I exited the hotel exactly as she suggested, and post haste. It proved easier than expected despite the lobby's madness. People were distracted, uncaring, or oblivious as I stepped through their carefully choreographed battle. And if you don’t believe I walked out of there, watch the boring footage on the recording. I really stepped by as a madman with two chainsaws screamed bloody murder at Stretch.

What, did you expect me to stick around and hope some other improbable event would put all those idiots in their place? I decided to stand up, not be stupid. Trying to join the fight would have solved nothing because my power only kept me alive and generally unharmed in the long run. That meant someone could have put me in a choke hold, leaving me useless while the problem mounted during my unconsciousness.

So, as said, post hasting out was the best option. At least my presence would move on and it would take time for the next problem to kick in. Everyone could go back to their once a week dramas instead of an endless chain.

That put me, a dead body, and one floating eyeball recording everything coming out to a field of tan fog. I still didn’t understand the colored haze thing. It made no sense because that hotel place hadn’t been tinted this way inside. Only the light coming in from windows had even hinted at the light brown coloration.

“Well, floating mechanical minion, here we are again,” I said to the mechanical eyeball. “Just so you know, traveling near me doesn’t come with dental, or whatever you dirt robots use.”

It ignored me and started lazily panning across a dull landscape. Turning around revealed that the hotel had vanished. Where exactly it ended up was beyond me, along with the fates of all those powered people inside. My feet managed an entire three sixty before returning to the orb.

“Do you have a compass?” I asked.

It floated soundlessly around. Every so often it would turn to face a new direction or zoom in on scenery. The actions looking nothing like an agreement or response. I sighed then looked down at the dead woman. She hadn’t gone away with everything else. My feet hurt and clothes looked worse. Some of the combat must have brushed close by, but thankfully Cindy remained untouched. Aside from having a crushed hand, needle marks, a gut wound that still seeped, and the whole dead thing.

Right. Thinking about the dead woman in my arms is clearly boring. Let’s just ignore that for as long as possible.

I started walking forward, and that went on for a long time. Enough time to be hungry and regret not eating more when the hostess recommended it. The package of crackers I had tucked in a pocket back there somewhere would only last so long.

Anyway, tan surroundings happened for a while. At some point the ground under my changed texture. It went from bumpy rock with roots to flat and comfortable. A few steps later it went back to bumpy.

I didn’t notice this happening at first. At the time I kept trying to figure out how long my stay at the hotel had been. Counting the seasons of television shows wasn’t helping, and all the witty one liners spouted by actors were less entertaining when I attempted to repeat them. The floating round camera also acted unimpressed.

Then there was something different, in the way of black fur, flaming red hooves and a horn. Those items were less obvious than the giant horse’s ass. It’s long tail reached out and flicked my nose before either of us realized what was going.

“What the hell?” I muttered.

The beast’s legs pranced to one side. A black eye framed by darker fur was revealed. It looked up then, flared its nostrils then went back to chewing on a row of bright red flowers on tan bush.

Yes, that was a black unicorn. Which obviously made perfect sense. I carried Cindy and myself in another direction very slowly. The huge horse and it’s disturbingly off color fur didn’t look up during my entire careful backpedaling.

I got lost in tan bushes and around a dozen more trees. After a series of confusing twisty turns more of those weird ass bright red flowers appeared. Their bright contrast from the rest of my situation made me pause to look around. Sure enough, the black unicorn was there too with its velvet rainbow horn.

“No. Do not want,” I muttered then shifted Cindy’s body. And no, I don’t know how I managed to hold onto her for so long. My arms fucking hurt. The movement caught this beast's attention and it lifted an obsidian furred head up. Half a crushed flower and bushes were scattered all over its body. The pedals dribbled in red slobber.

He, god above it obviously male, looked at me. His head lowered then shook. One leg jerked and both the creature’s eyes were bloodshot. Its neck continued twisting side to while legs trotted a curve. Noises came out that sounded like angry sneezes.

It moved closer and I tried to calmly place trees in the way.

Then the damn giant nightmare horse neighed reared up, gave a much louder whiney, and cantered over in a drunken line. His head kept dipping followed by back muscles shaking out a mane. I took the actions as bad then tried to move away faster, slamming right into a tree.

