How I Met Your Monster #03

Drakar, the Sorcerer

Profile:

Drakar the Enchanted One, 57

Sorcerer

Likes: Power, the elements, pranking wizards

Dislikes: Warlocks. At least the wizards put some effort into it

Bio:

Seeking those who wish to test things for me. Looking for success? Love? Lust? Come to me and I will set you up with what you desire. For a price.

Drakar asked me to meet him at his office. I approached the skyscraper, reported in with the front desk, and made my way up to the thirty-sixth floor via elevator. It opened to a large office that seemed to take over the majority of the floor. A desk was immediately in front of me, and as I looked around, I could see writing on the walls as well as art deco paintings and scorch marks.

At the desk sat Drakar, who stared at me as I looked around. I knew from his profile that he is in his fifties, but he looked like he was in his mid-twenties. Chalk it up to magic, I suppose. When I finally made eye contact with him, he smirked and rose from the desk. He was roughly my height, dark black hair and beard with a gray streak in each. He was a broad man and made his way over to me in a few short strides.

“Well met, Mr. Donovan,” he said in a deep tenor, “Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you, but please call me Silas.”

He nodded and sat after I did.

“This is an admirable thing you are doing, Silas. The world will only improve by merging the existence of monsters and humans closer. And what better way to do that than by getting them to mate.”

I choked, “I mean, sure. But even them just learning about each other and becoming friends is a solid start.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “My boy, that is but a scratch to the surface of possibilities. Do you know how I became a sorcerer?”

“You studied a lot of magic?”

“That’s wizards, Silas. Sorcerers are born with innate magic power. We come upon it legitimately as chosen people. My mother’s side is all human. My father’s side is mostly the same but a few generations back, there are elementals. It is their lineage that gives me my power. Why deny the possibility for future generations?”

“So, the best way is to mate?”

“Of course! If everyone was a monster, then everyone would be on equal footing. There would be no humans making human decisions. The possibilities are endless.”

“And that’s why you joined Unhinged? To continue your lineage?”

He smirked, “No, my boy. I joined Unhinged to sell. If there’s one thing that monsters want, it’s something more than they have. The dragon folk want gold. The wizards want information. Half the monsters want love. The others want sex. And I am here to sell that to them.”

My mouth grew dry, “How do you sell them things like that?”

“With magic, of course. Now, take a look at my eyes.”

I looked in his eyes, taking in the swirling shapes that appeared there. My mind grew fuzzy and the room grew dark around him. I remembered my past, growing up with my mom and brother. I remembered my friends from school, and my exes. I remembered every article I wrote and the events that happened to allow me to write them. I remembered my dates with Vexys and Marie.

All of a sudden, the room cleared. Drakar was nowhere around from what I could tell. I looked out the window overlooking the city and realized that the sun had gone down, and not recently. I checked my phone, and saw that several hours had passed.

(Note to Unhinged. This is not an excuse as to why this post is coming out late)

A door slammed opened behind me and I turned around to see Drakar coming in through it. He smiled at me, “Good, you’re awake. I focused a lot of my magic on this one. Looking through your past, it seems like you need a few things. You need to be braver. You need to be more open. More confident. And you need to be willing to experience things.”

“What do you mean?”

He held out a vial, “This is a concoction I have made. It will grant you these things. I saw how you’ve frozen up in the past. You liked the gorgon, but didn’t make a real move. You wanted to hook up with the werewolf girl, but she scared you. You are missing out on life, my boy, and this potion will help. Free of charge.”

“Nothing is free, Drakar.”

He smiled, “Fair enough. I only wish that you tell on your little blog what happened here. And then keep writing. Let the readers know what you experience. Everything you experience. Be more relaxed and willing to see where these dates can take you, Silas Donovan. And in return, I will receive more business. You are, how do they say it, giving me exposure.”

“People don’t tend to like being paid in exposure; you know.”

“And yet word of mouth can be an excellent business model.”

“And what if I don’t want to hook up with someone? It’s not going to force me, is it?”

He laughed, “Of course not. It will just help you tear down that wall of self-doubt. It will drive you to what you truly want. So, take it. Experience real monster dating life. You humans think you have hook up culture, but you know nothing yet.”

“I’m in this for the research, Drakar.”

“And this potion will make you unafraid to ask the questions you really want to ask. But it will not protect you if the questions make the interviewee angry, so be careful about going too far.”

I looked at him and he looked at me. I will tell you, dear reader, that I have been afraid to truly ask the questions that I want to. Vexys proved to me that pissing off a gorgon is not a good idea. Marie could’ve ripped my throat out without even breaking a sweat. I’ve been walking on eggshells. My confidence has never been great, which is why I became a reported, rather than someone who gets reported on. I drank the potion.

Drakar smiled and showed me to the elevator. It’s been a while since then, and I am now in the comfort of my own home. My computer is playing The Struts and the room is dark outside of the light of the monitor. I am sitting in my pajamas. Everything feels . . . the same.

I’m not sure if that potion worked. But I guess you’ll learn with me, dear readers. Until next time.

-Silas D.