《The Fiasco》Book 1, Part III - Interview questionnaires should be true false, not essay.
Advertisement
Ted didn't so much pull out an item from the ground as let it rise to the surface. It was a car, a red convertible of some sort.
“What is that?” I asked while pointing at the former mound of dirt. That bio-regradable stuff must have been something special.
"1975 Stingray, for the most part. Best of all, when we crash this baby it just turns back into dirt. Then I can make another one. Plates are randomized for the police and insurance companies." Ted held out both hands towards the car as if it were on display. His hand reached down to caress the hood in a way that felt disturbingly sexual. It might have been the twist his lips that did it.
I'm not sure what was stranger, the fact that he talked about crashing a beautiful car like this so easily, or that it was made from dirt in the first place. It still barely registered on my lifetime achievement of weirdness scale, but the most impressive things in life were often simple understated.
We got in. The front was tiny. This object made from the dirt was completely without a real scent. It’s engine practically purred which felt equally amazing.
I stared out the window and wondered what my newest trip to hell would entail. Would it be a meteor? Space invasion? Inter-dimensional portal? Maybe a herd of hyper-intelligent bovine fighting small raptor chickens. None was far fetched or even came close to the worst occurrences I lived through since getting my powers.
Two hours later and I finally felt warmed up. Fingers reported back with normal responses and my little toe wiggled just fine. My shoes were a mess and might not last the rest of the month. These pants had fresh holes in them and I could feel the clammy upholstery under my thigh. Ted didn't seem to care in the slightest.
"We headed somewhere exciting?" I asked.
"I bet you have an odd definition of excitement." He tilted the mirror and checked his face.
"I once watched an entire six seasons of Greatest Losers without interruption. I think that was the highlight of my life." I remembered fondly the four days and fifteen hours of peace.
Ted tilted his head and tried to figure out what that meant. He did that a lot. I wasn’t being sarcastic this time either so watching him try to sort out my comment was funny.
He nodded then said, "I never really liked that show."
"It's funny." A bit of emotion crept into my voice.
"Why? It's a depressing bunch of people sobbing and finally trying to change their lives around. I can't stand that sort of nonsense. No drive in those people."
I shrugged. It almost sounded like a jab at me, like I hadn’t tried to turn my own situation around
Still, there were plenty of reasons the show amused me. It wasn't watching the misery in others that made me happy. My enjoyed was from watching a bunch of people sobbing about the supposed hell their lives had become while being completely ignorant about how bad things could truly get. That made me chuckle frequently. What's that, you lost your wife, kids, and had a heart attack? Woe is you. I've been shot at six times this year by lasers alone.
It was barely July. I was on track to beat last year's record by a landslide.
"Well, you’re being coy. Tell me the whole story about that one day, will you? I'm a sucker for tidbits like that." He smiled that annoyingly plastic grin that almost reflected a gleam of the sun into my eyes. “Makes the news exciting. Real humane stuff.”
Advertisement
"Maybe," I said. Commitment to any cause was pointless with my life. Tomorrow I might be in Atlantis being chased by Squid people. "Where are we going?"
"South! Then a bit west, then more south.” His fingers pointed at the highway ahead. “The drive’s rather boring overall, but we have a few stops that might be exciting.”
"Why?"
"Preparation! Unless you happen to have a lot of money laying around." He asked.
I stared at him blankly for a moment. Usually, when villains talked about getting money, robbery was involved. But Ted only seemed to be a part time bad guy. In fact, I was still rather unsure what he actually did for a living beyond newscasts and kidnap people.
"I’m clearly a rich man," I said dryly.
In reality, any money I got was eaten up by liens the minute it showed in any bank account. The little bit my lawyer managed to protect went towards his legal fees and basic survival for me. The courts allowed me about ten bucks a day for food and even then they wanted to cut that down. Someone actually speculated that my power would find a way to keep me alive despite not having money for a meal.
My own lawyer countered that by demonstrating the last time I had been starving. Genetically modified bees had actually raided a farm to the ground and deposited chunks of pork in front of me because I was wearing a beekeeper suit after my own clothes were destroyed. Something about pheromones for one of the least attractive female aliens I had ever been chased by.