“Garow?” I said while both eyes rolled. No, uttering that noise still doesn’t make sense. You’d think this sort of stuff would seem better or at least have a point, but in hindsight my life is made up of random shit. Why not admit there were sound effects?

Keep in mind that I was still god damn hungry, past exhaustion, and carrying a dead body. You might be saying, why hasn’t Adam passed out yet, to which I will answer; I have lots of practice at functioning with nearly no energy. Admitted, carrying dead bodies was unusual and running from unicorns fell firmly into strange territory.

The beast swayed unevenly into a tree, same as I had. He gave a startled yelp and I took a breath then tried to move faster. The sea of tan went on for miles. Trees came and went in circles. Those damn bushes kept popping up while the sound of staggering hooves carried on behind me.

“Go away!” I shouted between huffs.

It didn’t listen.

“I’m not a virgin!” Technically I hadn’t completed the deed with a woman at that point. To add more technicality on the prior technically, it’s a whole thing involving time loops and no lube. Let’s not keep thinking about that, please.

The black unicorn neighed and slammed into another tree. I kept trying to run and somehow got too far ahead. For a fourth time vibrant red flowers came into view all along a high rosebush. Clearly the powers above were putting me in circles for their own amusement.

Hot breath from a high face hit my ear. Steam hung in the air and a puff of red petals shot over my shoulder. The fucking thing had snuck up on me. I turned, saw the long nose, heard a snort of laughter straight from the horse's mouth, then yelped like a little girl and ran again.

My heart pounded in a loud but exhausted cadence. Both feet flopped in a hustle. A scent lingered in my nose making focusing even harder. Its breath smelled like fireballs, and not the lava tossing kind, but cinnamon flavored whisky.

I ran straight, ended up in a god damn circle, and back to the red roses. My mouth hung open as hooves clomped along behind me. The unicorn trotted, or staggered, right past me then started munching the flowers.

“Okay,” I stumbled away. “You do that. And I’ll just, see myself out.”

There were no obvious markers. Scuffs along the ground clued me into the horse’s prior movement. I picked an untested direction to escape along. The horse, of course, did not like my attempted flight for freedom. It neighed then started stumbling forward through bushes behind me.

“Nooo!” I didn’t know what to do. Horses are huge, and while this one didn’t act like it wanted to disembowel me, I also had Cindy’s body in my arms. Being chased by a bit of rose-eating-nightmare went counter to the current plan. Admittedly, the current plan was carry Cindy’s dead body to somewhere stable and ask if Jade could pay to have her properly buried.

She just didn’t strike me as the kind who had a lot of people who might care. Or if she did, they wouldn’t be surprised to find out the woman had died while drugged out. Cindy was my first step, or a step, or, you know this probably sounds insane. I’m repeating myself but if anyone out there worries about why I wanted to carry a dead body around with me, stuff it. Stuff it hard and sideways where the sun doesn’t shine.

We went in a circle again. I turned to find my unwelcome stalker close by. The black equine stared at me, snorted then shook its head back and forth. The creature pranced a few steps to the side and kept making the same shaking whiney. Both huge lips raised back.

“You’re laughing at me?” I asked the jerk as my eyes went wide.

It nodded, snorted then reared up again bringing huge hooves down towards me. The black unicorn started to gallop but hit a tree instead. Branches with tan leaves fell down but the beast didn’t look hurt at all. Instead it rolled around on the ground and seemed on the verge of doubling over in amusement.

I backed up while it continued to drunkenly roll around in a bush. The beast wouldn’t stay still and those roses must have been something strong. My arms finally started to give. Cindy’s body weighed too much. Arms, head, and legs were in pain. Whatever powers that be didn’t make me a super human who could run on forever.

Both knees buckled forward. Cindy’s body was set down harder than desired. I paused and stared down in confusion. Oddly, she looked almost at peace among the disturbed red flower petals. My eyes blinked rapidly trying to brush away tears for a woman I hardly knew. Our only relationship was being in the same hotel room, and my attempt to help someone had resulted in her death.

The red orb eyeball camera floated around silently. It took pictures of everything because it came with an endless storage. Seventeen hundred hours of videotape, no tact, and a self survival instinct that machinery made from dirt shouldn’t possess. My unicorn companion found the thing hysterical and kept trying to charge it. Footage of a horned horse charging into trees with shuddering crashes was added to already recorded nonsense.

