“Your Gloriousness!” a dwarf burst through a pair of double doors and panted as he placed his hands on his knees. “Your Gloriousness! Urgent news!”

“What is it?” Vur asked, dropping the penguin in his lap onto the floor beside him. It squawked and ran into the corner of the room, covering its head with its wings. Its bare butt trembled as it shivered, its talons clacking against the tile. Vur deposited the feathers he was holding into a bag and dusted off his hands.

The dwarf looked at Vur, then at the trembling penguin before clearing his throat. “Poppy lost the fortress he was holding,” the dwarf said and lowered his head.

Vur tilted his head and furrowed his brow. “Who was Poppy again? Why do all of your names end with a Y? It’s too difficult to remember. I declare all dwarves shall drop the Y in their names. Poppy will now be referred to as Popp. Moony will now be referred to as Moon. Zappy will now be referred to as Zapp. E will … stay as E.”

The dwarf hung his head. “Our names have been shortened even further,” he muttered. His eyes widened as he remembered what he was there to do. “Ah! Poppy—err, Popp was the holder of the fortress by the human territory near the mountains.”

Vur frowned as he pulled out a map from underneath his butt. He opened it and spread it out on the floor in front of him. “Which fortress did he lose?” Vur asked, raising an eyebrow. “The one near the mountains?”

The dwarf cleared his throat and scratched his neck while shifting his weight from foot to foot. His face contorted as his voice lowered. “Popp was in charge of the fortress that you, err, specifically told us we couldn’t lose no matter what under any circumstance at all even if the world were to end and the grim reaper offered to trade our lives for the fortress.”

Vur frowned and crumpled up the map, throwing it over his shoulder. It hit the penguin on its head, causing it to cry out, but Vur ignored it and glared at the dwarf in front of him. “You lost it even after what I said?” he asked. “How?”

“We, we’re not sure,” the dwarf whispered. “All communications were cut off yesterday. We haven’t received any responses to our messages, and our scouts say the fortress looks like it’s been abandoned. There’s no lights or movements or sound coming from it. They, they say it’s like all the residents were spirited away. Even the gate and windows are wide open. One of our scouts went inside, and … he was too scared by the atmosphere that he left. Unfinished meals were still left on the tables, but there were no signs of any struggles. Opened books and uncomplete homework were found in the children’s rooms, and the stoves still had food being cooked with no one watching them.”

“Large-scale teleportation?” Vur asked. “That’s not very fair.”

“There were no traces of magic,” the dwarf said, biting his lower lip. “The men are scared. What kind of supernatural force are we fighting against?”

Vur snorted. “Refill the fortress,” he said. “If this happens again, let me know. I’ll go check it out myself if it does.”

“You’re not afraid of ghosts, Your Gloriousness?” the dwarf asked, eyes widening.

Vur raised an eyebrow. “Ghosts? I’ve eaten one. They’re not very tasty though—like bland noodles.” He waved a hand. “Go get people to refill the fortress and bring me a feathered penguin.”

“Yes, Your Gloriousness,” the dwarf said and saluted. He trotted out of the room and muttered to himself, “Are there any un-feathered penguins?” As he turned a corner, a cheeping sound caught his attention. He opened a closet door, and a group of naked, pink penguins greeted his eyes, their shriveled bodies huddled together for warmth. He stared at them before closing the door and scratching his head. “Huh. I guess there are.”

***

“Why did we leave?” Alice asked, furrowing her brow at the skeleton army. Somehow, the small group that she had led before swelled into a massive flood of undead. All of them were working together to carry enough dwarves to fill a fortress. Just a day ago, those dwarves were, in fact, filling a fortress. “That spot was a perfect location for defense. They’re not going to fall for a fake end of war tactic again.”

“Says who?” Mr. Skelly asked. “Only these fellows know about that strategy. I’m sure we can hit two or three more fortresses before the dwarves start catching on. For genius inventors, they’re not very wise.” He chuckled. “Besides, do you really think we left without doing anything to the fortress?”

“Didn’t you?” Alice asked. “I didn’t see any of you doing anything odd.”

Mr. Skelly clacked his teeth together. “You should learn to pay more attention,” he said. “Some people could steal your shoes from right underneath you and you wouldn’t even notice.”

Alice snorted and rolled her eyes. “What a load of baloney. Were you not confident in holding the fortress? Is that it? I know you skeletons run on those blue stones, so it really is possible for them to siege you.”

Mr. Skelly sighed and shook his head. “You’re still so wet behind the ears,” he said. “Sometimes, to take two steps forward, you have to take one step back. Haven’t you noticed the direction we’re traveling in?”

“The direction?” Alice asked and raised her head. “We’re going east.” She paused. “Wait. Why are we going deeper into dwarf territory? I thought we were retreating?”

“When I tell my men to retreat, I just mean for them to leave the vicinity we’re engaged in,” Mr. Skelly said. “Retreat doesn’t mean return to our base. Look, the fish has taken the bait.” He pointed off into the distance. “Fairies, camouflage!”

Alice frowned as a group of dwarves appeared on the horizon, marching towards the fortress the skeletons had abandoned earlier. A wall of mist appeared in front of her face, blurring out the approaching dwarves, as the fairies set about hiding the group. When the dwarves were within shouting distance, Mr. Skelly raised his hand into the air and closed it into a fist. The skeletons moved in unison, approaching the dwarves’ army from the side. At the very end of the group, there was a dwarf riding a pony with a musket on his lap. Mr. Skelly leaned forward and grabbed the dwarf, covering his mouth with his hand, and pulled him into the mist.

“Hey,” a dwarf said as he turned his head to the right. “Did you tap my shoulder?”

“No,” his buddy said and raised an eyebrow. “Maybe it was Jacky pulling a prank.”

“Jacky?” the dwarf asked, turning his head to the left. No one was there. “Dude, we’re following military protocols right now. Get out here and stop playing around.” He turned his head back to his first companion, but he had disappeared as well. The dwarf stopped marching and looked behind himself. A grinning skull stared him in the face. Before he could scream, a rag was shoved into his mouth and his body was engulfed by a light mist, disappearing from view.