"And where are we going to end up?" I asked.
"Who knows. The universe is fickle. Hopefully somewhere useful, with a dash of entertainment and profits." He acted like the one with a curse was him, and not me. Of course, I knew the universe was fickle, and kind of an asshole.
"Ted."
"If you mean, what is my current destination?"
"Sure.” I resisted the urge to steer us into a wall. “That sounds like my question."
"We'll to test your immortality. There's only one sure-fire way to do that."
"Trying to kill me?" Maybe he'd succeed. Should I be happy about that idea?
"What? No, who on earth would want to do that?"
"It happens," I muttered while feeling the car door again. It felt smooth and warm from the sun, exactly like a metal hood should. The seats were great. Ted had even cranked the heater without a question, real heat. From dirt.
"Well, you'd know more than I. And I guess the on earth part is probably a bit restricting in your line of existence." Ted smiled again as we neared a larger city.
My back tensed up a bit. I wasn’t sure exactly where we were, but it might be one of the places I had been paid to avoid when possible. It looked like Portland and a giant river sat under us. We were crossing the boarder.
"Frequently." I got back to Ted’s question. Aliens and pocket dimensions were an annoying place to travel through. Eventually, I always ended up back on Earth.
"Well, about my offer. You up for a bit of field journalism?"
"You're serious." I still felt flabbergasted. Ted had suggested that perhaps my powers might allow me to be part of the news.
I was sitting in his car as we drove down the highway. For a villain, he was being awfully obedient with the speed limit. Especially in a car like this.
Advertisement
"Usually. I haven't had an excuse to joke about anything in a long time. Plus finding a joke that doesn't involve lying is difficult." The man actually sounded sad.
"I can see how that might be annoying." I responded while running through the offer again.
"It's downright depressing, but this isn't about me. What we talked about earlier, would you be interested?"
"In reporting stories for your company?" I asked.
"Not just my company, there's three of us.” Ted held up fingers in my direction but kept his eyes forward. “The other two manage the site and TwitBook feeds. I travel around trying to stay ahead of the big battles."
"Because that's not dangerous," I said with a frown.
"It is. Extremely, and the pension sucks.” Ted acted like my words hadn’t been sarcastic. Or maybe he was looking past it for the job offer. “Stock options are negligible, I've got a bad leg that makes running away difficult. The list goes on."
"Why do you do it?" It sounded terrible for a normal person. I heard that some people were actually hero journalists but never met one. I learned a long time ago to avoid the aftermath where possible, much fewer reporters in general.
"Fanboy syndrome. Plus I like being part of the action." He sounded completely honest. The man’s accent had ironed out to a smooth sort of baritone.
"So why give it up?" I asked while wrinkling my forehead.
"I'm getting old. Plus being in more than one place at a time is hard. I figure a man like you would be perfect."
"Because I'm always in the middle of it."
"Right? Perfect footage. Just wire up a camera. You do field work, I'll switch to the lighter stuff. Interviews I suspect. Overall we'll have more stories, more exciting things. Plus we can do tear downs afterward. Though you'll have to work on the delivery."
"I'll do that." I tried not to sound sarcastic but failed. Ted had been nothing but nice even during our awkward abductee scenario but I couldn't get the dry delivery out of my voice. Not for him, not for anyone.
"Plus, you might meet Ice Princess again. If you can get her to confirm the Ice pick event it'll be stellar for ratings," he said.
Meeting her again did sound good. Though not because I wanted to rehash an event I'd already seen. Maybe we could put her up for an award. Did Ted's company have those? Heroes and Villains most humorous moments? I could suggest we add that bit during the next board meeting.
God. I was already thinking about what to do in the future. My mind had glommed onto the idea Ted had thrown me with surprising ease. Because it was the first time someone had said they needed me since High School.
And being needed was a powerful lure.
"So I can pursue any story I fall into." I verified the offer’s details.
"Yes, sir." The voice grew sharp and curt.
"Just record footage and upload it?"
"Yes, sir!"
