Book Nine: Reaching Out

I rub the dark metal bit between my fingers nervously as we approach the refinery.

It's been a little over a week since the party. Yesterday at church, Reena told me the next battle will be on Hurven twenty ninth. Twenty days from now. Not even three weeks. I have to stop delaying and tell him.

John sets me down so I can go inside. He hasn't said anything, but there's no way he could have missed how I'm feeling. He escorts me into Eryk's office, then immediately takes his leave to stand out front, so it's just me and Eryk.

I swallow hard. I can't put this off anymore. With my hands squeezing together so hard the metal bites into my fingers, I turn and speak up, probably too loud.

"H-hey, I-" I drop my voice lower, and try again. "About the party..." Eryk puts down his pen and leans forward at his desk, listening intently but not interrupting. He must have been waiting for me to bring it up.

"So, umm, that metal at the party. When I started crying..." I can't meet his gaze, my stomach is twisting into knots. I've been talking to Beth about all my feelings for the last week. I feel much better about things now that I've actually started talking through them, but still... I can't get this out of my head. That he'll be angry, or disappointed in me, or, or... I don't know.

He's a human who's never even truly experienced magic like I have. He probably won't understand when I tell him, just like Beth didn't understand. They've never felt the sickening wrongness of reality coming apart in their hands.

No matter how many times I tell myself that, I can't convince myself it's true.

I squeeze my eyes shut, teeth clenched tight, trying to push the words out. Tell him what I have to tell him so I can move on like Beth taught me to do. I just... don't want to make him sad, or afraid of me...

Then my shoulders fall and voice comes, easier than before, when I resign myself to to his reaction.

"When I checked that metal ore, one of the mana types I got from it wasn't like what I get from other metals." I speak slowly, hands moving to my basket, to draw out the manastone from inside. I place it down on the table in front of me. "It was just like this manastone." I stare at the small, pointed gray stone to avoid looking at him and say it.

"This manastone was made from a living thing. While I was testing things, I used soul magic on a hobin and turned it into this."

I pause for a while. I'm stuck - between being unsure if he's going to speak up now, and how I should go on if he doesn't. Over a tick later, Eryk still hasn't said anything, so I haltingly push on.

"That metal gave me the same type of mana, meaning I didn't have to do that-" As soon as I picture it, that feeling and the icy claws are in the back of my mind, telling me how to do it again. I can't get any more words out. I'm crying, but I haven't gotten to my point!

All I can do is try swallowing the lump in my throat and wiping at my face with my sleeves, willing the tears to stop.

Before I manage it, Eryk comes around his desk and kneels down to rub my head.

"So that's what you've been thinking about, huh?" he asks lightly, with a faint smile. "I'm glad you told me." There's no trace of fear, no anger, no disappointment. He really doesn't care about what I did? No, what if he's just hiding his feelings...?

I swallow again. Even if he is disgusted, he isn't saying anything about it. I have to move on.

With a clench of my fists, I manage to keep speaking this time. "I... yeah." I nod into his hand. It's feels so good... When I open my eyes again, he pulls the hand back and I look up at him. "That wasn't really my point though." With one more wipe of my eyes, I cough to clear my throat and feel more steady again. This is the important part I needed to get past that to reach. "I realized that the source was from something in the ore that you don't use, so it must be in the slag."

Eryk's gentle smile widens. His tone remains softer and more comforting than usual. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Let's take a look at it later, alright?"

I nod. "Yeah, thanks a lot, Eryk."

He chuckles and gives me another pat, ruffling my hair, before he returns to his seat. With my earlier tension slowly fading, I sit much more comfortably and calm down, before Eryk speaks up again. "So, Aria, anything new with that Dica Type Seventy?" he asks, pointing out the bit of metal I've gone back to rubbing between my fingers. It's very dark, and fits nicely in the palm of my hand.

"Not really," I sigh, though I'm glad for the change of topic. Last week, we tested out mixes of tin and iron, then mollite and iron. While they didn't produce anything particularly useful to Eryk, the mollite-iron mixtures could carry mana. Oddly, the ones where we mixed a bit of iron into the mollite actually worked a little better than plain mollite. That disappeared quickly with more iron though. But the big, important thing that came out of those tests, were our samples containing seventy to eighty percent iron.

I hold it up to look at it again as I consider it. The metal was originally a dull gray somewhat darker than usual, but the outside quickly rusted to near black, kind of like how nuvrite turns dark purple. I wonder if there's any connection there? Even though they're made of different metals...?

