How I Met Your Monster #02

Marie

Marie, 24

Werewolf

Interests: Cardio, movie.

Dislikes: People with low stamina

Bio: Hit me up if you want to have some fun. Just make sure you can keep up

For the record and all future references, clubs are not a great place to hold interviews. On the flip side of that, I did get to witness Marie as she truly is without her putting on what I like to refer to as a ‘date mask’.

When I walked in the bass was pumping, shaking the building with some basic EDM song. The crowd was cheering and gathered around. I was naturally taken to the area, where I saw Marie. She was all energy, grabbing whoever she could get a hold of and dancing with them wildly before moving on to someone else from the crowd around her. She was the life of the party and the center of attention. As the song died down and moved onto something else, she gathered her breath and saw me.

She’s tall, just a tad shorter than my six-foot three-inch height. She had long black hair in a ponytail, and small tufts of brown hair everywhere else. Her chestnut brown eyes shone in the light of the dance floor, and she had decided to wear a white halter top and checkered miniskirt out for the night.

She all but tackled me as she ran over and grabbed on, putting me in one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever experienced. I could feel the strength of her forearms in that hug. Between her natural genetic makeup and working out, Marie is an impressive athletic specimen. She asked me something and I pointed to my ear and shook my head. She laughed, drowned out by the music, and rolled her eyes before grabbing my wrist and dragging me to a back room.

“It’s so good to meet you! Vexys said you were hot.”

I nervously laughed, and returned a greeting before clearing my throat, “So, Marie, interesting choice.”

“I was going to be here tonight with or without you. Constant movement plus music? Clubs are great for cardio if you’re willing to have fun.”

“Cardio is that important to you?”

She nodded almost violently, “I always have a bunch of pent-up energy. Comes with the territory, I guess. I always want to be moving. Or sweating. Or panting. Speaking of which, this room is very private.”

She winked at me, and a lump grew in my throat.

“I think we should probably keep this professional for now, Marie.”

She tsked, “You’re no fun. But maybe later.” The wink that followed felt dangerous, but she continued on, “So, what do you want to know?”

“Well,” I began, “as I’m sure you know, this project is to help people get used to the idea of non-humans. So, anything you want to tell me about yourself or werewolves in general is incredibly helpful.”

She grinned, a small fang poking out, “What’s there to say? Take a wolf or a dog and add the thoughts and . . . enthusiasm of humans. And you get us.”

“So, were you human before? I know a lot of myths say that werewolves are humans infected with lycanthropy.”

She growled, “No. It is not an infection. My parents were werewolves. And their parents were werewolves. And if you and I were to hook up and you happened to get me pregnant, our kids would be half werewolf.”

“No need to worry about the moon then?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, you should definitely be worried about the moon. The closer it is to the full moon, the less control we have. If you and I were alone in here during the full moon, you wouldn’t be walking out of here alive.”

“I see. And how do you combat this?”

“My family has a place upstate. Every month, my brothers and sisters and I head up there. It’s a contained area, so we just run around and hunt all night, chasing wildlife.”

“You have siblings? How many?”

She blew a puff of air and looked to the ceiling, “Let’s see . . . twenty-six? I think. We tend to have lots of litters. And those are just the ones that I share full biological genes with. I know both my parents have litters with others.”

“I’m going to assume you’re looking for some fun rather than a mate, then? On Unhinged?”

She laughed, “You would assume right. My parents will want me to have my core family with another werewolf, but there are so many hot demon guys and all sorts of deities on that app. It’s like a smorgasbord of fun. Though, the last guy I was with was a disappointment.”

“Was he?”

“Yeah,” she said, “Some superhero guy. Not one of the big ones that are always in the news, but he had some cool powers. The downside was that one of his powers was to be a two pump chump. I nearly tore his throat out for wasting my time.”

“I see.”

“That being said, I’m not as traditional as my parents. Yeah, right now, I’m just trying to find someone to rut around with, but if I find a guy I’m into and want to be with, I’m not opposed to it. I would absolutely love that.”

I nodded, “So, would you say that Unhinged has helped you with what you’ve been looking for?”

“Of course,” she said, “It sucks that I might have a bad date or hookup, but it’s easier than going around introducing yourself to people. Also, I get to swipe left on all the loser werewolf guys.”

“What would you say to any humans that might join the app in the future?”

She laughs at this question, “I'd say, when a cute werewolf girl pulls you into a private room and basically asks you to pin her to the wall, go along with it. Life’s too short not to have some fun.”

Dear readers, I’m not afraid to say that I was a bit intimidated by Marie. I work out, I do cardio, I feel like I know at least a bit of what I’m doing, but a werewolf girl who has a standard of what she wants can be frightening.

That being said, I know a lot of you humans out there are up for the challenge. A cute werewolf girl like Marie is exactly what you’re looking for. So start getting into shape now. If Unhinged opens their app to you, you don’t want to not meet what Marie is looking for. I also highly recommend you check the calendar before the date. If you end up disappointing her near the full moon, it might be the last thing you do.

-Silas D.