As Yora strode through the hall, her quick steps fading into the distance, Red spun on her heel and walked back into her room. She would have closed the door on Sláine except for the toe of her boot shoved into the rapidly closing gap. Hand still on the knob, the mask angled towards her, and she got the distinct impression that Red was annoyed long before she detected the actual irritation in her tone.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Following you,” she replied, which to her credit wasn’t the shittiest thing she could have possibly said. It was pretty close though.

Red pointed past her shoulder, indicating the hallway behind her, then flicked her fingertips in a motion of dismissal. “You wait out here. I meant it when I said I was busy.”

“Busy with what?”

“Work!”

“That’s very specific,” she replied flatly before attempting to push past. She a shorter woman, more slender, and certainly not as strong. Still, she tried, blocking Sláine’s body with hers and putting both hands on her shoulders with a grunt. “Look, I couldn’t care less about this mentorship system, but I do intend to play along on the surface. The faster we go through the motions, the faster we can mutually get on with our lives, so can you at least make it look like you’re doing what Yora asked? Please?”

“Oh, wonderful! That means we’re on the same page, but that doesn’t mean I have to let you into my room. Shitty-Grin McGee isn't not going to come back around for awhile; go find some time to kill! I’m sure the big tough [ Berserker ] doesn’t need little old Red to hold her hand.”

She had to admit, Sláine was really curious about why she was putting up such a fuss. Peering over her, she tried to get a look into the sliver of the room that was visible from the open crack. It was… gloomy, with curtains drawn over the windows and no other source of light beyond the series of glowing crystal cubes lined against the far wall. She had a hard time looking away from them since they pulsated in uneven - yet vaguely rhythmic - bursts of light, though there was little chance to study them before Red knocked her forward with a quick burst of strength and slammed the door shut behind the both of them.

…Well, that wasn’t suspicious at all. Sláine hadn’t gotten a chance to check her stats - wait, she hadn’t gotten the chance to check her stats, dammit - but she could only guess she was some sort of magic user. They often had a tendency of being finicky.

“Are you hiding something?”

Red snorted. “Why do I have to be hiding something? Maybe it’s just messy and I don’t want you seeing my underwear all over the floor. Maybe I’ve got a weird kinky hobby. Maybe I’m just a normal person who likes their normal privacy and doesn’t appreciate some stranger barging in. Ever think about that, cupcake?”

It was strange, not being able to see her expression and having to interpret everything by her tone, particularly since her voice had this bizarre, lackadaisical lilt to it that made it impossible to tell whether she hated everyone and wanted them to die or was enjoying amusing herself at their expense. Or both? It might honestly be both, an odd cocktail of emotion changing in radical increments from moment to moment.

How exhausting.

“I’m not going to just stand out here, and if I simply wander it might get back to Yora which would be a bother for the both of us.”

Surprisingly enough, Red seemed to cave. At least, to an extent. “Fine. Okay. What if I give you something to do?”

“…What did you have in mind?”

“Okay, so we talked about [ System Commands ] and I mentioned [ Inspection ] - wait, was that me, or was that Yora? Did either of us even mention it? Who cares. You’ve heard that term, right? [ Inspect ]?”

“Yes,” she said, waiting for her to get to the point.

Red made a wide gesture with her hands that encompassed most of the hall. “[ Inspect ] is a basic [ System Command ] that, in essence, lets you ring up your Protocol and ask it what the fuck you’re looking at. In the cases of things like doors and windows, this might seem pretty dumb, but when you’re out in the field it can be the difference between a new trophy for your room or getting your guts creatively arranged over the floor. Got it?”

“…How… exactly does it know this information?”

“Do you actually care?”

“Helps tell me if its biased or not.”

“Fair enough. Half of it’s crowd-sourced from everyone in the network - i.e. us - half of it is gotten from all the weird crap monsters drop that Protocols wanna eat, and the final half is a bunch of god-bits bullshit. I dunno. Don’t ask how religion works. It gets really weird.”

Sláine decided not to comment on the math. It was obviously her idea of a joke. “That sounds useful, actually - like having a personal scout. How do I do it?”

“Well, that’s the thing, it’s just a feeling that you have to get. There’s a ton of fancy talk for it, but for most people who were born here, it’s hard-wired instinct. That is, unfortunately, not the case for you.” Red sighed, and then rubbed at the space where her nose would be if she wasn’t wearing a mask. “Basically, just look at something - anything, then try staring at it real hard. When you feel a tingle in the back of your brain, grab onto it and think about how much you actually care about knowing this shit. Wambo-jambo, the Protocol will do its thing and spit out a description. Got it?”

“Um,” Sláine said, because she didn’t get it at all, but Red gave her little chance to voice her concerns.

“Great! Now go practice that for awhile and leave me alone.” Red opened the door a crack, and before Sláine could properly react, she slipped through the narrow hole and locked it with a decisive click.

Staring at the closed door, Sláine wrinkled her nose and really, really appreciated how deeply she loathed Red right now. Someone who was keen on rules would have been… annoying to work with, but she could admire that sort of dedication to a code. At the very least it would have been predictable, and she liked predictability quite a bit. It was, perhaps, her favorite personality trait in another being, which was why half of her was considering turning around and going back to Amelia to ask her to take over instead. Meticulous people, responsible people, polite people - their reactions were so easy to anticipate. Sláine could just go along on auto-pilot, nodding along until someone asked her to hit something.

She could already tell she’d have to think with Red, which wasn’t really high on her list of priorities at the moment.

Still, she’d given Sláine something to do, and while part of her wondered if Red was sending her on some insane wild goose chase just for a laugh, the term [ Inspection ] was familiar so it probably wasn’t complete bullshit. Besides. Sláine didn’t need a mentor. Anything she needed to accomplish, she could do alone, so the half-assed nature of her explanation didn’t really matter.

If she mastered it, maybe she could prove to Yora she didn’t need babysitting, and she wouldn’t have to talk to Red again.

Ever, ever again.

>> Attempt to understand weird bullshit