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A week of taking it easy, that was the good doctor’s orders. So here I am on this cloudy spring morning, in a lawn chair, watching my Golbat practice quickly picking up and throwing my nearly evolved Sandslash.

“Put a bit more spin on it you two! Use the rotation to aim and lighten the recoil on the hit.” Little Rusty is already about my waist in height and the scale in the Pokemon Center put him at nearly 80 lbs, so about as much as any house appliance. Imagine getting a dishwasher thrown at you from high speeds, that’s what we’re working on right now.

Jane looks over from waxing her pony sized Scolipede’s fresh exoskeleton plates. “Are you ever going to use that in an actual battle?”

Naomi snorts, “We could ask the same about half your team Jane.”

The big bug chitters in agreement and impatiently taps the ground.

Our redhead pats the critter’s belly plates, “Don’t worry, today we’ll head for Petalburg, you and Marowak will have your big gym debut tomorrow.”

When registering for the Petalburg Gym the kids were given options for what type of battle they could challenge with. Jane opted for 3v3 singles while Naomi was able to pick another double battle under the stipulation they use new pokemon. Hence the girls spending some bonding time with their perhaps neglected pokemon.

Naomi has her rather goose-like Swablu in her lap, helping to preen the cloudy white feathers.

Meanwhile, Citro was mandated to a more traditional 2v2 singles battle. He’s working with his Noibat and Salazzle, the current targets of my aerial cannonballing. “Come on Noibat, narrow that Whirlwind tighter! Send him way off course.”

His weirdly feminine lizard cackles as she uses corrosive purple smog to obscure herself as a target.

Scratching my overdue scruff, “You kids thinking of names for those pokemon?”

The boy kicks a mushroom poking out of the field grass, “I don’t think figuring out cool Names is something I’m any good at.” Salazzle hisses at him, “Hey don’t worry, we’ll come up with something together!”

While his pokemon seems appeased, Jane gets a light headbutt from her Scolipede.

“I’m working on it! How about Ringo, ya know cause you got those purple rings?” The bug horse shakes his head to the negative, “Alright I’ll keep thinking about it.”

Naomi sighs into her work and smirks at seeing Swablu’s delicate feathers flutter, then looking at me, “You never told us what battle you signed up for Kurt.”

Chuckling, I pull out the badge case from my pocket, “I already have the badge from Petalburg, seems ya forgot.”

Her pout could make her fans riot. Being stuck around the house for a few days gave me plenty of time to putt around the internet, or Pokenet. This brat is stupid popular, like teen idol popular. Thankfully you’d never know just hangin out with her daily.

She acts like any other young teen girl, fussing over her hair and on her phone too much. Though she does put in what you’d consider office hours. Essentially video calls, sponsorship meetings, interviews, fan Q&As and so on via her tablet.

It also means she can’t slack off her remaining time not working with her pokemon. Her Swablu takes off making room for her Alolan Vulpix to hop up on her lap for his grooming turn. He’s grown quite a fair bit in the last couple weeks, especially thanks to the Ice Stone on his collar.

Again, one of the main criticisms I’ve seen online is how much of her team has their evolution speed increased by items you can pay for. But in her shoes, I would do the same thing. She Needs a powerful team, and she’s smart enough to figure her way around the drawbacks she’s currently facing.

Her phone alarm goes off, she exhales a deep sigh, making the Vulpix fidget. “Time to get moving… I should brush these two more often, it's very relaxing.”

Citro returns his Pokémon to their balls, “You caught your Phantump in the woods we’re visiting, right Kurt?”

“Yup, that’s why we are making sure to be done by sunset.”

The requirement for applying for a gym match in Petalburg, is a forestry outing. I got a pass based on timing but normally trainers need to go out for a long hike. We’ll be clearing dead trees and brush, as well as any trash, and looking out for any injured wild Pokémon. Fire safety and animal rescue basically.

The Wattson family upgraded our jeep yesterday too. I’m actually a bit excited to drive what amounts to a Humvee. This one is black and red, armored, seats six comfortably, eight with some collapsing seats. And, it even has a snorkel. Does that actually matter? No. But Jane says I giggled like a little boy when I saw it.

The Rhyperior All Terrain Vehicle, or RATV, although it feels ironic calling this thing the Rat.

Jane leans up from the middle seats, “look at yourself, you’d think it was your birthday.”

“Well it feels like it.” I swerve a bit just to grin wider at the smooth and responsive steering.

“Alright,” Lacy chides, “let's keep it on the road for now. You can spin circles in the fields in winter… when I'm not along for the delinquency.”

The outskirts of the small town come into sight after what amounts to barely a forty minute drive.

Naomi points at the big green house I saw the first time I was here, “That’s Champion Wally’s home!”

“He seemed, nice? I guess polite would be the word… actually, that bugger didn’t even acknowledge my presence now that I think about it!”

That’s right, he only talked to May before his cousin with the horrible pasta pushed him along. They said she was a world’s gym leader, right?

We pass the green house, spotting a Bulbasaur watering flower pots with a pale.

Citro practically leaps from his seat, “Oh man, I used to dream of catching a Bulbasaur! Maybe I’ll catch my first Hoenn Pokémon today.”

