《A Guide to Becoming a Pirate Queen》Chapter 33 - Family Dining
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Lyscantra
The neighborhood surrounding Gusto Della Caccia was the safest place on Drassun. It served as a neutral territory for pack disagreements and the restaurant itself was considered hallowed ground.
There was no killing here. Grudges were forgotten, and treaties were to be negotiated in good faith. I enforced these laws with impunity and always administered the punishment personally. Many wayward pups had lost their lives because of their short memory, and my shorter temper.
I had even given the Syndicate unfettered access to Gusto Della Caccia. It was one of the few places within pack territory that so openly welcomed the outsiders. Although the smart ones still stayed away.
Most members of the Syndicate didn’t seem to grasp pack politics. They would often cross the line of playful ribbing into the realm of actual insult, and it was rare for a form of suicide to be so assured.
And while the smart ones stayed away, a few of the really smart ones recognized long ago how much of a gift it was to have a neutral territory enforced by your enemy.
A few high ranking Syndicate lieutenants were regulars at Gusto Della Caccia. This allowed them a place to plot and meet discreetly, while giving me the ability to monitor syndicate politics. The relationship was mutually beneficial, and one day, when I used that information to kill every last member of the Syndicate on Drassun, I really expected everybody to benefit.
Daria brought us in low and we landed in front of the restaurant where a valet opened my door, allowing Nikko and Dezra to step out in front of me. Daria exited the cab and trailed behind the three of us.
We made it to the restaurant nearly a full hour before the Captain was expected to arrive. I estimated that she would attempt to arrive early and rarely was l wrong about such things.
A well-dressed man with gray streaks in his black hair approached me with arms outstretched. “Nonna! It is wonderful to see you again,” Thomas hugged me. “As usual, I reserved the upper floor for you and your guests.”
I couldn’t help but smile. When my daughter told me she was marrying a human, I didn’t speak with her for years until Thomas was born. He was a very soft man, but leaving Gusto Della Caccia to him and his husband is still the best decision that I have ever made.
They were both excellent chefs, and despite her taste in mates, Katia was a good mother. She had taught Thomas what was necessary to gain respect within the pack, and he took to it quickly.
Thomas was a wonderful boy, and my heart swelled with familiar pride every time I saw him.
I returned the embrace. Lifting Thomas off the ground before setting him back down again. “Don't call me Nonna, you’ll make me feel old.”
“You seemed pretty young when you fought that hydra in the arena last season. I doubt a title as prestigious as Nonna is going to age you any,” Thomas said as he led us into the restaurant.
That was true. I felt very young that night, it had been a good birthday.
“You flatter me.”
“You are very easy to flatter, Nonna.”
The first floor of the restaurant was as busy as usual. The tables were elegantly decorated but placed only far enough from each other to allow the serving staff room to navigate. We had equipped the windows and walls with sound dampening enchantments that eliminated the noise from the streets outside.
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This caused a noise dampening effect inside that prevented conversations from carrying too far from the tables. Most people didn’t notice it, but it allowed the busy room to feel intimate, regardless of the number of other customers.
“How is Jacob?” I asked.
“Same as always. He’s busy in the kitchen,” Thomas said. “Did you hear that I actually convinced him to take a day off last month? Nearly drove him mad.”
Jacob was a good man, but he was from a small pack, which meant he had a lot to prove. I had approved of his marrying Thomas on the condition that he earned his place.
“It is good to be busy. It means you are successful, Jacob knows this.”
“Yes, it’s good to be busy and yes, we are very successful. But it’s also good to spend time with your husband,” Thomas said. “I think he’s afraid of you. Would you mind talking to him for me?”
“He should be afraid of me," I laughed. "I threaten him often.”
We crested a staircase on the second floor. Here the tables were just as full, but there were far fewer of them and they were spread much further apart. Each table was equipped with its own sound dampening device that completely stopped conversation from carrying more than a meter from the table.
“Nonna, I will never forgive you if Jacob works himself into an early grave trying to meet your insane expectations,” Thomas stopped moving and turned to face me. “When he married me, he left his pack to join ours. That means, as alpha, his wellbeing is your responsibility. He can’t keep this up. It’s not healthy.”