"And you'll pay for it?" My head spun a bit.
"Share of website profits based on hits. The better the stories, the more you draw in. Just starting a newscast would be huge. Adam Millard, Ultimate Fan Boy turns shares his experiences. We’ll need a good tagline, though. Fanboy sounds too needy." ted turned to look at me for a moment then squinted. Our car nearly drove into the other lane before the man righted us.
"It sounds great-” I spoke slowly in an effort to reduce my normally dry tone. “-except for my little problem."
"What's that?" He asked.
"Everything around me tends to explode." Buildings. Cars. Toy poodles. Not that I missed them. Cars maybe. I'd only bought a completely new car once. It was disintegrated just after pulling it into the driveway of an old apartment.
Death Rays. To hell with them.
"No worries. We'll figure out something. With enough money and the right connections everything manageable." He shrugged like the destruction and chaos around me was just another Tuesday.
"I'll believe it when I see it." I probably wouldn’t believe it then.
"Negativity doesn't solve many problems."
"It’s a wonderful cure-all so far."
Ted shrugged and kept on driving. A few more miles passed in peace. Ted started increasing our speed. His eyes shifted around looking for something. No longer was he worried about traffic rules. I sighed once then waited.
He clearly had a plan. Some grand scheme that would result in achieving his goals. When he'd thought of it was difficult to say. I tried to study him out of the corner of my eye. Ted didn't look over, didn't really seem to notice me at all. His eyes were focused on watching the road.
"Speed limits are optional," I said.
"Nope, they just mean I have to focus.”
"On what?"
"The timing," He said. I opened my mouth to make a remark but Ted kept on going. "Do you know how many supers there are for each normal person? Including all origin types."
"Too many."
"It's one point three for every one hundred thousand normals, and I’m rounding for the sake of argument."
"Could have fooled me." The number sounded precise enough, but there always seemed to be a powered person running around somewhere nearby. As if I were within ten miles of a hero at any given minute.
"Well, then there's the infrastructure. Support crew, henchmen for the cowls, bigger hero teams have about twenty or thirty supporting staff. Not to mention the corporations built on the market." Ted switched lanes and kept up the speed. There was a smile on his face at something in the distance.
All I could see was another stupid offramp that crisscrossed over a river.
"Sounds like a booming market," I said while waiting for the next problem to appear.
Ted frowned at me, then went back to his speech. "So what are the chances that one person would get so involved when powered people are so rare?”
"I have the greatest ability ever." My eyes blinked once then a rush of air escaped. It felt like we were rehashing pointless topics.
"Your power attracts other powers. Why is that?" Ted asked again as if driving at something important.
"I'm one of God's favorite children." I tried harder with my sarcasm.
"God didn't make you such a negative person. He places the challenges, it's up to us to rise to them." Ted activated some evangelical style accent. His voice raised at the end like we were holding a sermon. I tried not to roll my eyes while considering how to separate from Ted. This conversation was rapidly wearing on any sanity I had. "Don't believe me? Time tells all. Anyway, if we can explore the limits of your power, we can figure out how to work that to our advantage."
We were speeding along the highway. Too fast for my liking. We were certainly blazing past the people next to us. They honked, flipped us off, yelled out their windows as our stingray drove through.
"They already did tests," I said while looking around. Our speed had passed standard and moved onwards towards breakneck.
"Adam my boy, you've lived with your ability for so long, but it sounds like you know nothing about it." Ted flipped the engine up again. For a modified pile of dirt, we were getting some incredible speed. Having the top down made it that much more obvious we air pelted at us.
"Because it's brought me such unquestionable joy of the years."
"Adam." Ted wasn't looking at the road anymore. He was looking at me. We were speeding up a curve that traveled towards a bridge. That bridge extended high in the air about a huge river.
"Ted?" I questioned, hands gripping the seat. This wasn't the kind of ride to town I'd expected.
"I hate sarcasm." He didn't turn with the road. Didn't follow the dotted lines. A kindergartner understood coloring in the borders. Ted broke those rules, sending us careening through a thick layer of asphalt, out over the edge.
