The next morning, I continue to mindlessly go through my routine. Eat, feed Aria, and run to work. I'm most of the way to the bar before I even realize what I'm doing. With a dejected sigh, I go the rest of the way. Even as I walk through the door, I guiltily agonize over how I haven't come up with an answer.

"Oh Emily, you're here," Matthew comments as I walk in. "I guess..." but he trails off. "What's wrong?"

"..." I open my mouth, then close it again. I don't know what to say. A lump rises in my throat as I look at him. "I don't know what to do." The words slip out quietly.

"Uhh?" Matthew looks confused.

"I really tried, but I don't know." Before I know it, I'm crying. It's just too much.

As soon as I realize, I desperately start wiping my eyes. Crying won't help!

"I'm sorry," I start to apologize, but I can't stop the tears. I haven't cried like this since before I got to the orphanage.

It's not like before, tears never help.

No one will help me just because I cry. Not like my parents did.

"I'm sorry," I apologize again. Matthew stares blankly for a few moments, before sighing loudly.

"Argh, that Eryk..." he growls, "I'm not good at dealing with kids..." Then he comes over and kneels down. He puts his hands on my shoulders and speaks. "This is why I said not to rush. A little kid isn't going to be able to make big decisions like that overnight. You don't even have parents or anyone to help, do you?" He sighs one more time. "It's fine. Like I said, you can just keep working here for now if you want. You can decide later whether you want to turn it into a career, or if you would rather stop. Leave the hard choices for when you're older. Alright?"

I don't have to decide now? Things can just stay like they are until I find an answer?

Still trying to hold back my tears, I respond, "Nn!" with a big nod.

"Good," he gives a toothy smile as he stands back up. "Since you're already here, are you up for work today?" I give him another big nod. Now that I've stopped crying, I use my shirt to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. Matthew is looking at me a bit weird now though. "Just, uh, wash those clothes when you get home."

Finally swallowing the lump in my throat, I respond, "Ok." If he says so, I'll do it, even though these are the clothes I just washed last night...

End of Book Four.