“A ‘ziang-shi?'” Captain Jacobs paced in front of his desk. “What the heck even is that?”

“Jiang-shi.” Helena sat back in the chair she’d requisitioned while waiting for the captain’s return. “It’s an eastern undead monster, usually created by Taoist ritualists. You’re lucky you hired me. Most western magicians don’t know anything about them. If my grandmother hadn’t sent me to ‘summer camp’ in the Realms of Illusion I’d be clueless myself.”

“So you’re saying you could create one?” Kilduff asked with a dark glare.

Helena rolled her eyes at the inspector’s attempts to get her off the job. “I could in theory, but not in practice. First I’m not supposed to dabble in undeath without asking Hades and Persephone nicely, and they’d certainly refuse. In addition this jiang-shi is enhanced. The creator didn’t just wave a pregnant cat over a corpse. They used powerful magical rituals.” Helena made a coin jingling gesture. “Rituals that are very expensive. I couldn’t afford it, even if you added some zeros onto my fee.”

The captain slumped back in his chair and put his face in his hands. “So you’re telling me that our killer is some sort of supercharged Chinese monster?”

“A supercharged Chinese monster who is being controlled by a very rich and powerful magician,” Helena added helpfully.

Kilduff’s grimace turned to a more focused frown. “So. The Triads then.”

“We don’t know the Chinese Mafia’s involved,” Jacobs countered. “It’s possible a newcomer from an outrealm came in and is causing trouble. Or maybe it’s a unique creature. We can hope anyway.”

Helena shrugged. “A newcomer is possible. But there has to be a magician controlling it. If it were uncontrolled there’d be people turning up dead all over the city. Given the skill required, the creator’s a top tier magician as well. Not some back alley potion brewer.”

“What do you mean by top tier?” Jacobs asked.

“I mean there are about 50 people living in the Immigrant Realms who can even try to make one. The seventeen true magicians, and a little over thirty skilled magicians from various other realms.” Helena folded her arms. “The true magicians being myself, Madam Robicroux, Gold Rat Hsu, Granite Monkey Sen, the Adena, and the twelve tower wizards. Of course someone could have just walked through a portal and set up shop quietly. But anyone who can do this should be considered close to my equal.”

Kilduff nodded. “An outsider seems the most likely. Their current magician’s a cautious type so the Triads would need to round up some new blood.” He pulled out a notepad and turned to Helena. “Best tell us all about this creature’s strengths and weaknesses.”

Helena blinked in surprise. “No sniping about me being a witch?”

“I’ve listened to bastards who murdered children while they ratted out their accomplices,” Kilduff said. “I can listen to a foolish witch girl rat out a devil.”

That was probably as much of a compliment she’d get from the inspector. “Well then. It’s super strong, nearly invulnerable, and capable of draining the chi of normal humans. Normally jiang-shi are desiccated from their lack of chi, and are unable to eat food. But given the missing brain and the fact no one noticed an under monster wandering around the hotel, I imagine the magician who created it spent the ludicrous amount of money needed to get rid of those weaknesses.”

“How much money are we talking,” Captain Jacobs asked.

Helena considered what she knew about the process and grimaced. “Your weight in gold and in jade.” What she’d give to throw that much money at a simple experiment.

“So it looks just like you and me?” Kilduff asked. “Bit unfair for us poor humans looking for the monster.”

“At first glance yes, but it won’t be able to hide for long.” Helena said. “No matter how advanced their joints have trouble bending, especially the elbows and knees. Have your people look for that. They’ll also have a tag on their body- usually the forehead but the only rule is it has to be visible.” She locked eyes with the man. “Do not take it off. That’s the only thing keeping the creature from going berserk.” She did not want to have to deal with a berserk undead monster slaughtering its way through the city.

“So what can we do to stop it?” Jacobs muttered.

Kilduff looked up. “The power of the Lord-“

“We aren’t hiring a priest,” the captain replied with a long suffering sigh.

Getting a priest or twelve was the smart move, but Helena kept her mouth shut. She didn’t need competition for the job. Besides she was technically a priestess herself. And while she wasn’t good at clearing away curses, she was very good at killing monsters. Or just killing things in general.

“Well then,” Kilduff looked at her. “What weapons do my lads have to use against them.”

“They can be hurt by any weapon made from peach tree wood. In addition bells or holy rituals can stun them.” She looked over to the inspector. “And of course blessed weapons like that club or the holy water in your belt. It is undead.”

“Should have guessed you’d recognize the instruments of faith,” Kilduff said, putting the notepad away.

“I’d be a poor priestess of Hecate if I couldn’t recognize a simple blessing,” Helena replied. She turned towards Captain Jacobs “Fortunately for your other officers any item they consider ‘holy’ will work. The power of their gods is what matters the most.”

Kilduff sniffed. “I’ve yet to see pagan rituals equal the power of the Lord.”

“Will fire work?” Jacobs interrupted.

“Technically yes, but any spell that could burn a jiang-shi would destroy the surrounding sixteen city blocks,” Helena shrugged. “Maybe you have some technological tricks that could work. Nuclear power perhaps?”

Jacobs turned very pale. “Using nukes in the city?! No, I think we’ll just stick to holy water.”

“I don’t know how it works,” Helena pointed out. Apparently the outside world’s trump card wasn’t that precise. Something to tell her friend Lyudmila later.

Jacobs took a few moments to compose himself as he leaned back in his chair. “While all very interesting, that doesn’t solve my biggest problem. How can we track down this jiang-shi and its controller?”

“I’ll hunt them down the old fashioned way,” Helena replied. “With a bit of help from one of your officers I can figure out where the magician lives, if not exactly who they are.”

“What?” Jacobs yelled. “I can’t have a consultant running around performing police work! Especially not one who counts as a weapon of mass destruction in most jurisdictions. Out of the question!”

“We don’t need a witch running amok terrifying the locals while under police protection either,” Kilduff added.

Helena smirked. “Then you’ll pay me for services rendered? Five hundred dollars. Not too bad for half a day’s work.”

“Wait just a minute!” Jacobs sputtered. “We have no idea if your information was correct! And what you have told us is almost useless for an investigation. Sure it will help when our men find the culprit but…”

“You just said you didn’t need my services.” She locked gazes with Jacobs. “If that’s true, then you owe me the money. If not then I need to hunt the magician down, and that means searching myself, since any magician capable of creating a jiang-shi is capable of blocking any weak scrying attempts I can muster. I’m not going to sit and wait at home for you to pay me whenever you catch the criminal, because I’m not sure you can.”

Kilduff heaved a great sigh. “Aye, we’re well and good trapped in the devil’s bargain. I warned you captain. Devils come when you ask, but rarely leave when you will.”

Captain Jacobs sat in his chair rubbing his temples. Honestly, Helena didn’t care what the man decided. She was going to get her rent money, and she was going to get it as soon as possible.

Finally Jacobs shook his head and glared at her before turning to Kilduff. “Fine. You were right. I’ll pay her off, unless you want to help her run around and play wizard detective.”

That was very strange. She hadn’t expected the man to surrender his authority so fast. She’d been preparing for another hour of complaints. Still, this decided the matter. There was no way the inspector would lead around a witch of his own free will.

Silence fell, then spread. Kilduff rubbed his eyes, then pulled out a crucifix and looked at it, muttering something under his breath. Then he heaved another great sigh, before fixing Helena with a steely gaze. “Right girl. We’ve already paid the piper, so we might as well call the tune. Let’s see if your actions can match your boasting.”

For the first time in a long while she was completely and utterly speechless.