Michael stood before a small rotting wooden door. He’d searched for a long while to find one that had actually been left standing. Everything wooden near the wendigo’s hideout had been cannibalized for firewood to keep away Calder’s apparition.

Which made the rotting door a treasure in its own right, and Michael intended to treat it as such.

With careful hands he slid the IKEA key into the lock and opened the door to the familiar smell of furniture and minimum wage employment.

Calder stood behind Michael and gazed through the doorway with curiosity and awe plain on his face.

Michael nudged him with his elbow, “One final step to freedom.”

Michael stepped through the doorway, and with noticeable hesitation Calder followed him. Shelves and tables lined with half constructed furniture greeted them, alongside the god with an ever-shifting appearance.

Michael smiled, “It’s been a while.”

The manager raised her head up from her work and raised an eyebrow, “Oh, how intriguing.”

She stood up and approached the two of them, “I’d always heard that apostles of Order grow at an alarming rate, but this is the first time I’ve seen that rapid growth in person.”

Michael scoffed, “And were all very happy for your new experience, but sadly I’m not just here for a cordial meeting.”

“And just what would you be here for?”

Michael’s smile dimmed slightly, “The foundation betrayed me and tried to have me killed. They failed, obviously, but now I need a way back to my world.”

She grinned and rubbed her hands together, “I can do that, it’s a simple task, but it’s still going to cost you.”

She glanced towards the large monster leather sack slung over Michael's shoulder and grinned, “I hope for your sake that there's something rather nice in that bag.”

Michael scoffed, “Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll find it acceptable.”

Michael dumped the sack's contents at his feet, creating a small mountain of white spores in front of him.

The manager’s body stiffened for a moment, before she let out a shrill shriek. “Oh my god! This is beautiful! Where did you get this? How did you get this?”

Michael shrugged, “I travel.”

The ever-shifting goddess moved to touch the spores, but Michael grabbed hold of her wrist just before she could.

“No touching, not before we finalize this deal.”

Her ever-shifting form seemed to solidify into one of annoyance before she reluctantly retracted her hand.

“Fine, you wanted a path back to your world right? Done.”

She snapped her fingers and a doorway appeared behind her.

She once again moved towards the pile of spores, but Michael blocked her path.

He waved his finger and tsked his tongue, “I’m sorry, but don’t you think this deal is a little unfair?”

She looked up with annoyance, “What?”

“Well, I had to work rather hard to get that; Michael gestured to the spores. Don’t you think this deal could be sweetened a little bit?”

The goddess stared towards the spores with longing eyes, before pulling her gaze back towards Michael.

“What do you want?”

“Oh nothing much, I just need you to appraise a certain item–-” Michael glanced towards the large pile of anomalous items in the far corner of the workshop. “--and let me pick something out from over there. I’d be happy with that much.”

“...I don’t know.”

Michael leaned in towards the goddess, “I could always go sell it somewhere else. I bet infinite Walmart would be more than willing to take this deal.”

The goddess suddenly threw her arms around Michael with tears beginning to form in her eyes, “Noo! Please anything but that, I’ll take the deal! I’ll take the deal!”

Michael stepped back in surprise, “Uh, glad we could come to an agreement.”

Michael pulled the goddess off himself and walked over to the large pile of anomalous items with a smile on his face. The last time he’d been here he’d gotten lucky. The warhammer had been an excellent addition to his arsenal, but luck is a truly fickle thing and tends to not favor the same person for long. Picking at random would be foolish, especially when he had a cornucopia of knowledge sitting at his side.

“Keith, which one should I pick?”

Michael’s heart suddenly began to beat loudly in his chest, and Michael immediately stopped what he was doing.

A look of annoyance entered Michael’s face, “Well look who’s finally awake. It’s been quite awhile since you last decided to show yourself.”

The heart scoffed, “It’s simply been awhile since I found the situation worthy of me showing myself.”

There was a certain seriousness to the heart’s voice, “I need you to choose the necklace sitting at the center of that pile.”

Michael’s eyes shifted towards the large pile of items, “And why is that?”

“Because I refuse to serve a weak master, especially when they’ve declared their intent to battle gods.”

“Oh, you were listening to that?”

“I’m always listening.”

Keith hummed with disapproval, “I don’t know, the hearts always been somewhat sketchy.”

