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Kids line up along the side of the fields and in the bleachers while the instructors separate us according to pokemon type. Which means my first opponent is an eleven year old named Clarence trying to see just how high he can raise his nose as the ref starts the fight.

“Eat that bug, Vullaby!”

My Joltik looks back at me as if to ask if this kid is for real.

“Let's just start with electro webs.”

A chicken crossed with a vulture, still wearing parts of its massive eggshell, begins charging forward on its feet. The wings barely give it lift enough to hop over the first shot of webs.

Clarence smirks, “That’s right, with Vullaby’s wind, your webs stand no chance of landing.

Sure enough, little gusts of wind surround the bald chicken as it reaches our side of the field.”

“Fair enough,” But Tesla has been training hard, “Wild Charge.”

My dog sized, red tarantula flashes forward in a spray of red sparks, slamming into the miniature vulture within the blink of an eye.

Now that the bird is sent flying, “Electroweb.”

The brat can only watch as his pokemon falls before him, covered in webs and stunned unconscious.

A pair of twin girls step up behind him, “Move on Clarence, it’s our turn to challenge the creepy old guy.”

Excuse me?!

The boy returns his bird and sulks towards the stands.

“I’m not a creep!”

The two girls look at me, both with blue hair and blue eyes, the second one points at me, “Yes you are, we saw you using your ghost pokemon for the Dewford Challenge.”

Um, “That doesn’t make me a creep, and don’t point, you’re being rude.”

“You're not our dad!”

Thank god.

The instructor sighs, “Lisa, Alice, just get your pokemon out.”

“Plusle!” “Minun!”

Two yellow rabbits with red and blue features hop to the ready position.

Our ref turns to me, “Mr. Kurt, you may use a second Pokemon if you’d like.”

Sure, “Alright, You’re up Rusty.”

My unique little Sandshrew sits up and glares at the opponent's electric types.

As the battle starts, it’s a quick lesson in karma for the girls in the form of type mechanics. Neither of their little spark rabbits are able to harm my pokemon. My Joltik keeps their speed in check while Rusty rolls them down with Gyro Ball and Dig.

Both girls scowl at me when they return their defeated pokemon.

““Meanie!””

Whatever. Honestly, I know I shouldn’t let brats bother me but the attitude of these kids is really a drag.

I head over to the Pokemon Center equipment set up in what could be mistaken for a stadium concession window. Especially since there actually is a stadium concessions window right next to it.

While watching the ‘totally not a microwave’ heal my pokemon, Lacy walks up and puts her arms around me.

Resting her head against my back, “You’re looking a bit grumpy over here handsome.”

Sighing, “Ya, I dunno, maybe the brats were getting to me a bit.”

Her soft laugh just makes something in my chest flutter. Honestly it’s a bit embarrassing to feel like a teen with his first crush but I know how lucky I must be.

Ever the mood crasher, Calamity Jane makes a barfing sound, “This is a school you two. Kurt, let's switch up a bit. Leader Roxanne said you should try using one of the school pokemon.”

I catch her scowling in the direction of a kid with a shiny Spearow. Seems I’m not the only one feeling sour.

“Thinking about your old man’s Fearow?”

Jane just nods and moves on to putting her pokeball on the tray for the healing thingy.

Lacy flicks her in the ear causing the teen to yelp in surprise.

The Doc has a read on everyone today, “Just forget the bastard.”

Might have been easier while he was still locked up. A thought echoed in her rolling eyes.

Roxanne calls over from the field entrance, “Kurt, would you like to try out a fire type pokemon? I know you haven’t caught one yet.”

Lacy gives me a nudge and mouths, ‘I got this.’ Her head nodding towards Jane.

Collecting my pokeballs and heading back to the field, I join the gym leader at a pen for pokemon with a layer of heated lava rocks. All but one of the pokemon seem to have been checked out. A lone Torkoal is pouting in the corner.

“This won't do, isn’t this guy one of Hoenn’s signature fire pokemon?”

Roxanne smiles, “Yes, they are a great pokemon to have on a team. We may not see their evolved form here as much as in Alola but I think it is a shame the kids look down on them.”

“Well, let's fix that.” I knock on the pen rail, “Head up their fella, we’re gonna show these brats what you can do today.”

A message on my phone from Roxanne opens a file for the training the school has given this particular pokemon.

“My bad, you're a girl.” reading down the move list, “Holy crap, ya, let's go shut some kids up.”

The steaming tortoise actually looks fired up as she raises her chin and leads me to the arena.

A girl on the other side of the field is standing with her Growlith, “Are you serious Old Man?”

Roxanne takes the place of our ref, “Proper sportsmanship Miss Brynn.”

At least the third year student has the decency to look embarrassed, “Yes, Professor Roxanne.”

On the whistle blow we shout our commands.

“Howl!” “Smog.”

While the tiger striped hound lets out a howl, Torkoal releases a cloud of black smog covering this side of the field enough to conceal her exact location.

Brynn looks annoyed, “What kind of strategy is that?!”

“Um, the kind where I don’t charge in like an idiot.”

“Whatever.” the arrogant brat points at the smog cloud, “Let's burn away that cloud with ember!”

