'You spend too much time worrying,' Zen told Alisa. He lay sprawled across her furniture, occupying most of the front room with his snaky bulk, his wings tucked away by his sides.

"There's a lot to worry about."

'No there is not. We live. The sun shines. The rain comes when it is its time. If your time alone troubles you, then stop being alone.'

"It's not that simple."

'I have seen many of your classmates talk to each other. It is not a complicated process.'

"It may not seem that way from the outside, but for the ones actually doing it? It's hard."

'Then I will do it for you.'

And before she could stop him, he'd untangled himself and streaked out the door, ignoring her squeak of protest.

Alisa half expected Zen to kidnap Sadie and sit them down together, wrapping them both in his coils until they stopped awkwardly avoiding each other, but fortunately he didn’t seem inclined to do that.

Instead, he sent Tay.

“I understand you want to talk?” Tay said, arriving just as classes were ending for the day. “Come, let’s walk.”

Alisa mentally glared at Zen for being an interfering snake, then sighed and fell in step at Tay’s side. “I’m sorry, I didn’t ask Zen to bother you.”

“That’s perfectly alright. I did tell you to send him to me any time you needed me. Is this about advancing into the graduating year, or about your friends being sent away one by one?”

“Neither. Zen shouldn’t be gossiping about me.”

“He doesn’t have to say anything, I can see what’s going on.”

“Can you? So you already know what I want?”

“No, because you don’t know what you want. Do you want to give up, run away? Do you want to hold onto people who are growing up into someone different than you always assumed? Do you want to let your life be shifted into another path? Are you willing to accept change, or will you continue to fight and resent it?”

Alisa stumbled, but Tay caught her elbow and steadied her.

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

"It's fine if you want to think. I've got time."

"Do you? Aren't you and Will busy running the country, or at least the preparation efforts?"

"To be honest, it’s a relief to get away from it all. A few hours where my biggest concern is whether you'll be okay is so much nicer. I'd rather stay here at the academy all the time if I could, but saving the world does require a lot of effort."

"The world? That's a little dramatic."

"It really isn't." Tay sighed, glanced sideways at her, then gave a tiny shrug. "I haven't been entirely honest with you. Our plans are much much bigger than saving Leviir from Breih, or from stopping Nersyd from conquering ZeMaille. And... I know you're probably wondering why you should care, or be involved at all... probably considering what other schools you could run away to, or how you could ditch Zen and go home--"

"I would never leave Zen! Even if he doesn't have time for me at the moment."

"You might, if things were different, but you're right. You do seem to have a solid bond. I apologize for doubting you. But that's beside the point. With Zen or without, you are going to be incredibly important."

"Why me? You keep saying this, like I'm someone special. I'm not. I'm no chosen hero, no secret princess. I'm just a brickmaker's daughter from the middle of nowhere, dragged into this all against my will and without my consent."

Tay’s lip twitched into a brief, knowing smile. "And yet you still thrive. Do you know how few of the people here are unwilling to accept their circumstances? How many are eager to grasp at any advantage? You stayed, not for power, but for knowledge. And that knowledge is going to be essential in the years to come."

"Then why aren't you recruiting Francine? If all you want is knowledge."

"I am. But she doesn't need my help to become who she's meant to become. She has quite firm ideas of her own."

Alisa growled in disgust. Even Francine knew what she was doing and who she wanted to become. Why was Alisa so weak at every turn? She couldn't make a simple commitment without waffling about it?

"Not all this confusion is yours."

Alisa looked up, startled out of her self-recriminations. "What?"

"The bond. Zen is doing some very deep soul-searching these days. Since you made the bond later in his life, it's not as binding and controlling as it could be. Those who've bonded dragons from infancy receive very little pushback or spillover, since the dragons grow up used to receiving commands through the link. Yours, on a strong-willed adolescent, has a lot more feedback."

"Are you saying Zen's confusion is feeding into my own uncertainty?"

"Yes. Once he settles on who he wants to become, you'll find it much easier to remain stable in your own desires."

"I don't know what I desire. Peace, progress, growth—"

"Have you been looking at that journal I gave you?" Tay interrupted before her ramble could get going, abruptly changing the subject.

"Yes, of course."

"What do you make of it?"

"It's fascinating. Frustratingly incomplete, but there are a lot of amazing innovations in there just waiting to be finished."

"Can you solve them?"

"Probably some of them. Not all. Not in one lifetime. Dragon mages don't live any longer than anyone else."

"No, but there are spells which can be used to enhance someone's lifespan."

"There are stories of spells," Alisa corrected, but Tay smiled secretively.

"There are spells," he said with complete confidence.

"Well, unless you know them--"

"I do not, but I know where they can be found. Perhaps one day we'll seek them out, if you find yourself in need of more time."

Alisa didn't know how to respond, so they walked for a time in silence. She knew that if Zen heard about them he’d jump all over Tay to go searching for them immediately.

