“You know, This isn't so bad.”

“Uh huh.” Mary seemed rather unconvinced by my assertion regarding our current working environment.

“No really, it's kind of fun.”

“I don't know about you Abbot, but I for one don't like being covered in mud.”

It turned out what Joseph, the old riverboat captain who had hired us on in exchange for our work, wanted from us, was as helpers for his barge. It was a flat-topped river vessel so as to fit under bridges, but it lacked any means of propulsion except for people pushing it along with long wooden poles while the water carried us downriver, and should it get snagged, it was our job to push it out into the open river again.

“Ah cheer up, I'll clean you off with magic in a minute.”

Honestly, I felt a bit bad about my contribution, with my size and muscle mass I wasn't particularly helpful with this. Mary and Karsten were doing most of the work given that I couldn't even touch the riverboat on and had to kick my feet in the water to push the thing along.

Karsten had taken to it like an old hobby though and was easily the most competent of the three of us.

“Right, on three put your backs into it.”

“One”

“Two”

“Three”

“Hurk.” the three of us put a good amount of effort onto the snagged corner, getting the boat moving again as we moved to climb onboard, absolutely covered in the silt mud if the river.

“That was a good shove lads. I knew ye’d be helpful.” Joseph chuckled to himself as we clamored on board. “If we ken keep up this pace I spect we can reach Brindon by weeks end. Tis only about another 300 Ko or so.”

“Sounds good,” I pulled out my staff, even if I was down to just my underwear for swimming it still didn't make sense to remain muddy. “Solto” I swung the staff over my head before doing the same for my companions, the shower of light cast from it caused the mud to drop off of their bodies falling away to the ground as a cloud of dust.

“Gah, that's weird.” Mary grouse as the mud fell off of her, tugging at her hair agitatedly “Between this and the bugs in the tavern this morning my hair is just a mess.”

“Thanks, Abbot.” Karsten grumbled happily, while Mary went inside the boathouse to get dressed. “Much better than finding mud in your clothes a month later.”

“Aye, I ne’er ken men of the cloth was so useful to have aboard. Course most just hire passage with money on larger ships where it's nae an issue.” the old man laughed happily. “I had a Sorceress aboard one time, a wee lass if ever I've seen one, though not wee or bonney as ye, to be true. Couldnae do work te save her life.”

“Well, God's words instruct that good work and an honest spirit in service of the common benefit are the signs of goodness. I could hardly avoid work and call myself avoid priest.” I mumbled, grabbing one of the poles and pushing us off of an oncoming bank. I had no desire to go mud diving more than I needed too, fun as it was in its own way.

“Thar’s a good wae te look at things.” the old man took a puff off of his pipe, I couldn't tell what was in it. “Nae like them fancy Polnians, boots that move themselves. Pheh, t’ain’t right.”

“Oh, they have boats that do that?” This was the first I'd heard of Polnians having any such things at all. Though I knew it was one of the three kingdoms southeast of Brindon. They were one of the Successor kingdoms of the old empire.

“Aye, seen em meself I have. Big wheels on te sides of em. Work like oars I'd wager. One a their builder-king’s toys.” the man chuckled to himself. “e’re since he married their queen Polnia’s bin a bit odd.”

“mhm,” I mumbled in agreement as he continued rambling on about how unnatural self-proppelled vessels were, but my mind lingered on that builder king. If he had designed steamboats did that mean he was from another world as I was?

Maybe once I got Mary to Brindon I would travel and try to see for myself what kind of nation Polnia was.

______________________________________

“This is your fault Kromgar. We should not have stopped to tame those Aurochs.” Garfuk spoke, spittle flying through his teeth as he ate his breakfast on a table overlooking the human town on the river shore. Its bell had been heard ringing soon after they spotted some human Scouts shadowing them, and now it's walled were covered in guards. Garfuk was rather livid since he did not have enough warriors to guarantee its capture, even with his pets.

“Yes Shaman, I apologize for my foolishness.”

“Very well, just do not allow it to happen twice.” the loss of the gem had been a critical failure. His bid for war chief was likely in jeopardy without it and the powers it granted him. Placing the Auroch leg down on the table beside him he reached out, clutching his Sphere of seeing. With it he traced the movement of the Eye of the Ape-King to this town, but now…

“You are lucky this day, Kromgar, it seems your mistake shall not cost us greatly.”

“Shaman?”

“Rally your riders. They flee down-river. I will follow with the bulk of the hoard.”

“Yes, Shaman.”

As the commander swiftly made his way downhill, rallying the cavalry to move. He was at least quick, and reasonably capable, which is why his occasional mistakes were tolerated. He would have had most warriors skinned for losing the eye. “Keldor. Have the foot warriors pull back from the ridge and get the women and beasts ready to march. We will move when the sun has half risen. We march in the day and the night until we retrieve the gem.”