Ted must have a few of these things for his jobs. I wondered if the footage of this journey would be worth a damn to his business. What story could he take away? It wasn’t me that made any of this valuable; years of existence in this endless nonsense cycle had numbed me to a lot of the problems.

Then there was Cindy.

I picked up a vibrant red pedal and put it to my mouth. At first there was no taste then a trickle of liquid hit the back of my tongue and burned, clearing stuffy sinuses and jolting my awareness. They didn’t make me more awake, but alert, like sharp flavored caffeine which resulted in jitters but couldn’t prevent exhaustion.

The horse stopped playing tag with Ted’s eyeball cam and wandered back to chew a few more of its precious roses. I ate a few more pedals myself while trying to relax. The breather helped a little. Pauses were a thing to be enjoyed.

Eventually our wall of edible red roses lost their luster as we both chewed a few more pedals. Their colored faded entirely into tan dullness. The horse’s eyes grew wider, if that were possible, then his head shook as it trotted closer. It bent over, touched its horn to Cindy’s lifeless body, then started snorting again. The beast went from peacefully large drunk to angry snorting beast. Hooves kicked sending clumps of dirt around. It’s head shook harder as it backed up. I sat there staring at it.

The horse reared twice more yelling out a whiney of displeasure. It landed then pranced in a circle before facing away and tore into the distance. Bushes burned then curled backwards as flame torched them. Blacked plants didn’t regrow, and the pathway stood out among a tan landscape.

I sat there for a good five minute waiting for the unicorn to return. The black furred unicorn had vanished and didn’t come back.

“Bye,” I said at last. “Nice, whatevering with you.”

The camera floated a lazy circle around us. I picked Cindy up slowly, felt a sharp pain in my side, then shuffled forward once more. Labored breathing returned quickly but otherwise my mind felt aware enough to keep going. Cindy’s body felt heavier. At least there was an exit to escape from.

The brief pause and jolt of awareness provided by those roses helped me perk up. This time the changes in ground beneath me were more obvious. I felt it go from uneven dirt to solid ground, almost asphalt but a bit more bouncy. Eventually it went away and I kept ambling forward searching for the change in texture. My brief bit of energy started to fade as I debated waiting for something to happen to me instead of trying to push forward.

That was really the choice in my life wasn’t it? It still is, do I be reactive and let things just occur around me while I act like it doesn’t affect me? That method hadn’t worked so well for the last few years. People suffered more often than not. Or I could fight back against this mess of constant troubles and oppose them. Which would be better?

I think I had heard a poem, or some line from a play about this sort of nonsense. Taking arms against a sea of troubles. I hated plays though, they were too fake. People dressed up with makeup to put on a stage production meant to spice of someone's life, where as I had all the a soul could need. At least in television the border between fakery wasn’t as obvious. That’s why I loved reality television shows. Maybe they were a bit fake, but I couldn’t tell.

The flattened road lasted longer the fourth time, then my foot caught on a bush that hadn’t been there a second ago. Exhaustion coupled with hunger and a weight in my arms made matters worse. Tan surroundings faded as the momentary change made me lose focus. Up came the earth to greet my face in a long overdue reunion, like a tree falling the woods with everyone around. Nose and teeth smashed into bushes and thick brush.

“Woh, holy shit!” a man squeaked.

“I hate my life,” I mumbled into the ground as my eyes watered. Cindy’s body sat pressed under me which it rated high on the list of most awkward moments to occur. Plus I had witnesses to spread the tale of me molesting a corpse far and wide.

Yes, I know talking about her is tactless, but it felt god damned weird. She was like a lifeless messy version of The Alice and that bothered me. My stomach churned and all the barely suppressed nonsense started to catch up with me.

Salt hit my tongue one second before everything else started coming up. I hastily tore myself away then retched into a no longer tan bush. Dry heaves plus the earlier face-to-ground smashing turned the colorful world blurry. Foulness stung the inside of my nose. Every sniff made the sensation of sickness worse.

Someone rustled through bushes behind me. Emptying myself until nothing but dry heaves were left made turning to look at the newcomer hard, but I managed to anyway. A thin black man in running clothes stared at me. He held a phone in one hand recording.

“Is that girl dead?” the man’s eyes bugged out and lips turned down. He pointed towards the ground with a finger.

“Nope, just napping,” I deflected while taking a shuddering breath.