And for a brief moment, it seemed like we might take off into the sky. Until gravity caught up with us, like it does to everything
We started sinking. My stomach lifting up past the lungs, I wanted to scream but air whooshed by. Behind us cars hit brakes, horns honked. Metal crashed. None of it mattered as the front of Ted's dirt made Stingray oriented downward, both of us going with it.
Ted unbuckled his belt. One hand was already yanking out a glowing red orb from the dashboard. Almost immediately the car started crumbling back to its earthen roots.
Clods of dirt around me. Falling. No more seat belt. A wall of water below that would break bones and possibly kill us. We were two hundred feet up, traveling in excess of eighty miles per hour. I'd never made it to higher math, but something about those numbers felt deadly.
"Geronimo!" Ted yelled in glee. His voice going back to the high pitched TeleGraph tones. I had enough time to turn my head towards him and try to scream something back.
As my mouth opened I noticed a figure swinging in through the air. Just enough to regain my sanity. To remember that I'd survive this one too. Blue and yellow clothes nearly form fitting a younger body. Ted's arms windmilled through the air. I tried to relax.
The figure slammed into both of us. Taking our deadly fall and violently shifting it in another direction. My neck nearly whipped around.
"Shit, Shit shit shit." The figuring held me under one arm. Ted under the other. Both of us awkwardly close for our situation. I was left staring at a pair of feet and a sinking dirt pile behind us.
"Wooo!" The part-time villain yelled.
"Shit shit shit!" Cursing came from somewhere around my rear end. We swerved to the left violently. Then right again. Slowing down didn't seem to be happening. My heart hammering.
"Oh fuckity fuck fuckerson." Finally, we banked left, spiraling upwards like a corkscrew around one of the half sized skyscrapers nearby. The accent brought a breaking like effect with it as we climbed upwards. "Oh god, ooooh god. Holy Jesus." Our savior sounded like he was regaining composure.
"Disneyland couldn't do better!" Ted's face looked childishly excited. A smile almost etched itself into his features.
"Hoooo my God. Holy."
I just sat there. Trusting that the worst thing to happen would be me slamming into a building somehow. This wasn't the first time I'd been caught out of the air. Once I understood what was happening it was easier to roll with it.
The first time had involved me falling off of a floating island over the Atlantic. Nearly three thousand feet of free-fall without a parachute.
We finally slowed and landed on the root top. Our savior deposited the both of us in a clump and kept going for another ten feet, still cursing. I rubbed my ribs, wounding how bad the bruising would be. Nothing permanent of course. Ted might be in worse condition. He was wincing while trying to stand up. One hand under his shoulder turning the dial.
His business suit ensemble flickered to life. That grin turning mostly plastic. I just sat there, breathing slowly. Not caring at all about how things turned out.
"Fuck. Fuck me. Are you two okay?" The figure in tights wandered over. Beanpole figure, flight powers. Arms both giving off a slight glow. Energy based, and judging by the squeaky voice, right in the middle of puberty. Both the glow and his clothes were an off green.
"Oh yes. Nice save young man." Teds showmanship voice was on full blast. Accent, everything.
There was a pause. I looked up, and the guy who'd saved us was staring at Ted, trying to figure out what to think.
"Don't worry about him." Ted waved at me.
"Alright." A frown went with the heroes response.
"You look new, did you have a name?" Ted said while wearing his news caster ensemble. I wasn’t entirely sure why that happened, or how much the man had planned.
"Boy Wonder." Our rescuer said.
"Another one?" Ted muttered while shaking his head.
"Are you alright? I don't need to call the police or something?” Boy Wonder managed to sound far more concerned than Ted did.
"I think I'm alright." I might punch Ted for sending us careening off the bridge like that. Not to mention the damages to the walling. Chances are the city would end up suing me along with any pedestrians left behind.
"Did you lose control? Or something else?" Boy Wonder asked while flipping his arms. The glow around him seemed to be fading in and out.
"Break malfunction." I said. The glare I was giving Ted should set people on fire.
"Yes, sir. You've helped mark yourself as a real hero saving the two of us." Ted's voice was nearly as plastic as his grin. He might actually mean it too if he couldn't lie.