"I thought about it, but I still don't really get it. It worked on everything I could think of," I tell him. After we tested it out a bit last Firoday, he sent me home with a little piece of it to mess with it more. But what I found is just confusing...

It's super hard to push mana through, even more than mollite, and burns up basically all of it to create really powerful mana fields. That could have been useful on its own, but it had one far more important effect.

In mana fields, including its own, it attracts things like a magnet does, but it works on everything. To prove my point, I push some mana through it. All at once, my hand and arm are pulled forward like it's yanking on me. My basket and the stuff inside slide a little closer, and the table beneath shifts when one leg lifts up from the floor. Even the manastone, not too far from where I'm holding the metal, jumps right off the table to stick to the metal chunk, before the effect of the mana field wears off a moment later, and it clunks back to the tabletop with a dull thud. The whole table goes with it, thunking back down on all four legs again.

"It even works on this," I tap the manastone with a knuckle, "and it's basically solid mana, so it definitely seems to attract anything," I tell him again. "I've been thinking, but I still have no idea how we could use it. And it's a mana effect too." I shrug to tell him that means we can't use it freely, even if we did have something in mind for it.

Given the feeling on my hand, maybe if I used enough mana, I could use it to pull myself around? Or pull other people? I wonder if that would be useful in battle? So far, that's all that's coming to mind... The range around the metal isn't very big though...

With a small sigh, Eryk shrugs it off. "That's fine, maybe we'll figure something out eventually."

It's not long after our conversation that Claire shows up, and we move to the back room for my lessons. I had another monthly proficiency test last week, and we've been doing a lot more Ternian since. She's teaching me bigger words like 'cultivate' and 'perpetuate,' that are a lot harder to remember. I think she's working up to getting into more detail with a lot of the topics we've only glossed over until now.

The other thing since the party has been 'idioms.' She said they were sayings that don't really make sense based on the words used in them, people just kind of learn their meanings. Like that 'black moffa' one Yuka mentioned at the party. 'Live and learn, 'out of hand,' 'drop in the bucket,' 'the kuran in the room...' There are a surprising number of them. I've heard some in passing, like I knew 'cutting corners' already, but I had no idea there were so many kinds...

Today it's just more spelling and grammar, and I'm really starting to get used to how a lot of different words follow similar patterns of spelling, which is making things easier. When the lesson ends at the eighth bell, Claire smiles down at me. "Good work today, Aria. Here's your homework for tonight."

I take the short stack of papers and nod strongly. "Thanks, Miss Claire. See you tomorrow." We exchange polite curtsies as always, and she heads out.

After she's gone, Eryk sits for a bit as he finishes up with his paperwork, then stands. "Ok, Aria. So for today, I suppose we'll take a break from our research to check out the metal slag you mentioned."

"Really?" I blink a few times. "Even though we have so much work to do?"

"Of course. In case you forgot, you did mention that different ores contained different things we don't currently make use of. Do you have any idea how much profit we could make if we found a use for the slag instead of throwing it all out?" He raises a brow and chuckles when he points that out.

"Right, if it's all just waste, and then you find a way to sell it..." I mumble. That makes a lot of sense... Especially if we end up rolling that into our star metal research too. "Sure, let's do it."

We head over into the workshop, where Eryk waves down Patrick. "What's it going to be today?" he asks as he approaches. Just looking around, the entire room of workers know about what's going on now. They keep working, but they turn constant glances our way as they do.

"We're taking a break from our star metal research," Eryk tells him while tying a smock around me without even looking. "Today, we need metal slag."

"Oh?" Patrick glances to me briefly, before he's back on Eryk. "Did you come up with a use for it?" he questions, already guessing where we're going. Patrick always seems to know exactly what Eryk's thinking. How long have they been working together...?

Eryk shrugs. "Not yet, that's what we're looking into. Aria thinks there might be something useful in it we haven't gotten out yet."

"Alright, I'll get on it," Patrick says, and starts going around to the workers. While he's grabbing others to help, I start to feel weird and have to shake myself. Right, it's too hot in here without some fire mana, especially with this heavy smock on...

I follow Eryk over to a spot around the middle of the line of furnaces, digging through my basket as we walk. Since it's been getting a lot colder this last week and my nuvrite is starting to not carry mana, Ebbin made some of the alba I ordered into a few of little balls I can use instead.

