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-Staring down a miniature, blue hulk of poisonous spikes and her smirking, bondie trainer, I’ve never been happier for an awkward cell phone ringing. It’s Naomi.

“One second,” Raising my finger, “Sorry, it’s my boss.”

The couple looks vaguely put off from the ruined moment. Tomoe’s Nidoqueen looks at the ref but they just shrug. “Another minute makes no difference.”

Accepting the call, “Kurt! I lost Kurt, to some tower grunt from Kalos!”

“No one likes being called a grunt,” Glancing over the cliff side I can actually see her walking up my way, “I take it you had more to say?”

“Ya I checked with the ref, the fire jerk is in your bracket as well.”

I get another call waiting, “Just come up, Jane is calling me.”

A familiar redheaded, feral grin appears on video chat, “Hey Old Man! My Scolipede just wrecked a Chesnaught! Trojan was awesome, but so was that Kalos starter! I totally want one someday.”

Maybe that was Fire dude’s teammate?

Citro peeks in from the side, “Hi Kurt, I won too.”

He doesn’t sound very stoked about it, “Why the frown kid?”

Jane grimaces too, “I recognise his next opponent, a wannabe Ground type specialist from Mauville. He got to the semis in last year’s Rookie Tournament.”

Behind her I see a guy release a big buffalo pokemon. “Gotta run Kurt, or my battle might start without me!”

Before she hangs up a call out, “Give it your best Citro! Remember it’s just training!”

“Hmf,” Naomi grumbles as she plops down on the field side bench, “Going down in flames doesn’t feel like great training.”

Gabby and Ty crest the spire top, “Either way we got great footage!”

My opponent shouts from across the field, “Your cheer squad all here yet?! Let’s battle!”

Shit… I think I need to save my turtle for the fire trainer. I’m pretty sure that makes Kona my only option here. Palossand should shrug off nearly everything in this match up, and it's a tad too bright on this taller spire for Shak.

I step to the starting position, noticing our production crew giving me the thumbs up. Sighing, “All set on our end.”

My giant sand castle enters the tournament!

The ref doesn't wait a second longer, “Battle Start!”

Tomoe is still all scowls, she yells out, “We can’t get caught Duchess, so let's end it fast! Unstoppable!”

Nidoqueen drops to all fours and charges ahead, rocks and dirt swirling around her, some version of Drill Run probably.

I wait until she’s a second away from hitting, “Curse.”

The poisonous rhino definitely hits my Palossand, and I’m sure that it did a bit of damage. Not enough to make it explode in a burst of black sand like it did however.

“What?” Blondie hesitates before her eyes go wide, “No! Quick, fight it off with Earth Power!”

Like an inverse quicksand, Kona is quickly crawling up Nidoqueen’s hide. Countless sand particles are already encasing the legs and tail, now moving up to her stomach.

“Harden!” I call out, “Lock it in Sand Tomb and the battle is over!”

Some form of energy, only visible in the ripples across Kona’s smothering, black sand, fights off the encroaching doom.

That’s not enough to stop us, “Start Mega Drain!”

Duchess the Nidoqueen struggles like a dinosaur in a tar pit fighting off extinction. Each second looking like hours as her strength fads fast and my Palossand speeds up the entrapment.

“Fight it off with Stomping Tantrum!”

I pretend not to hear the desperation in her voice.

Her boyfriend yells from the side. “You can do this!”

Well he couldn’t and neither will she, “I know you can taste her fear Kona, use it.”

Black sand bursts from everywhere, even leaving Nidoqueen so fast she stumbles. Like a wave it rapidly crests in the shape of a dragon skull with glowing purple eyes that cause the opponent to lock up in panic.

Astonish doesn’t do much actual damage, but, “Two for flinching.”

A black tsunami shaped Bulldoze crashes into the Nido, knocking her off her feet and trapping her in a whirlpool of sand that folds in on itself like a flower unblooming. A five foot, black egg stands in the middle of the field. Nidoqueen is trapped inside with no sign of escaping.

Tomoe is glaring in anger and shock from across the field, “Outrage Duchess, come on!”

But nothing happens… Kona collapses away from an unconscious opponent and reforms back on my side of the field. A personified monument to complete victory.

Our ref calls it, “Nidoqueen is unable to battle, Palossand wins.”

Tomoe isn’t taking this well, “Curse is Tauros shit! Stupid ghost types. Nearly all of our training, completely ineffective!”

Her boyfriend mouths an apology and leads her away.

Looking at my cheerfully swaying sandcastle, “Remind me to tell you about Krakens later. We’ll guarantee they flinch, every time.”

“As if you need it,”Naomi walks over at the same time as the Ref.

“Trainer Kurt, your next opponent is Felix. He’ll be on that spire over there.” They point to a tower just below ours.

“Not quite to the main stage yet I guess.” I joke.

Ty snorts, “Keep giving us battles like that and the viewers will demand it.”

Naomi fist bumps my arm, “Nice win Kurt!” Her tone darkens, “Now it’s time to avenge your boss!”

Chuckling, “Sure, let's check on the other two first.”

From up here we can see Jane’s Marowak acting like a traditional bullfighter against the big buffalo. The angry bull has several patches of burnt black fur.

Citro is already shaking hands with his opponent while a Flygon is trying to snuggle the kid’s Noibat.

Naomi sighs, “That’s just bad luck. Oh wow!”

Marowak parries with a spin, another Head Charge of the Bouffalant just misses as Jane’s pokemon follows up with a massive smash of her club to the back of the Not a Cow’s skull. It collapses in a heap, sliding forward with a cloud of dust.

Jane jumps in place while Marowak does her own quick, bone spinning dance.

