Mr. Whiskers POV

“Before we press on, there are some things I want to discuss.” I called the raid over. “I know we’ve been slogging through this dungeon for five hours today, and did a full day yesterday. I really want to finish it today if we can, as I doubt there will be another safe zone. This could mean another five to seven hours depending on how things look. Is everyone able and up for finishing this?”

I was glad the rest of the raid actually sat and thought about it for a bit instead of immediately voting for it. After a few minutes, everyone was agreed that we would finish the run today, and we headed into the portal waiting to take us to the next level.

Will this dungeon ever stop with the surprises? Above us was the clearest view of a starlit sky I had ever had the pleasure of viewing. The only thing marring the view was a shifting ribbon of green and blue as a borealis danced along. In one direction a red and yellow streaked gas giant of a planet was rising, the plane of its rings allowing us to see the myriad of colors it contained. Turning, one could see a storm of comets as they slowly moved across the sky, but the most breathtaking view was the nebula behind them. It covered nearly a third of that portion of the sky, and had no real set shape. Several tiny lights had to be small stars lighting up halos of colored gasses.

“About time.” A gravelly voice interrupted our awed reaction to the view. “Though it is pleasing that you adventurers appreciate my realm.” I froze as I took in the absolutely massive black dragon stretched out before us. Jet black with ten horns on its head, it had lazily cracked an eye as it looked us over while still laying down in a restful pose. The ground beneath it was, disorientingly odd. Bare rock turned to a flush golden grass before giving way to an ice sheet being crossed by silver ants the size of a small puppy.

“I’ll not be swayed by your words, vile one!” We all turned to see HolyDungeonDiver striding forward, raising his mace. “[Holy smite]!” Bringing down his mace, a bolt of light shot forward and shattered harmlessly against the side of the dragon who merely yawned.

Relax, raid leader.

A voice entered my head before I could step forward to stop Diver. Looking at the dragon, it gave me the slightest of nods. Eyes widening in fear, I really hoped I was wrong about what was about to go down.

Indeed. I am Tiamat, goddess of chaos. Don’t worry, I’ll not be holding you or your group accountable for the actions of this fool. I just wish to see how far he’s willing to go.

“As expected, you are strong in your realm. But the light will always prevail. [Hammer of light]!” Again a hammer of light formed above Diver before smashing itself on the back of the dragon.

“Blunt force is so boring, and can’t really get that itch of mine.” The dragon taunted. “Got anything that can pierce?” It, no she, asked with a yawn.

“Pelor! In your name I call forth the power to smite this evil one! [Divine spears of light]!” Several spears of light appeared above the dragon, before crashing down at an absolutely insane speed. The force kicked up a massive dust cloud, obscuring our vision of what had happened. “As I said.” Diver panted out, “the light of Pelor will always prevail.” He froze in horror when clapping came from within the dust cloud.

“Oh bravo, you brave, ignorant mortal. Bravo.” A humanoid draconian came sauntering forth from the dust, her thin tail swishing behind her like a satisfied cat. Her scales enhanced her aura of danger, having gained some streaks of red. The ten horns were smaller, and formed a crown upon her head. “We gods and goddesses are limited in the actions we can take, unless specific conditions are met. Like an unprovoked attack, repeated thrice without retribution.” Glaring at Diver, she grinned quite evilly. “I had been thinking of remaining neutral in the struggle between Lolth and Pelor, but now I have quite the excuse to join in. And I think I know just how I’m going to announce my entrance. Prepare yourself, little mortal, to feel what a true [Divine smite] should feel like!” As she spoke, a purplish black orb grew in her hand before shooting forward and striking Diver in the chest.

“Guh.” He managed to sputter out, but to our surprise didn’t get blown backward by the spell. Instead, the light slowly spread until it had completely encased him, then sank into his character.

“I’ll let you all see the results, as it will be impactful to your quest.”

Divine Smite!

Foolish mortal, you have angered a god to the point they decided to make an example of you. Enjoy the results of the Chaotic Smite. For the next month, you will embody chaos. Every three days, your class, stats, and skills will be randomized. The totals will never be lowered, and any skill gains will not be transferred after the month has ended.

Class force change: Beast tamer

Attributes switched: INT and STR, AGI and CON, DEX and WIS

“For those wondering what it will take to remove those effects, nothing less than a divine intervention through a pontiff. Tell me, mortal, has Pelor managed to set himself up with another pontiff yet?” She asked with a chuckle.

