《The Island Tastes Like Chicken (A LitRPG)》13 - Allies
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I was running.
A rock sailed overhead and snapped a tree in two. I changed course to avoid the hail of branches and pine needles, and slipped up a natural path that hooked around to a low cliff. After setting Gnome down and flattening onto my belly I heard the quaking sprint of the wife-troll below. She came to a stop where her boulder had landed and looked around, sniffing the air. She smashed a tree with a mossy fist.
“Where you go, human?” She roared. Her ragged breaths had the weight of a diesel engine from the nineties. “Y’shot yer sticks at me!” The troll’s speech capabilities rivalled that of my four year old niece, but I feared her all the same.
I waited up on the small cliff for a minute or so before she huffed and stormed off back the way she came. I sighed heavily.
“Oh what is that crude saying used by you sapiens?” Gnome asked. By the sound of it he had been holding his breath, too. “I think I’ve just shit myself.”
Huh. He actually got one right. “I still haven’t figured out how your eating works. Let’s save the other end for another time.” I turned to him, still on my stomach. “Did you see the other people?”
“Is that what that was?” He wondered. “There was a twang of the arcane, no doubt.”
“They came out of nowhere,” I said. Almost as if they had been waiting. I rested my forehead on the ground. If not for them Gnome would be on his way to that dusty cavern and my skull would be the next macabre fixture on the wall. And what would I say to the grand deity of this freak show when standing at the pearly gates? “Sorry that troll turned my bones into soup, I really didn’t see it coming”? Large Bird gave me a surge of confidence after our duel ended in my favour, sure, but even that was a day long struggle of trying to live. Trying not to starve. Trying to find a way to get to that stone.
I couldn’t take on trolls. Not now. I needed more powers—stronger ones. I needed more constitution, more favour, more weapons, more, more, more.
What was I thinking?
“You were right,” I said.
“Which part? I often am and tend to lose track,” said the wise old box.
I let the cheekiness slide this time. He deserved it. “I need allies.”
I looked back in the direction of the cave. The sounds of battle were either too far away to be heard or had subsided, which meant my saviours were either dead or they were smart enough to run away. I was betting on the latter.
I checked my vitals before grabbing Gnome and sneaking back towards the cave: vitality was at sixty percent and dropping half a percent per minute because of the poison, and my sanity was at eighty. I was surprised I didn’t suffer a minor break, but I chalked that up to my brazen stupidity.
I crept along in the underbrush. The darkvision proved vital in securing the safest route through the densely packed woodland. It was astonishing how much the biome had shifted from the beach. From tropical sands and shady palms with light-up coconuts to winter firs, stout oaks, and overturned logs where multicoloured mushroom clusters staked their home. A deer darted by—but this one had real horns and sported the thick coat of a wooly mammoth.
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I ran and ran. I knew I must be heading in the right direction as I was moving downhill, but I couldn’t see the cave if I peered to my left. It might be—
“Stop right there!” The girl shifted out from behind a tree with her bowstring already drawn. She swiped her finger over the arrowhead, lighting it with blue flame. “Are you the fucking guy who attacked the troll?”
Player Met
- Jade Tran -
- Hunter -
- Party: The Completionists -
It’s a strange thing when someone with a weapon pointed at you asks a question. The assumption was that the answer would dictate whether or not you could walk away from the encounter, but sometimes it wasn’t clear what the correct answer actually was.
I could have lied, and said that no, I was just sneaking around and heard the commotion and decided to investigate. That seemed safe. But the hardened eyes of my interrogator suggested she would cut through the bullshit—and so would her arrow.
I could have told the truth. Yes, I was that fucking guy who attacked the troll while she waited for her husband to come back with dinner. But sometimes the truth hurts, and arrows hurt even more.
But I didn’t say either of those things because the little fucker under my arm did the talking for me.
“Blue flame! Colour me depressed!” Gnome Chompsky exclaimed. “You seem to have the magical capabilities to get beyond these mountains here, why don’t I abandon my current master for you?”
Jade’s eyes fell to him, and the distraction caused her to lower her bow. Somehow he did it. The little bastard disarmed the situation without even trying.
“Is that…?” Jade began.
“A talking chest? Yeah. His name is Gnome,” I said, skipping any semblance of an explanation. “I’m Ben by the way.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Right. Prompts.
A groan from behind a tree immediately swivelled Jade’s attention away. She moved to the source of the sound and fell to a knee. I shifted closer for a better look, making pains not to move too quickly or aggressively, and spotted a man sitting against a tree. He was thin, dark hair stuck to his forehead. He was grabbing his face and slowly rocking back and forth. He was the one who was controlling the vine.
Jade produced a bulbous glass from a pouch, popped the cork, and tipped it to the man’s lips. He fought her, but relented when she softly urged him to drink. It looked a lot like the healing potion I’d taken before, except the liquid inside was lighter, almost a pale purple.
