《Tales From the Terran Republic》The Delightful Patricia Hu
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Dawn Newson, formerly a member of the Terran Marines, was sitting at the embassy desk trying to figure out these damn reports. Gunny made it seem so simple but damn, this was tough. She pulled out her notebook and started flipping away.
“Ok… now where does this get emailed to?” she said to herself as the door opened.
She looked up and her jaw dropped. In walked a woman clad in a tight black beautifully embroidered slit skirt wearing some sort of sword with a red cloth coming off the pommel and a pistol on her other hip.
She was beautiful, completely flawless with green almond shaped eyes, porcelain skin, and long tawny blond hair. She moved almost as if she was floating.
“Hello! Welcome to the Terran Embassy! Can I help you?” Dawn asked.
“I hope so, I am here to see Ambassador Wintersmith.”
“Certainly,” Dawn said happily, “Who may I say is calling? Um… I mean approaching… I mean...”
“I get the idea,” the woman laughed. It sounded wonderful. It made Dawn happy inside. “Tell him that Patricia Hu is here to meet with him.”
Dawn’s eyes widened.
“You are her? Wow. But aren’t you supposed to be like really old?”
Patricia raised one of her eyebrows slightly.
“Well, my dear, the surgeons can perform marvels these days,” she purred, “Women are vain creatures after all. I’m sure you understand oh but you are still so young. How I envy you. Youth is so beautiful in and of itself. No matter what you see when you look in the mirror I can assure you that you are nowhere as unattractive as you think. Revel in your youth…”
Patricia then glanced down at her as if looking at a bug.
“...and your beauty.”
“Um…” Dawn stammered and fumbled for the intercom. “Am… Ambassador… Ms. Hu is here to see you… um…”
“Ah,” Jon said, “Show her in, please.”
“Y-yes… um… ok...” She looked up at Patricia Hu and right into her green eyes. It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She rose shakily to her feet. “P-please this way, ma’am.”
The short walk to the door felt miles long. She opened the door and Patricia glided past her as if she didn’t exist.
Dawn sat down at her desk trying to gather her wits. Was she unattractive? She certainly didn’t think so… but… She looked down at her slight build and pulled at her short hair. God she wished she had a mirror.
Was she ugly? She wasn’t was she?
She just sat there staring off into space for quite some time.
***
“Ambassador,” Patricia said nodding her head slightly. “You are looking… well...”
Jon just laughed. “You go a couple of rounds with an anti-tank rifle and let’s see how you… Oh wait… Nevermind. You probably have.”
They both laughed.
“So, you are here, Patricia Hu, the blood drinker, the butcher of China, the horde-mother, the queen of the damned, the weigher of souls...” Jon said as he nodded his head.
“My personal favorite is a more recent, Vlad the Stapler,” Patricia laughed.
“Oh Christ,” Jon laughed, “I hadn’t heard that one!”
Patricia bowed gracefully, “I seem to make an impression wherever I go.”
“I wonder why,” Jon laughed. “So you are here to make sure that another attack doesn’t happen. How exactly do you plan to do that?”
“Well,” she said as she glided over to his bed and drifted down like a swan’s feather to rest upon the side, “One of my big strategies is simple deterrence,” she smiled, “If you were to be killed I would naturally assume your duties. Director Axlea absolutely detests me and will do anything and I mean anything to prevent it. We turn a potential threat to a legion of bodyguards!”
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She laughed and it sounded like birds singing.
“You suddenly become the most protected being in the Federation.”
Jon laughed so hard he coughed.
“I had not considered that," he chuckled as he wiped his eyes. "I almost feel sorry for that scaly bitch.”
“I of course will also lend my experience and abilities to further safeguard this embassy… and the Republic’s interests of course.”
“Of course,” Jon said raising an eyebrow. “I am looking forward to working with you to determine what are in fact the Republic’s interests here in the Federation… More precisely I am looking forward to finding out what you and the people who put you here consider the Republic’s interests to be.”
Patricia smiled and looked directly into his eyes.
“Oh I’m sure you will find out soon enough.”
“I’m sure,” Jon said returning her smile and her gaze… “Looking forward to it.”
“Hmm,” Patricia Hu said with a wicked twinkle in her eye, “Actually… For the first time in awhile I am looking forward to it as well.”
