optimism. She seems to be enjoying life for what it is. If you’re interested in meeting someone who is truly their own person, I hope you get a chance to swipe on Jayla. And please, no penis pictures. She really wanted me to add that in my write up.

Dear readers, this has been quite a journey so far. I will be away next week, but Vexys has let me know that had a few matches. She’s going to write a few up and send them to me, and I will publish it here. Until next time.

-Silas D.