“Yes, Shaman.”

He did not know who exactly had stolen the eye from him, but whoever they were, they would not escape him. That artifact would bring him power and glory.

As he glared at the small boat displayed in his sphere he grinned a toothy and dangerous grin. No, they wouldn't escape.

‘Not by half.’

______________________________________

It was late afternoon when we first spotted the Orcish scouts, we were passing through a fairly steep valley at the time, and they were clearly visible as silhouettes atop the ridge against the low hanging sun.

The first thing I noted was that their mounts were enormous. They were Aurochs I supposed, the roaming herds of bovine creatures were the most common monster on the plains of Kelmo. They stood almost nine-foot high at the shoulder, with horns like spears, and would move in heard ranging from dozens to tens of thousands, at least from father's notes on the subject.

There was little doubt that they would be terrifying on the charge. Where the plains buffalo I had seen in my old life were dangerous due to their size, they were comparatively slow with their short legs, and their horns were small. These bulls were larger by a bit, but far more terrifyingly they were built like proper Spanish fighting bulls, and their horns were more dangerous to boot.

I said a small prayer for our safety before informing the group of our pursuers.

“Orcs in the distance.” I gestured, letting my pole rest as I pointed them out. “Likely spies for Garfuk.”

“mmm.” Joseph nodded, spying them easily despite his age. “After te girl are they? Tis a good thing we're followin this bank.”

The Orcs seemed to recognize this too, as the River in its center was too deep for even their enormous mounts to cross, and they were on the west side opposite us.

“Mayhaps I should send them a present,” I mumbled, grabbing my staff from where I had laid it against the cabin. “Flirm.” I took aim at the second rider, who had a bow slung over his shoulder.

The bolt of light raced downrange, striking one of the Aurochs and sending it tumbling to its knees, though it would hardly kill the beast, it's rider however was less fortunate, being thrown from the saddle as the beast bucked back up, growing angry. The other rider moved in to calm it but found his own mount also spooked by the magic and instead simply watched passively as his partner was trampled under the enormous bull’s hooves. I on the other hand simply prepared another spell. Having tried to harden my mind to killing if I needed too after the fighting last night. It still disgruntled me seeing the Orc trampled, but it didn't distract me the way it did the night before.

When the second rider saw me beginning to glow as I took aim he likely realized that his number was up, and he quickly fell back behind the ridge, slinking away to report to his commander, no doubt.

“Where's the nearest crossing those Aurochs could make?” Karsten asked hurriedly. I doubted he liked the look of the beasts any more than me. Mary if anything looked fairly calm about it, then again, she had grown up on the plains.

“Some ten miles downriver,” Joseph said, shoving off the side with a bit more force than I would imagine he had in his shoulders. “If we rush and the current holds we might be able to beat them there.”

“Then we had better hurry.”

What followed was, at that point, the most frantic half hour of my life. We couldn't see the orcs chasing us of course, they had learned their lesson, about approaching us where we could attack them, but they could be almost anywhere around us out of our sight with the hills at the edge of the river basin. The best we could do was hurry downriver and hope they couldn't mobilize to cut us off.

This, unfortunately, proved to be futile, as when we began to approach the ford I could see in the distance that there were orcs on their enormous mounts arrayed on both banks to welcome us like the teeth of a titanic mouth. Probably forty or so all mounted on bulls larger than rhinos.

“They've got bows among them,” Mary said, looking over my shoulder downriver. “Their leader will be the one on that big black bull Auroch near the front I'd wager. He has metal armor.”

“I can put up a shield against arrows, but only on one side.”

“Do it towards the west bank Father, Joseph, you ought to get into the cabin. We can hide behind it while we pass through. You've got a crossbow right, Mary?” Karsten analyzed the situation fairly calmly, his militia experience I expect.

“Aye, that I do.” I couldn't tell you where the redheaded young woman got it from, but she did indeed seem to have a crossbow held in her hand. She had somehow managed to pull it out in a blink as Joseph stepped hurriedly by into the cabin of the boat.

“Alright then, you and Father. We should all take cover behind the cabin and shoot at them, then they'll be forced to board. I'll engage them when they do.”

“Sure thing. “Xirvan Moxa Polnavan” I spoke and constructed a glowing wall of light to shield us on the west side of the boat, though I had to be careful to anchor it to the boat’s hull, lest we leave it behind with our movement. While it was a bit exhausting I also cast a “Figeronios” on Mary, her eyes beginning to glow with a light that would let her see and aim properly in the darkness. The merciful light having quite a few support spells of that sort, though casting so much in succession would likely leave me conned out after the adrenaline wore off from my childish system.