“She’s dead isn’t she?” He bobbed and pointed downward with more emphasis. “What is wrong with you, yo? Did you kill her?”

“You caught me red handed. I did it in the forest with mind bullets.”

The man had already made up his mind while phoning the police. At least I assumed it was the police. He started talking and my stomach proceeded to try and empty itself again.

Sourness lingered for ages while the man spoke. I felt so fucking thirsty. My shirt came off and was used to wipe away grossness. It almost helped clean me up. A hot shower would do wonders but the idea of standing up for that long made my knees wobble.

“You stay right there, mister crazy homeless murderer,” the brave black man said. “No funny business. I’ve trained in Jujitsu and Krav Maga.”

“Idiot,” I mumbled between gasps for fresh air. Both eyes watered and dabbing away with the shirt didn’t help. It gave me time to try and make out my surroundings. Tall buildings sat in the distance towering over a row of bushy trees. They weren’t pine, so this probably didn’t belong to the west coast.

I recognized one of them. The building in question was a tall pillar that, if memory served, had an observation deck on the highest floor. Up there anyone could overlook the rebuilding area of central New York.

“Murderer! The murderer’s right over here! Officers! Officers!” he warbled. His accent provided another clue. The casual accusations which assumed who and what I was before any real fact checking were coupled with an attitude.

I wanted to spout a whole litany on how a real murderer wouldn’t be carrying around the dead body in a public part. It did no good when arguing in this region of the world. There were places that bothered me to be trapped in. Texas was perhaps the worst, especially since they paid me to keep out and ever law enforcement official had memorized my face.

“I need your phone,” I huffed instead.

“Nuh-uh. You’re a crazy homeless axe murdering psycho. You just stay right there.” He bent at the waist then backed up a few steps.

“Or you could let me borrow yours. I’m not going anywhere. I’m tired. I’m tired, cold, and been carrying a corpse for-” I didn’t fucking know how long.

He cut me off. “That’s because you just looking for a place to bury her.”

I tried to rub my face and calm down. It didn’t help the shaking and my t-shirt hadn’t cleaned up enough. “You’re a goddamned idiot.”

“What? You can’t call me that.” His head zipped up and down to double check exactly who I was.

“Let's say I did kill this woman,” I swallowed and tried to summon all the deranged lunatic acting skills available; my life was full of good source material, “Let’s also say I was brave enough to carry her around in the middle of Central Park, because sane people do that sort of thing.” God help me if this wasn’t central park. My entire bluff would go out the window.

I leaned, and the man backed up. His face twisted and lips went in different directions. Eyes scanned up and down my body. With no shirt, barf platters, the guts of people fighting at the hotel, and rose pedals, I must have looked damned impressive. Maybe he was confused by the lack of muscles and cinnamon breath. Either way the look he wore could only be described as disgusted terror.

“Let’s also say I was just chased in circles through, I don’t know, a dirty back alley of reality by a drunken unicorn. Let’s add on that I really hate New Yorkers. Because only idiots in New York would stand here talking to me. Any other god damned place the people would run, or shoot,” I said while getting closer to the man.

“I don’t know,” his voice sounded annoying. There was this high pitched needy whine to it that made me want to hang around him until something mildly terrible happened.

I swallowed and tried to shake away the thought. Both feet stepped back to give the man some room. “Or maybe, I’ve been having a really bad day and need to let a friend know what’s going on. Do you think, in that case, maybe a decent person would help me make a simple god damn phone call?”

He managed to look everywhere but my face in the next ten seconds. His feet and legs didn’t stay stable. I wondered why the man hadn’t simply run away or throw stuff at me in a hissy fit. Maybe he was mentally damaged, or secretly a powered idiot who felt safe despite my appearance.

Surprisingly, the man handed over the phone. I took it, said “thank you” and proceeded to punch in Jade’s number.

“You better not be calling long distance,” he dared to speak up. The man inched closer to protect his phone. He kept picking at the air but being too afraid to yank the phone and run. “And stay away from my pictures.”

I turned my head slightly while waiting for the phone to stop ringing. This guy was either the nicest asshole I had ever met, or oblivious that his actions, words, and attitude didn’t line up. Some people are just weird. Remember that if you can, some people aren’t worth trying to figure out. They’ll never make sense.

“And no text messaging. I don’t want your freaky homeless friends knowing my number.”