"Should I give up on Sadie?" Alisa burst out. She hadn't meant to say it, but the thought had been drifting around ever since her confrontation with Francine.

"Sadie? I'm not familiar... is she the one who died?"

"No! No one died. Well, Josephiin's dragon died and she left, but none of the students have... I don't think anyone has, I haven't heard of it. No, Sadie is my best friend."

"I thought that was Lia."

"What? Why would you think that?"

Tay shrugged, his face tight with concentration. "No particular reason. You spend a lot of time with her and Reen. I thought you might want to protest their distant placement."

"I don't like Lia that much. She's immature and demanding. Not that I'd ever say as much to anyone else."

"So, this Sadie…?" Tay prompted

"She's been ignoring me a lot lately, and I haven't... I can't find the right way to approach her. To get back what we had."

"Right. You are growing up in different directions and want to hold on."

"We were so close! We did everything together. And now, all of a sudden, it's like... like she doesn't need me any more."

"She doesn't."

Alisa was taken aback by his flat confident tone, irritation rising. "How could you possibly know that? Why do you always act like you know everything? It's annoying!"

"You just told me. She doesn't make time for you, doesn't seek you out, doesn't prioritize you in her life. Sounds to me like she's decided she doesn't need you. I don't need to know her in person to ascertain the truth from the outcomes."

Alisa wilted at his rebuke, gentle though his voice remained. She swallowed. "You think I need to let it go? After so many years, just... let our friendship disappear into the past?"

"She has new friends and new priorities. You have bigger things to worry about than one school girl's affection."

Leviir. Renand. Indencai and Breih. Azier and Aelend. Tensions throughout the region continued to increase. Alisa couldn't avoid noticing the constantly growing concern in anyone who had news from home.

"You can let it go," Tay said gently. "I know it hurts to break a connection that you've had for a long time, it feels like a betrayal, like you're doing something terrible. But you're not. Sadie has moved on. You need to do the same."

"This is all your fault,” Alisa said dully. “You and the Traitor, you could have warned us, could have made sure we had a way out. I never wanted this."

"Not now, no. But you've already started to see, haven't you? That this is only the beginning. What you're searching for, what you're chasing, you can still find it. Not where you expected, but it's still out there."

"Did Zen tell you that too?"

"Zen cares a lot more for you than you realize. He's going through a very tough time right now, and he doesn't want to burden you with it. He idolizes you a bit, I think."

"I would say the same about you."

Tay chuckled. "He does, at that."

"I think more than half the reason I trust you at all is only due to Zen being so obsessed with you."

"Possible. We've had some long discussions, Zen and I. You might say I'm his... mentor, in a way."

"How do you mentor a dragon, you don't even have one of your own. And how can you talk to dragons?"

"I did have a dragon once, a long long time ago. When I was very young and very foolish, and very careless." Tay's voice softened until it was almost a whisper. Alisa recognized a deep, long-buried grief there, and felt immediate sympathy.

"I won't let anything happen to Zen," she promised. "I'm not going to try to get rid of him. Never."

"Good. He deserves better than being neglected and abandoned. He's very wise, and very clever. You're a great team." Tay smiled faintly. "You know he hopes you can ride him someday."

"Aelanir are too light, he can't support my weight."

"Not with his wings alone, no. But you're a clever girl, I'm sure you can come up with something."

"There's no spell to let you carry more weight than normal."

"Isn't there?"

"Well, there are platforms and things but they're stable and—" Alisa trailed off, frowning.

"You'll think of something. Let me know if you do. Zen will be overjoyed."

"I don't think I can do anything now, but you do give me some ideas."

"Good. Look into that. It's good to have you as a support mage, but mobility is very valuable as well. If you're able to fly with Zen it would make things much easier."

"I haven't promised I’ll join you. Or even stay here. What’s the point?"

"Ah, right. Did you want me to lay the groundwork for your advancement? You can join the graduating class easily enough, and I admit that we have somewhat lessened the course-load for the present. The sort of magic that was specialized in before is no longer as necessary as sheer power."

"You keep saying things like that, but who is really going to try to threaten a group of dragon mages this large?"

"It's not Renand that's in danger, Alisa. It's everyone. We need to unite before it's too late."

"Yeah, say dramatic cryptic things, that'll make me more likely to trust you."

Tay smiled wryly. "I do get rather too into the mysterious persona, don't I? But there are some truths that are better left unspoken. Sometimes, knowing what's coming only makes things harder to bear."

"Oooh, thank you, much less opaque."

"What do you want to know? What do you need to know? I can't— there are some things I cannot share. Not with you, not with anyone. I'm privy to secrets that would break the world if they were shared. I'm sorry that I must deceive you, but we can't do this if everyone is chasing their own answer. We need to bring everyone together."

"Why me?" Alisa stopped herself before adding to the list, and repeated it instead. "Why are you so set on recruiting me?"