‘that should cover it for now I think.’

The Orcs seemed to realize something was up, as they began to move and I heard a few arrows bounce off of the shield or bury themselves in the eastern side of the boat. It probably wouldn't take them long to realize that their attacks weren't doing them much benefit.

The fwip of Mary’s crossbow sounded out and was accompanied by a yelp of pain that was audible even from the shore some 20 yards away from us. “Got one.”

I for one stood up on my feet, preparing to fire, it wasn't like I was taller than the cabin anyhow. I took aim at the lead orc’s mount and chanted a “Flirm” It was surprisingly effective, as while he spurred his beast to move and avoid my spell, it was simply an enormous target and it received the equivalent of a full body sunburn as the holy light slammed into it. This sent it crying madly as every part of its body was suddenly agitated by the holy magic.

While he struggled with his great beast of a mount, the rest of the Orcs seemed to begin to realize that this was not working as two more of their kin were felled by the swift bolts of Mary’s crossbow. With little other option, they began the quite possibly suicidal charge into the water towards us. With the current moving as it did in this shallow area, they risked being swept away even with such enormous mounts.

Still, their Aurochs were strong beasts for true, and a few even managed to catch up to our sluggish boat despite the water slowing them. However, even as they approached Karsten poked at them with his spear, driving them back and preventing them from boarding as the water got deeper around them until they were forced to turn back and retreat under the hail of crossbow bolts from Mary. The remains of the orc cavalry, having probably a quarter of their number injured, and almost all of them exhausted, were unable to seriously hamper us at the ford.

“That should have them off of our tail for a while,” I commented, resting after the fairly exhausting spellcasting. Firing off so many spells without a proper break between them was exhausting, and my Willpower was taking longer to recover as a result. “Where’s the next crossing.”

“Some 50 Kon downstream from ere, they likely will nae trouble us again this night, and by two days hence we should've outpaced them.”

“Even though they're mounted?”

“Aye lad, they pushed hard to catch us as they did. They'll need to rest their mounts t’least, whereas we’ll be headin downstream at all hours barrin calamity.”

“Huh.” I hadn't really thought on that before, but I suppose it made sense. A boat could keep moving basically indefinitely, no mount save a machine like a car or a train could match that.

“Now ye Lads and Lass get yer sleep. I've made this journey enough times alone to ken the waters t’night.”

I was glad to enter the ship's cabin as I was, though I did note the arrowheads protruding through the sideboards in a couple of places on the starboard side in my staff’s dim light. The sleeping arrangements were essentially just the boat's floor, as it was a single room with barely an 8/6 foot space at the back given that the boat was laden with cargo. It was here we ran into a bit of drama I had forgotten the need to expect.

“Eyes off, Knucklebrain.I need to change.”

Sputtering, Karsten immediately rallied to his own defense. “You're not telling Father to move.”

“He's a priest and a child besides. You, on the other hand, have been staring at my bum all day. Much as I appreciate the implied praise I Don't want you watching me change.” the woman turned to me. “Can you put that light out Father Abbot?”

“Eh, sure thing.” I cut the thin supply of will that maintained the light in my staff and it dimmed. My power leaving it and casting the cabin in darkness.

“Thank you, now turn away before I shoot you again.”

I turned as well, as much out of politeness as anything else. Besides, I had my own robes to shrug off before I got into my sleeping bag, a simple white sack of a bag, with a small fur pillow my father had given me when I was small.

“Alright, I'm done and in my sleeping bag now.”

“Thanks for your permission princess.” the clatter of armor signified that Karsten was also removing his armor, and he soon rolled it up in a pile next to me.

“How did your arm get that way?” Mary asked as Karsten was shrugging off his shirt into the pile. “All skinny like.”

“Eh, you can see in here?”

“Father Abbot blessed me earlier.”

I was sure that Karsten was giving me a look of utmost betrayal in the dark.

“Fah unfair woman, anyhow it used to be cursed. The Father cured it which is why I follow him, but the healing process…”

“Something like a third of his arm was irreversibly damaged by the curse. So I had to purify it. This was only a week ago mind, he's actually bulked it up a bit since then.”

“It's the exercise father.”

“Stop rubbing it in my face.”

“Heh.”

It was nice to go to bed in that sort of environment, rather than alone in my bed at the abbey. It felt nice to be intimate with these people, sleeping in the same room, Boris and his family were good friends mind, but they always had an aura of… worship, I guess, about them.

Karsten and Mary might not be family, but I still resolved myself that at the least I would try to protect them as such. My only real family in this world was already dead after all.

