《Clockwork》Volume 3 Chapter 1 Shock Therapy
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Nathaniel PoV
(A.N. I will use Nathan to show Nathaniel's PoV since its quicker to write it)
After we watched a marvel hero movie on the TV, i wanted to go out. It wasn’t good to stay in to much. The main reason was more for Sasha to get out and about.
I have her change into more social cloths. A simple knee long Jean short, a light pink shirt and white slippers.
I put regular teen’s cloths, jeans, a loose green shirt and sneakers.
The virtual air outside of our virtual space was rather nice. Seriously, i really hope i discover a way to make clockworks eat and feel. I don’t want to keep staying so long without eating or feeling things.
I take Sasha to a lunch truck near the center of town. The town was already active with many of the inmates out and about. Many were already forming groups with others who they knew for a while.
At the lunch truck, i get a small sandwich and for Sasha got a plate of French fries and we share both.
It was nice and peaceful. After that we head to a few stores. One was a bookstore i had seen before. Though i could get books from the VR space options but it cost more than buying individual books.
Inside the small 5x10 meter sized book store that looked more like a library filled with small bookcases, i looked around for more books on mechanics as well as electronics.
Nova was interesting in lots of fantasy store, as was I, so i got some of that as well as some new study books for her. It was only $240 so it was quite cheap for 3 text books, 3 mechanic and machinery book, and 2 fantasy stories.
As soon as the transaction was complete the books were transferred to our virtual space so we didn’t need to lug it around.
As we think of where to go next a message pops up in front of me.
Sir, Nathaniel Rover,
You have been marked as a patient that requires some level of therapy for mental trauma. Though you may deny the need, your parents have signed the approval papers and you must at the very least do the first day so that the doctor may do a basic evaluation of your mental state.
Please return to your Virtual space at this time. Your parents are there waiting and will remain with your sister while you are with the doctor.
Once in the Virtual Space it will be transferred to the office so you can do your treatment.
I frown a bit but i already knew that this entire situation was probably my fault to begin with so i didn’t care about that.
I tell Sasha we are going home and can do more stuff later because i have something important to do so we return home.
After 10 minutes, we arrive back home and at the door was our parents. Sasha instantly runs over and hugs them while i just walked in and smiled at them.
My dad hugged Sasha first before letting her go to mom which she stayed hugging. Dad came over and threw his right arm over my shoulder.
Dad: ‘So how is my big man. How is the game.’
Nathan: ‘It’s good.’
That simple response takes him by surprise before tears well up and he hugs me tight and i do the same.
It was the first time i spoke to him. The last time they were here i spoke through text which even then made them emotional since i replied to them. To hear my voice again it was probably something huge for them.
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After dad let me go mom came over and hugged me in tears as well.
After a moment they let me go and it’s when i noticed the somewhat familiar figure of the warden from my detention center.
Warren: ‘Afternoon, I was sent to guide you to the doctor.’
I simply nod understanding why he was here.
With my confirmation he pulled up a screen and after pressing a few buttons a new door appeared next to the one that led out of the virtual space.
It was a hardwood door with a deep scarlet color from the paint and looked like something you would see in a middle class or higher house (in brazil) or in an office building.
The warden walked forwards and opened the door before gesturing for me to enter while he held the door open.
I simply shrug and walked through leaving my family in the virtual space to enjoy themselves.
Walking through the door i entered an office room you would normally see in movies or soap operas that have psychiatrist office.
A big chair that the patient can lay down on, a chair for the doctor a lavished room with a nice large carpet over quality laminate floor that had a darker wood color. The walls were colored dark brown and with large windows that showed Virtual town outside. From the height i could see, the room was at least on the third or fourth floor since could still hear the hustle and bustle of the town below.
Sitting on the chair was the psychiatrist. He was an elder man that looked to be in his late fifties or early sixties. With black hair that had grey appearing all over and a clean shaved beard, he gave the presence of a blunt and strictly professional man.
Warren: ‘Afternoon Dr. Berg’
Dr. Berg: ‘Greetings Warren, is this the boy i was told about?’
