It was pissing down with rain when I lost my head. It was always miserable, but on that afternoon the pitter-patter had grown to a crescendo. Thunder boomed at irregular intervals, and flashes of lightning licked the ground with serpentine tongues. The storm was unnatural, unrelenting, and a product of my master’s magic.

The raging storm set the mood nicely for the deadly fight taking place at the edge of the quarry. A lone figure stood against a horde. In the pit below my kin worked the stone. The steady clink of pickaxes beat out a dull tune. They were heedless of the battle being fought above their heads.

Fighting for justice, the forces of good, and puppies everywhere was Jalina. Jalina was a holy paladin of Lhasa and a noble heroine right out of an Altain epic. She wielded a flaming sword in one hand and a golden shield in the other. If she returned home victorious, the bards would sing songs of her valor, and princes would swoon at her feet.

On the other side of this momentous battle were my huddled kin, and of course, the genuine hero of this story, me! We came in all shapes, sizes, and levels of decomposition. The master didn’t discriminate; any mortal corpse can make a passable zombie. A few scant hours ago, we had numbered over a thousand, but only a hundred remained in fighting condition. The paladin had done a good job hacking us to pieces.

Far from the battle, safe in his tower and warm from the fire of his hearth, my master watched. He used powerful scrying magic and the system to control the battle from afar, and to direct his minions. Now that the battle had devolved into a meat grinder, he had no further need to intervene, but still, he watched.

Our forces were weakened, but so was the paladin. Paladins excelled in short bursts of violence, not long drawn out engagements. She still had plenty of health, but her other resources were drained. She hadn’t rested since she entered my master’s domain two days ago, and the horde had markedly drawn out this skirmish.

Exhausted or not, the paladin could have likely finished the rest of us off if it wasn’t for me. I had started the fight in the middle of the horde, but the middle had gradually become the new front. After the last zombie in front of me got bisected, I finally had a clear shot.

I shot forward and charged into her with my [Rush Attack]. She didn’t react quite fast enough, and the ability knocked her on her arse. The ability barely made a dent in her health, but it didn’t need to do more than that. There was a deafening crack, louder than even the thunder above, and the ground fell out beneath our feet.

The storm had eroded the limestone cliff enough that a whole chunk of it broke loose, taking me, the paladin, and a dozen other zombies with it. Even the poor zombies working down below got taken out by falling rocks. So what happened to me? Ironically enough, it was the paladin herself who saved me.

In a last act of defiance, the golden paladin swung her flaming sword and cut my head clean off as we fell. The momentum of the swing carried my head clear of the rubble, which promptly buried the paladin under several tonnes of hard rock. My severed head bounced free and landed face down in a huge puddle of rainwater.

About an hour later, my master arrived. Voulos was a scrawny-looking orc who cut an imposing figure. He wore pitch black robes and underneath his pale grey skin was several shades distant from the healthy green of a typical orc. He looked almost sickly, but he carried himself with a confident arrogance. The adorable fruit bat that perched on his shoulder slightly ruined his sinister appearance.

“It is as I have always said, wisdom isn’t the same as common sense; correlation does not equal causation. She should have recognised that we outmatched her yesterday, but I’ll admit I had some trepidation at first. The Lhassan order hasn’t thrown such a high ranking [Paladin] at me in years. Perhaps she hoped to ascend into the third tier by killing me. It’s a shame they didn’t send another army, but I suppose they learnt their lesson last time, didn’t they, Rufus?” Voulos chuckled to Rufus. The fluffball squeaked in reply.

“The armour I can turn into celestial gems, then I can corrupt them into nether crystals. Any rings or trinkets will go into the vault. It feels like a waste to disenchant the [Sword of Saints], but I’m not sure I can make use of it any other way. I’ll keep it for now and decide what to do with it later. It will take weeks of tedious rituals to replenish the horde, but overall, I’d say it went pretty well. I could scarcely believe my eyes when I saw half the cliff disappear down the quarry,” Voulos said.