Nobody wants to be lonely.

______________________________________

Over the course of the next few days we saw neither hide nor hair of our orc pursuers, and gradually we started to leave the plains of Kelmo. At first, it was small things, the descent of the river got a little steeper and the water moved a bit faster, and the hills around us started to have trees on them. Eventually, the land itself got a bit greener and we started to see farms and the like, as well as small clumps of forest in the distance. I for one just hung out on deck and talked to the fish and occasional birds that would stop by. Fish are poor company since they can't play with you outside of the water, but they're cheerful at least. Karsten visibly relaxed as well, and Mary went back to caring about her hair and complaining about the bugs who came to visit at night.

It was refreshing to be able to relax once we were quite sure that the orcs were far behind us. I even managed to exchange some songs with Joseph, though I got the distinct feeling that Mary doesn't much like singing. I remember being sure she'd come around in time.

“Were inta Brindon territry now, t’won’t be long till we reach Felsburg.”

“Felsburg?” I asked as I cautiously eyed the bank, pushing off of it with my pole to the best of my ability.

“Oh, it's the first town on the river south of Riverbelly. It's the northernmost town in Brindon’s territory.” Mary answered, fairly cheerfully for once. “They specialize in meat pies and the like, especially the ones with cranberries in them from this one bakery on…” She drifted off into her own world to the rest of our fond smirks. Despite being a thief she had proved to be something of an airhead over the course of our trip. She would often drift into daydreams, something Karsten seemed to take great fun in a king her out of.

“Well, anyway, I need ta unload some cargo there Fer one'a me old freinds, wanted some Riverbelly beer. We may stay some hours docked.”

Karsten seemed to chuckle at that lightly before speaking up. “Hey, Mary you hear that? We're gonna be docked for a while, you want to go get some of those pies you like?”

That seemed to snap her out of her daydream and she nodded fervently. “Yes, please. I never get to have them except when I come through here.”

“I'll watch the boat then,” I said, pushing us off of the muddy bank once again. “Somebody has to.”

Karsten gave me an appreciative wink at that and I nodded in return. If he wanted to bring her on a date I wasn't going to complain. The two had become fairly friendly over the course of our little trip. It seemed that all the “staring at her bum” had eventually had an effect on the thief, or maybe it was just that they were the only two people of that age on a boat with each other for a week. Either way, their furtive glances had been getting more and more obvious over the trip.

Joseph seemed to realize what I was doing as well by the grin he hid by looking down, but he also didn't say anything. The old riverboat sailor obviously approved.

It was actually not too far after that that we started seeing other boats and fishermen out frequently. The old man seemed to know a few of them, often greeting them as we passed, and exchanging news. From what they often talked about it seemed that Brindon was involved in some sort of three-way power-struggle with the other city-states on the southern part of Mirno, but that it hadn't really reached this far north and it wasn't exactly a war just yet. It seemed that the people of the plains of Kelmo were almost a non-consideration normally for people this far south other than occasional trade. Kelmo as a while was more a region than a country since it's population was so tiny.

Soon we hit the edge of a fairly considerable forest, which was a bit easier to navigate in since we could push off of roots instead of just mud, but a bit easier to snag in due to the tree routes and wood in the river. The forest was quite pleasant, being the first one I'd seen since the mountain back home. The animals also were friendly enough, though they didn't seem to know how to sing along with many songs which was a little sad if not entirely unexpected.

It was about midday when past the trees in the distance Karsten spotted the red-brick walls of Felsburg, as well as a gatehouse positioned over the river with a large steel portcullis hanging from it. The gate was thankfully open at the moment, since it was midday, and we simply sailed under it easily enough.

Once we actually tied off, Joseph went to haggle with the dockmaster about the tariff, while I wished Karsten and Mary well on their pie-run.

It was relaxing traveling that way, downriver. It made me appreciate having read the adventures of Huckleberry Finn in my old life a bit more.

Well, Mark Twain never had to cast any spells, at least as far as I know.

As I was finishing tying off the boat I saw one of the local kids had come over. He was a kind of silly looking kid, with gangly limbs and a lightbulb shaped head, but he was wearing a big smile so I gave one back.

“Hey, you wanna play with me.” the lightbulb-headed kid asked, hope in his eyes and I cursed internally.

“Sorry, I can't ” I put on my best sad face. “I've got to watch the boat.”

“Aww, c’mon.”

“ehhh” ‘This is a bit outside of my exp… no wait.’ “Wait, I know a bunch of good stories. Why don't I just tell you one.”

As the joy returned to the kid's face I thought quickly to edit a story into one that would make sense to a medieval kid. ‘Alright, so what am I changing.’