Warren: ‘Yes, this is the traumatized half mute. He speaks with his sister but almost no one else. The rest only get text and writing from him.’
Berg: ‘I see, well first off let me introduce myself, I’m Doctor John A. Berg. I’ll be your doctor from now on.’
I wave my hand to bring up the notepad but nothing appears.
John: ‘In this room, systems like the notepad won’t work. I am a doctor who deals with post trauma patients and i normally take something the patients are comfortable with or what they use as a crutch as a form to initially start the treatment.’
I frown deeply. I only speak with my sister and just now my parents. Besides that, only when i want to show deep gratitude. This old man is already pissing me off.
John: ‘Don’t look at me like that boy! I know full well you are capable of speaking. All the people who i was charged to take care of i was given expressed permission by both your parents as well as the detention center you are in.’
My eyes fall on the warden who keeps his poker face intact and just looks back at me.
I look around but don’t find any paper besides the bookshelves and several packets with documents.
I scowl at the old man before i open my mouth.
Nathan: ‘Nathaniel Rover.’
All i said was my name to introduce myself. I wasn’t going to make it easy for the old man. Still his frown lightens and sticking his hand out i look at him for a moment before shaking it.
John: ‘Good, now then, Warren these are private.’
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At his words the warden nodded and left the room. The doctor then gestured to sit in the large seat for patients before sitting down in the chair next to it before making a gesture were a blank window and a virtual keyboard appeared.
I lay down and he begins.
First was basic info, age ,date of birth and all that. Not being able to type i spoke the info but made sure to do so in the least amount of words as possible.
My tone clearly showed my anger at having to speak but he didn’t really care.
Then he asked for what i was in here for.
Nathan: ‘Nothing.’
The instant i said that he froze he walked something and a window holding my info appeared.
John: ‘Again what are you in her for?’
His tone was more forced. I scowl at the doctor who is just another one that was bought by the bitch to believe that bogus trail.
Nathan: ‘Falsified charges of Sexual harassment and Rape.’
It word came spitting out of my mouth as rage welled up in me which he clearly took note of. After typing up several stuff he got up and took one of the packets on his table and looked through them. After a bit he came back and sat down again.
John: ‘If you met the person that put you in here, what would you do?’
It took a moment for me to understand the question and then a long silence fell over the room. In my head i see the face of that bitch rage suddenly builds from inside and i clutch my fist while my breathing gets more intense.
Nathan: ‘I don’t know but it would be equivalent to what she put me through and the accident she caused to my family and for making my sister a cripple.’
I was gripping so hard that in real life i would have already drawn blood from my hands. The veins in my head were all popping out and i could barely control myself.
Several windows popped up in front of the doctor and he looked started but all i could think of was what i would do to that bitch.
Strangle, cripple, beat endlessly, mentally exhaust her, torture. I didn’t know what i would do but i knew that it would most likely make me a psychopath if i did everything that passed through my mind.
After some time i felt a strange calmness and my mind becomes clear and i felt somewhat sleepy.
The doctor looked a bit scared and sweat was on his forehead while several windows were floating around him.
Two of them were the notes and keyboard, one was my info but the others i didn’t know. They looked like monitors you see on medical gear. Ah he must be seeing the info for my machines that monitor my health outside.
John: ‘You need to calm down more. The mere thought makes you nearly explode and that could be very bad for the future where the justice system could react to you as a dangerous threat if let loose.’
He said that with genuine worry in his voice. I couldn’t tell if that was worry for me or for himself.
Nathan: ‘What...did you do?’
John: ‘I used system induced emotional restriction. In other words, i had your capsule stop receiving the messages from your brain that signifies rage and anger. It will activate in a moment but this is a method we came up to calm people in the virtual reality.’
After a moment of silence i felt my mind return to normal and the thoughts return as well as my anger but they were quickly put away since my mind had calmed down. That is actually really scary, having your emotions restrained. It’s like you lose your identity when it’s done.
I kind of shivered when i remembered that sensation.
Nathan: ‘Why did you do that?’
John: ‘Your heart rate as raising to a considerably dangerous height so i gave the order. It could have caused a heart attack, fainting and a few other problems i very much don’t want to deal with.’
