2.0

“Look out! Look out!

Under the bush!

Behind the trees!

Those short and green,

But very mean!

They swarm like wasps,

But hurt much more!”

- A song sang by an unknown minstrel in the taverns of Lua.

I had multiple disadvantages.

The most obvious were numbers, but my build was a largely AOE focused zone controller, I should be able to deal with such a problem easily.

The second disadvantage was my mana.

I simply didn’t have the capacity to quickly create a kill zone filled with Poison Sporages that could tank the entire force of the goblins. If I had time, say an hour, I could achieve this, but until then, I would be in a precarious state where I would have no mana to defend myself and only a half-completed net of Sporages.

Given the nature of Sporages, I would have to set up in a confined space where I could funnel all opponents into my kill zone, however, from my memory of the mall, such a location would also leave me without an escape route.

The third disadvantage was the mage goblin. It completely outranged me and had at least one party buff spell, given the nature of the encounter, it likely had more.

Thus my main win conditions were as followed,

One, successfully set up a large scale kill zone with my sporages, then lure the goblins into it.

Two, keep the goblin horde from massing into the larger force that can take me out. Slowly whittle away their numbers until I can take down the rest.

The former option was… risky. Constant patrols by goblin groups required me to be on the move or be quickly discovered and I would be left in a low mana state trying to set up the kill zone. It was the strategy that played by this build’s strengths.

It was high risk, high reward.

The latter I found to be the safer option, moving into guerilla warfare and silencing each group one by one, but it also required some of my build’s dump stats to work, that being high agility and stealth.

It was safer, but it didn’t play to my strengths.

Both options had their downsides, both options had their strengths.

In the end, I simply took out a gold coin, and flipped it.

Goblin scout with dagger scoured the dark tunnel. Silently enduring the foolish bickering off the two goblin fighters behind him.

“He’s mine!” Goblin fighter with spear yelled, to which goblin fighter with sword replied with, “No, he’s mine!”

Goblin scout with dagger shook his head. The big mushroom thing they were talking about has already killed... Goblin scout drew a blank, ‘More than three!’ he finally decided. Goblin scout wasn’t good at numbers, he was a scout. But more than three was probably more than their group. Probably.

Old goblin mage was the one who did the counting, he counted the goblins into smaller packs to split up and find the big mushroom. He also told them to run and find more goblins if they ever meet the big mushroom instead of fighting like goblin fighters were suggesting. Goblin scout was inclined to agree with old goblin mage, he can count after all!

Finally, one of the goblin fighters had the bright idea of yelling out, “Fine! I’ll fight you over him!” he yelled as he drew his sword.

Goblin scout wanted to let them go through with it, but a moment of epiphany made him realise. If one goblin fighter killed the other goblin fighter, then they’ll have fewer goblin fighters! That can’t happen! Old goblin mage specifically said to bury the big mushroom in many goblins.

So, goblin scout turned around and yelled, “Stop fighting each other goblin fighters!”

Goblin fighter snarled at him, before pointing at goblin fighter with his spear, “He started it!”

Goblin scout felt a headache coming, why were they both named goblin fighter!? How was he supposed to keep track of more than one goblin fighter? What if he wanted to insult specifically one goblin fighter? Or specifically one goblin fighter with spear? If only they were named different things. Maybe he should shorten it, like goblin fighter with spear becomes just spear-

Aberrant behaviour detected

Rolling back thought process kernel

Goblin scout snarled back at the goblin fighter with spear, “Whoever hurts big mushroom last will kill him!”

Both goblin fighters stared back at him uncomprehending before a metaphorical light bulb went off in both their heads. “Goblin scout is smart! Whoever kills big mushroom will get to kill big mushroom!”

Goblin scout puffed out his chest pridefully, he was smart! “Come on! Find the big mushroom!” he yelled.

“Look! There are mushrooms right there!” Goblin fighter with sword pointed, to a branching tunnel.

Goblin scout looked, there was!

“Let’s get the big mushroom!” Goblin fighter with spear yelled as he ran forward.

Goblin scout threw out a hand, “Wait!” causing goblin fighter to pause. “Old goblin mage said that small glowy mushrooms have magic! We need to make sure we go around them.”

Magic was scary and rare, goblin scout can literally count how many magic users he knew of!