Looking over to my next opponent’s spire, I just catch his Torkoal use a Flame Wheel like a comet to smash into a Medicham. Felix is in a white leather jacket with red stripes. A pair of orange glasses rests on his head like a band over his bright blonde hair.

“Let's head down.”

Jane and Citro pass us along the rope bridges.

“Did you see my Marowak?!”

I nod, “That was pretty cool. Sorry about the bad luck, Bud.”

Citro is actually grinning, “No way, I got a whole page worth of tips for helping Noibat develop her Dragon energy! He also talked with me about some options I have with my Whiscash. So I really feel like this was a win overall!”

“Nice! Well, good luck on your next battle Jane.”

Her enthusiasm falters, “It’s Katie’s girl, Blake.”

“Another local favorite?” I noticed Naomi’s expression mirror Jane’s reluctance.

Jane rolls her eyes, “Ya, she made top 8 in rookies, and again in last year’s regional conference.”

Naomi looks out across the spires to the east, “Hoenn, home of history, The Rumble, and more water type trainers than the Orange League.”

This kid. “Alright Great Sage Naomi, looks like we’ve got a minute while Felix is still battling. Let's watch Jane’s battle.”

The four of us plus Gabby and Ty arrive at a spire where a collection of Hoenn 2nd and 3rd year pros are gathered.

Alloy happens to poke her head up from the stairs as well. She’s pouting, “Watts! You’re out already?!”

While my boss grumbles like the young teen she is, I answer, “Some Kalos dude from their battle tower. I’m battling him next in a bit. The lime boy here got knocked out by the fellow standing over there next to Jane’s current opponent.”

A gal with green hair perks up, “Are one of you Jane?”

Her friend with the Flygon gives a friendly grin, “It’s the redhead, I’ve seen this team on the local network. The boy showed some spine.”

Blake skips over to the field, “Alright let's have some fun! Since you guys are rookies I’ll bring my partner out first.”

While a ref approaches the side of the field, a flash of blue light reveals a freakin’ Swampert!

Jane’s eye twitches, “Kurt, remind me to catch a Grass type someday.”

Thinking about it, all three of her remaining team have a water weakness.

Still, she steps to the field and sends out her Krokorok.

“Battle Start!”

Blake crosses her arms while Jane gives the first command, “Crooky, Taunt that overblown Wooper!”

I mutter, “I still don’t think that’s how that is supposed to work.”

Swampert just tilts its head a bit until it hears Blake snort laugh. The big salamander’s brows shoot up before turning back towards the sand croc doing a power pose. Swampert growls while cracking its neck.

The water trainer points ahead, “Now, open and follow up full on!”

Before anyone can decipher that command, Swampert slams the ground so hard that dust and rocks spray up. Suddenly an arc of water is propelling it all forward leaving no room to dodge on the ground.

Jane yelps, “Dig fast!”

Crooky dives against the ground and quickly burrows, his exposed rear still gets a passing hit from the slushy rubble. When the muddy spray settles, both pokemon are gone.

My teammate is wide eyed searching the field for any sign of the opponent.

Blake gives a pitying sigh, “Flush.”

Gravel and mud erupts from several cracks and holes across the entire field. From the very hole Crooky dug, the poor guy gets launched into the air!

Swampert quickly follows, riding its own geyser. At the peak, just above the falling croc, the big salamander does a front flip, slamming its tail with such force that poor Crooky crashes back to ground in a crater of mud.

The blue force of nature lands, posing menacingly over the face up, unconscious croc.

“Krokorok is unable to battle, Swampert wins.”

Jane recalls her pokemon, clearly worried about him, but by the way she’s looking at her opponent, “Swampert didn’t put any energy in that last attack, right?”

Blake grimaces a little but nods, “An actual Aqua Tail would have seriously injured your little buddy.”

“Okay, thanks I guess.” Jane takes a slow breath and walks forward to shake hands, “Can you at least tell me what all that was?”

“Sure!” The young lady from Lily cove looks relieved her opponent isn’t taking the loss too hard.

“Really?!”

Now Blake seems excited, “We have to show all those visiting trainers that Hoenn is no preschool playground! Okay first, you need to really nail down channeling type energy and move combos. It’s how all those showstopping champion moves begin. That opener was a watered down version of Stonesurge mixing Sand Attack, Rock Throw, and Water Pulse. We’re still working on it. But, while you were trying to respond, Swampert was already digging himself!”

The older trainer looks like she could go on for hours. Thankfully, an official approaches our team, “Trainer Kurt, your opponent is ready.”

“Using the power of Water Spout to Surf the upswell let’s him get up close and personal with airborne targets.”

“Jane,” I wave, “We’re off to the next battle, meet us later.”

She just nods while taking notes on her phone.

Blake gives a friendly wave and pulls back her green hair while continuing to talk, “If the approximate levels were equal, your evolved Krookodile would easily out speed almost any attack Swampert has that isn’t an area effect. With more training, a Krokorok could usually escape many of the same moves, hence our wide scale open.”

While school is in session for the redhead, we need to go.

After herding the nervous Naomi and Citro across one of the longer bridges, Ty in back reminding his wife that now isn’t the time to edit footage, we arrive at the central spire.

If we were not hundreds of feet above ground level on a narrow plateau, you’d think this was a neighborhood ball game. The few bleachers someone managed to drag up here are filling up as the competition narrows down.

Across the way, a young man in a white, leather jacket with orange shades smirks, “About time, let's do this!”

A ref on one of those lifeguard towers waves a flag, “Pokemon out!”

With little choice I send out my Carracosta, “Wreck ‘em Zilla!”

My Toho monster is ready to put out some fire!

Opposite the field, “We set the high bar, fly Dante!”

Fireworks in avian form. Embers rain from Talonflame as it screeches in dominance. So that's how big a 50lb bird is.

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