It isn't until the next day that Myra comes up with something. A possible solution to at least one of the town's problems.

"How about I convert some of the animals to help?" I'm sitting in John's arms at the time, on my way to the refinery, when she asks.

I... have no idea. More animals would help. They could protect the town better. Of course, she would have to choose the strongest ones to convert, nothing that would lose in a fight against the other dangerous animals. Not to mention monsters. And providing them with enough mana would eat into Myra's reserves. Even if her well is deeper than any normal animals I've seen, I don't know how many she would be able to convert.

And Reena said-

Who cares what she said? She was in the middle of lying to me and betraying me when she said it.

But she still said it was dangerous.

I bite my lip, conflicted. Do I even believe what Reena said? Should I do it anyway? Prove her wrong? Show that she was just lying to me again?

No no no, I shake my head emphatically and draw a raised eyebrow from John. Claire told me not to make decisions based on spite. If I choose to do this, it has to be because of what I believe is right.

And... I want to protect the town. This is the most reliable method I can think of to do that. Still, I don't want to convert the animals, just to have them get killed. Just imagining feeling that again - dying, makes me shudder. Rather than converting the animals in the forest that might not be able to beat other animals or monsters in a fight, I could have Chisa or Myra go to the mountains and get some of the magical creatures there.

"Oh, that would be great. There are a bunch from that fighting tournament that would gladly come help out," Myra chimes in. Fighting tournament? I can't really dredge it up from my memories right now, so Myra does instead, all images of slashing claws and bloody fangs. Right, that fighting tournament... "I won, by the way," she points out proudly. As if we all didn't expect that.

"Alright, here's the plan. You go with Brom, he'll help with the mana supply for converting. Chisa should stay here to keep an eye on the town. I don't know how many, maybe two or three more creatures." I am still a bit worried by Reena's warning, so I don't want to go crazy, taking half of the creatures in the mountains or something. Not that I'd have enough mana for that anyway. Besides, it will get Brom out of the forest now that it's occupied by much larger and more dangerous creatures than himself. He's already had a few close calls since he can't just hide like the hobins can.

"Sure, but it'll take a few days," she reminds me. I know, it will leave the town less defended while she's gone, but I'm trying to think at least a little further into the future. A few days with things worse so hopefully they'll be better afterward.

With that done, I lie back and let my head rest. Did I make the right decision...?

As expected, the attacks immediately grow worse without Myra around. I keep telling myself that it will be better in the long-run. I'm doing it for the people in town, even if it's worse for them right now.

It takes Myra and Brom a few days to fight their way through the deepest reaches of the forest. She's fine, but he has a really hard time against some of the things in there. Especially this one horrifying thing with way too many legs that ends up paralyzing him so Myra has to carry him on her back for a while.

But they eventually make it out to the mountains, climbing and climbing until they reach an area that is familiar to Myra. A flat area, a small stream from up higher collecting into a bright, clear pond in the middle. Small rock formations dot the surroundings, providing shelter from the sun and rain. I recognize the spot from her memories. She grew up here, and it's where they held that fighting tournament. Apparently they hold them from time to time. Sitting and meditating at the refinery after class, during the time that I would normally be working, I devote my attention to them.

Brom follows behind as Myra catches the attention of the other creatures that appear to call this place home. They come out one after another, eyeing both her and the much smaller animal with her. Silent, somewhat intelligent questions in their eyes. They can't speak, but they are clearly smart enough to question what is going on. Still, none of them challenge Myra, they know she's the strongest. They don't even move to threaten Brom.

"So, which ones?" She sends a silent question my way. I'm supposed to choose? She doesn't say anything, but I get a strange sense from Myra. Even though she's the biggest and strongest, I'm still the one in charge. It's my mana in her soul now. I'm the boss. The thought makes me uncomfortable, reminding me that I did convert her by force. Even if she's fine with it after the fact, who's to say if being part of me makes her alright with it? Even Myra doesn't speak up to deny my worries. She doesn't know either.

