《A Guide to Becoming a Pirate Queen》Chapter 14 - Dealing with a dragon
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Bryce
The temperature in the room increased noticeably as Thea seemed to seethe at the dragon. I motioned with my right hand and she took a step back to let me handle it, but the heat coming off of her only intensified.
Teolix was in a bipedal form. He looked for all the world like a lanky human, save for a few very distinct characteristics.
He had a line of tiny red scales lining where his crimson hair met his forehead, and bright yellow eyes with elongated black pupils that were poorly hidden behind a pair of lightly shaded glasses.
The dragon smiled impassively, with both of his hands resting on an honest-to-the-gods ivory cane. He was wearing a black dress shirt underneath a red blazer and matching pants. Scaled boots completed the ridiculous look.
Personally, I thought he looked creepy in an uncanny valley type of way. I had heard stories of how quickly a dragon could revert to the massive four-legged flying beasts of legend, and I didn't want to experience those stories first hand.
“Hello Teolix. It’s kind of you to come in person.”
We stood about five meters from each other. I didn’t make any move to get closer, to do that would give ground before the negotiations even began. I wasn’t about to show weakness now.
“I assure you, executive, the pleasure is entirely my own. I received the missive that was so kindly left at my establishment and trekked post-haste to the provided location.”
I hadn’t expected to hear from him before dark and I sure as the hells hadn’t expected him to meet me himself. That meant that he was either terrified or very eager.
Scared people rarely traveled alone to clandestine meetings, so I hoped that he had the building surrounded, because I really didn’t like the idea of negotiating with an eager dragon.
“You came alone?” I asked. His smile widened and took on a cocky undertone. The question seemed to amuse him.
“I did indeed. Miss Virra, you are very much an intelligent woman, so I assume you are aware of my nature. Which means that you should also be aware that I have nothing to fear from you, or from the demon that is incinerating the linens behind you.”
I turned around just in time to see a startled Thea jump off the charred remains of the comforter that I had slept on. She whispered an apology, and I sighed before turning back to the amused dragon.
“She’s not a demon, and I have no intention of trying to harm you. I just want to make a deal.”
Teolix cocked his head but maintained his smile while replying.
“Please understand that it is not a matter of harm intended, but of the capacity to do such harm. Beyond that, I can guarantee the demonic nature of the partner that you have so unwisely chosen for your tryst. She woefully underpaid my barman with a single iron coin for a bottle that was valued in the extreme. An iron coin that was minted in the forges that line only the banks of the flaming rivers in the burning abyss known as Hades.”
It didn’t surprise me that Teolix was underestimating us. What did shock me was that Thea had actually paid for the terrible bottle of alcohol. Thea seemed even more shocked that he thought she had underpaid for it.
“I’m a devil, not a demon, and I gave Braum one iron coin and three small gold, which is way more than any bottle of alcohol is worth. Even a bottle of good alcohol, which that wasn’t.”
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Teolix’s smile turned to a snarl, and he spoke through clenched teeth.
“I will concede the difference, albeit one of only semantics and not substance, given that the topic was of your nature and not your origin. Whether you be demon or devil, neither change your untrustworthy inclination, and inclinations aside, you are not the one I came to bargain with. Your will lies at the feet of the misguided soul who had the misfortune to conjure you from the depths, and it is with her I intend to deal. You will be silent, hell-spawn.”
I had to hold an arm out over Thea’s chest in order to stop her from attacking Teolix. The heat that she was putting off was enough to hurt. I barely stopped myself from flinching while I fixed the dragon with my best attempt at an intimidating glare. He continued.
“The bottle does not contain alcohol. Instead, its contents are of a far more, ironic disposition. I expect it to be returned to me, and I’ll be keeping the payment as a retrieval fee.”
Teolix calmed himself as he slowly switched his attention away from Thea, but his smile didn’t return and his voice was clearly strained. He was losing his patience. Honestly, so was I.
“Miss Virra, you will make the first offer, which I will then refuse. Only after, shall I make a counteroffer, which you will then graciously accept. That is how a dragon does business with the lesser races.”
I sighed and looked toward the enraged Thea. She had a hand on her hilt, and was staring with clear killing intent at the dragon who had been arrogant enough to dismiss her.
“Please don’t kill him. He’s probably our best bet to leave in an unmarked ship.” I whispered before I dropped the arm, restraining Thea. She sighed loudly enough that it caught Teolix’s attention.
He must have misinterpreted the scene because what he said next had me extremely worried about his life.
“It truly is wonderful to observe a master practitioner apply her trade. The control you demonstrate over that beast is astounding.”
Thea covered the five meters to Teolix in half of what it takes to blink. She then used the other half of the allotted time to lift him by the neck before slamming him to the ground.
I walked over at a much more sedate pace, taking my time to enjoy the sense of pride radiating through me.