When he reached what remained of the horde up top, Voulos organised them into a loose square formation. Then, starting with the zombie closest to him, he assessed the situation.

“[Analyse]. [Analyse]. [Analyse]. Hmm, these were stuck at the back, probably not in experience range… Neither did these though and they were right next to the edge… It’s bad enough I missed the kill, worse still if none of my minions got the credit either. I could have used a couple of [Hulking Zombies] to work the mine, or perhaps another [Feral Zombie] in the forest to keep those damn druids off my back,” He said.

Voulos continued to examine his horde, but the furrow of his brow only deepened as he did. Eventually, he had used [Analyse] on every zombie still standing. “Either none of these minions were close enough, or she is still alive down there,” Voulos said while glancing over the cliff's edge. “I don’t think she could have survived, no one could survive that much rock falling on top of them, but it’s worth checking. I need to dig her up for her items, regardless.”

Voulos quickly reached the bottom of the quarry by simply floating down, light as a feather. He gathered up the nearest quarry zombies that the avalanche hadn’t buried and set them to work excavating. Voulos could have used his magic to help, but avoiding hard work was why he had minions in the first place.

With his attention fixed on the rubble, Voulos didn’t notice me immediately. It didn’t help that with me covered in dust; I blended in perfectly as just another oddly shaped rock. It was his bat, Rufus, that discovered me lying there.

“This is an excellent find, well done Rufus! Have some more mango.” He said as he cut off a slice for the bat. “It’s still alive! You must have had a very lucky landing, my minion,” He said, dusting me off. “If you fell with the avalanche, you must have been close enough, let’s see.” Voulos activated his [Analyse] skill before continuing. “Level 16. At least that confirms the paladin has perished… What a waste of experience though…” He sighed. “You have average attributes for a zombie, but without a body, you won’t be able to use most of your racial abilities. What am I to do with you?”

Voulos put his head in his hands, groaned, and then let out a laugh. “I suppose I should make the best of this. Maybe I can experiment with an unorthodox build,” He said, and with that he picked me up and flew back to his tower, leaving the zombies on the beach behind.

After making himself comfortable back in his room, Voulos placed me on his desk, next to a few enormous tomes and a glowing green crystal. “This will occupy me for a while, Rufus. Why don’t you stretch your wings? It’s time for me to do some tinkering,” He said as he sat down next to me.

‘[Character Sheet].’ A voice in my head rumbled out of nowhere. In response, my vision went blue with white squiggles. I could feel my master’s presence focusing on the squiggles. My simple mind registered that the squiggles were not something I needed to attack, so I didn’t pay them much attention.

After some time watching the squiggles, Voulos focused his attention on several specific lines. The squiggles that Voulos seemed interested in were “Wisdom: 4”, “Intelligence: 2”, and “Charisma: 2”, but his focus kept flicking back to “Available Stat Points: 5”. ‘Add 3 points to intelligence and 1 point to wisdom.’ The voice in my head commanded, and the squiggles transformed.

At that moment, both my wisdom and intelligence reached five, putting them both above the first attribute threshold. I went from being a walking corpse animated by necromancy into a creature with the mind of an animal, capable of some degree of independent thought and self-awareness. With my charisma stuck at two, I had about as much empathy as a cockroach, but based on his social skills, I think Voulos has always considered charisma to be a dump stat.

Voulos noticed the sudden change in my thoughts and stopped to listen to them for a while. I can’t imagine he heard anything meaningful, as they were a jumbled mess. After a moment, he refocused his attention back on the squiggles. As he did so, my new intelligence manifested, and I began recognising the patterns as more than random shapes on the page.

Zombies aren’t inherently capable of speaking a language, but raised zombies have a trait called [Made To Serve]. This trait does a few things, such as giving us a basic understanding of languages, and miscellaneous bits of understanding to make us useful minions. Combined with my new intelligence score, this allowed me to make some sense of the screen in front of me. My ability to read was on the level of a small child, but with enough time, I could work it out.

