How I Met Your Monster #12

Jonathan the Steel, White Knight of the Family Prade

Profile:

Jonathan, 46

Elven Knight

Likes: The Royal Family

Dislikes: This

Bio:

Tell this human to meet with me at once in regard to Princess Daywen

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Dear readers, I’ve got to say I was worried when I got matched with Sir Jonathan, loyal knight to the family Prade. I was really banking on the fact that they don’t use the internet.

Anyway.

I made my way to the meeting spot outside of the castle grounds. When I approach the front gate, I am told that I am not worthy enough to be anywhere on the grounds themselves, which is honestly a bit rude. I was asked to this meeting, am I not a guest? People, please treat your guests better.

After a long time of standing and staring at the gate, a figure approaches me. He is slender and tall, with long white hair down his back. He wears plate on his chest baring the crest of the Family Prade. His hair line is receding, which I didn’t know was possible for elves. Once he reaches me, he looks me over. I feel awkwardly underdressed in my black zip up hoodie, but it is a chilly day. His gaze is fierce before he puts a hand to his chest and makes a curt bow. I bow back.

“Master Silas Donovan. Thank you for responding to my missive. I hear you may have word on Princess Daywen.”

I blink, “Who told you that?”

“One of the wood elves came before the King asking for their monthly allowance, and they brought news of you and your journey. While I may disagree with you trying to blend humans with those of us above, I have to say that I find it noble that you reach for something more.”

Sir Jonathan, do you know what my project is?”

He let out a lighthearted chuckle, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes, “I have toyed around with this . . . app that you are using, but I must say I find it’s purpose confusing. Some people want to find mates, others want to have someone to go skating with. It seems to be a mixture of nonsense across the board. I made my profile and after receiving your reply, deleted it.”

“So, you don’t read my blog?”

“Blog? I have no knowledge of any such thing. Is there information on the Princess in this blog?”

I shake my head, maybe too quickly, “No, it’s just often my blog is the topic that first comes up. Though Princess Daywen does not come up in it. No mention whatsoever.”

“This is good. I may not know what it is, but the royal family would prefer if it is not common knowledge that she is missing.”

“Of course, I will make sure to keep that on the down low.”

He arched his eyes. I shook my head again, “Nevermind. So, how can I help you.”

“The wood elf said that he read on the internet that you had had contact with Princess Daywen some time past. I was curious of the accuracy of this.”

He knew about the internet, but not specifically what a blog was. I could feel the thin ice that I was skating on cracking. I have to be careful.

“Now that you mention it, I did see something on the internet about that. You see, I have become slightly popular in recent weeks. You must know how the media and gossips like to spread rumors.”

“Yes. I have had the displeasure of hearing this gossip of which you speak about the Queen herself.”

I nod, “Because of my recent rise in popularity, these gossips have been lying saying that I am in contact with the Princess. As if a human would be worthy enough to be one of her suitors.”

He guffawed at this. I couldn’t help but notice it was genuine, “You are quite right! The day a human has a chance to be part of the royal court is the day food can be delivered to any peasant’s door!” If there was a camera to the left of me, I would have looked directly into it. This family really did isolate itself.

“So, as I was saying. I have not had any specific contact with the princess, I’m afraid. Now that that is settled, I should be going.”

His laughing stops abruptly, and he grabs my shoulder, squeezing, “See to it that if you ever do, you report it to us directly, Master Silas Donovan. If we are to find out that you did and did not report it, we would have to take drastic action.”

I shake him off, “As much as I understand your ways, Sir Jonathan, you do not hold reign over humans or our affairs. So what I’m truly hearing is a threat to go outside of your purview to harm someone not of your kingdom. Am I correct?”

I was hoping it would be a threat, but he had me beat. He leveled his eyes with mine, “Aye, Master Silas Donovan. It is a threat. We may not be able to put you through our courts. But there are other ways to harm a man. See that you do not find out what they are.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. He started at my eyes for a little longer, then pulled away. He bowed again and began walking back to the gate, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Sir Jonathan, why do you think the Princess left?”

He stopped, looking over his shoulder, “She has always been sensitive. She has also been very adventurous. I am honestly surprised it took her this long to leave. Her sister is much more willing to rule the kingdom one day. It is my duty to find her and bring her back. But duty aside, I truly wish she finds what she wants out there. She is made for more.”

I was taken aback by the candor, but he was gone before I could ask anymore. It was a strange meeting, dear readers, but I made it out alive based purely on luck that this wood elf didn’t explain blogs to him. I must ask those of you who read this to please not direct the royal family to this blog, as I don’t wish to be tortured or for Daywen to be in any trouble. Until next time.

-Silas D.