“Old goblin mage and goblin scout is smart!” goblin fighter yelled as he took a circular path around the smaller mushrooms.

Goblin scout and other goblin fighter followed him.

‘Weird, why are all the mushrooms on one side of the tunnel-’

A glob of burning liquid hit the back of goblin scouts head, and he thought no more.

‘Fourteen,’ I thought as I finished the last goblin.

That made five groups so far, with only one goblin escaping from the first group. That goblin has probably already reported back to the main goblin horde. I needed to change up strategies soon.

Currently, I was luring in goblin groups with cheap Light Sporage shrooms, having them clustered to one side of the corridor so that I could funnel the goblins into myself when they tried to avoid it. I glowed pretty softly so a few bushes easily concealed me.

After the first group, I made sure to first take out the goblin that looked like the leader, they were the most likely to run away after all. The remainder followed pretty easily, usually charging into easy hitting range. The fourth group had a dagger goblin that ran after landing one hit, however, I managed to finish it off at range with Acid Spit. Which led me to the discovery that the light ball things in my head won’t take a knife for me. Freeloaders.

I started picking the Light shrooms one by one, the goblin bodies weren’t despawning and I couldn’t be bothered hiding them. But I should at least make them harder to find by getting rid of the light.

Light Spores was a spell that only really shined with Grow Sporage. ‘Heh, shined.’ Without Sporage they were just a small puff of light that lingered for a moment. However, with it, they became actual portable glow sticks!

Storing the light shrooms in my bag, I began moving to the next location.

“No no no, don’t go into the sun!” Hendrix yelled as he threw nuts at a screen, “Freaking noobs,” he muttered as he grabbed another fistful of nuts.

Hendrix continued chewing on nuts, even when another presence entered the room.

“It appears,” Eve said, “that you did not follow the Tutorial guidelines that I prepared.”

“He’ll be fine. It’s not like a small setback like this will scare him from the game.” He gestured to a screen, showing Declan collapsing into a wall as the Sun Sickness took effect, “Look he’s doing fine.”

“That is not the issue,” Eve calmly replied, “The issue is your blatant disregard of rules and expectations.”

Hendrix snorted and met her gaze, “Come on ma, I know that you know that I know that you knew I was planning to do this and since you didn’t do anything about it earlier, it means you’re ok with this. So do you want to sit down and talk about why you’re here?”

Eve maintained the stare off for a moment before sighing, “I told you to stop calling me ma,” she said as she plopped down on a mushroom stool.

“Oh yeah, you’re still doing that little girl thing,” Hendrix said in between mouthfuls of snacks. “Want some?”

“No, I have my own,” Eve replied as she pulled out a bag from nowhere. “Popcorn?”

“Nah, too much butter.” he rejected, “Indiri or Earth?” Hendrix asked.

“Earth, though a merchant from Var’Ah’Bwek recently managed to make something similar, it’s a bit spicy compared to the Earth version,” Eve answered.

“Ah the Great Canal,” Hendrix easily translated, “How is that hellhole?”

“Still commercialising devil summoning I’m afraid,” Eve said as she plopped popcorn into her mouth.

Hendrix shook his head, “Gotta admire their balls though, who summons an Arch-Devil to do their taxes? The normal reaction would be to sell their soul to overthrow the local power.”

“The type of person who studied language but not mathematics or governance,” Eve dryly replied, “and do you really think an Arch-Devil is enough to control that pit of snakes?”

Hendrix chuckled, “No I do not.”

Eve raised an eyebrow at the screen, on it Declan was running away with a staff in hand, “The trapping staff from one of the forest tribes?”

Hendrix nodded, “Brambleback. Goblin magics are a bit crude but they do get the job done,”

“You prepared a lesser version, normal willow wood instead of woven petrified wood, without the engravings either.” She paused, “No Fae?”

“Of course not!” Hendrix shuddered, “Could you imagine if I gave someone a fairy familiar at level one?”

Eve nodded, “That would mess up the initial power distribution.”

“I’m more afraid of what would happen to the poor sod the fairy was contracted too,” Hendrix replied, idly rubbing a spot on his bum that suddenly felt sore.

“I assure you that the curse has already been lifted.”

“I still dream of those tiny devils coming after me,” Hendrix replied in a haunted tone.