However, time was clearly something Voulos had no interest in giving me, as he had already moved on. He focused his attention on an area of my sheet underneath two squiggles that said: “Evolution Available”. He scanned the list much faster than I could hope to follow before the ceiling of Voulos’s room replaced the white and blue screen.

“Well then, my little minion, let's consider your options. Obviously, a feral or hulk would be a complete waste of time,” Voulos said as he picked me up and held me up to his face to inspect me. The unkempt orc needed to either groom his wild beard or shave it off. I was used to the smell of rotting flesh, but whatever lived in his beard was worse.

“You still have your [Bite] so a [Rot Zombie] evolution isn’t out of the question. Though… the last time I experimented with those, I was ill for weeks. I’m only resistant, not immune to diseases. The whole Fairvale incident got a little out of hand, to be honest. Who knew everyone would get so riled up over a little plague? Still, perhaps it’s for the best to avoid that one,” Voulos said, and he let out an audible sigh.

“Moving on, we could go elemental. Elemental variants are always strong, but a bit too specialised for my taste. Too easy to counter. The only evolution I would consider would be a [Storm Zombie], but then there is the gem requirement to consider.” He paused as he considered the choices. “Unfortunately, the only storm shard I have is powering my storm. I won’t waste that on a zombie, especially not a minion in such poor condition,f” Voulos concluded.

I wasn’t smart enough to fully understand his comments, but I didn’t miss the dismissive tone. The blank expression I usually wore shifted as I furrowed my eyebrows at my master. Either he didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he continued lecturing, oblivious.

“The extra point I gave you in wisdom unlocks the [Screamer Zombie] evolution. They are overall underwhelming. I used to use them as scouts, but I came to prefer a feral build. I can teach any zombie past the wisdom threshold to use a [Relay Stone], so what good is [Alarm]? Poor damage, less range, and it’s hardly subtle. Then, there are the peculiar behavioural quirks I would rather not be dealing with.” He smiled wryly.

“I haven't tried an intelligence build before and hoped that sinking 3 points into it would unlock something worthwhile. It’s certainly… interesting. A [Vestigial Zombie] focuses on using mana to enhance their mind. [Consume Brain] lets you steal abilities from others, and [Remnant] revives an ability you had in your previous life. Those could both be rather potent under the right circumstances,” He pondered.

The [Vestigial Zombie] intrigued Voulos and, as a wizard himself, he had more than a small bias towards intelligence focused builds. This was a relatively rare opportunity for him to explore a new minion build. Zombies are dungeon fodder, and getting one to evolve was not a trivial feat.

“Comparing wisdom and intelligence based evolutions has me wondering what your charisma based evolution is. Unfortunately, even if I use your last attribute point on charisma, you will still be two short of the threshold,fs” Voulos remarked. He scratched his chin a moment, then his eyes went wide as he remembered something. He disappeared from my view to go look for something. I could hear him opening a chest, followed by the jingling of metal as he rummaged through it.

When Voulos appeared again in front of me, he was holding a gaudy gold ring and a gleeful smile. “I almost forgot I had this. It’s a charisma boosting ring. [Ring of the Jester]. I looted it off the priest of a rather vexing trickster god. I almost tried it on myself, but luckily detected the curse in time. If I [Flesh Warp] to attach it to your ear... then you [Attune] it… and then if I put your last attribute point into charisma… let's see what we get, shall we?” He said.

Crossing over the ability threshold for charisma was a strange feeling. With all three mental scores past the first threshold, the effect was far more pronounced as they worked together. Experiencing actual emotions for the first time was disorientating by itself, let alone working in concert with my new wisdom and intelligence.

