《The Long and Exciting Life of Kreet the Kobold (Life 1)》Wench
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Kreet settled into her new life at the Wicked Serpent quickly enough. It didn’t take her too long to learn most of the drinks and food on the menu, and she had fashioned three identical and quite interesting uniforms for herself as well, using the other girls’ outfits as a model. If her chest didn’t exactly fill out the blouse that topped the bodice, it at least gave the impression of more underneath than was really there. Cherry and the other girls were delighted with it, and Red even gave her approval. It didn’t take long to figure out the relationship between Cherry and Red, but they took ribbing from the younger girls well and Kreet began to feel comfortable with her new family.
As for the customers, she was the darling of the tavern. It had taken her some time to get used to them. There was always someone who got a little too touchy-feely as the night wore on, but they soon learned her tail made a pretty stinging whip and she wasn’t afraid to use it. She also was surprised to learn that Nick only rarely had to come out from behind the bar to wield his muscle. Both Red and Cherry were quite capable of handling all but the most aggressive drunks. Of course there were occasional fights that broke out, and Kreet quickly learned why the furniture, mugs and cups were built so sturdy. It was the girls’ belief that when fights broke out among the patrons, as long as the steel stayed sheathed it was just as well to let it play out inside. That took some getting used to for Kreet.
“You have to understand,” Cherry was saying after they’d closed the tavern and were sweeping up the mess, “that a lot of the fight is just the way they let out their aggression. I’d much rather they do that here, where we can intervene if it gets too serious, than outside where they’re likely to pull out weapons.”
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“And,” Ashley put in, “there’s usually some relative or neighbor here to keep things under control anyway.”
“But… that one guy lost a tooth!,” Kreet said while mopping the floor. She seemed to get most of the floor-work, she noticed. Cherry had said it was because she was the closest. She liked Cherry.
“Ah, it happens,” Ashley said, pounding a mug back into shape with a small hammer. They’ve got more.“
Wynda spoke up from the lavatory, "Ty doesn’t have that many more! Goddammit Cherry, why don’t we just install a giant funnel in here! I swear there’s more piss outside the hole than in it!”
“Hey, I already told you the best solution,” Kreet pointed out. “And it would work too! Just install some holes in the door with tubes to direct it to the cesspool! Then they can just stick their things in, get the job done, and no mess. Clean, practical… what’s the problem with that?”
Wynda stepped out of the lavatory carrying a bucket to the door. “Sounds like a good idea to me!”
“Never work,” Nick said. “Guys don’t like to whip them out in public.”
“BULLSHIT!” Cherry scoffed. “I see more dicks every night than that lavatory does!”
“Well… they don’t like other guys to see ‘em I guess.”
“Why not?” Kreet asked.
The three girls looked at each other and began laughing.
Red managed to recover first. “They all are convinced they have the smallest one in the room!”
“Oh! I see.”
The door reopened and Wynda came back in, her bucket full of fresh water and returned to her labors in the lavatory.
“A funnel, I say,” she repeated. “Big… BIG funnel. Oh fuck! I swear to Pelor somebody hit the ceiling! Oh, sorry Gator.”
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Kreet laughed, “Pelor isn’t offended by anything like that.”
Cherry and Red went to the lavatory and looked up.
“Impressive!” Cherry said.
“A bladder of heroic proportions!” Wynda laughed, but Red stood on the bench and reached up to touch the ceiling, then sniffed her finger.
“Not piss. Water. Nick, the roof’s got a leak.”
“Oh crap. Okay, I’ll get it in the morning,” Nick called.
“No, you’ll get it now. Take Gator. She can hold the lamp. If you wait till morning it’s only going to get worse and the floor will be flooded.”
“As if it’s not already flooded with piss,” Wynda complained.
Nick sighed and motioned for Kreet to follow. They went in the back room, got some tools, and went up to patch the roof.
“So, Gator. What do you think? Is life at the tavern everything you expected?”
Kreet held the lamp while the bartender began pounding nails. “Nothing like what I expected actually. But the girls are nice.”
Nick nodded, not looking up from his work. “They are.”
“You like working here?”
“Sure! Where else can I hang out all night, beat up drunks, look at beautiful women and get paid for it? What’s not to like?”
“I suppose when you put it that way, you’ve got a point.”
Nick packed up his tools and started down the ladder. “The way I figure it, Gator, all jobs are shit. But they’ve all got their plus sides too. There’s a hell of a lot worse out there than pouring drinks and rousting drunks.”
“There is,” Kreet agreed as she followed him down the ladder.
“Um… Gator,” he said as she hopped off onto the ground.
“Hmm?”
“There’s one thing, about your uniform…”
“I know, I know. Jeeze, sorry to flash you. I’m still working on how to get the tail hole to work with a skirt. It’s not easy! Robes are so much simpler.”
“Okay, but till then I suggest no more dancing on the table for you. No wonder those guys were all crowded around!”
Kreet wasn’t able to blush, but her eyes did glow a bit pink as they went back inside. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that.“
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