“What? You can’t do this!” Diver cried, shoving a hand forward. “Divine smite! Divine smite!” Nothing worked as he tried to activate his priest skills.

“As expected of one of his idiotic followers.” Tiamat smirked. “You allowed me to by attacking me three times fool.”

“And because you couldn’t hold yourself back, you’ve just earned yourself a free boot from the raid.” I interrupted before he could argue more with the goddess. “Not only have we lost a healer, but we gained dead weight. A beast tamer with no experience and no tamed beasts? Nope.”

HolyDungeonDiver has been kicked from the raid.

“What the? You can’t kick me out! You need me!”

“No, what we needed was a healer. Instead we have a weight dragging us down. Good luck Diver, but we will not be healing you nor resurrecting you. I suggest you exit the dungeon as fast as possible.”

“Seriously? Is nobody going to stand up? He’ll do it to you too!” Diver pled, turning to the rest of the raid.

“I doubt that.” Dave spoke up. “He’s had the power all along, and been rather lenient with mistakes. You have to admit, that attacking a goddess in her own realm is the height of stupidity.”

“She’s a creature of darkness!”

“Shut it.” Lucy ordered. “Just be glad you aren’t a member of my guild, because I would be booting you from that as well.”

“Fine. Don’t blame me when you all get kicked for a minor mistake.” Diver finished his tantrum and left via portal.

“One of those whose mistakes are never their fault. I do so love the multitude of personalities you mortals produce.” Tiamat chuckled. “And now for the rest of the raid. This floor is simple. Make it to the portal on the other side. However, none should cross the planes of chaos without a blessing from the goddess in charge, correct?”

“That’s quite alright.” I spoke up. “We wouldn’t want to impose upon your goodwill.”

“Oh, but I insist.” She interrupted. “Besides, you accepted the blessings of those two light gods. There needs to be a bit of a balance I believe. [Blessing of Chaos].”

Blessing of Chaos

Tiamat believes that all that cross her plane should enjoy her personal blessing. That, and she wishes to balance the blessings of Gaia and Moradin.

Effects:

Damage mayhem: Skills and spells will now do a range of damage from -200% to 200%

Chaotic spells: There is a chance that spells will be altered. Should a spell be altered, the only cooldown will be for the spell that was attempted. Possible changes: element change, damage reversal, tier increase or decrease. The only spell immune to these effects is resurrect.

“Oh, don’t look like that.” She pouted. “It’s only for the next four floors of the dungeon. The blessing will disappear with the start of the next boss fight. Have fun!” With a wave, she disappeared in a pillar of black light.

“Well, this is gonna be fun.” Dave grumped. “How in the world are we going to finish this dungeon down a healer and not being able to trust our skills?”

“Very carefully.” I answered. “At least we can still trust our resurrection spell. Let’s rely on that and potions for healing where we can. Anyone have an idea on what direction to head?”

“I see a pillar of light off that’a’way.” GotYerBack said, pointing to our left. “Seems pretty stationary.”

“Any objections? No? Great. Scouts keep fairly close, and let’s head out.”

We started in the direction of the light, and right away the dungeon started playing tricks on us. While we were walking along hot sands, a cool breeze was keeping us cool above waist height. The sky had shifted to a massive red sun, but it seemed to only be sending out light and no heat.

“Something’s coming.” King called out, and we all looked to the right a bit to see several dots moving closer. They would increase in size a bit, then the growth would slow, before increasing rapidly again.

“What the hell are they?” Someone asked as they got close enough to see. “Is that a floating jellyfish?” When we could finally make out some details, it really looked like a flying jellyfish. There was a large sack of gas that would occasionally squeeze down, shooting the creature forward. It also had three tentacles dragging along the sands.

Floatsam

Level 230

Floatsam generally glide along with the breeze, consuming whatever comes in contact with their tentacles. Occasionally they will actively hunt something, using a primitive form of jet propulsion to move.

“King, are they chasing anything on the ground?” I asked.

“Not that I can see.”

“Alright. Target the middle one when it gets within range, and hit it. Let’s see what these things have in store. Raid members, avoid the tentacles.”

“[Snipe shot].” King was the first to be struck by the mayhem of our blessing. Instead of a pure physical attack, he shot an electrical bolt at the creature.

KABOOOM!

The resulting explosion caused everyone to duck down, as the remaining floatsam turned and flew away as fast as they could. “Lightning works.” King called over his shoulder, giving everyone a sheepish smile.

