It was the pain in my back that woke me. I pried open my eyes to see blurry dark gray stone. As my eyes adjusted slowly I could make out stone walls speckled with green moss, rather than the off-white textured ceiling of my bedroom. I groaned loudly, rolling over in my half conscious state and flailing my arms halfheartedly in search of my pillow. My head was pounding and my vision seemed to waver as I came awake. As I rolled, a hard knob poked into my hip and the sharp pain brought me back to the world.

I looked around in bafflement. My bed for the night had apparently been the floor of a shallow cave. The walls were rough stone, limestone maybe? The floor was scattered with detritus, animal droppings, sticks, leaves, and a good amount of dirt. Cool air and the faint sound of wind came from the entrance above. My nose was filled with the smells of moss, earth, and stone. A far cry from the stale coffee, old carpet, and dirty laundry of my apartment.

“Musta been one hell of a bender” I muttered darkly as I attempted to wrangle my limbs under me. I climbed to my feet and staggered, putting my hands against the cool stone as the world around me wobbled and my stomach tried to empty itself. I groaned again as the world swirled crazily before slowly coming into focus. My brain searched for what I’d done last night and came up empty. It wasn’t that I couldn’t remember at all, but there seemed to be an odd fog over the memories. I had a few vague impressions of being home but nothing to clue me in on on how’d I’d apparently ended up passed out in some cave, in the middle of who the hell knew where.

I’d been drunk but I’d never been this drunk. My first night in college I’d overindulged enough to throw up but not enough to blackout. This was a first, and honestly I couldn’t imagine why I’d done it, or even where I’d done it. Drinking was all fine and good in it’s place, but I’d personally always been more of the ‘having a few brews with the guys’ type, than ‘hitting the parties and getting plastered’ type. Some assholes had likely thought it damn funny to pack me up and leave me out here.

It was then I noticed my clothes….. Or lack of clothes as it were. My pants were coarse canvas shorts, tied with frayed string. Other than that I wore nothing. Leaving my broad shoulders, flabby stomach, and rather epic tan-lines exposed to the cold morning air.

I took another look around the cave searching for clues and finally spotted the object that had awoken me. On the ground was a rusty looking knife with a crude wooden handle. Apparently, I’d been laying on it and that’s what had dug into my hip when I rolled. Shaking my head I left the knife and walked up the small incline and out into the bright sunlight. It was time to get moving and get back home.