"Wait. You're Mister Mallard right?" The younger man’s face lit up. Here he was, a hero, with a hint of awe in his voice as he talked to me.
"That's me." I huffed and tried to stand. My body was used to taking a beating so I was able to get up onto both feet. We weren't near the edge of this rooftop thankfully, but the breeze was slightly disturbing after our fall.
"You sure you’re okay, Mister Mallard?" Boy Wonder asked. Typical. Nearly every hero knew who I was. Not from my personal desire.
"I'm doing great.” I said.
"Is this something I should worry about? Kidnapping? Escape car? Anything? You can tell me." Boy Wonder, the fifth one I'd heard of, seemed almost excited. He must think I was the key to breaking into the big leagues.
"No.” I shook my head. “I’m just building on a lifetime of poor choices."
"Oh."
"What the hell?" A female voice yelled. Someone else was flying in. Not from energy based powers, no, she was riding a piece of rock like a surfboard.
"Sis! I just rescued Adam Mallard!"
"No shit?" She couldn't be more than fourteen, at that strange point where attitude and puberty were awkwardly demolishing a childhood. Adding superpowers on top of that would be enough to make anyone curse.
"I know right?!" They yelled at each other across the windy rooftop. Their colors clashed against each other. She had a cape and he didn't. His face was completely covered and hers was barely obscured.
"I got that hole patched up but left before the police arrived." The younger female put both her hands into fists and struck a pose.
"Ah, those assholes. Did anyone see you?" Boy Wonder had some hatred for law enforcement. It made sense. Often times super powered people rubbed police the wrong way.
"Someone had a camera up." She said.
Ted had one going too. I'd seen him pull out a cellphone earlier and angle it towards the other two. He certainly wasn't texting anyone. Without a dirt pile, he'd been forced to revert to simpler technology.
"What happened to that car? Do we need to recover it?" Boy Wonder asked his sister.
"Dunno wasn't paying attention to that shit."
Boy Wonder turned to me and I shrugged. The Stingray, however nice, didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Ted had pulled his core out and could just remake another one. Something beeped and the sister pulled out her own cell. Her face grew a look of horror.
"Mom?" These siblings hadn't really registered the superhero method of speaking yet. Speaking about their family relations in front of mundane people like us, well no, nevermind. Ted and I weren’t normal. Of course tracking down a pair of siblings in a town as big as Portland would be hard. They might even be from the outskirts and flown in.
"Yeah. Fuck. Come on, they're good, we gotta go!" She said.
"Hell, alright, nice meeting you Mister Mallard. I gotta jet." Boy Wonder waved and leaped off the rooftop.
I smiled and shrugged. Ted coughed and tried to look inconspicuous. Neither of the two younger heroes seemed to care anyway. They were strangely star struck in my presence.
Joy. My existence was inspiring to fresh off the block heroes with no sense of propriety.
"Have fun." My face tried to twist into a smile but failed. Maybe I could make it down the stairs of this tower without being assaulted by a death ray.
"Dinner's at six..." I heard the sister mutter to Boy Wonder. Siblings, both with powers. Both different types. Mildly interesting I guess.
They'd also saved us from a headlong splash into the water. Not just me, but Ted. I turned to the older man and twisted my features in a thoughtful frown.
"That was a brilliant decision." I told the man dryly.
"What now?" Ted absently punched buttons on his phone. Beeps and buzzes issued forth. Finally slammed it shut with a frown and grumbled.
"People near me don't always survive." I tried again.
"That's fine." He shrugged and punched more buttons.
"Don't care about your life?"
"Living this sort of life comes with hazards. You either accept them or go mad." Ted looked up at me and blinked a few times. Maybe the man had gone crazy a long time ago.
"Well, you’re clearly on the acceptance side of things." I muttered. Ted ignored me and walked to a roof access. The door was locked, but that didn't stop him from pulling out a long bar of iron from his little bag. This wasn't one of his Bio-Regradable items but clearly served a purpose.
A twist later and he'd cracked the lock and let us inside.
