Topher dragged me along, and only occasionally did I run into a tree.

“You don’t think he’s alone?” I panted, still aching. “What, like there’s undead in there?”

He turned me a few degrees to the left, but I still managed to bump my shoulder into a trunk. “Who knows? The last burial place we went to ended up hosting a cult,” he said. “The edge of these woods borders a cemetery with a big stone entryway in the middle. We were walking along when he suddenly disappeared. I thought, ‘Oh, he must’ve seen someone and did the rogue thing where he hides until the opportune moment.’ After a bit, though, I saw some light across the way, and Kevin had opened the doors to the building, firing arrows inside. No idea why he didn’t say anything. I figured I’d grab you guys before running in, but who knows how long he’ll last in there alone. Now move.”

“Jenn? You’re behind us, right?” I asked.

“I’m right here. Don’t worry.”

I hurriedly started explaining. “You’re our ace-in-the-hole against undead. You should be able to ‘Turn’ them - scare them and make them run away from you—”

“I know; I’m the one with a holy symbol, remember?” she playfully jabbed. “Save your breath. We can’t have you spent when we get there.”

I was pretty sure I was already spent, but I dutifully kept quiet. I was sore. The initial burst of energy from hearing a friend had gone crazy was already melted away by more running. Not to mention I was out of spells for the day - thank you very much, Captain “What-a-Brat” Minerva.

We came to the edge of the tree line. I finally noticed the sharp curve of the moon, hanging watchfully over the view. The ground gently sloped down from three sides in an amphitheater style, and orderly sprawled across it were hundreds of gravestones. At the lowest point in the center was a stone building, built into the hill.

“Alright, let go. I can see,” I said. Topher did so, and we breaknecked down the hill. The tombstones were small, squarish, and very uniform. In most cemeteries I was familiar with, every family had a different type of stone, hoping for at least some individuality in death. It’s possible people didn’t have much money to spend on the dead, or all of these graves were for soldiers. I didn’t take the time to investigate.

We neared the bottom, and I could see flickering light coming from inside - torches, so someone must’ve been there at least since the time they were lit. Iron doors hung on large hinges, opening inward.

There was a loud scream behind me, and before my next thought could form I was face down in the ground.

“Sorry, sorry!” Jenn quickly sputtered. “It’s slippery and downhill and… sorry.”

I fought the urge to simply pass out then and there. “As much as I like aggressive women who tackle me,” I said, spitting out grass. “I don’t like it when they do it in heavy armor. Please get off.”

She did so, apologizing profusely. When I looked up, I realized I was two inches away from my head cracking on a grave. Jenn’s abysmal dexterity score nearly killed me.

“Hurry up, guys!” yelled Topher.

“I’m coming. Hold your—“ I tried to stand, but my leg was stuck. Thinking nothing of it, I tried kicking myself free. I hadn’t noticed any roots or bramble around….

I blinked twice. My ankle was caught on something sickly brown and sinewy, emerging from the ground.

It was a hand.

And it was pulling.

Lovecraftian dread and madness set in as a rotting arm and an expressionless face broke earth and rose silently out of the grave, helped largely by the fact that I was dragging them away with me.

“Someone help me; I’ve been caught by a freaking zombie” was what I tried to say, but all that came out was a varied burst of less-than-manly screams.

A whooshing whistle of air and the glint of metal in moonlight heralded Topher’s glaive coming down on the thing’s arm, severing it. There was no reaction of pain or surprise in its face. “Stop playing with the locals,” said Topher, unfazed. He grabbed my hand and helped me up. I awkwardly hopped the first few steps to wrench off the still clutching hand.

The sound of more digging came from the graves. Or more specifically, from all the graves closest to the crypt. I will say, as cliche and overdone as the whole Night-of-the-Living-Dead thing is, when it’s actually happening, it’s terrifying. One would think watching tons of scary movies would be preparation for this.

“Anyone else freaking out a little?” cried Jenn.

“I know - did we wake them or something?” I responded.

-Actually, the uniform order in which they’re rising indicates a magical source to their reanimation, centered somewhere in the crypt, most likely-

Dear God, as if I didn’t have enough problems….

-This is further evidenced by them rising in tiers further up the hill, and lets us know the effect is spreading-

I thought I might’ve noticed more beginning to break earth, but I daren’t turn around - partly because I was scared enough already, but mostly to not give the Arcana skill the satisfaction.

“Just get inside!” ordered Topher. “Jack, grab that chain on your way in!”

Lying on the ground in front of the doors was a dark, thick-linked chain next to a heavy padlock, already opened. I scooped it all up and ran inside. Topher slammed the doors behind me and held them shut with arms outstretched. I wrapped the chain around the inside handles, and for good measure locked it with the padlock.

“I guess that means we have to save Kevin to get out of here,” said Topher, backing away cautiously.