She stood and walked over to a chair and pulled out her tablet.
“So, down to business… What do I need to know before you depart for Terra?”
***
Inspector Vance walked through yet another home. It was like all the rest he had been through over the past few days. No sign of forced entry, minimal or no signs of a struggle, everybody dead. It was like nothing he had ever seen and it happened a lot of places over the span of a single night. In Capital City alone there were hundreds of dead and it wasn’t just in the capital. Across the Federation thousands of people, mostly human, were dead. Entire families were simply snuffed out.
It made absolutely no sense, at least at first.
“You were right, Inspector,” Detective Freela said as she walked up with a data tablet. “This man was also affiliated with Cyrus Red. He was one of his construction foremen.”
“They were erased. The entire organization has been erased,” Inspector Vance said, “Can we find anyone, anyone who is still alive? Wait, what about that guy we put in protective custody? What was his name? Gerald?”
“Let me check...” Detective Freela said. Moments later she simply said “Oh...”
“Oh?”
“He’s dead.”
“What? How?”
“They are calling it a suicide.”
“My wrinkly ass! Let me see!” Inspector Vance took the tablet from Freela. “Son of a bitch!”
“Sort of an odd move for someone so desperate to stay alive isn’t it Inspector?”
“Hmm. Any sign of Cyrus Red yet?”
“Not yet. Everyone in his mansion is dead but he still hasn’t been found.”
“Well,” the inspector said, “considering everything else I’m willing to bet he is dead too. Probably will never find him.” The inspector paused and looked into space for a moment. “Detective, let’s get a list of all construction sites and other such areas owned by Red Industries.”
“Sure, but why?”
“Places like that are secluded, often with barriers blocking access and view, perfect places to conduct less than legitimate business or dispose of things you want to disappear. Drop something into the hole before the foundations are poured, that sort of thing. It’s yet another old human trick.”
“Yes, Inspector. I will have them compile a list for us.”
“Now on to something even less pleasant. We still have to see if we can actually get into the Terran Embassy and maybe get some answers about that whole mess. The department really needs to get a statement from the ambassador or his driver.”
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“Yeah, I could use a break from this. I thought the Z’uush attacks were bad. This… this is just…” She said as a small child was carried out of a bedroom with a single hole in her head.
She just closed her eyes and turned away.
“Who the fuck did Cyrus Red piss off?” the inspector asked to nobody in particular.
***
That morning Dawn was sitting at her desk shifting uncomfortably. She spent hours that morning trying to do her hair and makeup but it still just didn’t look right. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t make it look right. He pulled out a small mirror again and looked at herself and frowned. Ugly! No doubt about it. She was ugly.
She wanted to cry. She just shook herself and opened up some reports trying to take her mind off of things. She wished she was back in the marines. Maybe she could go back. She wasn’t that injured after all. At least there she belonged. She thought she belonged here but she now looked at herself and at everybody around her. They were so professional looking and so well put together and she well…
She was a mess, just a pathetic fucking mess. She wasn’t just ugly it went deeper. She was worthless. Even in the marines everyone had to look after her, the gunny, the captain (well now the colonel… or ambassador or whatever). God! She was such a burden. How could she not see it until now? How could they put her out here where everyone could see her? Why were they being so cruel? Was this some joke? Were they laughing, laughing at the poor pathetic fucking ugly mess who thought she could be one of them?
Oh God! Ms. Hu just walked in! She wanted to hide, hide her ugliness, her inadequacies, her incompetence, herself…
I want to die, she thought to herself desperately trying not to burst into tears. Oh no! She was looking at her… Oh God, her eyes… Maybe I should die, she thought. Maybe it would be for the best…
“Oh dear! Oh no, no. What have you done to yourself, child?” Patricia Hu asked Dawn as she walked up. Dawn started to quietly cry.
Patricia scooped her up and led her into the ambassador’s office.
“Shh, child, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright,” Patricia said in a warm loving voice as she pulled out some towelettes from her clutch and started to wipe Dawn’s face. “You tried so hard, didn’t you?”
Dawn just nodded miserably.
“It’s not your fault, child. You just didn’t know what you were doing. Here, let’s get all of that off of you.” Patricia gently cleaned Dawn’s face as she stroked her hair. “There,” Patricia said with a note of satisfaction. “Now you look presentable!”
