I didn’t have time to plan it all out. I really wish I did. But Grenzer’s hand was grasping at his mace, and with how fast he moved, if I didn’t go now, there would be no hope.

Looking back toward the pile of fruit on the forest floor, I coiled my legs and crouched low. In an instant, I launched myself forward, sprinting across the ground.

Glancing up, I could see the familiar cocoons hanging in the trees.

Please don’t eat me! Please don’t eat me!!

The gorlen swung back and forth from my mouth, bumping into my shoulders, but I was too focused on the incoming hell to notice.

Grenzer shouted in surprise, and then dashed right after me.

I screamed my old buddy Aaron’s warcry in my mind, for lack of a better option.

SCHLONG LIVE THE KING!

And I jumped over the pile of fruit.

There was a brief moment of silence—everything moving in slow motion—and I could almost hear Enya’s Only Time playing in the background as I floated over the fruit pile of death.

Then, pandemonium was unleashed.

Snapping mouths exploded from above me as the Metamorphic Impersonators launched themselves down to the ground, screaming like banshees. Jaws snapped closed behind me, and I could hear the warrior cry out.

Whether it was in anguish or exasperation, I couldn’t be sure. But I couldn’t feel much anymore, and the useless processing power that was devoted to hearing had been refocused strictly on survival.

I zigzagged across the mossy jungle floor, only barely avoiding furious Impersonators as they launched themselves at me and my pursuer.

But I remembered what Little Dino Foo Foo had taught me, and I whipped around trees, under logs, and around boulders, doing my best to tie the Impersonators into knots.

I stumbled away from the nests as soon as I felt some of them fall off my trail. Grenzer was crying havoc as he fought off the beasts, but with a quick glance, I could see he didn’t know much about the elastic beasties.

Because he was standing right in the middle of the pile of Skurgis fruits.

I tripped through the forest, darkness creeping in around my vision as I did my best to locate the Dino Cave. I managed to find Dwayne—the giant boulder that resembled Rexcelsis’ head—and crashed to the ground, rolling onto the leaves that covered the cave entrance.

Man, if only Rex was here…

I slid clumsily down the slope, letting go of the furball and hearing him roll away into the cave with a whimper.

I tried to keep my eyes open as I moaned, but they rapidly became too heavy. The darkness creeping in from all sides grew thicker. I stared up at the light trickling through the leafy cover, my last glimpse of nature before I died.

You are [Bleeding].

No, really…?

I didn’t even have the strength to sass the boxes as my eyes closed.

Owwwwww…

Somebody tapped my body tenderly, inflicting great pain without even trying to. I moaned, rolling my head to the side to see where I was.

Darkness. And I couldn’t see through it. My Nocturnal wasn’t activating for some reason. Instead, I drifted aimlessly amongst the shadows, feeling them swirl over and around me, and even sometimes through me.

I woke up again.

My body was hot, and I was shaking. I shifted feverishly as the tender taps continued their touching, but my belly stung with a fierce pain that blasted through me like shrapnel from a grenade.

My mouth opened by itself, and some liquid flowed down my throat. I struggled to open one of my eyes which were clenched tight in pain and saw only blurs.

I should’ve… evolved… when I had the chance. The Turanta… maybe would’ve… survived that.

Then the darkness consumed me again.

For what felt like hours, I drifted in and out of consciousness. In and out of pain. Each time I woke, I could feel the tender taps pressing against my body, and each time I slept, the darkness absorbed me with ease.

I saw a light in the dark… a massive red blast.

A high-pitched scream of pain, and the face of the siren danced before me, melting and turning to ash. Beyond her, the predatory grin of Rexcelsis appeared suddenly in the black, sucking me in towards him. He opened his mouth, chomping down on my body.

An explosive pain erupted in my stomach once more, and as I tried to move, it spread through my whole body. I collapsed, merely looking around to see that Rex had disappeared.

“Ho ho ho!” called a jovial voice, fading into my mind.

“Santa?” I asked, struggling to turn my head towards the source.

Ki Grenzer rode on a sleigh the color of blood, the heads of Impersonators spilling out of the black bag slung over his shoulder. The two squires—Barlan and Shella—pulled the craft along with a gallop.

“You’ve been a bad dinosaur!” Grenzer shouted, a smile cresting his rosy cheeks. He flicked his head, moving a white puffy ball atop his new red hat out of his face.

Schlack!

A knife pierced my stomach.

“Aaaagh!” I screamed, writhing in pain in the void. I grasped at the injury with my familiar human hands, but couldn’t find the weapon, instead simply coming away covered in blood.

As I watched, the blood dripped down my hands, coating my palms, wrists, and then arms in it. It inched up my biceps to my shoulders, washing over my chest and up my neck. And as the wetness crawled into my mouth, my hands began to change before my eyes.

Wicked tips shot out of my fingers, black talons replacing my nails.

The blood seeped into my skin, leaving only scales behind.

I was changing.

I screamed in horror, turning to run, but the blood didn’t care where I went. As I stepped, my legs changed, sending me crashing to the ground in a heap. The shadows blinded me.

Then the rancid scent of blood clouded my nose and I blinked, now seeing a corpse laying before me.

The dead body of a Deotrexaptor rested on the ground, blood flooding out towards me.

My stomach grumbled, and I opened my mouth wide, tearing a massive bite from the creature’s stomach against my will.

And as I chewed, the texture in my mouth evolved.

Now I was crunching, not chewing, as a point dug into my gum. I spit out the remainders, white pieces of bone flying out into the void.

Dinosaur skeletons—like those you’d see in a museum—climbed out of my mouth, doing battle on the ground. A Spinosaurus clashed with a T-Rex.

Then they turned to me, growing in size until they dwarfed me, and charged. Mammoth feet came crashing down from above.

I screamed, waking up. My eyes burst open wide. My breathing was ragged.

Nothing but the empty cave I thought I’d died within surrounded me. Nothing was different from any other day. There wasn’t even dried blood on the leafy floor.

Was it all a dream?

But a chunk of unidentifiable meat rested on the table before me, and a crude bowl of water made of woven leaves sat beside it.

And I realized I was starving.

Slowly, I stretched my stiff neck out to reach for the meat, swallowing it in a single bite. My throat was a desert, and I quickly slurped down some of the water, wetting it.

It was hard to drink as a dinosaur. It was even harder to drink something in an elevated position. But I managed to slurp enough water from the bowl that my thirst was quelled.

...

Who could’ve possibly taken care of me?

But to my sleep-addled brain, the answer was unimportant. I was safe, somehow.

Somehow, I’d survived the Extreme difficulty escort mission.

I blinked slowly, my eyelids heavy.

Yes, I needed to rest. Rest and recover. And then I could worry about my caretaker’s identity.

Hopefully, I was safe from Savage Santa, now. The image of his grinning face danced in my mind, as the two squires pulled his sleigh, whip marks carved into their backs.

I shook my head to clear away the thoughts.

There were better things to think about, surely?

Yeah… Like my gaming monitor… 4k resolution… 40” screen… curves in all the right places…

And with those peaceful thoughts, I drifted back to sleep.