"Alright. So one test down." He was hustling down the first flight of stairs.
"That was a test?"
"Everything's a test. Wait until the final. Fifty percent of your grade depends on how you perform." Ted navigated through a set of doors and looked around. A smile crossed his face as he stumbled across a set of elevators.
"What are we testing? Durability?"
"Nope." He pressed the down button but didn't expand on his prior comment.
"Ted?"
The doors dinged and opened.
"Ted?" I asked again.
He walked in and waited, one hand against the doors. The man waved me inward urgently."Let’s go."
"Ted? What we testing?"
"Get in." He hissed at me with another unidentifiable accent.
My arms crossed for a moment and I glared at the idiot. "Are you going to try and kill us again?"
"What? No!" He snapped out to with a confused look. "Why would I kill us? No. We're testing your powers."
"I told you, and they did that." My hands waved wildly towards the rooftop.
"A theoretical limit isn't not an actual limit. Those kids up there, you think they did a bunch of book studying to figure out their powers?"
"Their history homework probably helped." I said. The boy hadn't seemed to have his flight powers down yet.
"Only in the..." Ted cut himself off and glared at me.
"Maybe Pythagoreans Theorem helps him fly."
"Are you kidding me right now?" Another accent fluttered by.
I shrugged. "I'm sure there's a course on mid-air rescuing."
"Actually." Ted trailed off.
"He clearly passed with flying colors." I almost smiled at my own attempted humor.
"Is that a joke or literal statement?"
I'd almost been on a roll. I could have expanded further on the high school curriculum needed for heroes. Expected betrayals and government subplots. Combined in that would be teenage angst and relationship drama. Then it occurred to me that Ted wasn't even on board with the entire train of thought.
"You can't tell?" I asked while finally getting on the stupid elevator.
"No. You're too dead pan with your sarcasm. It's annoying." He said while the doors closed. We rode the remaining twenty floors in a near silence that was only broken by Ted's absent minded whistling and foot tapping.
We hit ground level and stalked right out the lobby door. No one looked twice at us. Me, covered in the remains of a car turned dirt pile, and Ted wearing his molded suit and grin.
Down the street of a semi-crowded sidewalk. A few stragglers were staring at the rooftop muttering to each other. Their talking was tied to the recent super hero appearance but nothing offensive, nothing excited, most like a passing wonder. They talked about two heroes in the same tone as one remarks on pigeons in a park.
Ted stalked onward. Looking across the street back and forth. Searching for something
I frowned slightly and tucked a cheek back. We were in Oregon, and this place was a maze of highways and streets. The river was crowded by taller buildings, but most of the city had never grown past the third story. Not like back east.
The other man stopped in front of each store and scanned the windows for something. I wasn’t sure what since we checked out food location, coffee shops, clothing boutiques, nothing struck his fancy until we passed a corner store.
He tapped a knuckle on the glass and kept up his annoying whistle. Ted turned around and looking for another object. His eyes brightened upon seeing a plot of dirt which had a tree embedded in it. Moments later and he'd turned on his bio-regradable devices into something resembling a handgun.
"Ted?" I wasn't comfortable with guns. Normally someone got shot. Not me, but someone. "What are you doing?"
"Tests! Aha ha ha!" The man gave a mad scientist laugh and people actually started avoiding us on the street.
His arm was flipping the dial again. Images flipped by. Another suit, an Aussie outback suit, a gimp costume, nothing but a pair of polka-dotted boxers, then a man wearing a black ski mask.
"Congratulations, you're now a hostage." Again. This time, it wasn't TeleGraph the lame second rate villain. I was being abducted by Ted. "Hold this." He handed me the cell phone, which even now was recording us. "Aim it up dip-shit. About there." His tone took on that of a sloppy New York resident. Up state. His o's longer than expected.
"This is brilliant."
"I hate sarcasm." He nudged the gun into my back. "Now march on in boy-o."
"Another test?" I wasn’t afraid of being shot but the idea of pain didn’t appeal either.
"Everything in life is a test. Some are just more fatal than others."
