How I Met Your Monster #10

Samara

Samara, 22 (For a while now)

Vampire

Likes: Riddles, Escape Rooms

Dislikes: I try to keep an open mind

Bio:

Name is Samara. Call me Sam. Been a vampire for about twenty years now. As much as it's awesome to always be 22 . . . nope, that's it. It's awesome. Anyway, hit me up if you want to get to know each other. I won't bite (ha. Get it?)

AD

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First and foremost, dear readers, I am happy at your response to Vexys' interview with Zeus. I agree that I should have her do more interviews moving forward. I'm sure it will be an absolute pleasure working with her, and I have no ulterior motives.

Anyway, I was expecting Samara to want to meet up in some weird, crazy place, or the Red Eye Cafe, where they were mad at me for what I said about the Chef's Special (which is why we gave them free AD placement last week), but luckily, she was all for my idea of the park.

As any near my area may know, the Grayson City Park keeps their lights on overnight, and is very welcoming to anyone who may want to enjoy the facilities. I highly recommend it. It is very safe. So, armed with a golf club, I made my way to the park where Sam wanted to meet.

I've known many vampires, and Samara fit right in with them. Something about becoming a vampire just made you want to buy a leather jacket and skull accessories. Her hair was dark black and messy, but long. She had true red eyes (unlike Amber, who I later learned was wearing contacts) and turned to face me before any human would have been able to know I was there. Clearly tired of how long it was taking me to walk the last few hundred feet, she zipped to my side.

"Hey, Silas. It's nice to meet you."

"It's great to meet you too, Sam. Have I been keeping you long?"

"Nah, just got here. Just didn't want to make you have to walk the whole way. Mind if we walk and talk?"

We walked and talked, her head on a swivel. She kept biting at her bottom lip with her fang, and I immediately knew what we were doing. Sam was hungry.

"I'm not an accomplice to anything, am I?"

She laughed, "I wouldn't do that to you, man. There are always people walking around the park at night offering themselves up to whoever may want them. Vampire lovers are pretty common."

"Any of them ever ask you to sparkle?"

"Ha! You know, I knew a kid who turned around the time those books got big. She thought that's how we actually worked, and wanted to see herself sparkles in the sun."

"Anyone stop her in time?"

"Oh yeah. Well, kind of. It took a few weeks before her skin fully healed."

"Oof. So, why are you on Unhinged? Another way to find a food supply?"

She chuckled, "Maybe when the humans are finally allowed on. For now, I'm mostly trying to find people who want to do puzzles together. I'm really into escape rooms and things like that. I'm trying to start a competitive circuit up, and want to put a team together. I'm also not against meeting the right girl or guy and having a good time."

"I wish I could help. I am absolute shit at puzzles."

"Once you get used to it, just about everyone gets better at it. it's like anything else. Enough practice, and you train your mind to get used to it. Oh, there's someone."

She wanders over and talks to a guy for a few minutes. He's incredibly excited to see her. She tolls her eyes a few times while he gushed over her. Finally, he cranes his neck and she sinks her teeth in. They thank each other and she comes back over to me.

"Some of these people are weird. But I appreciate the service they offer."

"So, for the record, do you turn any of these guys?"

She shakes her head, "Very few of these people want to be turned. They just like the feeling of it. We always take enough to be sustained, but not too much to turn them. It's a balancing act."

"What about the ones that do want to be turned?"

She thought on it for a second, "I try to get a good feel for them. Hang out for a bit before choosing whether or not to do it. It's kind of dangerous just turning anyone who wants it. Then you get guys like the dude who was going around just changing everyone."

"Oh, hey! I reported on that! In Baltimore? That was crazy. Small town, eighty percent of the population changed into vampires. The remaining twenty decided to leave and now that town runs purely at night time."

She nods with my recollection, Yeah, they make some damn find blood jam too. Anyway, some of the crew I roll with helped track him down to let the hunters take him out. Can't let some rogue vampire cause that much damage again."

"Yeah, I get that. So, what are you looking for in a potential date or puzzle partner?"

"For the escape rooms, I'm looking for someone who is competitive but not hostile. I'm hoping I can put at least four teams of five together. I already have a few people who are interested. Even if you think you're not good at puzzles, you never know. And more than four teams would be fantastic."

"And for the dates?"

"I like a partner who communicates what they want and what they'll do. You know, Silas, you're pretty cute. I've been following your blog since the jump, and glad we got to meet, but didn't think you'd look so good."

I laughed, "I appreciate the compliment. It's not just hunger talking, is it?"

"No, no," she said. "I won't need to feed again for another few days. I'm thinking we can have some fun in other ways though. I could even throw some riddles your way to see if you really are bad at puzzles and lateral thinking."

I smiled at her and agree. Dear readers, there are a lot of things in this life that are certain. Death is almost assured (for us humans, at least). Taxes are an ever-looming threat. And when you're single and a cute vampire girl offers to come back to your place and strip off a piece of clothing for every riddle that you get correct, you go for it. Especially when you've seen her just feed and know she's not tricking you. Until next time.

-Silas D.