I nod weakly as i lay back.
John: ‘Ok, now then. Besides you losing trust, why don’t you speak with others like those in your group within the game or even your own parents.’
I open my mouth to answer but then after a moment nothing came out. I thought and thought but i couldn’t find any reason besides i don’t completely trust them. After a lot of thinking and digging i couldn’t find out why. It was actually more that i was afraid to find anything.
Nathan: ‘Don’t know.’
He types it up quickly before turning back.
John: ‘Why do you only speak when thanking someone deeply?’
Nathan: ‘Gratitude.’
John: ‘For what?’
Nathan: ‘Protecting Sasha...helping her...Saving her.’
He typed it all down.
John: ‘Ok, i kind of understand your kind of personality now. It’s been hurt to the point that your family is the only ones you truly trust. I am going to bring someone in here for you to see. She is another patient who needs to see you for her own treatment.’
I look at him for a moment feeling a somewhat foreboding feeling but i nodded.
He goes to the door and opens it. The door was the same i came through but the outside was of an office building that had lighter tones of brown then the room i was in. The doctor called someone in and came back to sit. A moment later someone entered the room.
It took a moment for me to realize who it was before sweat began to appear on my head. My hands clutched and all the rage in all my being boiled hotter than hells flames.
The person i hated the most with all my being stood there with a fearful look as she saw.
In moments i jumped off the seat and ran at her with my arm already to fly but just before i could get in range a voice range.
John: ‘Stop.’
As if commanding a robot by body stopped moments from striking the bitch. She was ghostly pale as the punch was already flying and was mere inches from her face.
John: ‘Return to your seat.’
Nathan: ‘DON’T FUCK WITH ME!! YOU BROUGHT THIS SELFISH BITCH HERE TO PISS ME OFF YOU SHITTY OLD FUCKING BASTARD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BODY! LET ME GO SO I CAN BEAT THIS BITCH AND SHOVE MY FOOT UP HER ASS SO HARD SHE WILL NEVER WALK EVEN IN VIRTUAL REALITY!!’
My rage took the better of me and i couldn’t stop. My body obeying the old man’s orders returns to the seat but i squirmed and roared in protest all the while he was looking at the wall of windows and was moving many things around touching another.
I spat, cursed, insulted and said every possible thing i could think of to both of them. Neither said anything but i could tell Bianca was getting extremely pale hearing so much of it. It also seems like she wants to run and cry while blocking her ears but her body was probably also under control so she was probably here to hear all this. I took all my built up rage and roared for nearly an hour before the doctor was forced to subdue my rage again.
Bianca was made to leave and she did while tears fell down her face.
It was something that brought me a moment of joy, seeing her suffer like that. But the next moment i felt all my despair. All that had been suppressed with my rage. I had killed all my emotions and with all that bottled up anger being released and spent all the other emotions also spilled out.
I also started to cry and did so for a good amount of time before i calmed down.
When i calmed down a bit i felt like a huge weight was lifted. The weight of my anger was still there but so much of it was relieved that i felt light.
Nathan: ‘You used shock therapy on the first day.’
John: ‘Of course, i only have five days in virtual town to work with. I can’t be picky with a case like yours. Anyways my objective wasn’t to completely cure you. Only you can do that yourself. What i did was help you release your bottled up emotions.’
Nathan: ‘...’
I couldn’t reply to that. I hated him for doing that but i also couldn’t completely hate him because this light feeling also left me really empty.
Nathan: ‘So what do i do?’
John: ‘For one, spend time quality time with your family. Talk with them, actually speak with them. When you return to the game you will find that to those in your crew you won’t be able to use text communication any more. We are restricting that for your official crew but you can do so with anyone else. I want you to start talking with them. Even if you don’t completely trust them at least speaking with them is your first step to recovering some more. It will also be good for your sister to see you getting better.’
I nod listening to all he told me. I actually had little strength to do much else at this point.
