“We need,” Blake began speaking in a way that was surprisingly intimidating for a girl wearing what had to be the most pinkest, most poofiest dress in the store, “to talk about Ruby and her place in your little harem.”

Akelarre raised both hands to ward her off. “Okay, first of all, I don’t have a harem.” She ignored the twin scoffs from Weiss and Blake. “Second. Ruby’s a good friend. I would never hurt her.”

Weiss crossed her arms and raised her nose up. “You do know that if you continue as you have this little crush of hers is going to turn into something else?”

“Since when do you know anything about romance?” Blake asked her.

“I’m a Schnee. I was educated in such things by the best teachers there are.” She cleared her throat and refocused on Akelarre. “Ruby is, to my utmost surprise, a wonderful team leader and a superb friend. Hurting her feelings would be a shame, but it would be best if it were done now rather than later when her... fixation on you grows too strong.”

“I...” Akelarre shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” She felt around the store with her bugs to make sure the others were okay. Ruby and Neo were trading dresses and Yang was crying on Penny’s shoulder in a booth. The last was a problem for someone else.

Blake rolled her eyes. “She’s falling in love with you. I don’t know if Grimm princesses can even reciprocate that. And if you can, do you?”

“Do I?” Akelarre asked with rising trepidation.

“Love her back. Or at least have a crush on her.” Blake’s eyes narrowed and Akelarre had the impression that it was the sort of question with no right answer.

“I-I don’t know?” she tried. “I mean, Ruby’s nice really nice, but I... she’s in love? Love love? I really like her, she’s a sweetie, and it’s fun to be with her, and, and uh.”

“You’re both useless,” Weiss grumbled. “Fortunately, Ruby is too young for you to do anything, and if you try I will gut you.”

“I wouldn’t!” Akelarre said.

“Of course not, you have other people in your harem for that,” Blake said. “Neo doesn’t seem the sort to say no to anything.”

“She’d have to wait at least three years for that kind of thing,” Weiss added.

“That would make Ruby nineteen, Weiss. Even you are not that much of a prude,” Blake shot back.

“I’ve seen the smut you read, Blake, better a prude then whatever you are.”

“Um,” Akelarre added to the conversation.

They both turned glares onto her and she regretted making so much as a noise. “Maybe we should tell Ruby that it wouldn’t work out,” Weiss said. “It would be for the best.”

“I don’t know,” Blake said. “Harems do have this sort of emotional support network built into them. Velvet seems nice enough. Neo... well, Velvet is very nice. Ruby is the kind of girl that should have a good network with her as she explores relationships. ”

“I don’t have a harem?” Akelarre tried.

“You do, you really do,” Blake said. “It’s that or Neo has a harem and you’re just the one she uses to find new members.”

“I’m pretty sure Neo doesn’t have a harem. And she’s not in my harem. Because I don’t have a harem.”

Both girls stared. And stared.

Akelarre fidgeted on the spot, then looked away. “I don’t,” she repeated herself. “If I had a harem I would... uh.”

She looked back to see that they were still staring.

“I have a harem.” Akelarre choked as the realization hit her like a bat to the face. “Oh god, I have a harem. What do I do?”

Blake and Weiss looked at each other and somehow Weiss was elected as spokesperson. “What do you expect us to know about harems? We’re just worried for Ruby.”

“You’re a rich heiress and she’s a smut reading princess. If anyone knows anything about harems it’s you two,” Akelarre shot back.

Weiss squawked like a chicken that narrowly avoided being stepped on and Blake hissed as she pulled a book out of somewhere and hugged it to her fluffy pink dress.

“I know no such thing! My estate management teachers pulled me aside at one point to explain the finer points of managing multiple partners, but it was not for the purposes of having a harem.” She huffed and turned away as if to hide the splashes of red on her porcelain skin. “I am not a degenerate like some of the people here.”

“What, they didn’t think you could handle your mistresses and boytoys on your own? Blake deadpanned.

“And what,” Weiss said as she snapped around. “Is that supposed to mean?” she asked. “I’m perfectly capable of handling any number of boytoys!”

Blake raised one eyebrow, a ridiculously smug smile tugging at the corners of her lips while Weiss reflected on what she said and began sputtering denials.

“I think we’re straying from the original point, and I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not,” Akelarre said.

They both turned back towards her, and she remembered her earlier thoughts about remaining quiet.

***

Ruby hummed as she spun in her dress once, then looked at herself in one of the floor-to-ceiling mirrors. It wasn’t leather and it was a lot more confining than her combat dress, but she still thought that the dress she picked out (with a bit of help from Neo) was very flattering.

It pinched up her bust, showed off her shoulders and her well defined arms while also doing things with her backside that had her blushing and Neo giving her thumbs up.