Ted had me open the door. He didn't seem interested in talking anymore as we went inside. There were a few people shopping but Ted blasted his dirt made gun into the isles. Chips and soda went everywhere.
The cashier had both hands up before the third shot went off. People huddled in the isles. I just sat there with a depressed look on my face and a gun pressed against my spine.
Another shot deterred the cashier from moving. This one into a row of cigarette cartons. Ted reached across the station to the register and pressed the release. Moments later he'd fished out all the cash.
"Catch." I turned and a fist swung at my face. My body reeled and something metal was shoved into my hand. Moments later I heard the door chime as Ted took off while my own vision was still clearing.
I stared at the gun in my hands and Ted’s vanishing form. His costume flickered to something else as a final leg made it past the wide window. My head tilted back and found the cashier staring at me, pointing, while on the phone babbling to someone.
Had he really just used me to rob a store? Really? I rubbed my face with one hand and grunted. People peeked around isles is confusion. You’d think being on the other end of a robbery wouldn’t be new, but this one was outside my normal experiences.
My lawyer was going to try and kill me.
Character Dossier Name: Tim Magnum Gender: Male Age: 16 Earth Standard Years Generalized Ratings as follows Strength: 4 [Above average] Intelligence: 3.5 [Slightly above average] Agility: 5.2 [Entry Level Athlete] Luck: 3 [Average] Attitude: Potty mouthed, Easily Excitable, Idealistic Other items of note Third generation super. Afraid of his mother. Would have rather been given super strength. Hates smokers and drinkers. Excessively chatty. Newbie hero who thinks he's stronger than he is. Will be grounded when his mother finds out. Powers His grandfather's energy based powers were matched against grandmas probability magic. Since then there's been a random shuffle to their abilities. Tim's powers vary greatly from his sisters as a result.
He ended up with generic energy minupulation. Currently the young man has only figured out how to basic power blasts that have very limited range. He has also proven capable of personal shields and flight at high speeds. Landings are still dicey and passengers should be warry. Fun Fact His mother once threatened to make him disappear if he didn't behave. Two days later Tim refused to clean his room. She proceeded to use magic based on pocket dimensions to remove every offensive object littering the floor leaving him with only a bed. Tim's toy soldiers came back inside out.
It was declared an object lesson on what might happen to them if they misbehaved. Since then both Tim and his sister have been very careful to heed everything their mom says. They wisely decided not to report this to the police as their mother is a board certified A list hero.
Advertisement
- In Serial187 Chapters
Hunter Or Huntress
A human engineer named Tom accepts a deal to travel to a Fantasy world with the mission of changing it forever. He is given a week to prepare before setting off. Once on the other side, he is greeted by a fantastical world and its inhabitants. his original mission to change this world and have some fun while doing it quickly turns into him making a home for himself and defending it and his new family against whatever ends up coming their way. The story will also follow the POV of Sapphire a local woman who Tom encounters early on in his travels to yield a closer insight into our local population. The story focuses mainly on the interactions between the characters with intermittent action, romance, and the technical side of trying to bring a medieval-high-fantasy people up to speed with more or less modern technology. There will be discussions of mental illness, immense loss, and joy, ranging from the truly heartbreaking to the properly heartwarming. The first chapters are on the short side but eventually escalate to the 3000-5000 word range. especially the early chapters suffer from poor grammar and I am sorry. they are slowly going to be brought up to spec. The story is originally posted on Reddit r/HFY https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jfgpie/hunter_or_huntress_chapter_1_the_offer_oc/ If you can't remember a character or just wanna see what's what. there is also the wiki here: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1sqP9B7Mqh2D1tpboFHqpk6f0284wX-HE?usp=sharing Cover art by the amazing Uwnycorn: https://www.deviantart.com/uwnycorne If you want to support this odd little project I do have a patreon. You don't get anything for supporting except gratitude though. https://www.patreon.com/HunterOrHuntress?fan_landing=true
8 116 - In Serial45 Chapters
Mutant Farmer in the Apocalypse