"I'm only doing this if they agree," I say firmly. A difficult thing, coming from an animal that can't really speak or think like a person can, but I think I have an idea. "Myra, which ones are the strongest?" She points them out mentally as she looks at them, memories of their fights playing back through her mind. How they acted outside of fights. What they were like growing up around her.

From among the strongest... I'm not sure. There are a few that never got along with Myra, or that just had nasty personalities. I definitely don't want them. Among the others, there are a couple that she thinks aren't too bad, but part of my attention has already turned away from them. I scan across the others. They aren't all like Myra.

Among the magical creatures, most are like her, with yellow spotted coats, there are some colored differently. Blue, with fewer spots, and smaller. Are they younger? Or weaker?

"No, just different," she responds. Not as physically strong, but they can take hits like I wouldn't believe, apparently. Fights against them always turn into grueling contests of stamina to see who can last longer. Her claws can hardly make it through their fur, probably part of their magical abilities that she doesn't have. They can definitely do the same thing with their claws though. They also weigh a ton.

"Alright..." I silently mumble to myself. Then there's something else. Completely different, just a few of them, mostly hanging back, up on the couple boulders scattered here and there, or on the tops of the nearby caves and overhangs. Smaller than the other creatures, about the size of Brom. They look like birds, but... not quite. It's hard to say exactly. They have scales beneath their feathers, with four legs and four wings. Big round, feathery heads and huge eyes. Nothing like Chisa, or any bird I've ever seen before.

With a thought to Myra, she pulls up some more memories of them. How they move, how they fly, how they fight. Probably not quite as good in a straight fight as one of her kind, but it would get us another pair of eyes in the sky if that's important, she points out. Even if they can't fly that close to town because they would draw attention a bird wouldn't. Myra isn't too sure what their magical abilities are beyond creating gusts of wind with their wings. She does point out one that's always been nice to her at least, even if he acts kind of difficult around others sometimes.

Myra assures me that every creature here is more than a match for any ordinary animal in the forest. The monsters might give some of them a hard time though. Mostly just the weak ones we aren't interested in.

After a lot of thinking, I pick out a few and Myra kind of growls at them in a way to communicate that she wants them to come with her. Two of her kind, one of the blue ones, and the nice bird one she pointed out.

To be perfectly honest, I don't expect the first of her kind to join us. I just... want to be sure. He's kind of twitchy and hard to work with. Or at least that's how Myra thinks about him. A fair description I think, just looking at him glance around nervously as he follows. Myra and Brom lead the four other magical creatures a short distance away, to a lower bit of flat space that juts out from the side of the mountain.

It's not the clearest, but she communicates that she wants help with something, and is offering them a chance to come with her. Three of the four indicate that they're interested in whatever is going on, while the nervous one isn't as sure. Then she takes some time, attempting to explain that she's going to do something, then asks them again. If they still want to come afterward, they are welcome.

It's hard to say if the four creatures really understand, but she paces forward to get started. To be completely sure, she starts with the nervous one. She presses a paw to his shoulder, reaches inside, down to his well. It's... really shallow actually. Like any normal animal. Down at his core, she burrows inside, using some colorless mana to convert his well.

Then he is me. He looks around. He can understand the change now. "Now that you can understand, what we need help with is protecting a town."

"It's up to you," I jump in to assure him. "We'll change you back now. If you want to, come with us. Otherwise, you're free to leave."

Myra takes his colorless mana, what he had outside of his well, and uses that to convert the well back. In an instant, the creature stops being me, suddenly its own separate existence again. It's... a very strange experience. Like... I don't know. What I imagine cutting off my arm might be like? Myra stands, watching the creature carefully as it straightens up slightly after becoming itself again.

Then it bolts into the distance as fast as it can. She doesn't move to stop it. The other creatures all stare up the mountain after its retreat. They may not have human faces and expressions, but the worry coming off every one of them is clear. Myra assures them again that they can refuse just like that one, before moving on.

The next is also like Myra, yellow with dark brownish black spots. He's larger though, more muscular. Her description is a bit... As she puts it, 'a sweet heart, and nothing in his head.' He is really strong though, one of the strongest, and the only one among them that didn't give off a kind of mean-spirited feel. Inside, his mana well isn't that deep either.