Growlith runs up to the edge of the blanket of smog and starts to spit small jets of fire into the cloud. While it’s firing blind I notice two things. First, this girl probably focuses more on training physical attacks as the ember is a bit weak initially. Second, the smog is clearly flammable as wherever the ember passes within the cloud, the flames expand violently.

Smirking, “Overheat.”

Just off center, a dim glow illuminates a portion of the cloud.

Roxanne shouts out, “Solrock, Protect!”

A thud that shakes my chest is all the warning before the entire smog cloud ignites in a pyroclastic flash of burning fury. The explosion stops before me as if on the other side of a window.

The dark cloud is evaporated as the Torkoal is proudly standing with waves of heat emanating from her shell. Growlith on the other hand looks severely burned and is struggling to stand while coughing, the burst of caustic smog did a number on the poor thing’s lungs.

Brynn doesn’t realize the extent of the damage, “Hmf that was impressive but my Growlith won’t be taken out by one fire move. The turtle is in the open now, use Fire Fang!”

Ya, not happening, “Heat Crash.”

Just as Torkoal starts a strange gallop forward Roxanne calls out, “Stop, Torkaol wins. Miss Brynn, recall your Growlith and get him to the Healing Booth immediately.”

“But Professor,”

“No miss Brynn, you failed to recognise a move combo for the damage it caused and left your pokemon on the field completely vulnerable. Kurt’s choice of follow up was perfect given your pokemon’s inability to dodge, your Growlith may have been critically injured. He’s already suffering severe pain due to the damage to his lungs.”

The poor dog has blisters forming on the snout and his eyes are sealed shut.

Roxanne turns to more of the students with fire type pokemon watching from the side, “Combination attacks are far more common in pokemon contests than rookie trainer battles but don’t think professional level trainers don’t use them to their full effect. Older Torkoal in the wild have been known to kill trainers with this very combination when defending entrances to their nesting grounds in the Valley of Steel.”

As the girl sulks off the field, Lacy rejoins me with a frown, “Kurt that was Haley’s daughter.”

Shit, Rustboro’s Police Chief, Haley Devon. I sigh and look across the other fields, trying to take my mind off that potential problem. Steven is using his Ferroseed like a battle top to terrorise a boy with a Bagon. Citro’s Salandit is outpacing another lad’s Grimer.

“She seemed reasonable enough, I'm sure it’ll be fine.”

My fiance pouts, “Yes but that doesn't mean I like seeing a girl I’ve babysat since she was in diapers being bullied.”

Roxanne interrupts, “Actually I think it was an important lesson. Plus it won't hurt some of these students to get knocked off their High Ponyta a bit Lacy. That’s one of the main points of making the students battle gym challengers. On that note,” Her attention shifts to me with a smirk, “I’m looking forward to our battle tomorrow Kurt, you've shown some cunning. We’ll see how that fares against a stone wall.”

Not every day a living doll threatens you with a rock, “I’m sure I’ll find my way around it.”

The rest of the afternoon passes with little surprises like Miss Pike Queen losing three matches in a row trying to prove something with her Dunsparce and Naomi’s Ralts finally blooming enough to be considered a Kirlia. Despite only having a minor grass typing, the psychic fairy sheds and blooms flower petals and leaves as it gains height. Jane’s Venipede had a couple wins before she attempted to let her Wimpod fight, it’s going to need some work.

Finally it's time for that dinner we all talked about.

The nicest restaurant in town is a brick walled paragon of charm, the sort of place that belongs in every travel magazine’s must visit list. Soft lights, smooth jazz from a live band, the pianist’s Persian is lounging atop the upright piano while a Meowth is swaying to the bass.

Naomi and Jane are trying to help the shy Citro hold a conversation with Brendan and the Pike Queen. Lacy is trying to find something on the menu I might like while Steven is telling me to try to teach my Joltik, Anchor Shot. Apparently, channeling steel type energy into String Shot just like Electro Web should make it work. He even has a TM he can send my way.

“While I’m sure the process will come more naturally as she continues her evolution into a Galvantuala,” the older gentleman carries on.

That's when trouble taps me on the shoulder. Arriving in the form of a shorter woman with a blonde mohawk, wearing a green trainer jacket and athletic shorts. Following at her hips is a Zorua, or is it a Zoroark now? The black fox pokemon is probably over three feet tall.

Vivienne already has a glass of wine in her hands, “Alright there Boss? How about we step over to the bar and you let me buy your pretty lady a drink.”

Jane happens to glance over and looks like a startled kitten when she recognises the woman.

Lacy pokes me, “Mind introducing me Kurt?”

“Of course,” I stand up and take Lacy’s hand to lead her from the group, “Why don’t we take Miss Vivienne up on her offer for a drink.” Looking back at the table. “We’ll be back in a couple minutes.”

Mr. Stone looks momentarily annoyed at having been interrupted, probably a rarity these years. Thankfully, Jane is there with the assist, thanking him once again for delivering her mother’s inheritance.

Viv takes Lacy’s arm despite the frown quickly forming on my fiance’s lips, “Doctor Cutter, we simply have so much to gossip about. You know, the first time I met my boss he was stark naked in a field and asked if I was interested in rolling in the hay?”

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