I knelt beside the dazed lizard and saw that Thea hadn’t just lifted Teolix. She had turned her nails into black claws and sunk them into the sides of his neck with her grip. That wasn’t even the most surprising part.
Teolix had survived the impalement, and he looked pissed.
“Didn’t you say you wanted to test your fire against a dragon?” I asked.
Thea looked at me with a grin that put her fangs on full display before turning back towards the bleeding Teolix. I took a step back, and then a few more when the heat from her flames got to be too much.
A roar emanated from beneath the inferno, but Thea only further intensified the heat. The roar turned wet and guttural, but the fire only burned brighter.
“Enough!”
There was a flash of crimson light as Thea flew backwards into one of the larger stacks of boxes. The dragon was left alone standing in a crater of molten concrete that still glowed white hot around the edges.
This was no longer the lanky human form Teolix had arrived in. Instead, it was the truly impressive form of an adult dragon whose massive head brushed the 8 meter tall ceiling.
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Burnt flesh replaced a large swath of scales and camouflaged five large gashes in the monster’s neck. The damage seemed to reflect what happened in his human form.
“I had fully intended to garner your willing assistance, but this sort of insolence cannot be allowed to fester. I will first devour your pet, and then we shall discuss your punishment, executive.”
Teolix’s voice had lost his usual drawl. Instead, he spoke with a deep, resonating growl.
There was no way that I was going to let him make good on his threat, so I immediately started a long incantation that should finish the fight while Thea distracted the giant lizard.
Fire poured from the dragon’s maw, engulfing the pile of boxes where Thea had landed and splashing against the steel walls of the warehouse, leaving them radiating a bright red.
Once the burning assault finally finished, Thea stepped out of the inferno, patting away the residual flames on her pants and jacket.
Thea’s skin was unblemished, but her outfit was a complete loss. Her own flames had burnt away her entire right sleeve, and the rest of her jacket was still smoking from the dragon fire. What remained of her pants was barely held together by a few scorched threads and the soles of her boots were leaving footprints of molten rubber.
She was grinning like an idiot.
“Remember! We want him alive, just rough him up a little.” I had stopped the incantation in order to shout the reminder, but I still didn’t like Teolix’s chances of survival.
Despite that, I offered Thea more of my mana. Her grin turned to laughter as she accepted it, and charged forward.
Teolix moved fast to intercept her with a jaw that would have easily closed around her entire torso. Rather than try to dodge it, Thea caught both halves of the toothy vice, holding the dragon’s mouth open.
Teolix pushed Thea backwards until he had her pinned against the warehouse wall, but she never released his jaw.
A bright light appeared inside of the dragon’s mouth. I could hear Thea speaking in a calm tone that offered no room for interpretation.
“You already know that I can burn you with my fire. I’m going to offer you one chance to yield before I give you the worst case of heartburn in all of history.”
A silence hung over the room. Teolix didn’t continue attacking, but he didn’t yield either. The light in his mouth began to intensify, so I interjected.
“Teolix! We’ll consider this a draw and deal on equal footing. You still have what I need and we have a lot to offer, there’s no reason you need to die.”
“Yeah, fuck that,” Thea snorted, and the brightness intensified faster. "I’m killing him."
“I yield.” Teolix bellowed, and the light instantly went out.
“Party pooper,” Thea pouted, but released the dragon’s jaws and took a step back. “You’re buying me a new outfit.”
Teolix reverted to his human form and rubbed at his jaw with a hand as he walked back towards me. He looked ridiculous.
His hair was exactly the same, but his shirt was missing, revealing burn scars that covered his muscular chest. All the clothes he had left were a pair of cracked glasses, red pants, and scaled boots. Somehow, his cane was entirely undamaged. He looked like the world’s worst stripper.
“I respect the power of your summoned devil, and I’m willing to deal with you on equal terms, executive.” Teolix’s drawl was back, but his tone was less condescending, so I suppose that was a win.
“I didn’t summon Thea. We have a pact, but there aren’t any command conditions. For all intents and purposes, she’s completely free.”
Teolix blinked in surprise and considered Thea with a look of actual respect.
“It appears, that I have misinterpreted the situation. Please accept my most sincere apologies, Miss Thea.” He offered Thea an outstretched hand, but she just stared at it with a frown. “I will, however, insist on a rematch at a later date with equal stakes wagered by both parties. Preferably, in a location that will allow me the full use of my weight.”
“I’m keeping the bottle.”
Teolix seemed reluctant, but eventually replied. “Consider the bottled Djinn a gift, as a token of respect, and a spoil of your victory.”
“Deal.” Thea smiled and shook the dragon’s outstretched hand.
Teolix addressed the two of us. “I will negotiate on equal terms the two of you acting as a single vested party, which puts me at a distinct disadvantage. As such, I must insist that the opening demands be yours.”