My eyes rolled and knees buckled. The ground felt more comfortable. The shaking from throwing up stayed with me. The insanity of those last few days kept hitting me over and over. Meeting Ted, The Alice, Hotel whatever, then Underdog and Cindy’s deaths had been a lot of crap back to back.

It was just nonsense. My life was nonsense. It didn’t even have a solid theme or at an ebb and flow. The drama simply changed channels as if I were on a television show being watched by some interdimensional version of Survivor. Maybe if they got too bored I would be voted off the island. I, as an existence, made less sense than this effeminate black guy out for his morning jog both calling the cops then giving his cell to me.

“Adam?” Jade’s sleepy voice picked up the line. “It’s five in the morning on a Sunday,” she faded in and out. Rustling could be heard along with someone else mumbling in the background. A series of images hit my head as Jade’s powers happily transmitted more than enough information.

Jade, was being Jade. I suspected there was rarely any time she didn’t have some messy form of sex going on. Sometimes I wondered if it was just her inner thoughts leaking out. She could have been along in bed, but based on the imagery bouncing through, Jade wasn’t.

I tried to suppress my own thoughts. Talking to my lawyer came with a side effect of her thoughts being projected. Especially since the only number I knew by heart was the private phone line.

“You know my life. It waits for to get to work and check Emails before the shit demons attack.”

“Okay,” she spoke slowly. The sensation of fingertips brushing across someone’s thigh conveyed itself unbidden through our phone call.

“I’ve had a bad few days. I need to arrange a funereal, or see if someone else can for this girl named Cindy.” I sighed. “Then there was this fight between Underdog and Stretch, a team I didn’t know. And I can’t explain it all now because the guy who’s phone I’m borrow doesn’t know the meaning of pacitance.”

“Okay.” She giggled again then said, “If you have a minute, two calls came in for you. I’ll play them for you. Hold on,” Jade yawned then the sound of electronic beeps filled up our line.

The black guy, whose name I still didn’t know, put up both arms and actually whimpered a bit for his phone. I shook my head listened closely as a new audio picked up.

“Adam? Is, god I hope you’re real. Is, it’s me. Alice. At least I’m Alice, sometimes. I’m Alice here and there,” the woman on the other line stuttered. She sounded lost, confused, and almost dainty. “Please let this be real. Please let me be sane,” sometimes Alice whispered into the phone before her voice grew firmer. “Adam? If it’s really you, can, can you find me? I’m, I’m a few blocks away from this train station. They, I had to hitch a ride with this trucker. He smelled, but, god I must sound crazy. I need to meet you.”

As her voice died down, my mind stopped registering everything for a moment.

My lawyer picked back up. “She’s a rambler. I got her address but that was two days ago. I have no idea if she’s still around but we can hire someone to look for her if you want. Your rainy day funds might have enough for a few hours of leg work,” Jade spoke slowly. “And then there’s your other guy with the job offer,” she paused to yawn then started to giggle. “Just remember, proceeds will be managed by the firm, then used to cover your expenses.”

“Okay,” I ignored the mental images that went with her giggle. Honestly, what her mind suggested couldn’t possible happening anyway. No one could bend their leg that far, right? The damn woman made me feel like a trapped voyeur. I almost belted her with the image of Underdog stomping for but held that one back.

“Sir?” a very authoritative voice tried to speak up. “I need you to put that phone down and answer a few questions.”

I turned and saw a pair of police officers standing nearby. One had bent over to check Cindy’s body for a pulse. He gently lifted an arm to see the bloody clothing and where she had accidently cut herself. Her arm looked so damned thin, and staring at them made me lose the first few parts of my second message.

“Just a minute, please,” I asked the officer.

“Adam! I’ve contacted your lovely lady lawyer and started clearing all the paperwork.” Ted sounded excited with an oddly professional accent. “Would you believe she actually wanted these things signed in triplicate? Anyway, the deal’s still on if you’re able to show up. I’ve got some surprises that will help make our dreams come true! At least they should, truth be told I don’t know if they’ll work for sure, but I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

“Sir, put the phone down,” a man in uniform said over squeaking protests of the jogger.

“All I need to know is if you’re still interested,” Ted’s message kept playing. “Once you come back from wherever you went to. You’ll have to tell me all about those-”

“Sir,” the police officer’s voice turned unfriendly. “This will go easier if I don’t have to arrest you. All we need are some answers.”