Michael raised an eyebrow, “Keith, you’re the personification of the word sketchy.”

Keith laughed, “And I never claimed not to be.”

With a sigh Michael decided to move the conversation along, “What’s the necklace do exactly?”

The heart laughed heartily, “Simple, it makes gods bleed.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Michael dug through the pile, tossing aside anomaly after anomaly in his search for the heart’s necklace, and after some fifteen minutes he’d found it.

Michael lifted the necklace high, and it shimmered under the high fluorescent lights. The necklace was a simple chain with what looked to be a miniature broken sword at the end of it. The sword was carved from stone and had vibrant red lines covering it. The handle of the sword was missing, only leaving the blade attached to the necklace.

Calder leaned over Michael and examined the necklace, “What’s it do?”

Michael only shrugged in response, “Who knows, I only paid that goddess for one appraisal, and I have something else lined up for that.”

Michael placed the necklace around his neck, and surprisingly nothing happened. He felt no different, but when he went to question the heart on the specifics of the item he got no response.

The bastard was asleep again.

Michael took several deep breaths before simply deciding to let it go. He had more important things to do. He turned towards Calder and a smile appeared on Michael's face.

Hey Calder, you ever had a burger before?”

“A what?”

Michael laughed, “Oh you’re in for a treat.”

With that, the two men walked towards the doorway left exactly where the goddess had first summoned it. Both of them doing their best to ignore the goddess literally rolling around in the pile of spores.

Michael placed one hand on Calder’s shoulder and grinned, “I’ll show you just how great the world can be.”

Michael swung open the doorway, and together the two men made their way through.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Deep in a foundation facility stood a room where the lights never turned off, and inside, huddled in a corner, was a boy of shadow that had never moved a muscle under the harsh fluorescent lights. At least, he hadn’t for a long, long time.

Today it had disappeared. It had raised its head despite the light that is feared beating down on it, and despite having no real defining features the faintest trace of a smile appeared within the shadow’s face before it disappeared entirely.

A moment later the foundation scientists in charge of the shadow SCP shared a glance with one another upon viewing the footage.

One muttered under their breath, “Well, that's probably not good.”

The other nodded, “Yeah, probably.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hearthgrieve stood in Michael’s cell with the task of clearing it out for new use. The powers that be had finally deemed that enough time had passed to warrant the space be used for other more important things. Like another break room.

Nevertheless, Hearthgrieve undertook the task. He didn’t particularly agree with the way they’d handed Michael. Yes, that prophecy was rather terrible at a glance, but it didn’t supply much context besides the fact that at some point Michael would be wearing that damned mask whilst surrounded by corpses.

Hearthgrieve sighed, Ok, it looked pretty bad. Which is what led to such a shotty and rushed termination plan.

Hearthgrieve sighed and continued to pack away Michael’s few belongings into a cardboard box.

Suddenly with a loud crack echoed out behind him and Michael appeared in the room. His armor had been split and cracked, and dried blood covered his body. Michael’s eyes immediately shot towards Hearthgrieve and the next thing Hearthgrieve knew Michael had disappeared and he found himself lying on the ground.

It had happened so fast that he hadn’t even been able to process what had happened. Then the pain finally set in. Hearthgrieve’s eyes shot down to his legs, and both were facing unnatural angles.

He moved to scream, but suddenly Michael was in front of him with his hand covering his mouth. His other hand reached into a nearby drawer where he pulled out a small black ring and immediately pocketed it.

“Now let’s not make a scene about this. I made a promise to break y’alls legs and I followed through on it. Now the slate between you and me is clean, but I’m going to need one more thing.”

Michael reached into Hearthgrieve’s pocket and pulled out the man’s wallet. “My accounts frozen, and I don’t have any cash lying around since y’all weren’t exactly paying me, so~.”

Michael disappeared with a flash, leaving Hearthgrieve lying upon the ground gasping to catch his breath, before suddenly reappearing a few seconds later.

“Almost forgot to mention this, but if you cancel your credit card, I’m coming back to break your arms. Anywho, nice seeing you again. Sorry that I’m still alive. I’m sure y’all will do a better job killing me next time.”

With that Michael disappeared with a flash and Hearthgrieve quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It was broken beyond repair.

Hearthgrieve grit his teeth, “That bastard.”