The rest of the climb up the slope was punctuated by Gnome’s incessant battery of questions. It was his turn, I supposed, but as we arrived at the top of the bluffs I began to wonder if I had made a terrible mistake.

“Where are you from? Are there others like myself in your world? Yes? Might I meet this Alexa one day?” His questions had begun innocuous enough, but quickly devolved into a string of absurdities.

“Is it true sapiens actually penetrate each other’s orifices? And this is pleasurable?” (Yes. Usually). “Have you ever considered that when throwing an item in the trash, you may be committing murder? Did you ever ask that aluminum can how she felt about it?” (Never crossed my mind. I did and I killed her anyway). “What is the purpose of a brain, anyway? I don’t have one and I get around just fine!”

“Shhh!” I said, and lowered my voice to a whisper in the hopes he would follow. “There used to be a giant bird up here. There’s probably a nest hanging around somewhere.”

There were few trees growing on the rock-smattered bluffs, each one having grown with a slant against the wind coming off the ocean, as if perpetually resisting the pull of a tornado. Seeing the water was instantly calming. Flecks of sun jumped across the waves like water spiders that had swallowed fireflies. I still couldn’t spot any land or boats, but after Gnome explained to me the separation of realities, I squinted hard to look for some kind of layer between worlds. I didn’t see anything.

Gnome made a sound of disgust. “Fish relieve themselves in that, you know,” he said.

“Has anyone relieved themselves in you?”

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

I looked back over the island, but the wall of trees prevented me from seeing anything other than the tops of mountains in the distance. A halo of dark clouds crowned their peaks in contrast to the clear skies above the ocean. A view. They mentioned a view. Further down the bluffs was the same, if not worse. More trees and less rock.

Looking around, I noticed if I had any skill in bouldering at all I could climb to the top of a set of them along the cliff edge. Yeah.

I got out my rope and tied one end to a sturdy trunk growing out of the ground, and the other end around my waist. As I did, Gnome rambled on.

“Your kind are actually quite rude, now that you mention it. They see a magical talking box and they must experiment, mustn’t they? For science, they’d say. Science! And before I have a moment of protestation their trousers are down and—what are you doing?”

I grunted as I pulled the harness tight. “Getting a view,” I said. “Wait here.”

“If you break yourself on those sharp rocks below I shall be without a companion,” he warned.

I hauled myself onto the lowest stone I could reasonably climb, seeing a taller one within reach, I crossed over to it, sliding my foot into a narrow recess and fitting my fingers into the grooves around the boulder. Looking down my left side I spotted the sharp looking rocks Gnome was talking about. I felt a little dizzy.

There was no way to climb directly up from where I was; I had to skirt around the side, over the edge of the bluffs, to find another place for my fingers. Slowly I slid, moving one foot from one recess to another, only my toes able to fit against the stone.

“Will you hurry up already? There is much for you to see,” Gnome was saying. I ignored him. I was afraid the simple act of talking would cause me to slip.

Slow. Slow… While I moved my left arm I kept the rest of my body completely still. Then it was my left leg. Right leg. Right arm. The wind tugged at my cloak. Below the waves crashing against those jagged rocks gave me the impression they were licking their lips at me. Stop looking down.

Okay, repeat the process. Left arm…

It happened in an instant.

Something moved under my grasp. The thing sprouted legs and lifted itself away from the stone. Its shell looked exactly like the rock, and I had disturbed its resting place. Dozens, hundreds of tiny little pebble spiders skittered out from beneath it. I pulled away. My foot slipped free, and I fell, peeling the rock spider off the stone.

Creature Discovered

- Stonecrawler -

Challenge: 1

Remember those crabs from Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah… we turned them into spiders.

The rope snapped taut, slamming me against the cliff. A sharp root pierced my leg.

“Fuck!” I yelled. Don’t look down. Down look down. I looked down. Beads of red trickled down my pants and dripped onto the rocks far below. They had a taste and wanted more.

Status Received

- Minor Break -

Your sanity is decreasing at a rate of 0.5%/minute.

The bleeding status alerted me to the obvious and another pop-up notified me my endurance was too depleted to resist infection. So that’s what that stat is for.

“When were you thinking of quitting this benfoolery and making your way up here?” Gnome’s voice sounded far away. Ten feet of cliff lay between us, cut through with thirty miles per hour wind. I searched for someplace to grab ahold of and noticed my hands were shaking.

Come on, Ben.

Gradually the wind reversed, coming instead from the island. It was warm. Sounds carried with it. Music. I looked towards the mountain and heard the lyrics. It was faint, but unmistakeable.

If you like Piña Coladas…

My body loosened and the shaking subsided. I almost felt like smiling. As quickly as it had come, the wind and music died, and everything was still for a moment before the breeze carried off the ocean again.

Status Removed

- Minor Break -

You are no longer losing sanity.

What the hell was that?

I stepped on the vicious root that had attacked me, and used it to push myself up to rocks I could grab hold of. Using the rope as support I dragged myself up along the cliff.

When I finally reached the top of the rock, I collapsed to catch my breath, and looked out over the island.

Whoa.

It was big.

Down the slope a blanket of trees sprawled for miles, fraying nearer the mountains where the terrain took on a more rugged and uneven texture. The gradient of flora was striking, with the flatter topped palms giving way to darker pines further from the coast, and a smattering of massive trees standing like giants above the rest. Even from this distance I could see the strange lights that hung off their leaves, and the turquoise veins running down their branches.

Waterfalls and rivers bled from the spine of mountains, cutting through ravines, gullies, valleys, snaking around promontories and sloping hills, occasionally converging into lakes and splitting off again to spill into the ocean.