Tay looked at her very seriously, as though considering his words carefully, then spoke with slow solemnity. "If I told you... there's a prophecy—"

Alisa burst out laughing.

Tay grinned and laughed. "Yeah, there's no prophecy. You're not anyone special or destined for greatness or anything like that. You are simply an incredible woman, with a powerful drive constantly fighting an equally powerful darkness. It's possible that you could give up and let that darkness consume you, let all your potential fade away. Or you could find the allies you need to push that drive into its full power, and become someone the likes of which the world hasn't seen in generations."

"Maybe I’d rather there were a prophecy. That's a lot of pressure."

"You can handle it. Pressure has never broken you, Alisa. You thrive under pressure. Right now, not right this moment, but the coming months, you need to decide who you want to become. Your old life won't return, no matter how much you want it to. You need to decide what your new direction is going to be. That's all. Make a choice, take a step, and face the challenges that are coming."

Alisa laughed humorlessly. "That's all."

"I know, I don't ask much, do I?"

"You want me to join your war."

"No. Not a war, not exactly. My elite dragon force will be supplementary to Will's main army. We'll take care of particular details which don't require the full weight of force."

"And it's this elite force that you want me to dedicate my life to?"

"No. I wouldn't ask that of you. This is an opportunity to rise to the occasion, but not one I'd force upon you. I want you to continue your studies, pursue your passions, and find the answers you're searching for. And join my dragon force on the side, to be available when we need you. I'll arrange for anything you need, housing, funding, access to libraries across the world, whatever you need."

Alisa's breath caught. "How? Why? This is— too much." This was a far better offer than he'd proposed before, basically everything she needed, everything she wanted. And being part of a tiny group of dragon mages doing covert or precision fighting things on the side, but... he'd finance her research, get her in anywhere?

"You will be most valuable fulfilling your own full potential, not shunted into some route where your passions will die and you'll carry on out of obligation. You could do very well as a common fighting mage, but that would be a complete waste of your potential.”

Alisa shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t think there’s any way I can live up to that kind of expectation.”

"So you're willing to give up? You've learned as much as is possible to learn, done as much as you can do, and now you'll retire to the country and live out your days alone with your dragon?"

"No, of course not. There's always more to learn."

"So why are you hesitating?"

"I don't believe I can be what you imagine. The journal... that's a perfect example. You should have sent it to a scholar, not me. Someone else could puzzle it all together, I'm sure. Much faster than I ever will."

"I don't need to know what's in it," said Tay. "I need you to study it."

“WHY?”

“Truly? I don’t know. I’m not sure why I keep coming back to you. You’re exceptional, yes, and have nearly unlimited potential. But you’re not unique. I could put out a call and have a hundred applicants with nearly the same drive as you. Perhaps it’s because of Zen. Perhaps I’m just curious to see what you are capable of. I think no one has ever guessed just how much you can do.”

His answers only made Alisa angrier. “At least a prophecy, stupid as it is to imagine such things actually exist, makes some kind of weird sense. You’re telling me I’m special, but only because of your whim? Because you decided to single me out as an experiment, to see what happens?”

“Are you saying ‘no thank you’? You don’t want to learn what you’re capable of? You’ve no interest in pushing your limits?”

“Well…” Alisa deflated, her anger draining away. “I… of course I want to reach my full potential.”

“Then what does my motive change? If I were doing all this in order to enter you in a fighting tournament, or to unlock forgotten ancient knowledge, or to help defeat an invasion, does any one of those motives make you less interested in pursuing your studies?”

“Well… no, but… it just feels…” She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know anything about you. Not really. You keep coming in and persuading me to do things I thought I’d decided against, and somehow it always sounds so reasonable when you’re here, but then I think about it and…”

“You worry I’m manipulating you.”

“And you’re too close to Zen. I don’t like it.”

“I am manipulating you.”

Alisa stared, speechless.

“I want you to join me, and I’m willing to offer whatever is necessary to make that happen.”

“You’ve offered enough. I don’t need bribes. I want the truth.”

“Some truths are too dangerous.”

“Who am I going to tell?”

“Zen. Who is not the most discreet dragon I’ve ever met.”

Alisa pressed her lips together, but he wasn’t wrong. Dragons were incorrigible gossips.

"I'll tell you when it becomes relevant," Tay promised. "I won't make you fight without giving you a reason, and you'll always have the right to refuse an individual mission if it goes against your convictions."

Alisa felt her last reservations crumbling. It really was a good deal; perfect, really. And Tay had already done so much for her and Zen.

"Alright," she said, even though she knew she may regret it in future. "Deal."

“Good. Then it’s settled. I’ll send a representative to handle matters while I’m away. Oh, and Zen has a question he’s been dying to ask, but can’t bring himself to. You should ask him about it before he explodes.”

With that, Tay nodded in farewell and strode away, his enchanted boots carrying him quickly out of sight.