I examined my work. “You might be able to break it if you need to,” I said. “And we originally planned for redundancy, remember? I took the criminal background. At… the very least… we’ll need Kevin’s thieves’ tools.” My moment of sober reflection was cut short by a bang on the doors. They didn’t give much, but it was still worrisome.

“I’m sure it won’t come to that,” said Jenn, deliberately remaining calm. “Let’s get moving.”

We turned around to a long hall of torches and ceiling-high stone angels.

“Looks clear,” I said.

“Except for the piles of dust,” amended Jenn. “Each one has a weapon and some scraps with it - what’s left of undead?”

Topher strode purposefully down. “If so, Kevin’s doing well,” he said. “But let’s not tempt fate.”

We crossed the hall, avoiding the leavings as best we could. The statues were very old. Most of their wings had fallen off - age coupled with poor design, no doubt. A dozen or so torches lit the area. They must have been lit by someone, and it probably wasn't long ago when they did so. I had a sneaking suspicion, though, so I held my hand out to one as I walked by. It didn’t give off any heat. Must be the Continual Flame spell - in which case, whoever lit these could be long dead. There were doors at the far end of the hall, slightly ajar. Sword in hand, Topher kicked them open.

“Kevin!” he yelled, entering. “Where are you?”

An arrow grazed off his armor. “Skelly-bros! Nine o’clock!” He disappeared to the left.

“‘Skelly-bros’? Just what we need - a cute name for undead,” I said, drawing my own sword. “Jenn, I think he means skeletons, so blunt weapons will do more damage. You’re the star of this show.”

She smiled grimly at me for the inspiration, and I let her go through first (chivalry isn’t dead). Stepping in, I looked left to check the situation - Topher was slicing through the ribcage of a skeleton, crumbling it into dust. Jenn was en route to another, deflecting its arrow with her shield. They seemed to have things well in hand, so I checked the rest of the surroundings.

This hallway ran perpendicular to the entrance, each side turning to lead further in. It had a higher ceiling, and the outer side had a balcony that ran along the full perimeter. Vertical stone coffins ran along both sides of the room, most recently opened. Each coffin had a name, and each name had an officer’s rank before it. This was a military graveyard. That would explain why all these dead guys were buried with weapons (really, though; one would think with the prevalence of undead in D&D worlds, people might’ve caught on that no one should be buried with stuff that can kill the living). The torchlight showed a couple more piles of ash, and a redead corpse with arrows sticking out of it. “I know which way Kevin went,” I said.

A clattering sound came from the last skeleton. “Ouch - score one for Jenn,” said Topher, already moving toward me. “Yep, that’s a pretty obvious trail. Let’s go.”

I turned back to Jenn. “Could you pick up that quiver for me?”

“Er… Quiver?” Confused, she tried to follow my gaze.

Right. Not a nerd. “That case that holds arrows. Kevin gave me his old shortbow, but kept all the ammunition. I might as well get whatever use out of it as I can, since I’m out of spells and can’t fight melee as well as you two.”

She obliged. “Great,” said Topher. “You found some ancient arrows. Can we get moving, please?”

He sounded perturbed. I mean, we were all worried about Kevin, but still….

“Don’t worry, Topher; I’m sure he’s fine,” Jenn reassured. “You did the right thing coming to get us.” She gave me a look, and I understood. Topher must’ve seen that Kevin was in trouble, and had to decide in a split-second whether or not to rush in by himself or come get us. If it was weighing on his mind this much, the choice might’ve been based on less than heroic reasons. Actually, forget heroic - knowing Topher, he’d be more upset if the reasons were less than logical.

“Now’s not the time to dwell on it,” said Topher, double timing it after Kevin’s trail. “We’ve got ‘psycho ginger the wonder elf’ to save.”

We rounded the corner. “There you are,” shouted Topher. “Jesus, Kevin, what’s wrong with you?”

Kevin was up on the balcony at the far end of the hall, shooting arrows at a small cluster of zombies on the ground floor. He made no acknowledgment of us.

“We’re coming, Kevin!” Topher charged at the zombies.

“He seems alright,” I said. “But why isn’t he even paying attention to us?” I looked around the hall. “Think there’s something about this place? Should we be watching out for some sort of magical… something? And how’d he get up there? There aren’t any stairs - did he just parkour or something?”

Jenn was running ahead. “Feel free to think, but fight at the same time, alright?”

Taking out a musty arrow, I pulled and aimed. I didn’t like this at all. Kevin seemed entirely too focused on killing these things. Jenn and Topher were blocking my shots, so I moved up in case an opportunity to fire came about. The Arcana skill mentioned that the dead seemed to be rising like some sort of effect was spreading from this crypt. Had it affected Kevin in some way? I looked up at him. He had one foot on the railing of the balcony, shooting almost straight down into a zombie’s head. His face was expressionless. He went for another arrow, but grasped at nothing - he was out. Maybe it was time for an experiment.