Presentable! Dawn thought to herself. She said that I was presentable!
“Now you come right over to my quarters this evening after you wash out… whatever that is in your hair and I will help you. I will show you how to do this right.”
She will help me!
“Yes, Ambassador!”
“Deputy Ambassador, dear!”
“Yes, Deputy Ambassador!”
She’s going to help me. Me! She is going to help!
Dawn looked at her with eyes full of happiness and hope.
“Now,” Patricia said as she adjusted Dawn’s collar, “You take a minute, clear your head, and get back in the game. I want you at your best out there.”
Patricia gave her a smile that felt like she had pulled back the curtains and let sunlight into the room.
She wants me!
“Yes, Deputy Ambassador!”
***
Dawn was happily tearing through reports and reviewing correspondence (why did she ever think this was hard?) when Inspector Vance and Detective Freela walked in.
“What do you want?” She asked as she looked at Inspector Vance with disgust.
How could one of them even come in here? How could they dare defile the same building that had people like Ms. Hu in it? The nerve! The thought of Ms. Hu having to breathe the air that something like him tainted made her almost physically ill.
The inspector just turned towards Detective Freela.
“It looks like we are going to have to play the messenger game again.”
“Oh I hate that game. It’s so tiresome.”
“Well?” Dawn asked impatiently.
“Please tell this nice woman that we want to speak with the ambassador concerning the recent attack,” Vance said to Detective Freela.
“Excuse me,” Detective Freela said in a very tired and slightly condescending tone, “We would like to speak with the ambassador concerning the recent attack.”
“I’m afraid you just missed him,” Dawn said directly to Inspector Vance. “He just left for Terra for treatment… you know… for the attack… that happened to him… in your city… you know… the one that you are supposed to be protecting?” She practically spat out the words. “Now I am quite busy doing my job properly, not something that you would be familiar with. Unless there is something else I can do for you… people,” she said looking at both of them with disdain, “I need to get back to it.”
Inspector Vance just gritted his teeth. Oh God he hated Terrans. He fucking hated them!
“Well, speaking of someone not doing their job,” he snarled, “we never got a statement from any Terran representative concerning the attack and we need one. That’s why I am here. It’s my job. Believe it or not I actually do my job even when privately I couldn’t care less. I even do my job even when I privately wish that it was his head instead of his arm.”
Detective Freela just looked at Vance in complete shock.
“Um, Inspector, perhaps we should...”
“Want to say that again, motherfucker?” Dawn shouted as she rose and drew her combat knife. “Say that again!”
Inspector Vance reached into his jacket. Detective Freela jumped in between them as embassy security approached from all sides.
“Um,” Detective Freela said nervously, “Why don’t we all just take a deep breath and...”
“Going for a gun, you pussy?” Dawn snarled as she stepped around her desk.
Ms. Hu wanted her to be at her best and she was going to get it!
“Go for it! I’ll gut you before you get a shot off! Or after! I don’t give a shit!” She turned to the embassy guards. “Back off. This fucker is mine!”
In accordance with Terran custom, the guards removed their hands from their weapons and stood back. She invoked dibs.
“Don’t want the stunner?” the inspector asked, “Fine.”
He whipped out a telescoping steel baton.
“Looks like the little girl wants a spanking.”
“Everyone please!” Detective Freela yelled.
She turned to the guards who just shrugged.
“Hey, she called dibs,” one of the guards said as he took out his camera phone.
The door to the ambassador’s office opened and Patricia Hu stepped out her hand on her dao.
“Well this certainly sounds interesting,” she said in a happy voice.
Inspector Vance just froze.
“No… NO!” he yelled as he backed away in horror. “YOU! NO! IT CAN’T BE!”
She locked eyes with him rooting him to the spot. “Don’t let me stop you. I just came out to watch. A decorated Terran marine against a worn out old arcology rent-a-cop, this should be amusing.”
Dawn’s heart swelled with pride. A marine! A decorated marine! Yeah! That’s me! I’m going to kill him! Dawn started to slowly circle Vance who stood completely paralyzed lost in the horrors of the past. One nightmare after another tore through his brain as if his mind wasn’t his own. He saw the young woman circling, getting closer but he just couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he move? Move dammit! Move!
“Ok! That’s it!” Detective Freela whipped out her blaster. “Call her off or I’m going to put a hole through her fucking head diplomacy be damned!”