“He’s had a major break,” said Jade, noticing me watching. There was a hint of accusation in her voice. “We weren’t ready to fight those trolls.”
So they did come to my aid. “I’m sorry, I had no idea anyone was staking them out.”
The man downed the potion, but didn’t seem immediately affected by it. Jade pocketed the empty glass and put a hand to his cheek. She smiled at him before turning to me and sizing me up. “Looks like you got bit pretty bad.”
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I gave myself a quick once over, and only when she’d pointed it out did the sting marks begin to itch. I hadn’t felt the overwhelming urge to scratch that bad since I had chickenpox when I was four. “Yeah, I didn’t count on the she-troll having a fucking school of wasps stuck to her head,” I said.
Jade laughed and brushed a dark strand out of her eye. “That was your fault,” she said, the hard edge quickly returning. “Patrick can fix that for you.”
As if remembering where he was, Patrick mumbled something and looked around. Jade helped him stand and, when he did, his arms were shaking. His eyes darted everywhere except towards me.
“Over there,” Jade said, guiding Patrick by the arm.
He wasn’t blind, but Patrick was squinting, and felt the space in front of him before he took a step. Once his fingers brushed against me, he gripped my arm. My shoulder. My face. “This is the guy?” He asked, feeling me up. The depth of his voice took me by surprise for someone so gaunt.
Player Met
- Patrick Dougherty -
- Gatherer -
- Party: The Completionists -
“This is the guy,” I confirmed.
His palm cracked against my cheek. A momentary flash of anger sent heat radiating across my skin. I might’ve struck back if not for the goofy smile on Patrick’s face. “A lot less painful than getting your head smashed in by a troll, isn’t it?” He asked, laughing. The fear in him seemed to be alleviating.
“I’m just glad you didn’t go for the stones,” I said, begrudgingly accepting the disciplinary sucker slap.
“Maybe another time. Hold still for a moment.” His gravelly voice resembled that of a kindly grandfather, although he looked to be about half the age. He placed his palm against my chest and lowered his head. Around his fingers a yellow light flickered momentarily before sustaining. A cool pulse rippled through my body. Once. Twice. The feel of it was like stepping into a pool several degrees too cold. It was refreshing, but striking.
Slowly the itching faded, and within moments a prompt signaled the end of the poisoned status. Patrick removed his hand and squatted on the ground.
“Okay Jade, I’m all tapped out,” he said. “The major break’s gone, at least.”
“I bet,” she said and moved to help him stand again. “Back to camp, bud?”
Patrick nodded. The two of them started to move away.
Allies. I need Allies. “You know,” I called after them. They turned. “Three’s better than two, don’t you think?”
The two of them looked at each other, and without saying a single word seemed to come to an agreement. “How long you been here?” Jade asked.
I shrugged. “Couple days.”
“So your stats aren’t very good, huh?”
I scoffed. “Constitution’s level two.”
“Yeah? Mine’s five.” She nodded to Patrick. “His is three and his fortitude is a four. Thing is, party max is five before you start taking penalties. We’ve got two more back at camp. See what I’m getting at?”
Well shit. The realization that I didn’t have much to offer beyond that hit like an older kid stomping on your recently completed sandcastle. I was still alive, and that was something, but it had only been two days. If Jade and Patrick were several levels higher than me in both of their casting stats, it meant they must’ve been here at least a week. Maybe a lot longer than that.
Gnome shifted under my arm. “Say something,” he whispered. “Convince them.”
Convince them how? I gulped.
“You know what I did before all this?” I began. “I worked for a bank. Yeah. I can count real good, and I know how to smile and talk to people and make them like me, but I’ve got shit I can take from that to apply here. I’m not a very good marksman. I can barely prepare an animal to cook. If I can’t see the sun I have to think really hard about which way is north, and sometimes my niece kicks my ass in Mario Kart.”
That drew a laugh from Jade.
“But on my first day here, I killed Big Bird. Twice. At the same time. My constitution level at the time? One. I had the noxious gas ability, some rope, and a couple sticks I sharpened. On my second day I found this whiny little bitch,” I gave an affectionate tap on what I assumed was Gnome’s rear. “And now I know a hell of a lot about this island. So yeah, I’m not useful for a lot of things. But I learn. I learn fast. I think on the spot. And I don’t give up. Ever. So I say again, three’s better than two, don’t you think?”
My words snared them this time. Patrick was smiling. “Will you convince him, or should I?” He asked Jade.
She shook her head. “All three of us will need to do that.”
It wasn’t me they were talking about, clearly. “Convince who?” I interjected.
“Our party leader. He’s a bit of a… well,” she looked to Patrick for direction. He seemed unwilling to give any. “… he’s serious.”
“Very cryptic,” I said.
“He’s a power gamer,” Patrick elucidated. “Look at our party name. We’ve had our fifth spot open for a while not because we haven’t run into anyone else, but because if you want in, it isn’t really up to us. You’ve gotta convince him.”
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