I grabbed my newly acquired quiver, pulled four more arrows out for myself and yelled, “Kevin! Ammo drop!” He finally looked in my direction. Satisfied that he was at least aware of our presence, I threw the quiver up to him. It wasn’t a great throw, and many of the arrows were starting to slide out of it by the time it reached balcony level. Didn’t matter, though - Kevin grabbed the strap of the quiver and yanked it, catching all the arrows as he slid it over his shoulder. Half a second later he was firing again, face still expressionless.

“Well, don’t thank me or anything,” I said. I held the spare arrows as I readied to take a shot. The bow creaked as I drew back….

Wait.

That creaking sounded more like stone on stone than wood under torque.

I looked to my left, where the partially opened coffin of ’Colonel Igran Burnfield’ stood. As I got the weird suspicion that I’d seen a similar name somewhere before, the lid burst open and the departed colonel came charging at me.

With no time to pull out a proper weapon, I jabbed the arrows into him with a sickening squeltch sound. He wasn’t slowed at all. I dropped the bow and reached to pull his hands from my throat. His mouth was open, and several pointed teeth were gnashing at me. Zombies weren’t supposed to be biters in D&D, were they? The heat of primal rage in me suddenly turned cold at the realization that this might be a ghoul.

-It’s not a ghoul - it doesn’t have any claws. Furthermore, the teeth and tongue aren’t large enough. What’s fascinating, though, is that, while it should still be classified as a zombie, it does seem to be in the process of metamorphosing into a ghoul-

This thing was turning into a ghoul? And wasn’t undead identification part of the Religion skill, not Arcana?

Not the time! I managed to wrench it off of me and shove it away. Before it could regroup, an arrow came from above and nailed it through the head. It comically stayed standing for a second before falling to the floor, motionless.

“Thanks,” I yelled up. Kevin didn’t respond. Instead, he ran further into the crypt, through an archway and out of sight. Corresponding on the ground level were another set of doors.

“He’s still messed up,” said Topher. “Time to bust open some doors.”

“Once second,” I called. “Expect ghouls on the other side.”

He took half a second before realization crossed his face. “Right, the Arcana skill. Avoid the claws. Easy enough.”

At this point, I wished it was the Arcana skill. Sadly, no - I was pretty sure the Jack-of-all-Trades class feature gave that voice partial access to all the knowledge skills. It would only get more annoying and headache invoking as time went on. I was too tired to even think about how much my life sucked.

Topher charged through the doors, knocking them off their hinges. Jenn and I followed.

The room was large - the width of the whole crypt, I imagined. Two balconies wrapped around to the back wall, ending in twin staircases. At the center of the room, sitting on an altar, was a large, shallow iron bowl, holding purple flames.

The forms of six beings were illuminated by the fire. Their seemingly emaciated figures were hunched over, and unlike the zombies, their flesh didn’t look like it was decomposing. Each of their fingers were distortedly long and pointed. They turned their bald heads to us, baring fangs and lolling out “Gene Simmons-esque” tongues.

-Now, those are ghouls-

I didn’t have time to worry about how it was giving me information without asking. At once we all came to action. Jenn put a hand to her holy symbol and enunciated a prayer, sending a beam of white light at the nearest ghoul. It howled in pain as an arrow streaked from the balcony above us. Topher and three of the remaining ghouls charged. The last ghoul must have caught sight of Kevin, and was heading for a staircase at the back. I drew my sword, but found myself looking at the fire.

That purple looks familiar.

-Indeed, it is a similar concentration of the effect north of Woodsedge-

Too tired to work out those implications. Is it causing the undead in here?

-A distinct possibility-

So, would snuffing out the fire or something stop the undead?

-Also a distinct possibility. It might destroy the undead outright, or maybe only stop their creation. Or nothing. There’s a definite chance stopping it without the proper rituals could cause unintended effects, as it is unclear what process is at work-

Didn’t like the sound of that. What sort of—

“Jack!” Jenn yelled. “What’s wrong? Something about that fire?”

I brought myself back to the here and now. “It might be causing all of this,” I said.

Topher threw off a ghoul that had sunk its teeth into him, and with a sudden burst of speed brought his greatsword into it, then spun around and cleaved it through the other way. “So we just need to knock it over or something?” he asked.

“Don’t! That might cause other problems. I need time to look at it.”

Jenn nodded. “I’ll do what I can.” She stepped toward the melee, holy symbol in hand. “Unholy blight,” she began. Her voice resonated through the room, and golden light began pouring from her very being. “Behold my true visage.”

The room exploded with light. My eyes adjusted quickly, and I saw the ghouls clamoring over each other, desperate to flee from Jenn. Topher took a quick swing at one as it ran.