“Fine. I’ll talk to him.”
“And you won’t threaten him?”
Such an insolent little pup. He got this from his mother, and I’d be speaking to her right after I had the conversation with Jacob. I was the alpha, and that meant I deserved respect. If I ever tried talking to my alpha this way, he would have killed me on the spot.
“I won't threaten him,” I said. “A simple reminder of his wedding vows should be enough.”
Thomas didn’t seem convinced, but turned around and continued to lead us through the restaurant, anyway.
The last level had only three tables, and the only sound dampening was to prevent noise from reaching the exterior or the lower floors.
They reserved this area for meetings that involved extremely sensitive subjects or that could turn violent. It was important that everybody in the room be able to hear such discussions, because if somebody broke a neutrality law at such a meeting, then witnesses were vital.
I walked over to the center table and took my favorite seat. Nikko and Daria stood behind me to my right, and Dezra stood to my left.
“Thomas, I promise I'll speak with Jacob. I'll even be gentle, and I'll ensure he gets the proper rest that you deserve,” I said.
“Thank you, Nonna,” Thomas said. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I smiled. “Now go! Bring some wine and some food. Prepare something that will suit an elf’s stomach and something a demon would enjoy.”
Thomas bowed and left to take the orders to the kitchen. I had felt an aura of amusement coming from Nikko and Dezra since the moment Thomas greeted us, and it was about time I did something about those two.
“Nikko, what do you think you’re doing?” I asked.
“Nothing, boss.”
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“Do you see this beautiful woman standing here?” I pointed at Dezra. “Have you once told her she's pretty tonight?”
“I have, boss.”
“Dezra, has he told you that you’re beautiful tonight?”
“He has, boss.”
“He's kissed you and made you feel like you're beautiful?” I asked.
A blush was creeping in on Dezra’s face and she was trying to stare forward while holding back a smile, but I could see her stealing glances at Nikko from the side.
“Yes, boss.”
“Nikko, when was the last time that you got dressed up nice and took her on a date to eat delicious food?”
“It’s been a while, boss.”
“You two. Go sit over there,” I pointed to the table to our right. “Order something, at least one meal a piece and have a good time. Drink something, but don't get drunk, because you're both still working tonight.”
“Yes, boss.”
Dezra took Nikko’s hand and led him to the other table, waving for the waiter to take their order.
“Daria, the captain will have a date and I don’t want to feel left out, so I’m going to steal you from Rashka,” I pulled out the chair beside me. “I think she’ll forgive me, if it's only for one night.”
“Yes, boss.”
Daria sat and placed her ever present tablet onto her lap before adjusting her glasses. She was blushing with just the slightest shade of red and was wearing one of her all too rare smiles. I didn't have nearly enough hubris to think for a moment that she intended the smile for me.
Daria only ever smiled at two things, and since everybody in this room was still alive, that only left the one possibility.
“How is Rashka? Is she doing good?” I asked.
“Yes, boss, she's doing very well,” Daria’s smile widened just the barest amount. “She's watching Nikko and Dezra’s pups right now, which she enjoys. Although, she was furious when you asked her to help with the delivery. I think the syndicate attack on the way back to our warehouse put her in a more manageable mood.”
Rashka was a massive pain in the ass. A little over a decade ago, she challenged me for the position of alpha and nearly earned it. After that, she kept challenging me every single day for a full month. Towards the end, she even stopped fighting back. I nearly killed the idiot girl at least a dozen times.
When I walked in on Daria treating her wounds, I finally realized what was happening. Apparently, Rashka never worked up the courage to court Daria, and instead, she was using the beatings as an excuse to see her.
The worst part is that Daria knew exactly what was happening the entire time. She just thought it was romantic, so she didn’t say anything.
There was clearly something broken in the women’s heads, and if Daria was any less valuable, I probably would have just exiled them both. Instead, I had to march Rashka out on a still broken leg, and forced her to buy an engagement ring.
They got married, Daria was happy, and Rashka stopped annoying me with challenges every day.