I didn’t have any time to get my bearings before my vision filled with blue and white once again. Voulos wasted no time and skimmed over the new evolution option. “[Overseer Zombie]. Unsurprisingly, it gives a bonus to charisma and makes you a soul based spellcaster,” He said in a conflicted tone.

“I’m torn between an overseer and a vestigial. [Consume Brain] sounds amazing on paper, but I’m wondering how it will hold up in practice. The duration isn’t bad, but it’s still temporary. I would need to supply you with a steady flow of brains. Annoying, but not a dealbreaker. The real problem is [Remnant]. If I knew what abilities you had when you were alive, this would be easy, but what if you had useless abilities? What if you were a poor farmer who never even unlocked the system?” Voulos debated.

“Overseer, on the other hand, would involve less hassle for more reliable results. [Overseer’s Aura] gives a small strength boost to all zombies in range. The range is mediocre but scales well. Zombies usually have a strength of around ten, so that’s a ten percent bump in raw damage.” Voulos tapped his fingers against the desk as he considered this. “[Enrage Zombie] is an impressive single target buff. You could buff a [Hulking Zombie] to hit as hard as a level 1 [Rock Golem].”

“I feel like I’m going for the less exciting option, but [Vestigial Zombie] feels like a trap,” Voulos said, and I felt him slipping into my mind to take control again. ‘Select [Overseer Zombie] as your evolution, Then pick [Flesh Scent], [Supernatural Senses], [Chilling Gaze], and [Corpse Explosion] as your elite ability.' The voice called out one choice after another and the words in front of me danced all over the page. ‘You have unlocked no interesting copper tier specialities so just take [Undead Resilience]’

Voulos was about to close my sheet for the last time when his eyes were drawn to an envelope icon on the top right side of my sheet. “Oh, what's this? A notification!” As he focused on it, another swarm of words descended in front of me.

Congratulations! Due to your combined mental scores, you are now the smartest zombie on Mithras! As a reward, you have earned the title [King/Queen of the Braindead]. This is a variant of the [King/Queen] title and is unique. You will lose this title if any other [Zombie] obtains a combined mental score greater than your own. You also earn the trait [Not Braindead], to help you keep hold of your new title.

Voulos broke the connection to my mind, and once again he went searching around his room for something. After a quick search, he found what he was looking for and returned with a heavy-looking book.

“This is the Tome of the Optimizer, ninth edition. The full version, not the censored garbage the guild doles out. Page 156… it isn’t under K for king,” He said before turning to a different page. “Page 23, B for Braindead doesn’t have it either. That trait is powerful just on its own. Few mortal traits give four whole ability points.” Voulos said with envy in his voice. “Then there is the title that came with it… giving such power to a zombie is ludicrous,” Voulos said with a laugh. “The system has a strange sense of humour.”

After he had a good chuckle, Voulos dived back into my character sheet. ‘I just need to add the title to your name… Ah, I never gave you a name. I hate naming things. Who even bothers naming minions? You are a Zombie… Z… Zed? King Zed. There, all done,’ Voulos said, and he added a brand new squiggle to my sheet.

I felt a shift occur deep within my mind. My thoughts suddenly felt clearer and unrestrained as Voulos’s control over me dropped. I pushed him out of my mind and the room snapped back into view. Before I had time to register what had happened, I was falling to the floor as he dropped me.

“[Mindflay]” Voulos shouted, and in the next instant, I fell unconscious.

“Are you awake?” I opened my eyes to see my master looking at me. Rather than lying on the floor, I found myself placed back on his table. “Excellent. I admit I may have overreacted. I thought I had killed you at first. Before we go any further, I need to cast something. [Geas]: do not change your name.” Voulos’ words sank into my mind and I felt a new spell settle over me.

“That should do it. You can never be too careful. [Minion] should compel you to follow orders, but an extra layer of security never hurts. Unfortunately, it seems that the [King] title overrules your [Minion] status. It’s rather frustrating. I would have loved to experiment with the Kingdom mechanic. It would have simplified managing my land a great deal,” Voulos said as he let out a disappointed sigh.