“One moment,” I turned slightly and tried to hear more of Ted’s message. The black man, who had been hovering near by, dove for his phone and yanked it out of my hand. Ted’s next few lines were lost. “Hey, no! Please!” I yelled while reaching for the phone.

The black guy bobbled then looked at my crazy face, which felt flushed and aggravated for the first time in ages, then his precious phone. He held it up as if I were a bomb. At least he was helping.

“Jade! Tell him I accept! And find Alice then let her know she’s not crazy!” I shouted at the phone.

“Sir, you’re coming to the prescient with us to answer some questions. Since clearly you’re not in your right frame of mind and a possible danger to yourself and-“ he tried to utter a bunch of lines that all sounded like babble.

“And I’m being arrested!” I shouted. “So some other bad shit will probably happen soon!”

Jade’s response couldn’t be heard. I tried to hop but two people in uniform were rapidly restraining my arms. They won the fight. The black man put phone to ear then actually managed to blush. He pulled the phone away and pressed speaker. I heard the tail end of Jade’s speech.

“That’s nice,” Jade mumbled then yawned again. Her voice was barely audible through speaker phone. “I’ll have breakfast sent over for you. And based on the area code, I might be able to drop by to get paperwork signed.”

“Okay!” I shouted. “But move quick! This week’s been shitty!”

“Can I see the phone?” a woman in uniform asked the jogger. “We need to get the number he called, in case it’s an issue later.”

Having said my peace, I stayed quiet. Another man had arrived and was pushing back the bushes to get a solid look at Cindy’s remains. The blood had long dried and her body sat stiff from time. Her arms were curled together and once again I tried to remember how long we had walked in that tan fog.

An officer started putting cuffs around me, he didn’t sound rude but the words rolled off. Those two messages were enough to make my entire life veer left. I went limp, which made the man trying to arrest me curse in annoyance, but in the end two people hauled me away.

Then, in that last second before I rounded the corner, Cindy’s leg jerked on its own. No one else acted like they noticed. Both officers kept me moving to the park’s edge.

“Figures,” I muttered as they hauled me away. Two minutes later, as I was being loaded into a police cruiser, the black man’s shrill screams echoed happily through the park. Hearing his upset howl made me grin.

Notes on Power Limitations and when the word limit means bugger all Name: The Shared Energy Well

Translated from Technobabble by Captain Longhall, the sucker currently in charge of Area Fifty One

There’s a lot of shit I write about. Most of it’s drivel that will matter for six days of hell then cease to be important for the next decade. That’s how our world works. Nothing, then out of left field comes a giant radioactive mouse that can only be killed by a twit wearing all green that can recite the alphabet backwards while drunk. I shit you not, see file #402. That bullcrap happened on my Christmas vacation. Divorce followed swiftly after.

If you’re searching this pile for important things that matter today, now, and on day one. This file right here is near the top. I’m marking it with a wall of sticky notes and a screaming betty. These things almost make the job worth it. Nowhere in this rollup will you find an apology. You’re not a baby. See file #856 for a real baby. Read the first note, and don’t go into the fifth floor of our western ring. You’ll know the one, because all guards are instructed to shot your ass if you try. The password is in the file too, and pray it doesn’t come to needing that.

Anyway, I’ll sum this concept up in pretty words that even a nitwit volunteering for this job could understand; superpowers only have so much energy. Here, I’ll even write it twice in case you don’t understand how batteries work. Super powers of any origin only have so much energy. This is important because without that repeatedly proven truth some maniac would have put a death beam through the earth’s core decades ago. They can’t, it takes too much energy.

I’ve talked about it before and this file goes into more details with enough examples to give a math geek the phallus of a god. They could swing that shit into every whore house in Asia and still come out throbbing, which is why I boiled it down for you. It’s high time we both face reality, if you’re taking this job on, you ain’t a math geek. You ain’t got time for reading all these files.

That being said, there are a few notable oddities to the concept above (as if life didn’t have enough headaches, now the infallible rule has an exception). We’ve classified these existences / people / dimensions / small planets as ‘no go’ - with numerical designations. They are nearly impossible to manage and unlikely to ever do anything but keep you up at night.

If you're searching for files to read, don’t touch the ones titled ‘no go’. You probably will, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.