It was still the stupidest ‘how they met’ story I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing.
“… and it’s our 12th anniversary next weekend. I haven’t figured out what she’s planning yet, but I’ve seen her moving money around her private accounts, so I think it’ll be big.”
I knew what Rashka was planning, and it was big. It was always big. She regularly worked side jobs and would show up half asleep when I needed her, all so she could fund big romantic gestures for Daria.
But even a half asleep Rashka was more than enough to get most jobs done, and a happy Daria meant an efficient pack. So, I let it slide.
“I'll be sure that you two have the time off that you need for that weekend,” I said.
“Thanks, boss,” Daria straightened her glasses and her small smile faded back to her usual business frown. “I think the Captain is here.”
The Captain arrived looking very much the fancy executive that the useless dragon’s letter had described. She was wearing a well-tailored blazer and a pair of slacks that emphasized the delicate frame of a politician.
Somehow, even with her lack of apparent strength, the Captain had attracted the attention of the beautiful demon who was hanging off her arm wearing a tight black dress.
Despite her height and build, the demon reeked of power. Any pup with even a half developed danger sense would instantly recognize her as a threat. I could feel Daria tensing beside me and the conversation in the room suddenly stopped. I stood, placing a calming hand on Daria’s shoulder, and gestured towards the captain.
“Ah, captain. Please, have a seat,” I said. “It's a pleasure to see you well. I expect you didn't have trouble finding the restaurant.” It was important for me to remember which one of the couple had the higher body count. The demon was a threat to be sure, but few have killed as many people as Bryce Virra.
Thirty years ago, corporate headlines had her as the angel of death. The news feed had described Dr. Virra as a mad scientist who perfected a plague before unleashing it on innocent colonists, killing nearly 39,000 people. Daria double checked everything that the letter had claimed and from what she found, the numbers reported by the corporations were actually lower than reality.
There were 39,000 corporate colonists living in the system and none of them survived. But the reports didn’t include vagrant ships, unregistered colonies, or people who died after the initial event. It was possible, even likely, that the Captain didn’t know the real death toll. It was much closer to 50,000 and was still rising, even after 30 years.
“It was no trouble. In fact, there were rave reviews anytime it was brought up in conversation. It appears you’ve created quite the local landmark.” Bryce pulled the chair out to allow the demon to be seated before sitting herself.
I motioned for the serving staff and they converged to provide silverware, napkins, and fresh glasses that were filled with wine.
“I'm afraid that I can't accept credit. The restaurant belongs to my grandson, Thomas, and his husband,” I said. “I left him in charge of our meals for tonight. I hope you’ll be pleased.”
“We're at your mercy for the night. I trust whatever Thomas chooses will be incredibly delicious,” the Captain said.
“I've met you, captain, but not your beautiful fiancée, and I have failed to introduce Daria. Without her, we would have fallen to the pressure of the Syndicate long ago. She maintains the accounts, tributes, and information networks for all the packs on Drassun.”
Daria simply inclined her head, not saying anything.
“This is Thea. She saved my life while we were on New Eden, but we’re only dating at the moment, not engaged,” Bryce said.
“I’m sorry, it appears that I’ve been misinformed.” I glared at the couple sitting to our right and saw Dezra sheepishly looking away while Nikko laughed at her.
“It’s alright. We had a bit of a misunderstanding about that recently, too. It turns out there’s a bit of a cultural difference between the planes,” Thea said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“The captain is a very intelligent woman, Thea. She'll recognize your strength and propose a marriage soon,” I said. “Please, both of you enjoy the wine, it was imported from Maridoth some years ago. I think it didn’t agree with local tastes, so it’s been in the cellars, unopened.”
“It does smell lovely,” Bryce said. “Human wine is fine but-”
“But there's no substitute for the real thing,” I said. “We'll have a toast to ‘new and profitable friends.’”
I raised my glass, and the other three did the same. The elvish wine tasted like fresh floral herbs with a very short fruity aftertaste. Daria and the captain enjoyed it, but me and the demon seemed in agreement. It tasted like shit.