“You’ve got a minute,” said Jenn, moving closer to the ghouls to make sure they stayed at bay.

“Thanks. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do much, but we’ll see.”

Kevin leapt from the balcony, shooting at the ghoul that had followed him there. He landed in a roll. By the time he finished, he was already knocking an arrow back at the frightened ghouls.

“Wait, don’t!” I moved to intercept Kevin.

Too late. The arrow sunk into undead flesh, dispelling the effect Jenn was having on it. With a roar, it ran for Jenn, claws outstretched.

I ran for the fire. Maybe if I could figure out more about it, the Arcana skill could fill in the rest. Unlike the torches in here, these flames gave out heat. There wasn’t anything inside the bowl to fuel the fire, just the fire itself. Was any of this useful information?

Nothing came.

I heard a scream. “Jenn’s down!” yelled Topher.

Reflexively, I sent my magic limb into my soul to grab what I needed for Healing Word, only for it to remind me that it had no strength left. This was bad. I didn’t have a healer’s kit to stabilize her. She should have one, though….

Topher gave a surprised yelp. “Whoa, others aren’t turned any—rrrrrgh!” The sentence ended like he was having troubles with constipation. I glanced and saw the ghouls biting at his unmoving form. An arrow whizzed past and struck one - not nearly enough to stop them.

I turned back to the fire. Best option left. I grabbed the bowl and tensed, screaming as the hot iron burned my hands. No good - it was too heavy. Ignoring the pain, I squatted like I was at the starting line of a race and shoved with my whole body. I screamed in agony and frustration. My legs still ached from all the marching and running. I was dead tired.

“Come on!” I roared. “Come on!”

The bowl give way an inch. Then another inch. And another. It started teetering on the edge of the altar, and with one last frenzied effort, I drove it clattering to the floor.

It landed top down, wobbling for a second. The fire was out. I turned to where the ghouls were, only to see them disintegrating before me, piles of dust next to the prone Topher and Jenn.

I was about to run to them, but a loud fwooosh sound came from the bowl. I looked down in horror to see the ground itself on fire.

-Interesting. It seems the suffusion of magic into this place coupled with the ritual’s form have made even noncombustible—

No time. The fire was spreading at an alarming rate. I wouldn’t have time to stabilize them - they’d have to make their death saving throws.

I turned to Kevin, only to see him on the ground, as well. Fuck. I couldn’t drag three people out of this place.

I inhaled sharply as Kevin started standing with a groan. “What… happened?” He was out of it. I ran to him and smacked him across the face.

“No time to explain,” I barked. “Can you understand me?”

His eyes shot straight into mine. “Yes.”

I started toward the others. “You get Jenn, I’ll get Topher.”

Topher was a good 200 pounds or so when he was human - he easily put on another thirty when he became a half-orc. Coupled with his armor and gear which I didn’t have time to take off, he was well over three hundred pounds. My whole body screamed in pain as I hoisted him from the ground, flames licking at his heels. Any more damage would make him that much closer to dying. I hobbled off, carrying him like a firefighter.

Kevin was straining a bit with Jenn and all her armor, as well. He followed me out of the room. The fire had picked up speed and was even igniting the stone walls. I was tired. I was sore. My vision was mostly a series of blurred images.

“Seriously, though… what happened?” asked Kevin.

“If you… have energy… to talk… you have energy…” I couldn’t finish throwing his own words back at him.

We made it to the last hallway. “Uh…” said Kevin. “The door is locked.”

“So unlock it!” I bellowed, frustration giving a quick burst of energy. I didn’t think it would do much, but I closed the other doors behind us. The fire didn’t seem to care.

Kevin made it down the hall and set Jenn down. The flames kept closing in. A few seconds later there was a click, and Kevin ripped the chains off. We both dragged Jenn out, Topher still on my back.

Dawn was just breaking. The graveyard was in shambles, a large portion of graves recently vacated. Fortunately, there were just as many piles of dust. I wasn’t sure how far we’d have to go to be safe, but in the end the distance was decided by my body shutting down, having given all it could give.

“No lights,” said Kevin. A couple seconds later he added, “Jenn’s stable. So’s Topher. Still breathing.” He fell down next to me. We laid there for a couple seconds before he said, “Oh, shit.”

I smiled, which was to say the edges of my lips moved an eighth of an inch. “What? Did you leave something in there?”

“No.”

That wasn’t Kevin’s voice. I opened my eyes to a blur, but they started to focus…

Chocolate eyes glinted in the light of the sun and the burning crypt. “Hello, Jack,” said Minerva. “First we met because of the fire in Woodsedge, second time was after your goblin deal got incinerated, and now we meet outside the wreckage of a burning historical cemetery. I wonder if the Gods are trying to tell us something.”

There was nothing I could do.

I passed out.