“Let's focus on the positive though. You have a powerful trait and a unique title with amazing benefits. I’m sure I will figure out how to make use of it safely at some point. You will only lose the title if another zombie overtakes you, which is very unlikely. You took the title when you hit seventeen combined mental attribute points. That means the previous King or Queen had sixteen mental or less. It shouldn’t be hard to keep you ahead of your kin; I’ve given you a rather large head start.”

Zed

19:16, 42nd of Anoxi, 1465 3A

Total Level: 16 (Bronze)

Levels: Zombie 10, Overseer 6

Experience: 122,313/159,700

Type: Overseer Zombie (C)

Attributes:

Resources:

Dexterity: 6

Stamina: N/A

Strength: 13

Power: N/A

Vitality: 14

Health: 10/428

Wisdom: 7

Willpower: 4/214

Intelligence: 6

Mana: 7/205

Charisma: 9

Soul: 7/183

Decay: 31% (Stage 1)

Affinities: Nether (100%), Poison (50%), Fire (-25%), Holy (-100%)

Titles:

King of the Braindead (Inactive): Access to Kingdom subsystem.

Traits:

Made to Serve: +1 Intelligence, +1 Charisma. Understands system common, and the primary language of its creator (Orcish). Can follow simple commands based on the creator's intelligence divided by 10 (3 words long). Gives access to a portion of the knowledge contained within the host brain, better preserved brains retain more information.

Flesh Construct: Sustained by nether magic, does not need to eat, drink, sleep or breath. Does not regenerate Health. Does not use Stamina or Might, but instead uses Decay.

Overseer (New): +2 Charisma.

Not Braindead: +1 Wisdom, +1 Intelligence and +2 Charisma.

Skills:

Supernatural Senses (New): +1 Wisdom and amplifies the user’s senses by x2.

Undead Resilience: 50% reduction to all non-holy damage taken.

Focus here to see options available for level 15…

Abilities:

Unarmed Strike - Copper- Level 1 (Unavailable):

0% Decay

1 Second Cooldown

Strikes at the target with an unarmed limb for 26 bludgeoning damage.

Rush Attack - Copper - Level 1 (Unavailable):

0% Decay

10 Second Cooldown

Lunges at a target within 2 meters for 29 bludgeoning damage with a chance to push back or knock over the target.

Bite - Copper - Level 1:

0% Decay

5 Second Cooldown

Bites the target for 31 piercing damage.

Flesh Scent - Copper - Level 1 (New):

No Cost

30 Second Cooldown

Amplifies and identifies the smell of any flesh by x2 for 12 seconds.

Chilling Gaze - Copper - Level 1 (New):

No Cost

60 Second Cooldown

A glare that adds 7 fear to the target. Requires eye contact.

Corpse Explosion (Elite) - Copper (New)

100% Health

No Cooldown

Kills the user and converts all remaining health into an explosion of nether energy and bone that deals damage equal to double the health consumed in a 7 meter radius. This ability kills the caster.

Enrage Zombie - Bronze - Level 1 (New, Unavailable):

50 Soul

No Cooldown

The user lets out a rage-filled shout at a target zombie to increase its Strength, Dexterity, and Vitality by +5 for 18 seconds.

Overseer’s Aura - Bronze - Level 1 (New):

1 Soul / Second

No Cooldown

+1 Strength to all zombies within 9 meters.

Focus here to see options available for level 12…

Attunements (1/3):

Ring of the Jester (Cursed): +2 Charisma but curses the wearer with [Jester’s Curse].

Status Effects:

Minion: Magically compelled to follow commands from [Voulos].

Jester’s Curse: The jester has cursed this character. The curse can only be lifted by a Sphinx’s laugh.

Geas (Greater): The target will die if they break this geas: Do not change the name on your character sheet.