I couldn’t help but laugh as the demon gave up on the toast and spat her wine back into the glass.
“I guess the wine doesn’t agree with a demon’s taste,” I motioned the server back. “Please, tell me what you prefer and we’ll have it brought up.”
“Just a whiskey please,” Thea said. “And I’m a devil, not a demon.”
“Have Thomas pull a bottle of the single malt from my personal reserve,” I told the server before addressing Thea. “I didn’t mean to offend, it was my understanding that you were a demon that was summoned by the captain.”
“That’s almost entirely wrong. A warlock tried to summon and bind an ancient demon by sacrificing Bryce, but she fucked up and summoned me instead,” Thea said. “Forced summoning like that is, well, it’s kind of a dick move. So, I killed the warlock and formed a pact with Bryce.”
“I've heard worse stories of how mates met,” I looked towards Daria but she ignored my jab. “So the Captain didn't summon you, but you were still brought here in a ritual to summon a demon?”
“The ritual was prepared incorrectly. Which caused it to summon Thea, who is a devil, instead of a very specific demon,” Bryce said.
“I don't understand,” I said.
This conversation wasn't going anywhere and was becoming annoying. They were both clearly creating a mess where one shouldn't exist.
“She’s a devil, so calling her a demon would be like me calling you a human,” Bryce said.
I had made a very grave error. Blood feuds had been fought over less and now I was going to have to negotiate a contract with the captain after insulting her mate.
This wasn't a good way to start. Thankfully, my savior had just entered the room, and he took the form of Thomas carrying a bottle of my favorite whiskey. I poured Thea a glass before doing the same for myself.
“I didn’t know. Now I do and I won’t make the same mistake again.” I handed Thea the glass. “We'll drink to ‘gaining new knowledge.’”
Thea emptied her glass, and I matched her with a laugh. This was a very expensive bottle and not something to be drunk quickly, but I had already unintentionally insulted Thea and I had no intention of doing it again.
“It’s alright,” she said. “I don’t think very many people from the mortal planes have interacted with devils. As long as you don’t do it on purpose, I won’t get mad.”
I poured Thea another glass before refreshing my own.
“Then let us drink to devils on the mortal planes.” We both drained our glasses, and I topped us off again with a smile. I liked this one.
Thomas arrived with two servers, each carrying a pair of dishes on a tray.
“Thomas, we are going through this bottle far too quickly,” I said. “Please bring us two more.”
“Yes, boss.” Thomas set his plates down in front of Bryce and Thea, while another server did the same for me and Daria. The remaining server placed their dishes on Dezra and Nikko’s table.
The Captain’s dish was vegetables harvested from the local jungle stacked high with small specs of seasoning suspended in some sort of dressing. Jacob was the only person I knew who could make a pile of vegetables actually look delicious.
Daria’s meal reflected her very specific dietary needs, but Jacob worked his culinary magic. He used a healthy amount of spiced chocolate to mask the traditionally metallic scent of the dark red soup.
Although it was Thea’s meal, that made me worry. It was an oversized rare steak and nothing else. It was the most popular dish the restaurant served, and it’s what I always ate. I was worried that we had offended the devil again by Jacob making assumptions about her diet.
“I hope the meals are to your liking?” I asked.
“This is delicious. You don’t have an elf on your staff, do you?” the captain asked.
“There's no elf. Jacob is an excellent chef, and he regularly practices dishes from other cultures,” I said. “Thea, I don't think he's cooked for a devil before, so I hope it's similar to your usual diet.” She had already started eating and didn’t seem to have any issues so far, which made me less concerned.
“This really is delicious,” Thea said. “Although, I’m not sure if it matches my recent diet.”
“I’ll speak with Jacob, what are your preferences?” I asked.
She looked up from her meal before responding with a single word and a dead serious expression. “Elf.”
“Thea!” The Captain was blushing, Nikko and Dezra were laughing, and Daria choked on her soup.
I lifted my glass high into the air as I shouted into the room. “To having our cake!”
“And to eating her too!” Nikko, Dezra, and even Daria shouted the reply in unison.
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