I covered my mouth as I yawned and rolled over on my bed.

It was as if the more I wanted to sleep, the harder it became. I shrugged off the blanket that was unusually hot tonight.

There was just too much that had happened today. Even though I needed to get up early tomorrow, since this was our last day in Gristol, my mind kept on wandering.

I steadied my breathing. Departure would be at sunrise and I didn't want to be tired when I finally got to ride with Saul and father on the road.

Saul had even taken me out every morning since I met with the duke to go riding. Cinder and I were getting better every day and Saul thought I should be able to keep up just fine on journey.

And there I go again...

The wooden frame of the bed creaked as I sat up and brushed the canopy aside.

If I couldn't fall asleep, then I could at least do something useful until I felt sleepy again. I still had the big tome on Klistoss open on my desk. I wouldn't be able to bring it back with us, not just because it was so heavy, but because father had borrowed it from the university. Ovelrun or Crasilla, the servants who would stay here in the manor in Seventhill to take care of it until our return would have to return it after we left.

Fortunately, I had managed to read quite a bit. Unlike some weeks when Brendal would be bugging me all the time, he had left me alone the past few days. He had been sulking over the fact that I was getting to go riding every morning while he had to stay in the yard training.

The title, "Reflections on the Role of the Oplarchs Previous to the Sijonal Establishment" was a good indication of how boring the tome read. It wasn't even trying to describe the lizardmen, which I was more interested in, but talked about Oplarchs, which seemed to be some sort of chieftains.

These chieftains had been forced to bend the knee by the first Sijon, or Duke of Klistoss. Even though he was called a Duke, among the Klisimians, he was more like a king, from how the book described him. He had put a stop to the constant in-fighting between the Klisimian Oplarchs that had continued even after they fled North to what is now called Klistoss.

I fumbled a bit around my bedside table, feeling the cold metal candle stand and the small tin box beside it.

Usually Simila or Ovelrun would bring a candle lit in the kitchen hearth if needed, but I had put mine out, thinking I would go to sleep. Sparks went all over as I scraped the flint and it took a few tries to get a small flame running in the tinder, but I was able to light a fire stick and set the candle alight before quickly putting it out.

The unsteady light became a lot smoother on the candle wick and I tip toed to the desk, careful not to set the blanket around my shoulders alight.

The tome was already open on the desk, so I just brought the candle close and squinted.

I read a few words that reminded me why I had stopped earlier at this particular page. The author had decided to list ceremonies that the chieftains carried out for their tribes: mainly yearly festivals such as the water harvest or the lights of the dead and individual ceremonies such as the warrior's baptism or funeral rites. The chieftains had taken care of most of the mundane ceremonies that had to do with the clan.

Since the removal of the chieftains, however, the shamans, about which the tome spoke little, had taken on these ceremonies in addition to their other duties.

I closed the book and rested my head back against the back of the chair as I yawned again.

I wasn't learning much of use from this, even though learning of the lizard men was interesting.

I was eager to start the lessons Alust was supposed to give me, but Alust had told us he needed to prepare for the winter in Olwick and had stayed at the Duke's palace after we left. Although I would see him on the way home, he didn't seem to say anything about starting until we were back.

I really wanted to know more though. Grandfather said Alust had some knowledge of curses, so maybe he would at least teach me some of the curses I had heard before and that I wouldn't have to wait yet another year.

"Every whisper, bark or knell, from lady, pup or rustworn bell," I whispered, reaching up to unlatch the shutters beside me.

I had repeated those words, the first half of the incantation that I remembered from Nistan and the shaman so many years ago. But no matter how I tried, I couldn't remember the rest of it among the painful memories of Grita's death and the haze of recollection from that time.

Ever since I failed at the sharpening spell from Sam though, I wanted to try one of the curses from this world.

I wrapped the cover around my shoulders. Even though it was still early in the autumn, the night air was chilly, and seemed only colder against the distant sparkling stars.

I looked for the 4 stars that formed the Arrow pointing towards the Northern Trinity, 3 small twinkles that were nonetheless the centre of the north sky. I also looked for the dark smudge that should stain the purple-white cloud of stars crossing the sky called the Weave of Fate. For some reason, it was hard to even see the Weave in Gristol.

I shivered and felt my eyes droop.

I had not gotten much reading done, but as I latched the shutters closed and snuffed out the candle, I could hardly keep my eyes open anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tilly, wake up!"

I groaned and put the cushion over my head at Brendal's shout.

"We're leaving sleepyhead! Mother said to call you for breakfast!"

I blinked open my eyes for an irritable moment before shutting them again. They felt dry and scratchy and had morning sand in them.

There was also an outline of a tower, so faint one almost wouldn't notice it, except that it was almost like a tattoo in it's permanent part of my every morning.

"Tilly, your brother's right. You don't have much time to eat," Simila echoed, probably telling me for the third time already.