“I like it!” she declared. And to think it only took her half an hour to find something so cute! She would have to go shopping with Neo more often. Or maybe she could return the favour, Neo had yet to find a dress for herself. The poor girl was stuck shopping in the children’s section of the store, not that Ruby was going to say anything out loud. “I’m going to go find Akelarre and show her,” she said.

Neo shrugged and made a ‘go ahead’ sort of gesture.

She grinned at her new friend and walked past, bare feet swishing over the carpeted floor. Ruby was getting to know Neo well enough that she could pick up most of the expressions the shorter girl used.

As soon as she got back to Beacon she would look up sign language courses. Not only would it be super cool to know, it would be neat to be able to speak with Neo with no one else understanding, like a secret friendship language. Akelarre probably knew some already because she was a princess and was super clever.

She found Akelarre talking with Weiss and Blake, the three of them very close to each other. In fact, Weiss had a hand on Akelarre’s chest. Well, a finger. And it wasn’t on her chest so much as poking it was it to reinforce whatever Weiss was talking about.

Ruby didn’t need to be jealous. Weiss and Blake would never get between her and her friendship with Akelarre, they were good friends like that.

Still, she slowed down a little, something that she wasn’t used to doing, in order to better listen in on what they were talking about.

One did not grow up around Yang Xiao-Long without gaining a certain appreciation for good gossip.

“The most important thing,” Blake said in a low voice that didn’t really carry all that much and had Ruby straining to hear, “is the cooperation and mutual support in the relationship. All relationships, good ones at least, are about trust and mutual love and helping each other. A harem isn’t any different, it just has more people, which can also mean more things to balance. You might not have the same goals in life as Ruby does, they might even conflict, and you’ll have to figure that out. Velvet probably has her own goals. I don’t even want to guess what Neo wants.”

“That’s all well and good,” Weiss said. She poked Akelarre a few times, her other hand rising to cover her face. “But you could also consider the relative positions that your... harem mates hold, and how that reflects upon you.”

“I hardly think that that’s important,” Blake said.

“Oh? And who will be the breadwinner in their relationship? Will they all mooch off of Akelarre’s family's riches? Or will Ruby and the others strike out on their own? Ruby is from a simple family, but they’re almost all huntsmen. How will that reflect on Akelarre’s own family? For that matter, Neo is a criminal, no less. Will she drag the others down with her?”

Akelarre’s head was wobbling a bit as Ruby’s teammates broke out into a fit of bickering between each other in tones too low for her to properly hear.

“What are you guys talking about?” she asked as she moved around a rack of dresses and came closer. It also allowed her to see the dress that Blake was wearing. “And, who picked that out for you Blake?” she added. “It’s very... uh. I hope you like it?”

“Nothing!” all three of them said at the same time.

Ruby blinked. She had never seen both Weiss and Blake blushing at the same time, or Akelarre go quite that red in the face before.

“Is it my dress?” she asked while looking down.

“No!” Akelarre said. “That dress is very, uh,” she paused as the other two turned to look at her. “It’s very nice.”

Ruby beamed. “Thanks! Neo helped pick it out. She’s really nice when she wants to be.”

“Yeah, yeah she can be that way,” Akelarre said, one arm rising to rub the back of her neck. “Uh, so is that the dress you’ll be going to the ball with? It makes you look ol-- more mature.”

Now Weiss was glaring.

Ruby had the impression that she was missing a lot of sub-text, like when dad asked Yang weird questions about her playdates with some of the boys and a lot of the girls from Signal. They always made it sound like they were doing more than just playing and Yang was always very blush-y and angry, kind of like Blake and Weiss were right then.

“I still need to pick out my own,” Akelarre said. “And I think Blake needs help too.”

“And me?” Weiss asked rather archly.

“I had bugs crawling through your wardrobe at Beacon, you don’t need help picking out dresses.”

Ruby’s partner wore a confused expression for a bit, somewhere between indignation and pride. “Can I help?” Ruby asked before Weiss picked one of them and started ranting. Akelarre hesitated, her cheeks still very red, so Ruby tried to help. “Don’t worry about undressing in front of me, I’ve already seen the rest of my team naked.” Akelarre was way prettier than Yang, so she didn’t need to be embarrassed or anything.

Blake’s hand met her face. “And she doesn’t mean anything by it,” she muttered. “I give up, you two are perfect for each other. You’ll just cluelessly bumble into a happy marriage because life isn’t fair that way.”

She flounced away, her pink dress bobbing with every step before she reached back and pulled Weiss along with her. “Hey!” Weiss said.

“Just give up, Weiss. I need a dress and wasting time with those two isn’t worth it.”

Akelarre turned to Ruby, a sickly smile pasted on her face. “So, dresses?”