“Your Gloriousness!” the same dwarf from last time burst through a pair of double doors and panted as he placed his hands on his knees, taking the same posture as before. “Your Gloriousness! Terrible news!”

Vur lowered his mortar and pestle, placing it beside a pile of penguin feathers. “What is it?” he asked with a frown. “Don’t tell me you lost another fortress.”

“No, we didn’t,” the dwarf said as he straightened his back. He took in a deep breath through his nose before exhaling through his mouth. “The reinforcements we sent to Popp’s fortress…, they completely vanished! There weren’t even any signs of a struggle! They entered a valley but never came out, and distress flares weren’t sent up. Some supernatural phenomenon is taking place! Our men are being whisked away without a sound; their corpses aren’t even left behind.”

Vur’s frown deepened.

“I know what’s happening,” Sheryl said as she appeared on Vur’s shoulder. Instead of her usual formless fireball appearance, she took the shape of a phoenix with a pair of arms sticking out of her back behind her wings. “It’s definitely Zilphy. She’s a prankster.”

“Zilphy! That’s right!” the dwarf said, smacking his palm with his fist. “How come we didn’t think of her? She hasn’t been active recently, but she’s terrorized our cities for the past thirty years.”

“Didn’t I declare that names shall no longer have a Y at the end?” Vur asked while furrowing his brow. The dwarf gulped and opened his mouth to speak but closed it and hung his head.

“Zilphy’s a wind elemental,” Sheryl said, saving the dwarf. “She doesn’t fall under dwarven jurisdiction. How strong is she, Deedee? You know her best.”

“How many times must I request to not be called Deedee?” Diamant asked with a sigh. A blob of brown light appeared by Vur’s forearm, bobbing up and down as if it were being rocked by waves. “Zilphy is officially a gust elemental, but even tornado elementals recognize her as their leader. She refuses to evolve because it’d be easier for people to notice her, and all her hobbies depend on her not being noticed.”

“She’s a pervert?” Stella asked as her head popped out of Vur’s chest. She yawned and clapped her hand over her mouth a few times before blinking twice. “It’s decided then, Vur won’t contract her. I don’t need wind in my world anyway.”

“No, Zilphy’s not a pervert,” Diamant said. He paused. “Actually, she may be, but I wouldn’t know. But the hobbies of hers that I do know include stealing things, playing pranks, and eavesdropping and spreading rumors.”

“She sounds like a fairy,” Stella said. “I don’t like her.”

“But you’re a fairy,” Sheryl said, tilting her head.

Stella puffed her chest out as she flew onto Vur’s head. “Exactly, one of me is enough.”

“But you don’t steal things, spread rumors, or play pranks,” Vur said, rolling his eyes up to look at Stella.

Stella coughed and averted her gaze. “Anyway, like I was saying, don’t contract with Zilphy. Beat her up for messing with your army, but don’t contract her, got it?”

“Do you steal things?” Vur asked and scratched his head.

Stella coughed again. “If I stole something, where would I even put it?” A dry laugh escaped from her mouth. “Ah, look at the time. So sleepy. Good night.” Her body dissolved into motes of purple light that disappeared into Vur’s head.

Vur blinked and looked at Sheryl. “What did she steal?”

Sheryl shrugged. “Something small probably,” she said. “Fairies can’t steal large objects. Maybe a coin?”

Vur grunted. “Probably not important,” he said with a nod. He glanced at Diamant. “Do you know where Zilphy is? I don’t like third parties interfering in my games.”

“War is not a game, Your Gloriousness…,” the dwarf said.

Vur ignored him and prodded DIamant. The earth elemental sighed. “I know her favorites spots, yes,” he said. “She and I have a … complicated relationship. When I was still clan master, I was rich. And Zilphy’s a thief. It’s not a surprise we ran into each other a lot. It always ended with me chasing after her though.”

Vur nodded. “Then we’ll find her and force her to stop messing with the dwarves,” he said and turned towards the dwarf. “Reinforce the fortress again. Even if Zilphy takes our soldiers away, I’ll make her return them.”

***

Mr. Skelly sighed as he looked at the report in his hand. The skeletons had captured over five hundred dwarves in the span of four days. The logistics of settling them down was giving him a headache. “If only the mistress was here to deal with the technical stuff,” he said and sighed again, flipping the report back to the first page.

Alice’s body tensed for a second before relaxing. “Mistress?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at the skeleton sitting across from her. They had relocated back to the fortress, deciding to settle down after dealing with the first wave of reinforcements. “What mistress?”

“The mistress,” Mr. Skelly said, placing the papers onto the desk between him and Alice. “The one who gives us life after death, our lord and resurrector, Lindyss the Corrupted One.”

“So mistress is a title,” Alice said with a nod. She exhaled and leaned back in her seat, then frowned as she wrinkled her brow. Why did she even care? She shook her head. “Then she’s the head of your weird religion, right? What’s she like?”

“It’s not nice to call other people’s religions weird,” Mr. Skelly said, causing Alice to roll her eyes. “The mistress…” He rubbed his jaw and squinted his eye sockets. “The mistress’ hobbies include knitting, ruling kingdoms, and spoiling Vur. She’s cruel to her enemies and … even crueler to her friends. The fairy friends, at least. She’s nice to Grimmoldesser, but that’s because it’s hard to be cruel to a dragon—because death.”Mr. Skelly nodded. “She’s a good person if you look past the fact she’s evil.”

Alice pursed her lips. “What kind of description is that? How can a good person be evil?”

Mr. Skelly scratched his head. “She’ll sacrifice thousands of people to help those close to her,” he said and nodded. “Sacrificing people is evil, but she’ll do it for a good cause. It’s like that.”

“She sounds insane,” Alice said with a frown. “I hope I never meet her.”