“I’ll say!” Ice Queen chuckled. “Let’s hurry through here. I don’t like it when spells don’t work right.”

“Good call. Everyone keep your guard up, who knows what’s lurking in the sands.” We set off again, only to find the land changed to cobblestones over the next dune. We could see roaming packs of dogs, moving between stands of blackened shrubbery. As we watched, one of the dogs lifted a leg to mark a bush only to find itself impaled by thorns that burst into flames. Before it could even yelp in pain, the dog was gone.

“Note to self, don’t water the wildflowers.” Dave quipped before heading off into the new land. Most people chuckled as we followed the tank. When we were finally near enough, the dogs were revealed to be level 200 scalemail hounds, and unsurprisingly their coats were like armor. Unexpectedly, they were air enhancers and would send slashes of wind flying at the raid. Battling them was more an annoyance, as they really only had a speed advantage. Once a mage had slowed one down, the hounds barely lasted thirty seconds under the barrage of physical damage.

“Drops are crap.” Lucy commented, holding one of the scaled pelts. “Probably only good enough to make rare items.”

“Probably.” I agreed. “Then again, they’re just regular mobs.” As an afterthought I added, “Anyone ever check out those plants?”

“Useless. As soon as you damage them, they burn up. Do enough damage to kill them, and you already destroyed any drops.”

“Alright.” I said, and we kept going. Eventually we came to a sign, and a fork in the path.

Choose your own adventure!

Take the lower path through the canyon floor – left fork

Take the high ground and trust in the rope bridges – right fork

Bypass all of this – bend space with the power of your mind

“Before someone tries it, please don’t try and bend space with the power of your mind.” I immediately ordered.

“Aw, why not?” Grandelf asked.

“Because these are the planes of chaos. Who knows what we could summon if we tried it?”

“Fine, if you wanna be all logical about it.” He grumbled with a smile.

“That said, up or down?” The raid was fairly evenly divided, and we spent at least five minutes.

“Look, I just am never gonna trust a rope bridge. Especially one in the chaotic plane!”

“And locking ourselves into the bottom of a ravine is better? We’ll be sitting ducks!”

“ENOUGH!” I roared. When everyone was silent, I continued, “We’ll take the ravine route. I don’t trust the bridges either. Brock, I know you and Ice Queen could probably build a bridge, but there’s too great of a chance that the gap will be too long. King, five-minute scout.” He nodded and led the other scouts into the ravine, and we sat down to wait.

“It’s a simple area, but there’s a lot of branching paths. No enemies we could see.” King said as they returned.

“Traps?” Dave asked.

“None that we found. Everything is rock down there, so there shouldn’t be issues with footing. We marked our path so we can quickly travel.”

“Alright everyone, Two tanks in front and two in the rear. Call out if you see any enemies.” I said, and we all started forward. I decided to stay towards the front this time. Entering the canyon was, an odd sensation. The walls seemed to grow much faster than the slope of our trail indicated, probably something screwy with the instability of this plane. The way wasn’t too bad, the path was at least six people wide and the walls were nearly vertical. Occasionally we would pass under the shadow of a bridge, but from the patches of light passing through they were missing occasional planks.

“This isn’t right.” King said, freezing at the third intersection.

“What isn’t?” Dave asked.

“This intersection. It should have one branch to the right and continue straight. This branch to the left is new.”

“You sure?” Dave asked, and King pointed to his mark. It was a vertical line, with a slant splitting off to the right only. “Nevermind.” Dave said with a shrug.

“Great. The paths change. Let’s keep going with what you have traveled so far, and when we get to a strange intersection play it by ear.” I said. “I take it you went straight last time? Then we go straight this time.”

“What was that?” Shocker snarled, turning and looking around. The raid froze, but we couldn’t hear anything.

“Shocker?” Lucy asked.

“Thought I heard a pebble get kicked.”

“There aren’t, oh.” She replied. “Think someone’s watching us?”

“Probably.”

“Keep an eye out. Death, you and Shocker keep eyes to the sky. If there are bridges up there, we can be attacked from that direction.” They nodded, and we kept moving. “King, let’s see if we can pick up the pace a bit.” We increased from a stroll to a fast walk, but didn’t want to move any faster because of the chance of enemies. No need to exhaust ourselves before battle. I saw King’s frustration growing, as the next three interchanges all had new splits, and the fourth one didn’t even have a mark.

“You did get this far, right?” Dave asked.

“Yeah. Should be at least three more marked intersections. Damnit, let’s just head to the right. That should put us closer to the original direction we were in.” He grumped, leading the way.

