I sat on the small cot in my room, my head resting against the cool grey wall. My eyes were closed but my face was tightened in concentration. Around me invisible weaves of energy flowed into spirals and helixes. When that got boring I switched over to drawing simple figures and writing out the alphabet.

This was a crude and simplistic use of my newly gained ability to manipulated mana and eldritch energies, but it helped me to get a grasp on how to control and guide the energy. At high levels I believed I would be able to use the abilities to form constructs, or even craft my own spells or copy the spells of others. Theoretically I could already do this, but it was good to be able to take a more active role in my own development.

Like with most skills, the first two levels of mana manipulation came fast matching the two levels I already had in Eldritch Manipulation. With the increase I noticed not only an increased dexterity in my control of mana, but also an increased ability to sense it around me. I could ‘see’ mana in finer detail.

The skill increases brought my total FP to six, well above the four I required to finish the Inspiration feat. The additional two points had not been necessary, as I’d had the four required as soon as I’d woken up after Pastor Belk.

I had been subconsciously putting off purchasing the feat. I knew it made no sense to put it off, and that I was only delaying out of fear of being disappointed. Truth is without life and death challenges I am a legendary procrastinator. Practicing my new skills had only been a way to put off the inevitable.

Inwardly sighing, I brought up my status screen and found my list of available feats. I sat looking at the list carefully reading each feat, perhaps thinking one would jump out at me as being objectively better than inspiration. It was a feeble hope.

I suspect that my indecision was caused by my own mental fatigue. A good night’s rest would probably have cleared my mind. The thought of sleep immediately brought me back to my senses. I’d had too many bad experiences lately.

I instead turned my mind back towards the topic of the Inspiration feat. I had already invested so many FP it made no sense to hesitate now.

My resolve steeled by my own sunk cost argument I poured four more FP in the skill. I was rewarded with a soft ding as a notification screen appeared. I ignored the usual congratulations focusing only on the meat of the feat itself.

Inspiration ® - You have peered into the secrets of the universe seeking hidden, esoteric truths. In a moment of inspiration, you have taken hold of hidden knowledge of great power. Ancient knowledge contains secrets of power lost to modern ages, but so too does knowledge of self bring great returns. It is up to the seeker to decide what knowledge to pursue.

Do you pursue knowledge long thought lost, or do your studies delve inward?

Again, the system hit me with a knowledge wall. If I had examples to follow I could know the results of each choice. I suspected that the results would be different each time, but I had no way to be sure. Even if the results were random I could have searched for patterns, found the option that gave the greatest return on average or had the greatest number of highly ranked skills or feats.

For the first time I regretted not staying with the Peacekeepers. Talith had been reluctant to give me specific build advice, but surely, I could have picked her brain if I had had more time.

No, if I had stayed I wouldn’t now have a lead on where to find Troy and Liv. I would probably still be dealing with the corruption eating away at my memories or be looking over my shoulder wondering what Sebbit would do if he discovered I had lied to him. I couldn’t worry about past mistakes, I had to keep moving forward.

Often the worst choice is not making a choice at all.

The choice before me seemed overwhelming, and yet my previous indecision was lost. Something about the wording of the feat caused me think that self-knowledge was the better choice. The ‘lost knowledge’ part also made me pause. If it was so powerful, wouldn’t it have been recorded? The construction of an atomic bomb was controlled and highly secret information, sure, but once it was proliferated it was impossible for that knowledge to be lost.

My guess was that any truly great knowledge would have been equally protected. I was unaware of the countless worlds, civilizations, and systems of magic that had died out long before I was born. Before the Earth was born. At the time it was impossible for me to wrap my mind around how vastly ancient the Hegemony of Worlds was, let alone the System that predated it.

My choice made, I selected the option to pursue self-knowledge.

Your inward journey has focused on the mysteries of the mind. You have plumbed its hidden depths and found the darkness that resides within. The origin of this darkness is external and obscure, and yet it has become a part of you. By gaining knowledge of this darkness you have obtained a semblance of control over it. Beware its influence over you lest the servant become the master.

The warning seemed ominous, but I was also relieved to have any sort of control over the corruption I had been battling since the moment I awoke in that cave.

Congratulations! You have gained a new feat(s).

Dark Companion Ⓛ- The dark companion that has haunted your dreams can now take material form. You control this materialization, but not the actions of the companion once summoned. This companion is a source of both power and knowledge. Your connection to the dark eldritch energies that originate from beyond your world flow into you through this connection. The dark companion may also advise you or aid you in combat but beware that no power comes without cost.

That… was interesting. I dared not summon it, however. I feared the form it might take, and I didn’t have the mental energy to engage in a battle, of wits or otherwise, with a creature that had been alive since the beginning of the universe. Possibly before. Even if that creature was just a fraction of the original.

To distract myself I scanned through my stats and available feats. Among the notifications I ignored was a plus two to intelligence. I was also pleasantly surprised when I saw that Inspiration was once again available, this time listed as Inspiration II (0/50). In the future I would have to pursue it, but for now I would concentrate on cheaper feats rather than trying to make the Hail Marry pass.

Both the upgraded form of scholar and prestidigitator, autodidact and hedge magician respectively, were only four points. I decided to put two points into hedge magician but received no immediate benefit.

The additional two points would be simple to earn as I still had two skills below level three. I had observed that level three seemed to be a ‘soft cap’ for many skills, being easy to level up to that point and increasingly more time consuming after. At this point I only had a few skills at level four, and none higher.

I believed it was a problem worth talking to Tiller about. The man seemed to have a much more in depth understanding of skills and their interactions than I had. Catayla, too, might have some training ideas. I decided to look for them in the morning.

Just as I began training my manipulations skills I received a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I said.

A man in camouflage pants and a tan sleeveless shirt opened the door. He walked in, having to squeeze himself against the wall in order to close the door.

“Hi,” he said. “I’m Markus, Pat sent me. Said you’d be expecting me.”

“Right, she told you to check up on me too. Didn’t she?”

“You’re not wrong, but that’s not really why I’m here.” Markus looked around, his hands went from crossed to down by his sides and then back to being crossed in front of his chest. He raised one hand to his hair, brushing it aside, before deciding on leaning against the wall with his arms crossed once more.

“Pat tells me you met my friends, Troy and Liv?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure did. Saved my ass too. I was running from some bug-thing and that girl comes out of nowhere and hit it with a moving truck. No shit.

“She had a bunch of folks in the back, too. Said they were heading up to the base in Goose Creek. Troy, I think that was him, Liv’s guy, right?” Marcus waited for my nod before continuing. “Yeah, he was running around blasting this hand cannon, must have killed six or seven of those bastards. They were both all right last I saw of them.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?” I asked.

“Family here. Didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” We sat like that for a while, no more words needed to be spoken.

“Listen,” Markus said. “A few boys I know have this killer hooch. Maybe a little smoke, some guitar. Care to join us?”

I smiled. A distraction was just what I needed at the moment.