I roll one briefly between two fingers, still appreciating how well he forged them. There are five, every one being almost identical. They're the same size as one of my fingertips, pretty much perfectly smooth spheres. It's really impressive. I'd think he cast them, and maybe he did, but is there any way you could pour something into a mold where the top isn't open to the air, leaving it flat? I've tried imagining it a few times, but haven't been able to come up with anything.

In any case, even if I didn't need the alba, the connection through the whitish metal is so much clearer than nuvrite. It's more efficient, burning up about half as much mana, and doesn't heat up and burn me when I try to push a lot through at once. Seriously, alba is just better than nuvrite in every way. There's really only one downside. Since it doesn't burn as much mana, it creates weaker mana fields. Not a problem when I press it right against the metal I'm using. If I want to make a strong field, I'll just use my mollite.

I press one of the little silvery white balls against my ignium. I've had the ingot for a while, so the outside has rusted from silver to a pale yellow, but it still works fine. It is pretty big though. I should cut my ingots down to something more like these alba balls to make them easier to carry around...

Moving past the random thought, I press the metals together, and generate some fire mana. All at once, the stifling heat inside the workshop seems to vanish, and I feel perfectly fine. I give myself a little shake when it comes so suddenly. Thank you, fire mana...

Once I'm done, I glance up at Eryk, who's looking off to one side, expression like he just thought of something while I was distracted. I tilt my head a bit, and watch him take a few steps over to a nearby crate of ore, and pluck one of the little rocks from inside. He comes back over and hands it to me.

"That's copper ore, it's the one from the party," he explains. Looking at it in my hand, I gulp nervously before I realize it, then turn up to him again. He pauses before he gives a little 'go on' gesture with his hands, so I nod weakly. I touch the alba to the copper ore, hesitate a moment longer, then push some mana through.

What I get back is the same as before. Water, absolute, and that special light mana. Just like the manastone I made from that hobin. I swallow again, before nodding up at Eryk. "Yeah, it works." When I feel tears threatening, I shake myself, and make an excuse about the extra water I just picked up, and dump it in my well so I don't end up with too much. Even though it was just a bit... The absolute, I just push off to the side. Then I finally set my focus on the special light. Just looking at it though...

I want to get rid of it so I don't have to keep looking at it, but the memory of that hobin holds me back. I can't just throw it away... Instead, I recall that I also made special fire mana the same way. Based on the way they work, it was just like souls. It's the one bit of mana buried inside them that determines what type they'll be. I don't want this reminder, but I'm not willing to get rid of it either, so I'll change it instead. I reach inside, find that little mana structure inside, with a tiny bit of light mana, and grab some of my water mana. I shove that inside and use it to convert the light, and all at once, the whole thing changes. It's no longer a glowing light, but a big, flowy, watery blob of mana instead.

That... reminds me a little less, sort of...

When I shake my head and look back up, I realize that Eryk's staring at me. "Y-yeah?" I ask awkwardly.

"Nothing, just looked like you were working on something," he dismisses it. It only took about a tick, but that's a while to stare off like that...

"S-sorry." I turn away, not really wanting to get into it. Eryk sighs lightly and comes close, rubbing my head with one hand, before nudging me to move. I go, walking with him over toward where Patrick has brought another man and they've set up in the corner, away from the furnaces, with some big troughs of molten metal. Or, I guess that's slag. When it's all melted down, I can't really tell it from the metal. It's just bright orange liquid.

The men are working together to carefully empty one of the troughs into a wide bottomed, square container. It's about as far across as half my height, maybe a half meter by a half meter. So, not particularly large compared to the big molds cooling at the other end of the workshop. I doubt we'll even need this much, but I suppose once we have it, we can ladle out portions into crucibles to test...

"So first thing to test would be..." I think aloud as I watch them work.

"Probably thorough testing," Eryk answers with a look that tells me he means mana testing. If that's the case, we'll need to be extra careful... Thinking as much, I kneel with my basket again. I'll want fire, lightning, and air mana in case things go bad... I make a pretty good chunk of each, and nod a few times. With mana testing, we'll need crucibles, extra ingots, and-

My thoughts cut short.

The men have finished with the first trough of slag, and are starting on the second. My eyes lock on the surface as they begin to pour, the tiniest details overly clear. That's the only reason I catch it.

Time feels like it halts. My intuition screams and body moves automatically, before I have the time to think at all. I grab the black and yellow metals from on top of my basket, and I'm leaping forward. They're just a couple meters away.

Where the two orangy liquids are connecting, their surfaces are beginning to bubble, faster and faster within just an instant. Even with the air mana pushing my reactions blindingly fast, I know I won't make it in time. One man is at the far end of the long trough, but Patrick is right there. One leaping step and I've covered half the distance, before the molten hot liquid begins to explode outward. Patrick has barely had the time to flinch.