“Oh now this is fun!” Patricia said as she drew her dao so fast it was a blur. “Nobody interfere. The rent-a-cop is Dawn’s and this… whatever… is mine. I will cut you in half before you can pull the trigger, animal.”
Patricia took her gaze off of Vance who, now able to move, threw his baton to the tiles. “No. We aren’t playing this bullshit game. Freela, holster your weapon. They won’t attack now. We are leaving. Send a report to the department or don’t. I don’t give a shit.”
Vance turned to leave.
“You’re crazy! All of you are fucking crazy!” Detective Freela shouted.
“Pussy.” Dawn snarled and then looked over at Patricia for approval.
“Well put, dear,” Patricia said patting her shoulder. “Now sheathe your knife. You will have to feed it another day.”
Yeah, I will have to feed it later, she thought
Vance just kept walking his heart beating out of his chest his breaths coming out in ragged gasps.
“Inspector, what the flying fuck just happened?” Detective Freela asked.
The inspector remained silent as they walked to their vehicle.
“Inspector?”
Once inside the inspector just pulled out his tablet and started typing. He then closed his eyes and let the tablet fall. Detective Freela saw the page. It was a picture of Patricia Hu with the caption “The Federation welcomes Patricia Hu, the new Terran Deputy Ambassador to the Federation.”
“Inspector? Who is that woman?”
“...Evil...” He muttered.
The Inspector kept his eyes closed and remained silent.
“Inspector?” Detective Freela asked, “Um… where should we go next.”
“I don’t care. I just don’t care. Just… drive.”
***
“You did very well today, child.” Patricia said as she carefully applied cosmetics to Dawn, artfully recreating her in her own image.
“I did?” Dawn asked eagerly.
“Oh yes, I was quite impressed,” Patricia said as she lightly brushed Dawn’s eyelids. “Not many people these days would be a true Terran in a situation like that,”
She sighed.
“We are getting too complacent these days. Too many of us are enamored with nonsense like peace, diplomacy, and co-existence. It’s sad, really” she said as she stroked Dawn’s face hypnotically.
“Sad...” Dawn murmured.
“We made quite the team out there,” Patricia said as she started to carefully paint Dawn’s lips.
“We did?” Dawn asked breathlessly.
“Hold still, child.” Patricia said. “And yes we did. You with your knife and me with my dao. We were going to spill some animal blood just like the good old days,” Patricia sighed happily, “It’s just too bad that old piece of long-pork was gutless… just like all the rest. We could have bathed in their blood.”
“Mmm hmm...” Dawn murmured.
“Oh well, there will be plenty of other opportunities, trust me,” Patricia said happily. “Don’t worry, plenty of opportunities… Ah! There! Done!” Patricia said with some satisfaction and swiveled Dawn’s chair to face the mirror.
Dawn gasped. She was beautiful! It was as if she were a completely different person! She looked up at Patricia with absolute devotion and gratitude.
“See child?” Patricia said as she stroked her hair. “You are nowhere as unattractive as you thought you were. You are beautiful.”
Dawn burst into tears.
“Oh child, you will make a mess of yourself. We mustn’t cry. It ruins all of our hard work, dear,” Patricia said as she expertly dried Dawn’s tears. “We just need one more thing,” Patricia said as she went to her jewelry cabinet and pulled out an exquisite string of pearls and draped them around Dawn’s neck.
“Oh! I can’t! It’s…”
“Nonsense, dear. Consider it a reward for being a true Terran today. Besides, I need my assistant to look the part.”
“Your… assistant?”
“Well I need one and we are already working together. After baring steel together today I definitely want to continue that... If you do of course.”
“Yes! Yes! More than anything! Please!”
Patricia smiled a smile that filled Dawn with warmth. She had never felt so valued, so supported… so loved…
“Ok, assistant,” Patricia said in an official voice. “You will come here each morning before you report for work so we can work on your appearance and have our own little private meeting. I would also like for you to start training with me. Your marine training is quite good… a quite good start I mean. Only if you want to, of course.”
“Oh yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! A million times yes!”
“Oh wonderful. There are so many wonderful amazing things I can share with you. We get started tomorrow! Now get some rest, my assistant.”
“Yes, Deputy Ambassador!”
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