I wasn’t entirely sure of the logic behind that, but it was probably a dragon thing. They adhered to vague guidelines and unspoken rules of respect when dealing with one another. Because I didn’t know all of those rules, we would still be at a disadvantage.
Of course, Thea could always just outright kill Teolix, which evened that out a bit.
“Very well. We would like to purchase a non-corporate ship and a navigator that is properly attuned for it. We’re willing to pay four times the market price in credits from an anonymous account if you can get it to us in the next twelve hours.”
Teolix didn’t seem impressed or surprised by my request. Instead, he replied with a placid face and an even tone.
“I am afraid your offer will not be possible, on two separate, yet equally solvable accounts. I have but a single ship available to me that matches those requirements, but it is without a proper navigator. The previously attuned navigator got it in her head to overdose on a shipment prior to take off.”
He had a ship but no navigator, which would be nearly as useless as no ship and no navigator. We couldn’t leave the system without a navigator, and it would just be a matter of time for corporate investigators to find us if we stayed.
“What’s your solution for the lack of a navigator? And what’s the other issue?” I asked.
“I happen to know the approximate location of the only unaligned and available navigator on this colony. As for the second solvable conundrum, you are entirely without wealth at this moment, as I have absconded with the contents of your anonymous accounts.” I looked at Thea, and she confirmed he wasn’t lying, so I turned back to Teolix.
“You took my money?” I stared at him, unbelieving.
“Every. Last. Credit.” Teolix used his cane to punctuate each word. “The unsavory individuals that so graciously set up said accounts are in my employ. I’ve been poised to empty your veritable coffers ever since their conception.”
I was getting a headache. Luckily, I had recently discovered that Thea was an excellent source of pain relief during times like this, so I looked at her and she nodded before cracking her knuckles and moving towards Teolix.
“Now hold on just a moment. I said these issues were entirely solvable and neither of them will be solved by another fight involving the two of us.” The dragon looked panicked as he took a few steps back from Thea.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t really call what we did a fight.” Thea remarked, but she stopped to look to me. “What do you want to do, princess?”
“Well, if you kill him, we won’t have access to a ship and I still won’t have any credits,” I sighed and crossed my arms against my chest. “Okay, what’s your solution for you stealing all of my money?”
“Beauty and wisdom in equal measure. Simply negotiate with the reluctant navigator and convince them to fly with you, a task you would need to complete regardless, then finish the delivery that the previous addict prevented, and the ship is all yours. Without payment.”
Okay, so we just had to convince the navigator to come with us and complete a delivery. It sounded incredibly shady, and too good to be true. To make it all that much worse, I’d still be without any money in the end.
“That sounds too simple. What’s the catch? Also, what about my money? We can’t just complete a delivery for you and end up penniless on the other side.”
“I believe that a functioning ship is more than adequate payment for such a delivery. As for the catch, this navigator has proven themselves to be quite stubborn. They worked for me in the past, but ended employment after a few unsavory types got a little handsy with their younger sister. Nothing overly untoward happened to the girl, and the aggressors were dealt with harshly, but the navigator still refuses to work with me any further.”
The navigator didn’t feel safe with their sister on board a crime lord’s ship. That shouldn’t be a problem if it’s just us, and we just needed to convince them of that. Easy enough, but there was still one last issue.
“Teolix, what about my money?” I asked.
“I would be willing to arrange a quarter of the accounts total in exchange for a simple task to be completed while you are still in the colony. I believe that to be more than fair compensation for your time. Consider the difference: tuition for a lesson in trusting others with your earnings.”
Fuck that, I wasn't about to let him get away with nearly all of my money and just chalk it up to tuition.
“I want it all back. What’s the task?”
Teolix stood there impassively, his expression not changing as he replied.
“I’m planning a bit of a surprise for the local government, placing it under new management, and it would be mighty helpful if we had access to the colony’s automated defenses. All that would be required of you is to sign into a console and forget to sign out. I think that half of your previous fortune is more than fair compensation.”
His plan wouldn’t work. The automated defense systems required direct override access that could only be done from the council chamber with the correct codes, and they had to be spoken by me. I explained that to him before amending his previous offer.
“All the credits from my accounts, plus another twenty-five percent, and I’ll give you a full voice imprint with every single executive code I have memorized. That’s my last offer. Once the corporation gets word of the explosion, they’ll revoke my access. So, the more time you waste trying to negotiate, the less time you’ll have to use the codes.”
That probably gave him thirty-six hours of free rein in the colony. After that, my codes would be revoked, and he’d be locked out of executive access.
There was a lot he could do in those thirty-six hours, but if he took things too far, then the corporate police would intervene. I didn’t think that was something he would risk.
“I believe, that we have found ourselves in agreement.”
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