John: ‘Second, i want you to accept the offer to become a village chief. I know it seems pushed but just make a robot to manage the city is fine, i think a small camp for now on that whale is ok. This will give you more people to interact with as well as create a place so that you sister can play with kids her own age. Make a child body for her to use while there and another for when you need to fight. I would try and speak as much as possible but if you find it to impossible with strangers then use texting until you get comfortable. For now this is all i can suggest for you. The door is linked again to your virtual space. Your family is waiting for you, go have some fun.’
I simply nod and get up without saying anything. I just open the door and find mom and dad playing with Sasha.
They notice me and smile my way. My mom sees how...lifeless i was and comes over.
Mom: ‘What's wrong sweetie?’
I looked her in the eye and see her worry in her eyes and how much older she has gotten. Before all this began she was fairly young looking. The stress of me being sent to prison and the accident must have taken its toll on her.
Nathan: ‘I don’t know?’
I answered truthfully because i really didn’t know what was wrong with me. I never did.
She smiles and pulls me into a hug, one filled with the caring love of a mother. It was the first time that i felt such a warm feeling. I have been filled with so much rage that this warm feeling had always been kept out. As it starts to fill the empty void that formed in me i hugged her and began to earnestly cry again but this time out of joy that i still have my family with me even though so much happened. I really love my family and i will protect them as much as possible and for now, the best way to do it is by getting better for their sake and my own.
Bianca PoV
I was in another office now. With me was the doctor that was assigned to help me pass my depression that i gained after seeing Nathaniel.
She was sitting next to me and petting my head while i cried in her lap. This feeling of a caring mother was something i always lacked. My father is a brute who doesn’t care for me and my mother, i don’t know. I never met her. Dad never talked about her so i don’t know if she is dead or alive.
Nathaniel was having therapy just like me but our treatments were completely different. His doctor contacted mine in the middle of the treatment because he wanted to do shock therapy to Nathaniel to get him to spend all his pent up emotions. It seems my doctor found it useful for me as well. She said that i knew needed to know the consequences of my actions. She was a special doctor that my father had gotten to treat me. She was informed directly by him what really happened. She cursed him but accepted for my sake.
Still she used the system to make me walk in there and hear him in his rage without letting me move and cover my ears.
When i came back my depression had evolved into outright despair and i couldn’t even think about anything anymore. The guilt that weighed on me was so great that it felt like the world itself was being placed on top of me.
Doctor: ‘Did you see what you did to him. Did you hear exactly what you did to him. It was you who ruined the future of the boy. Being depressed because you are guilty won’t change anything you know that.’
I can only sob hearing her harsh words.
Doctor: ‘As you are right now it will be incredibly difficult for you to progress because you are guilt struck. You can’t let it go. The reason i made you go there was to make you feel this way and learn what he is bottling up but now it’s your own job to learn and let it go. What is in the past happened but now you need to look to the future. What do you plan on doing when you return to your companions in Etheria? Will you cry more, will you make them carry your guilt as well?’
Bianca: ‘Let it go...something like this i can’t let go. But i also can’t make others carry my guilt for me, it’s unfair to them.’
Doctor: ‘Being guilty is one thing but tell me, what will you do about your future? You have seven years in real life and thirty five in game that you will remain in Etheria and here. What do “you” plan for the future?’
I couldn’t reply, my mind has always been on the now and i never thought about the future.
Bianca: ‘I don’t know.’
Doctor: ‘You have a while to think about it so i think you should start with small goals. If you feel guilty about hurting one person so much the try and help many others. Use that guilt to drive you to be better and do better. I’m sure you can think of quite a few things that would help many people. Yours a smart girl but you passed your rebellious phase so now just mature more and press on. You can’t change the past but the future is free for you and only you can choose your own future. Think of that some while you travel and make friends and foes.’
I sit up with bloodshot eyes and see the motherly smile of the middle aged woman that felt more like a mother than anyone else ever was she pulled me into a hug before guiding me back to my room and told me to go to sleep for now.
I didn’t resist and simply fell in bed and was instantly asleep because of my exhausted mind. I fell asleep to fast to notice the woman looking at me with a distant look before turning around and turning the lights to my virtual space out before leaving.
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