Once she converts him and I touch his mind... yup. Not a whole lot going on up there. It makes me a bit less certain if he's a good choice, but he does feel nice at least. Myra gives him the same explanation and converts him back. At that point, he just tilts his head a bit. Did he... even understand? He rumbles some sort of consent though, so I guess that's good enough... maybe?

The next up is a smaller blue female. She's kind of timid. Her mana well is pretty deep compared to the others.

I don't know why. Maybe the blue coat, or the way her mind feels, she reminds me of Selena a little bit. Once she's converted back, she shakes herself a little, like she's kind of scared or nervous, but eventually bows herself toward the ground to show she will obey Myra. That... I don't like that.

I have Myra back off, and Brom go forward instead. Faced with an animal half her size, that she could probably kill with a swat of her paw, we try again. He converts her one more time. He's not as accustomed to using words as Myra is, but he manages.

"We aren't looking for servants or slaves. We only want you if you want to join us," he explains clearly.

I come in too. "I know you can feel my thoughts. Why I'm doing this. I will not force you to help us. Do not come just because you're afraid of Myra or think you owe her something. Make your own choice. Please."

This time, she straightens up once we change her back. She gives a determined nod.

Last up is the bird... lizard... thing. He is... I think stoic is the word. Throughout the entire process, converting his somewhat small mana well, explaining everything, and converting him back, he remains still and attentive. He gives a single, decisive nod.

With three new additions to my... party? My self? It's still hard to say, but with the three of them joining, everyone heads back up to say a quick goodbye to the others living there. Letting them know that they'll be gone for a while, and that they'll be back to say hi whenever they have time.

And then they leave the mountain. On their way back down, Myra and Brom balance the mana between them so they'll all have plenty for anything they need to do. Then it's onto names. I ask them if they want to name themselves or if they'd rather I choose something for them.

"Hilde," the bird-lizard answers immediately, like he'd already thought it through. The way he says it though, the 'e' on the end is silent. I can't say for sure whether that name is even a male or female name, but that's fine. Weird, but fine.

"Hilde it is." I take a closer look at him. The others like him all had varied coloring. His is a dark green, with speckles of lighter brown around the outer edges of his feathers. I have him shift aside some of the feathers to find the tiny scales beneath are a dark black, with maybe a tiny bit of blue, just a little shiny.

I switch my attention to the large yellow one next. In the right lighting, I think his spots are a little lighter than Myra's. More brown than her black. He... isn't even thinking about a name, just leaving it to me. Alright, how about... Gar... Gras... Gran... Gram? "Does Gram work?" I ask. Myra stares at him, tilting her head to look at another angle.

"Yeah, Gram sounds alright," she agrees. He gives a few nods too, he likes the sound of it.

Last up is the smaller blue one. She's maybe half of Myra's size, not fully grown yet if the other ones like her are any indication. Those ones were closer to three quarters of Myra's size. Unlike the others, even among the other blue creatures, she doesn't have spots.

Well no, I guess she does. Except they're only a faint shade lighter than the rest of her coat. I think I see the edge of it when Myra stares at her very closely, the spots are extremely large, to the point that one covers most of her back, if the slight change in color I'm seeing is right.

However, she immediately shies away under Myra's watchful gaze. She's always been pretty intimidated by Myra, and kind of in awe of her. A fact that is now incredibly apparent since they can feel all of each other's thoughts. Unfortunately, that just makes the blue one even more embarrassed.

"Well, I am that awesome!" Myra declares proudly. Like she totally deserves all of the attention and admiration. Which... she actually might, if the bits and pieces of shared memories coming up between them are any indication. Myra saving her from the mean yellow ones in a fight, and when she was picked on by a couple blue ones for her coloring, when a deer she was hunting got away and Myra caught it for her...

I sigh a little. So this is why she's so proud all the time. Looking back at the blue one again, I'm still reminded of Selena, but I don't want to suggest a name if she wants to decide on her own. Besides, naming any of them after a person I know would just make things confusing.