I throw a hand out and shove mana through the black metal. It yanks me forward so hard I go flying off my feet, far faster than I can run. I dump the rest of my mana into my other hand, using the alba and ignium to convert to fire.

There is no time to think. No time to plan. Nothing but pure instinct reactions. I cross the distance in a blur, eyes locked on the tiny flecks of burning orange as they arc upward, spraying over the short distance, closing in on Patrick. I barely make it, my hand with the black metal thrust toward his back. Pulling mana straight from my well, it all keeps rushing out through my hands. I know I'm overdrawing when the pain hits, but I don't care.

A massive jolt feels like it's going to yank my arm right out at the shoulder. But it works. The metal pulls, and Patrick suddenly lurches backward, away from the splattering metal. From my odd angle, the same pull sends me spinning, part sideways, part upward as my whole body whips around the black metal in my hand.

I feel the flecks of molten slag where they go straight through my clothes and connect with my skin, burning on my arms, legs, and all over my torso, despite my heaps of fire mana. In flailing panic, I shove the special water mana out at it, forming an explosion of steam as it pushes the drops away from me.

It buys me just enough time to go flying backward as my whole body flings around the around the little piece of metal in my hand. I arc through the air, tumbling as I lose track of the ground, until it comes up to meet me, and I go crashing to a stop against something hard.

A few more moments pass as my head spins, all my senses flailing, trying to catch up with what just happened, and completely failing. Up and down keep flipping all around me as I roll around uselessly, trying to right myself, and shove all the mana down into my well to stop my barrier shouting at me for holding too much. My skin stings everywhere. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Before I know it, there's yelling, and hands grab at me, pulling me some way that might be upright. I can't stop wobbling though, as Eryk's face fills my vision, and wave after wave of dizziness crash over me. He's speaking, I think it's my name. I try to form words, but can't manage to bring the sounds together over my heart pounding in my ears, so fast I can't tell one beat apart from the last.

I have no idea how long that goes on for, until my body begins to come back under control. My heart slows and my senses slip back to normal bit by bit. I realize that I'm sucking down air so fast that my throat is getting sore. The panic and shock are just beginning to hit me. While there's lots of noise and movement, I lie down on the ground, staring at the ceiling.

It was all so fast, my body couldn't even fully hit battle-mode. Just a fraction of a tick from start to end. I have to wait out the feeling, my body fighting to catch up, my blood running hot and fast, then slowly cooling, when it realizes that the danger has already passed.

Eventually, everything slows, and I recover. I feel tired and hurt all over, but just from the feeling, I escaped without any serious injuries.

More importantly, I saved Patrick.

Thank you, black metal... I think to myself slowly, as I push up to a sitting position. I gaze around, feeling slow and tired after pushing myself so suddenly. It looks like everyone cleared out of the way while the molten metal splattered all over the place, covering the walls and floor around that corner of the workshop. Some of them are still attempting to manage the running furnaces, but everyone is clearly focused on the explosion in the corner of the workshop, and on me.

When they look my way, I freeze up. I didn't have any time to consider how much they would see. What they would think. When Eryk sees me upright, he comes rushing over, and kneels down. "Aria, are you alright?" he asks, locking eyes with me.

"Y-yeah, fine," I stammer the words out between pants successfully this time. As soon as I do, I find myself looking past him. "Is everyone alright?"

"They're fine," he practically scoffs. "I can't believe you did that, you could have died."

"No, I..." I keep blinking, but can't even mentally picture what he's saying right now. "There was danger."

"Clearly," he sighs, a hand rubbing his face. I stare, but whatever his expression is, I can't understand it right now. We both pause when Patrick's huge frame appears right behind Eryk. He kneels way down close by, fists to the ground, and lowers his head to me slightly.

"You saved my life," he says, his tone almost a little flat. I think he's still in shock too. "Thank you."

"No problem..." I find myself mumbling back.

The workers all get to dealing with things and cleaning up, while I sit just a bit longer, before I shake off the shock. I'm used to dealing with that already. What I can't manage is the flipping sensation that won't go away. Like I'm rolling over backward, again and again. Up and down subtly spinning around me, even when I'm not moving. It isn't long before Eryk calls John in, and he scoops me gently up from the floor, so we can go to the clinic to have me looked at. Right, I did get hurt, even if it wasn't too bad this time...