This was not just any terrible morning though. This was a morning much worse than usual. I vaguely recalled the magic potion that Sam's memories offered as a solution unhelpfully. Made with a black bean of the Southern wilderness and enchanted for wakefulness and energy, it was a fixture of every man and woman in his world.

“Tilly? Are you getting up?”

Even Ivian poked her head in.

Holy Golden Sun of the Heavens Above, I hate morning people.

It took a bit longer, but I finally got out of bed and made my way downstairs. I had little appetite and tried to ignore my mother's worried glances.

Then, once preparations were done and we were on the road, it just got worse.

Instead of my imagined trip, horseback riding gloriously all the way to Bridgewater, I ended up sitting somewhat cramped between mother who we all gave space on one side and Alust's son Orjel and Brendal to the other. Opposite us were Alust and his wife and daughter, looking somewhat awkward and embarrassed at sitting here.

Somehow, nobody thought we'd have to arrange for my new tutor and his family of 4 to have their own carriage. Ovelrun and Byl had thought my grandfather's servants were taking care of that and Alust thought we would have already been thinking of that.

It was just so last minute all around and if anyone could have put things in order, it would have been the butler Lyum who had already gone on leave to sort out his own travel arrangements to Bridgewater.

We didn't want to hold up Pricel's family, not to mention that because of the last minute invitation to see my grandfather, I had delayed the whole trip, and we already didn't have any buffer in case of incidents on the road or bad weather if we were to make the funeral.

In the end, we were stuck with Alust's family, at least until Bridgewater where we would stop and have time to arrange another carriage.

When I got to the carriage, everyone was already inside, and Orjel and Brendal were playing a game with cards on the bench beside mother.

I only had myself to blame. I had to be practically dragged out of bed by Simila, after the second time I tried to go back for a quick nap after I got dressed. Saul hadn't even greeted me before he sent me away from the stables, saying I was not fit to ride without a good night's sleep.

So I just got into the carriage and sat between Orjel and mother.

Brendal and Orjel sure seemed to be hitting it off though, which I supposed was a good sign. I hoped my new tutor was as affable. But that was a worry for another day.

As soon as the carriage started moving, I couldn't hold back my yawning and drooping eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ow," I mumbled, not for the last time, as my eyes opened again to remove the elbow in my side. It was Orjel again. “Can you not do that?”

My neck was aching and my eyes still felt scratchy. At least I wasn't on a horse outside though. I would have been even worse off.

Orjel wasn't even looking my way, but there was no way he accidentally kept on elbowing me when I was asleep. Ever since I met him, he seemed to be giving me a stink eye for some reason.

Was he going to act ungrateful despite all my family was doing for his? What was my tutor Alust going to be like if his son was some upstart bully like this?

“Do what?” Orjel had been intentionally looking the opposite direction from me, but now he made eye contact. “Look around you. I am squished here, so I will do what I want.”

I felt a spark of anger flare up inside me, but just closed my eyes and breathed out slowly.

I tried to ignore the boy and he gave me some space, turning back to his chat with Brendal. I tried to tell myself it was only a day. Tomorrow, I vowed to myself, whether I slept well or not, I would be on horseback for sure.

I repeated to myself mentally that I this was all over today, hoping to go back to sleep. My mantra, however, was broken abruptly at the sound of Brendal's muffled giggle over by the window.

I kept my eyes closed but focused, trying to catch what Orjel was whispering in his ear through the clatter of the carriage and horses hooves.

“See that? I told him straight up what I thought. All you gotta do is say when you don't give a shit. That's all it takes.”

This kid was a complete jerk. What did he even have against me? I just met him yesterday and saw him for the second time ever this morning.

I didn't say anything. What could I do? Start a fight with him when nobody else even heard him whisper? He may not come from a noble family, but he was the son of the tutor grandfather sent with me and he was somehow perceptive enough to notice Brendal's childish rivalry with me. I could tell from Brendal's giggle just how hilarious he thought this brat was.

As I was brooding over our new companions, the carriage came to a stop.

Much like on the journey to Gristol, we stopped in a tavern for a meal and a break from the road.

As I stumbled out of the carriage into the dim and smelly stables, I noticed the Phranses had been riding not far behind us.

Pricel and Delthimay both came out of a carriage much like ours, but with their three leaf flower in teal embossed on its door.

Delthimay glared at me while Pricel looked away, much as I did. It might be better to avoid them for now.

"Sister, perhaps we can sit together. It has been almost a year now, so we should really discuss the estate."

Pricel and Delthimay's father waved and walked towards us, dashing my hopes of avoiding my cousins.

"Virtal," my mother and her brother embraced while Bera came up with the brats.

"Hello Tilvrade, are you alright? Your eyes look very red," she asked me.

"Thank you, Lady Phrans. I just didn't have enough sleep last night. I will be fine after tonight," I saw Delithimay stick her tongue out at me from behind her mother as I responded innocently.