I popped into the estate and nearly tripped over a pile of ore. Apparently Nathan and Mara hadn’t any problems with the new mine; it looked like they’d come away with about sixty tin, with the rest being copper.

I said.

Ezzie said.

I said. I slipped between the miners’ shelters; Nathan and Mara were fast asleep despite the early hour, and the grass that surrounded their structures was littered with empty mugs of beer.

I said, as I made my way toward the Dummy.

“Oy, thought you dicks had forgotten about me,” the Dummy said.

“I wish,” I said.

“Same,” the Dummy said. “It was peaceful.”

I frowned at the Dummy.

Ezzie said.

The Dummy’s eyes widened, and it looked right at me. “I deserve this.”

“Ugh,” I said.

Ezzie said,

I repeated.

Ezzie said.

Ezzie said.

I sighed and drew my sword. Then I slapped the Dummy’s arm with it.

I caught a punch across my jaw that sent me stepping sideways, but that was about it. I mean it still hurt like hell, but the pain was manageable, secondary to the physical force of the impact.

I said, as I wiped some blood from the corner of my lips.

“Oh, you’re a bad bitch now, huh?” the Dummy said. “I see you, Silas. I see you.”

Ezzie said.

Ezzie took control of my left arm, reached beneath my breastplate by my armpit, grabbed my left nipple, and twisted hard.

I said.

Ezzie said.

“I like where this is going,” the Dummy said.

Ezzie continued.

I reached up underneath my breastplate and grabbed my right nipple, twisting twice as hard as she had.

Ezzie said, gasping.

I said.

She twisted again. So I did the same.

Ezzie said.

Then I realized I was laughing. Just full on giggling at the absurdity of the situation like a stupid little kid. Then Ezzie started laughing too, and I lost it entirely.

“Uh,” Mara said. She was standing about ten feet away, leaning up against the side of the forge. “You guys uh…okay?”

I froze, looked down. Was still gripping both of my nipples. I flailed and panicked, but try as I might, I couldn’t let them go. It was like my fingers were glued to them.

Ezzie snorted through the link, relenting. Our nipples!>

I jammed my hands into my pockets. “Yeah, we were just uh. Training. Pain tolerance stuff.”

“That’s called S&M,” the Dummy said.

“Woah,” Mara said. “That thing talks?”

“I can do a lot more than talk, girlie,” the Dummy said.

Mara shivered. “Its mouth is super creepy.”

“Yeah well, you don’t see me talking about your ears, do you?” the Dummy said. “So who’s the real monster here?”

Mara reached back and touched one of her ears. “What’s wrong with…never mind.” She turned to me. “Just wanted to thank you for the mine. Much nicer getting rid of the commute. Hell of a lot cleaner in there, too. Forgot what it was like to be able to breathe as I worked.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“This conversation is boring,” the Dummy said.

Mara ignored it. “Was that ore enough for the quota? Don’t know the rates when it comes to tin, never used to run into very much of that stuff.”

“Oh, I didn’t even check,” I said. “I’m not worried about it. Thanks for that, by the way.”

Mara shrugged. “Nathan’s happy too, but he’s not gonna say it, so.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Mara said. “We got hammered four hours earlier than usual. Sun was still up. Been a long time since I passed out in the sun.”

I grinned. “I’m glad. You got the cookpot working?”

“We didn’t wanna mess with it,” Mara said. “Worried we’d mess something up.”

“Boring boring boring boring boring!” the Dummy said.

“So you haven’t eaten?” I said.

Mara shook her head, shrugged. “Not eating kind of goes with the territory. We’ll go to the inn later if need be.”

Ezzie said,

“Just queue up some of the low-level fish stew from the cookpot whenever you need it,” I said. “We’ve got plenty of fish and potatoes. I’ll have more stuff on the menu when the rest of the crops come in and we can fill out the fields. Actually, I’m gonna be powerleveling my Cooking later, so if you hold off a little while I might have something better for you by then. Your call."

“Hey!” the Dummy said. “I’m bored, notice me! Hey, you guys! Look over here!” It wheeled its arms in huge circles.

“You sure?” Mara said.

“Yeah knock yourselves out,” I said. I looked to the Dummy. “What are you even doing right now?”

The Dummy jerked to a stop, going completely still. “Shut up, Silas. Go pinch your nipples.”