Ancient ruins stood like vine wrapped stalagmites, barely poking out of the land that was gradually reclaiming them over eons. More of them stood on the side of the mountains, or up near the peaks. A flock of birds scattered from one of the large trees, circling in the sky, all of them bursting into blue flame at once and scattering. I noticed my heartbeat, and thought again of the first time I’d seen the anchor. The drums.

Thrum… thrum… thrum…

Achievement Unlocked

- Get a view -

The world looks different from high above, don’t it? Now that you have a mental map, you’re ready to Lewis and Clark this shit.

Reward

- Favour +1 (5) -

“Quite a view, isn’t it?” Gnome said from below.

“Yeah.” I pointed to the mountains. “So that’s where we go?”

“In time. There is a reason so few survive to stage two, as you call it.”

“As they call it.”

“The monsters among and within the mountains are fierce, and the dangers are plenty,” Gnome went on. “You will need allies. Other sapiens such as yourself.”

I exhaled deeply. Other people. I wondered how receptive they’d be. For all I know there’s an achievement for a hundred favour to kill me. I looked down at the little chomper. He was sparkling, the sun reflecting off his silver corners. “What about magic weapons?” I asked. “Not talking ones, please.”

“There are items of arcane influence, yes,” said Gnome, vaguely offended. “They will be sought after by many.”

My eyes moved to the many visible ruins along the path to the mountains. I had played enough RPGs to know that’d be the smartest place to look.

I didn’t spot Large Bird’s nest, so I dragged Gnome and myself back down and undid my harness. The wound on my leg was deep. I twisted the cap off my canteen, and shook it. Almost empty. I took the ghost of a sip, and dribbled the rest on my wound before tearing off part of my cloak and using it as a bandage. Gnome continued to talk my ear off the entire time, and refused to let up until I had started a fire and began roasting the already roasted Lard Bird leg.

I noticed Gnome’s non-existent eyes watching me. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was salivating. “Yes, you can have some,” I said. I tried to catch a look at what was inside when he caught the piece I threw him in midair, but he was too quick. I was about to inquire as to the method of his digestion when I felt the power coming on. My eyes opened wide and a surge of adrenaline pumped through my veins. I hadn’t even had more than a few bites.

Ability Discovered

- Silent Foot -

Tier 0

Con 2

Con -1%/min

And you thought you’d be growing a harpoon tail? These are tier 0 abilities, kid. Large Bird’s stealthy approach is now yours.

Secondary Ability Not Discovered

- Constitution Too Low -

Tier I

Con 4

Well that was different. Rather than it having a duration like Noxious Gas and it decreasing constitution with each use, it was a passive effect, with constitution decreasing every minute. Still tier zero, and still first level constitution, so no change there.

The secondary ability was even more interesting. I had no idea what it was, but the fact that I could nab two abilities from one creature was new. For that one, though, I’d have to wait.

To test my new power, I stood and walked ten or so feet to a tree.

“Whoa,” I said. Not a single crunch escaped my footfalls. Even the fabric of my shirt was silent. I turned back and sprinted towards the fire. It was a little louder, but not by much. Stealth mode. Perfect.

“Oh what are you doing now? Goodness, you are a child. And to think I was the one in chains,” Gnome complained.

All those months of sneaking down our creaky wooden staircase to not wake Brie while I got myself a midnight bowl of cereal had nothing on the power I had just stuffed into my belly. As an inexperienced marksman and even less studied hunter, this was going to be extremely helpful.

If a Ben falls from a tree and no one is around to hear it, does he make a sound?

Not with silent foot, baby.

I spent the next five minutes of my power testing its limits. It didn’t effect the sound of my voice, as I learned when shouting “Hadouken” at the sky. But it did silence pretty much everything else. Drawing my bow was quieter than the wind, pulling an arrow and nocking it was done without a whisper. Tumbling, rolling, jumping, all as if the space five feet around my body was set to mute. Even climbing up a tree and falling, as I alluded to, was inaudible.

“I’m feeling faint,” Gnome said as I returned to the fire. The silver looked like it was heating up.

“You’re fine.” I unclasped my cloak and draped it over him. “Better?”

“Mmffmm!”

“Good.”

I kicked at the wood to quell the fire and found a spot next to Gnome to curl up and fall asleep. With one hand on my dagger, I closed my eyes.

- Summer Sale Ends Soon! -

Buy two Healing Potions and GET ONE FREE! Healing Elixirs 20% OFF! Pack your summer with adventuring and get those potions!

Offer ends in 05:10:36:20

- Monster Culling Event Ended -

Large Bird’s 20% penalty to all stats has been removed. Any player who took part in killing a Large Bird during the course of the event has been awarded (1) favour.

- Community Mini-Event Begins Soon! -

A smashed caravan, bodies strewn about, missing gold. Find the caravan wreckage to kick-start this mini event chain, and discover the mysterious perpetrator!

Event Begins in 00:10:36:15

- Community Event Begins Soon! -

An ancient evil grows strong beneath the ground. Gather your supplies and forge your alliances before making your way to the Greenback Mountains for the Monsters of Madness event, where limited edition creatures await to be slain. Prizes await for successful players.

Event Begins in 26:10:36:12

When I woke again, a band of twilight along the horizon was beginning to encroach on the rest of the sky. My head throbbed, my back ached. A prompt warned me that my sleep was uncomfortable and that I hadn’t gotten rid of my exhaustion. I feel old.

And what were those dreams? Ads in my sleep?

I rolled over. “Gnome—“

A boot pressed down on my chest. Before I could brandish my knife, the ax was at my throat. I followed it from blade to handle, to the man who held it. He breathed a lock of grey hair out of his eyes, and shrugged.

“Sorry mate,” he said, smiling. “It’s not personal.”