Ahhhwwwooooooooooo

As soon as we had cleared the intersection, we heard the wolf howl. It was answered by several others, some in front and some behind us. “Looks like it’ll be a pincer attack.” I called out. “Jess, you are healing towards the front. Dr. HealYaButt, you got the rear. Bandaid, you have both sides. Let’s set up some defenses here and wait. Brock, give us a double wall across the canyon to limit their attacking avenues. Druids, I want you to make a hedge maze for them to get trapped in, string them out. Keep it a good bit away from the walls, Cinder’s gonna light it up when they enter it.”

The raid broke down into groups, preparing for the assault. “It won’t let me cut all the way across.” Brock complained. “I can’t even block us off a small fortress. It must have an open area.”

“Do your best then.” I said, trying to figure out how we could add to our advantages. We had a partial fort with two openings that had to be defended, but they were only two people wide. Brock even had time to set up a raised platform behind his walls, letting the mages have a height advantage. Rough crenellations protected them in the chance there were archers among our hunters. We had just finished preparations when the first enemies came into view.

“Warg riders!” King called out. “Level 200, goblins are all archers or javelins.”

“We got some coming from the back here as well. Same thing.” Death called. I saw several members smiling as they prepared for a normal encounter for a change. “Looks like there are 10, 20, almost 30 of them back here.”

“I got the same up front, leader seems to be a shaman of sorts judging by his staff.” King called out.

“Don’t even think about it.” Lucy grabbed my arm before I could go invisible. “Wargs would smell you coming a mile away. Let them light the fires first, then blink behind their lines.”

“Damnit, you’re right. I’ll wait a bit.” I said with a grin. I turned to look at the approaching enemies, and frowned a bit. While the enemies attacking from the rear were slowly picking their way through the maze, the shaman had moved to the front and was chanting something. Instead of having both force their way through a bottleneck, he sent out a black cloud that shriveled and killed the plants in a wide swath. Smiling, he pointed forward with his staff and the wargs darted forward with a howl of excitement.

“[Blizzard].” Ice Queen started off the battle for our side, sending frigid winds and small daggers of ice flying into the lead elements of the pack. The wargs thick fur shook off the magic, but the thin skinned goblins were far more affected. Several developed blue patches of frostbite, and their aim was drastically reduced as we could see the weapons shaking in their cold hands.

“[Immolate].” Cinder targeted the center of the front warg pack, but instead of a column of flame, summoned a spear of ice, sending four wargs and their goblins flying. “Damnit, I want these bastards to burn! Weep, as the flames consume you with no end in sight. [Sea of flames]!” Instead of a swirl of flames that cooked the enemies, a toxic green cloud appeared, drifting towards our lines with a few gestures from the shaman.

“Watch the friendly fire with the poison gas!” One of the tanks yelled, as a healer went to work cleansing them of the poison.

“[Snipe shot].” All three rangers targeted the shaman, blasting him and disrupting his winds enough that the cloud dispersed. King turned to the other side, looking things over. “[Rain of arrows].” He calmly fired a shot nearly vertically, and I expected a volley of arrows to plunge down into the enemy from above. Instead, we got a cleansing shower, that removed the burn effects they goblins had picked up in the hedge maze.

“Who’s the asshole that’s cleansing the enemy? Cancel your skill already!”

“Can’t, its one hit by that chaos buff. Can’t be cancelled.” King shouted back. I did see him switch from area attacks to specific enemies, which seemed to be a smart move.

“Let’s do this Grandelf.” SpiceMix said, facing the enemies at the rear. “Crush them beneath your unceasing flow. [Deluge].”

“[Chain lightning barrage].” Their combined spells worked wonders. Spice summoned a blast of water that Grandelf piggybacked off of, electrocuting and partially paralyzing a swath of the enemy. Blackthumb stepped forward as soon as the electricity ended.

“Thanks for the water, this should help out a bit.” With a flick of his wrist, he tossed several seeds in to the throng. “Grow, and release your sickly sweet fragrance. [Emerald poppy field].” The seeds bloomed, and I knew from experience there would be a lot of goblin deaths from those flowers. Druids had modified the poppy, so that instead of a sleeping aroma they exuded one that had a potent poison in it as well. Anything falling asleep in that field would never wake up. Just as I was about to stealth and head out against the shaman, I heard something that made my blood freeze.