Then she finally speaks, still fumbling with words a little. "I... I like the sound of 'Selena,' I'll try to choose something similar..." With that said, they all keep walking for a while, vague sounds and words mixing together in her head the whole way. I can feel what she's doing. Three syllables, lots of 'a' and 'e' sounds.

Eventually, she settles on one. "Avara," she thinks quietly.

"Avara it is," I respond with a smile. "It's a pretty name."

"Thanks..."

It takes days for them to return. In the meantime, the weekend comes. I'm starting to feel better. The town still comes under attack at random, and I'm always worried about Francis. People are still dying and going missing. And no matter how much I tell myself that it isn't my fault, it's hard to believe my own words. I sent Myra away. I know it's stupid. I know she's coming back with more help. But... I don't know. With every new death, it feels like I made the wrong choice.

Despite my constant back and forth struggle between blaming myself and insisting I'm not at fault for this, I am getting better. One new worry starts to form though. It's already been forty five days since the last battle. The next one could come any day, and I'm not at all prepared. I can't use my mana. My only choice is to wonder every day if the whistle will sound to end my life.

By some miracle, the entire week passes, and no whistle comes. By the end of the week, my barrier is well on its way to healed, down to a dull ache, and it actually doesn't hurt to think anymore. I can start to really pay attention in class without turning myself into a useless pile of headaches and nausea.

Still, the slower pace means it takes all week to cover sentences, grammar, and how to spell all of the super common words I already know. Stuff like 'I,' 'you,' 'it.' 'Am,' 'are,' 'is,' and all of those. But by the time Nuvoday comes, I can actually think and focus enough to properly practice at home again. I spend a lot of time writing sentences. 'I am here.' 'They are there.' Punctuation and everything. It still feels like there are an incredible number of nouns and verbs to learn beyond the basics, but now that I can actually think again, things are looking up.

I do briefly attempt to move my mana a little. It still hurts in ways that are impossible to describe and nearly knocks me unconscious in the process, but it's definitely not as bad as the last time. Still, that's enough for me to not try touching it again until I'm at least mostly healed. Or fully.

Finally, it's Shanaday again. We head to church, and listen to another speech that is only sort of about the gods. How they support our country and uphold our values. It vaguely reminds me of what Claire said. All these people, this packed church, all here because they feel trapped, they can't do anything about this situation themselves and they've been reminded that the gods can do something about it for them. So they come, and they pray, and they hope for the gods to do for them what they aren't able to do themselves.

That... sounds just like me. How as soon as I thought she could help, I went to Reena for guidance. How I felt lost and frustrated when she didn't provide any. Maybe I wasn't being fair to her at the time, always expecting something from her just because she was a goddess. But then, didn't she tell me how little power she really has? How she's nothing compared to the other gods?

But despite all that, why would she go behind my back like she did? Even if I believed her, even if whatever she was doing wasn't bad for me, wasn't a betrayal, why would she destroy my trust in her, sneaking around like that? I don't get it.

My turn comes up with the divine totem. I turn my attention to Reena, feel her on the other end of the connection. We don't say anything, don't think anything. Like we're just staring at each other for a few moments, before I draw my hand back.

My counseling session devolves into more rambling about how everything is getting worse in town and how I keep trying to tell myself it's not my fault, but I can't make myself believe it. That I might have been able to do more. How I couldn't help those poisoned men. By the time I'm done, Beth looks shocked and terrified.

She takes me by the shoulders, speaking softly, hardly above a whisper. "Aria, you shouldn't be thinking like that. I know you have a good heart, but you're just a child. Just because you have a divine calling does not mean you have to protect everyone. No god would force something like that on a person, especially not a girl your age. Bad things happen, you can't blame yourself for things that are out of your control."

I lower my gaze, unable to respond to her encouragement. Because it is my duty to protect them. Suddenly, Beth frowns and says, "Oh, sweetie." She pulls me into a hug. I don't know why. It feels nice though, so I don't question it.

It's Emily off to the side, with a pained look that sticks in my head afterward, because she knows exactly why I feel this way. How I'm failing to do my duty every day more people get hurt. I just want Myra and the others to get back, then I'll at least feel like I'm trying to contribute again, what little I can.