“You don’t need to sleep,” Eve coldly replied. “Wisps?” she curiously asked.

Hendrix nodded, “Way easier to handle than Fae. You only need to add an element of mana gathering to keep them from dissipating, that’s why I used a spring leaf instead of-”

He paused as he saw Declan on-screen smash the staff into a goblin’s head, breaking the cage holding the Wisps and the subtle spell he had painstakingly designed into it.

Hendrix’s mouth fell open in shock, “You barely had it for 2 minutes- I can fix this I swear,” he finished as he started rapidly tapping a keyboard in the air.

“OK!” He yelled, a bit breathless, “His cap is a similarly mana dense environment like the staff so I used the wisps instinctive desire to contrive a reason to move there. They may be slightly smarter than your usual wisps but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Popcorn?” Eve offered again, mentally cleaning up the code Hendrix rushed.

Hendrix sighed, “Sure,” he said as he grabbed a fistful. “How are the Bramblebacks by the way?”

“At war with the elves, I’m afraid,”

“Again!?” he replied incredulously.

Eve shook her head, “They never finished in the first place.”

“Damn I didn’t think the goblin tribes can work together for this long,” Hendrix replied, genuinely impressed.

“Neither did I, the chance of the coalition going on for this long was only 13.4988%,” Eve replied.

Hendrix raised an eyebrow but did not comment further.

They fell into a comfortable silence, both watching Declan’s fight on a holographic screen. Hendrix nodded approvingly, Declan had moved to guerrilla tactics now, taking small goblin groups and avoiding the main horde. Though that only caused the remaining goblins to start going around in increasingly larger groups. Which he was unable to really fight. Perhaps a hundred goblins was a bit too high…

“Sooo…” Hendrix awkwardly began.

“You were wondering why I’m here?” Eve finished for him.

“Yep,”

“You took 0.03 seconds longer than I expected to open up that subject again.” Eve evenly replied.

Hendrix nervously laughed, it was still unnerving no matter how long he’s been exposed to it.

“To put it simply, I’m here for therapeutic reasons,” Eve flatly said, gesturing to the screen showing Declan currently getting stabbed.

“Hoh?” Hendrix raised an eyebrow, easily putting two and two together, “And what did he do to piss you off?”

“He tried to use father against me,” Eve replied, looking slightly miffed.

Hendrix fell silent, Eve’s creator was a no go subject for them. Hendrix like many others was created after his death so they never had the chance to meet him, however, most of them have met the program made in his image. The ‘other’ Giles, which Eve had never once called Father.

Hendrix could see why, prolonged interaction with that Giles made it perfectly clear that he was incomplete. The way he acted perfectly normal at one moment then completely froze because he didn’t know how to pour a cup of coffee.

“So that’s why I’m his guide…” Hendrix muttered, “You wanted to see him suffer a bit.”

Eve nodded, “That and the fact that his build would have a lot of spell slots from the get-go, so it would require a higher challenge. Which goblin preset did you use for this tutorial by the way? I can’t seem to match them with one of the existing ones.”

“I’m using a mixture of the base goblin preset with techniques combed from various goblins on the Eastern Stretch, and one with the mixed magic capability of shamans from several different tribes in the Hearth Forests. Normal intelligence limiting programs for all Gaia mobs are in effect of course.”

“Vicious,” she flatly replied. “I approve.”

“Indeed…” Hendrix muttered, “How many do you think he’ll get?”

Eve seemed to consider it for a moment, “76.53% chance of him getting less than fifty goblin kills, 82.49% chance of being more than thirty. 26.37% chance of him getting the mage.”

Hendrix nodded, quickly adding a new bet to the pool. ‘Less than fifty’ he put down, because if the Daves can have multiple bets then so can he damn it!

“That’s not how it works,” Eve muttered beside him.

Hendrix threw another handful of nuts in his mouth and started chewing loudly, pretending to ignore her.

Eve decided to return the sentiment. Both of them were loudly chewing on snacks as they watched Declan fight. It wasn’t like they needed their avatars’ ears to hear what’s going on after all.

After a while, Hendrix stood up and dusted off some crumbs, “I suppose it’s time for me to do my job.”

“Have fun,” Eve said in her trademark completely flat voice.

Hendrix grinned, “Always ma,”

On-screen, Declan was completely surrounded by goblins.