Mara looked like she was about to laugh, but covered her mouth with a hand. She fought the impulse off but was grinning by the time she spoke again. “Probably just eat now, thanks. I’ll grab some for Nathan too, whenever he wakes up.” She waved and headed off.

Ezzie said.

I nodded.

Ezzie said.

“Coward,” the Dummy said.

“You’ll get your turn,” I said. “I still need points.”

Ezzie said.

I activated the skill, and the space around my feet brightened in a tight circle. The effect was subtle, but noticeable: the dirt beneath my feet was a richer brown, the textures so clear it was like they were being enhanced somehow.

Ezzie said.

I let the skill drop.

Ezzie said.

“Sorry Dummy,” I said, as activated the skill. A silvery glow surrounded my weapon, and I hit the Dummy’s shoulder as hard as I could. Little patches of silver cropped up across the Dummy’s body, like puddles of mercury.

“Twenty-nine,” the Dummy said. “Meh.”

I used the skill two more times, drawing two more mehs from the Dummy and tripling the number of shiny puddles that clung to it.

Ezzie said.

“Aww yeah,” the Dummy said. “It’s on.”

I activated Mirror Block, then threw a weak strike at the Dummy. My shield blurred up and blocked the Dummy’s left hook, even nullifying the force behind it. And best of all? It also floated a yellow fifty up above the Dummy’s head.

“What the hell was that!” the Dummy said. “Not cool man! Not cool at all!”

Ezzie said.

I swung again, and the Dummy punched me right in the nose. I reeled back, the force of the blow being harder to deal with than the pain itself. This time, a yellow fourteen drifted up over the Dummy.

“Mmm yeah,” the Dummy said. “Nice.”

“You enjoy this way too much,” I said. Then I noticed that I had a DoT eating away at my health bar. Mirrorburn.

Ezzie said.

Ezzie said.

Ezzie continued.

“Are you guys talking to each other mentally as if I don’t exist again?” the Dummy said. “Hello?”

I said.

Ezzie said.

I felt Ezzie reach back and stretch through the link.

I said,

Ezzie said.

I headed over to the cookpot and queued up a bunch of baked fish, a simple recipe that I’d recently unlocked. It didn’t have offer stat benefits, but my tomato and onion still hadn’t come in, so the fish curry was out for now.

My cooking skill jumped to twenty, so I swapped to yet another fish-based recipe—a pan-seared fillet which didn’t offer stats, either—and pushed my skill all the way to thirty. Which unlocked the exact sort of recipe I’d been waiting for.

{Lesser Fish Feast}

Use: Sets a {Lesser Fish Feast} onto the ground.

Benefit: Up to 25 combined players or NPCs may partake of this feast, and those who spend fifteen seconds eating will have all hunger-related debuffs cleared and replaced with the {Well-fed} buff for 24 hours. In addition, the player/NPC’s highest primary stat will be increased by 2% for 2 hours.

The materials were simple, too: just a ton of fish. Plus a bunch spices that looked vendor-bought.

Which I obviously didn’t have.

I said. But that that gave me an idea.

Ezzie said.

“Screw you guys, I’m going back to sleep,” the Dummy said.

I grabbed one of the fillets from the cookpot and dropped the rest of it into the Constructor; I figured I’d just vendor the bulk of it tomorrow before it could spoil. Then I made my way back to my lean-to and plopped onto my bed, using my shield as a plate. The fillet was fantastic.

Ezzie said.

I forced down a shiver—I’d managed to forget about him for a while. But now that I knew he was waiting for her, I couldn’t help but picture how the invasion would go if Ezzie wasn’t around to help.

And if I failed this time…oh man. It didn’t even matter that I still had a life remaining; if I didn’t complete the invasion tomorrow, there wouldn’t be enough time for me to attempt it a third time. I took a deep, steadying breath. I said.

I said, as I stuck an oversized helping of fish into my mouth.

Ezzie said.

I had to work not to spit out a mouthful of food. It helped that I really, really didn’t want to.

I cut off as I realized a Constructor was already printing a wooden piece of furniture beneath the lean-to. Ezzie said.

I said.

Ezzie said.

I groaned. She’d seriously just frittered away more than a thousand coins for something that didn’t even do anything? Still, the damage was done, and I didn’t want to pick a fight.

I said.

Ezzie hesitated.

I said.