In the year 2022, one year after the Z-20 Virus outbreak, all of humanity had been infected by the virus, and their bodies reacted differently. The majority of the humans turned into zombies, while the minority turned into ability users. Some didn’t change into either. They were powerless in comparison, as even feral zombies were more powerful than an average human. At 20 years old, Yang Zhang was used as a scapegoat and kicked out of his town; a medium-sized shelter base used to protect humanity from the ever-growing threat of zombie attacks. Scared and powerless against the harsh world infested with zombies, he stumbled upon a squirrel that ate the brain of a dead ability user and began discharging electricity constantly. He realized that he could use this newfound information to protect himself. “That’s right! I can build a farm and create more and more of these mutated animals and plants to protect myself!”Thus started the journey of Yang Zhang as he created a farm while continuously breeding many magical —albeit grotesque— mutated animals and plants. Yet, once the zombies and ability users started noticing his unique farm, they began to invade. With no choice left, he armed himself by creating stronger mutated animals and plants to protect the farm at all cost! “Get off of my lawn, you bunch of greedy pigs!”**Tower Defense + (Mutated) farm simulator + Zombie waifu.**--Original Cover art, using Picrew.Cover + Editor by Silly_FoxThis book is also available in Webnovel and Scribblehub--
8 251 - In Serial53 Chapters
The Prime
In a distant Era, Seven powerful beings who called themselves Gods appeared and created a world with many species. This world was named Ethernasia. To kill their boredoms the Seven Gods decided to play a Game. The Game consists of becoming a mortal to explore the mortal world, enjoying it. When it was the turn of Emea, the goddess of Life. She fell in love with a mortal, named Kyle. Kyle our MC was killed by two males Gods amongst the Seven Gods: Lumis the God of Light and Grimm the God of Darkness due to jealousy. Then, ressurected by Emea, She had performed a forbidden spell on Kyle, bringing back from Hades embrace. However, Kyle was not human anymore, he became a Vampire, the first of his specie: The Prime Vampire. He was more powerful than the Seven Gods. Sadly, Emea became his first victim. The Vampire race was born, a war happened and many died, the two Gods were almost killed. Some years later, Ethernasia welcomed a new Era: The Awakening Era, the New Species Era, The Mutants. This is the Story of reincarnated Gods and Goddesses, the Story of the now awaken Kyle coming back to Ethernasia after more than Two thousands years to see his beloved, the Story of his Life, his women and his fights. =============================================== Hello. I'm a new author, this is my first Original book. I hope you will be interested and read it. Also, English is not my first language, sorry in advance for any misspelled words or bad grammar, don't worry the story is interesting and I promise I will quickly improve. So, give this book a chance. Chapters Words are between 700~3000 words. The picture on the cover is not mine, it looks like one of my characters. Kaguya Mio Sakura only that Kaguya has bigger breasts. I can take it down if it bothers.
8 145 - In Serial13 Chapters
Stranger Arcana // Grim Fortuna
Seeing as how no one reads this, I'm gonna get real weird with it. Stranger Arcana // In a dark world, Actors put on arcane Masks to gain magical power. Sarros, an Actor and ex-Imperial soldier, hunts the demonic man who killed his sister. Mochon, ex-Imperial bandit who would be king, tries to bend Sarros to his will but ultimately is pulled into a conspiracy even greater in scope than his own ambitions. Grim Fortuna // Sam Rose is like most girls fresh out of high school with no prospects. She works at the Two-and-Twenty board game store, trying to earn money for college. Everything changes when her best friend Mocha breaks into her apartment in the middle of the night, covered in blood and wearing a strange Mask. A secret, sinister world exists, and though Sam is only learning of it now, she's been a part of it for her whole life. Updates at least once a month.
8 151 - In Serial22 Chapters
Undesired Power
Alex Zuki, a half African-American and a half-Japanese kid moved to Japan where he is bullied for mistaking Anime to be the same as real-world Japan. Five years later, it is even harder to differentiate as he is thrown into a secret world dominated by superpowers and gains the ability to stop time.
8 139 - In Serial14 Chapters
Overdone Book Titles
Every single fucking story in existence on WattPad has practically the same names. It's fucking annoying.Highest ranking #830 in Non-Fiction.
8 80