“For Uncle Jon!” Came a high pitched voice from above, and I looked up to see a small goblin toss a bag of something from a hidden ledge outside of most attack ranges. Several other bags joined it, and the tiny goblin might have stuck a tongue out before disappearing back over the edge.

“Danger from above!” I called out, but it was too late. The bags hit, and exploded. Not with fire and pain, but some sort of foul smelling liquid. The brownish gunk stuck to whatever it splattered on, and several of the mages bent over gagging from the smell. The wargs? They went crazy. Their attacks increased in speed and ferocity, sometimes getting them to snarl and attack each other or an unfortunate goblin rider in their rage.

“They’re all going berserk! Hit ‘em with everything you got!” I yelled out, but the shaman blew a horn on his belt and those that hadn’t already entered their berserk rage started falling back. I blinked into the back line of those still attacking, hamstringing wargs and slitting goblin throats where I could to add to the chaos. Some of my spells switched bleeding and poison damage, but that didn’t bother me much. I was never more glad to be fighting berserked enemies than when my hamstring skill reflected back onto myself. That one incident prevented me from trying to use assassinate, as I didn’t want to kill myself. Three minutes that felt like thirty later, and the last of the wargs was down. Panting, I looked to our raid and asked, “Casualties?”

“Damn warg took Ice Queen down when it jumped up and grabbed her wrist.” Lucy spoke, coming around. “Other than that, we lost three to the melee when they went berserk.”

“Crap. Burn a scroll to rezz one and we’ll get heading out. Someone want to start looting the bodies?”

“I’m on it.” Dave said, heading to those who had attacked from the back.

“I’ll get this side.” Fisticuffs said, heading towards the remaining bodies.

“Is everyone ok to finish pushing through this area? I don’t want to stick around where they can ambush us again.” I called out. I got all affirmative replies, and prepared to go. “Hey Blackthumb, what was in those bags that fell?”

“Monster bait.” He said, standing up from where he was examining something. “There’s a description in the notifications.” Looking at my list, I found the one he was talking about and started cursing.

Danger!

You’ve been marked with Monster Bait. This foul concoction of putrefied meat and monster mating pheromones will cause any nearby monsters to lose themselves to a blind rage and make them attack.

Duration: 6 hours

Effects: Beast type monsters go berserk (+50% attack speed, +50% attack, -50% defense)

“Fuck. Any way to get this off?” I asked.

“Nope. We’re stuck with this for the next 6 hours.”

“Fine.” I said with a sigh. “Alright everyone, let’s keep moving then. Everyone be aware that beast type monsters are going to go berserk whenever they smell us.”

Warning given, we made our way along the canyon once more. Once again silence had descended, and it was getting eerie. It seemed that the branches were herding us back together, so no matter what route we had taken we would almost always reach the end if we could maintain a general direction. Ten minutes of travel and we were walking noticeably upwards, and soon had sky above us. Twenty feet away was the tower of light we had been heading towards, and a portal heading to the next level of the dungeon.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jon’s POV, Oblivion Café

“We did it Uncle Jon, we did it!” A small voice cried out as its owner shot across the café.

“I saw Rosalie. You did such a fantastic job, I’m so proud of you!” I answered, catching the curly haired child as she rocketed into my chest. “Did you have fun?”

“I did! It was just like playing dodgeball, only I was on the winning team! I even stuck my tongue out at the bad guys, cuz they are meanies!”

“Did you? I’m so happy I have such strong protectors.” I said with a chuckle.

“Mmhmm!” She smiled. “We splattered them with the stinky stuff! Then the doggies went crazy! It was fun! Are you going to come play with us again?”

“Of course I will, but not today. I’m going to watch the bad guys try and make it through the rest of the dungeon.”

“Okay.” She said, slightly disappointed. “Doctor says I can’t play anymore in the game today anyway.”

“Hey Rosalie!” We turned to see a small boy waving at us stepping away from a group of his friends. “Wanna play goblins and adventurers with us? We need someone to kidnap the prince and hold him handsome.”

“You mean hold him ransom Tim.” I said with a chuckle as I set a squirming Rosalie down.

“Yay! I get to be a goblin, right?”

“Sure!”

“Ok, see you tomorrow Uncle Jon!” She waved and took off, growling as if she were really a goblin. I chuckled and watched them run off, feeling some arms slip around my waist from behind.

“Kinda nice seeing girls run off to kidnap their prince instead of waiting to be rescued from a tower.” Phoebe whispered in my ear. I nodded my head and was happy to just enjoy the moment.