“Oh,” thinking about what I’ve seen in the woods, “I’m sure you’ll find an adorable Wurmple.”

Jane snorts but the boy just plops back to his seat, “You did mention it’s fairly sparse around here. Between the Trevenants and Mightyena, not much aside from bugs and smaller grass pokemon.”

Naomi flips her tablet around to show him something, “Mauville Park has nearly every species of electric Pokémon. From there we’ll head north to Lavaridge, the regions at the base of the mountain have all sorts of strong, rare Pokémon.”

“Here we are,” I announce as we pull up to the gym warehouse. I spot a pair of olive haired, familiar faces and roll down the window as I stop the Ratv, “Well if it isn’t the moonlighting newly weds, nice to finally meet you fully clothed and in the sun.”

Mary practically buries her face in her khaki blouse, but Berke just laughs, “And you’re not being chased by a tree this time.”

Jane hops out of the car, “He’s got the rest of today to fix that.”

Berke shakes his head, “Nah, our local champ chased them angry stumps back a few miles last night. Another team triggered their rescue beacon on their way into town. Everyone’s out back, we were waiting on you guys.”

Lacy gives me a peck on the cheek, “I’m going to do a round of check ups here in town. Viv called me yesterday about a cough going around the kids.”

“I was wondering if you were planning on hiking with us.”

“Nope, just don’t come out of the woods claiming you took another arrow to the knee.”

Around the warehouse we’re led to a small garden courtyard where a familiar Camerupt is hitched to a large wagon. Courtney is petting it’s head while Max is placing something in a toolbox along the side of the wagon.

Shuffling their feet off to the side are three of the Fallarbor Ronin team, looking pretty unenthused about today’s activity.

“Howdy Max!” I give the man an annoyingly friendly slap on the back causing him to nearly stumble face first into the wagon.

“Arceus Kurt!” He sighs, “let’s talk a minute.” He speaks up to the rest, “we’ll head out in Five minutes. Make sure you’re ready, only bring what you can carry for three hours. Don’t forget water.”

He gestures for me to head just inside the gym.

Once the doors shut, “Let me guess, angry trees?”

A nod, “Yup. The fourth Fallarbor kid is still in shock I guess. She hasn’t spoken all morning, flinches at every creaky floorboard.”

I glance at the old gym style wooden floor, “I won’t expect to see ‘em here then.”

“That’s just the small issue,” his tone stern, “You might not believe it, but even Trevenant don’t make a habit of seriously attacking Every passerby.”

Hey, my Blue is as fun loving as they come, “No I’m sure you’re right. You think those kids did something? Are none of them talking?”

Max shakes his head, “They get super cagey when it comes up. I asked directly and you should have seen the pre-school play level acting.”

Right, “I was going to talk to you about a run-in I had with a Mightyena pack. They’re getting aggressive about losing anymore territory.”

“You’re thinking it’s all connected?” The gym leader leans against the wall with his eyes closed, “I grew up playing in these woods Kurt. If I got lost, I only had to shout for a Mightyena to come running to help me home. This is farmlands and rookie territory…”

His grey eyes lock onto me, “Your girls are popular. Get the Fallarbor team to spill whatever they might know… I’ve had it easy as gym leader for too long it seems.”

Look at this guy all serious, I remember the twerp from the show. I can’t help it, “Don’t worry I’ll make the brats talk.”

Max’s brows scrunch, “Uh, hold on.”

“No need to worry, I’ll have them begging for mercy in no time!” I start towards the door.

“I think you miss understand something!” Panicking, he stumbles to stop me.

Pushing it open loudly, “Just give me five minutes and you’ll know what their mom likes on her toast.”

We get just in earshot of the kids as Max nearly shouts, “What?! No Kurt! They’re just kids!”

I turn back, “Twenty miles ain’t that bad!”

“Excuse me?!” His glasses nearly fall off his face as he looks over my shoulder and sees the kids looking our way. Then he spots the dumb grin I can’t keep down.

Realizing I’m messing with him, he just sighs, “No, we’re tight on time today with two teams. We’ll stick to the planned route.”

As he walks past me he mutters, “Asshole.”

“Dork.” I chuckle, “That's what you get for acting all dramatic.”

His steps pause, “It’s called sincerity, and responsibility, or being an adult.”

“A dramatic one at least.” I cut him off, “I’ll handle it Max. Just do your thing.”

I consider that I’m definitely in the wrong here as I walk over to the kids. But that's on a personal level. Professionally, I think the gym leader needs to be the unassailable wall of the town. The defense line, where everyone rallies. Walls aren’t known for their emotions. He can save the melodrama for his wife.

Naomi puts it to me while double checking her backpack, “What was that about?”

“Just getting updated on the local gossip.”

She gives me that skeptic eyebrow raise.

I lean in conspiratorially, “Wally’s cousin is a horrible cook, he spends half his salary on home delivery.”

Jane snorts while Watts just rolls her eyes.

Citro mumbles, “I thought he was sickly? Doesn’t being champ pay a lot?”

I almost tell him I’m only kidding… but there's no way anyone could survive if the rest of her food is that bad.

“Delivery fees bud, he’s probably a generous tipper too.”

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