Greetings, test subjects!

Welcome to the water portion of the dungeon! Don’t worry, you are taking part in testing a brand new Drow enchantment. No potions of waterbreathing required! The enchantment should let you breath and communicate down here as if you are above water. You should be able to drink potions with no influx of seawater too, so don’t worry. If you would be so kind as to report any issues with the enchanter’s guild after your dungeon dive, it would be appreciated!

Floor six: The Sargasso Sea

This area of the sea is surrounded by powerful currents, trapping the exceptionally large plant life. Natives have formed large roads using the seaweed found only in this area. What treasures will you find hiding within this massive kelp forest?

Ignoring the popup for a moment, I took a look at the beautiful vista. Strands of yellow, green and brown kelp floated in gentle currents of incredibly clear water. There was another magic wall preventing us from moving forward, but I recognized it now as a safe zone barrier. I looked up, and could barely make out a point of light that must be the sun. No way we were heading up. The platform we were on was an incredibly complex weave of plant leaves and stalks, strong enough to support all of us with ease. To my surprise, it was analyzable.

Kelp highway

Formed by the intertwining of countless kelp strands, this highway is incredibly durable. Thirty feet wide and fifty feet long, each section has massive durability. It’s light weight and flexibility means there will be some movement in strong currents, and it is highly vulnerable to poisons.

Durability: 1,000,000/1,000,000

“Craaaaaap!” I groaned, finally reading the initial popup. Test subjects? I hate this dungeon. With a passion. “Everyone gather round, we have some testing to do. Go ahead and sound off with your names.” I waited, mentally going through the raid. When everyone stopped, the list felt short. “Are we missing people already?”

“What do you mean?” Shocker asked. “That was everyone, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t think so. Let’s go through it again. Rangers first.”

“King.”

“Shocker.”

“DeathFromAbove.”

“Alright, healers next.”

“Jess.”

“Bandaid.”

I waited for a few seconds, then looked around. “Diver, HealYaButts, where are you two?” I called out, only to have Citadel bring them forward. “What’s going on with you two?”

“Blurble?”

“Glurbleblurble?”

“Huh? Quit talking gibberish!” I growled out, getting annoyed.

“They aren’t.” Citadel said. “They asked what you wanted with them.”

“Greaaattt. Sounds like we found our first side effect. They can’t hear me, and I can’t hear them. Everyone gather round. Citadel is going to say something, and if you hear it come out as gibberish I want you to raise your hand.” Pointing at Citadel, I had him go.

“I hate being underwater.” GotYerBack and Blackthumb raised their hands.

“Can you two say something?”

“I’m confused.” Back said.

“Can I get some of these plant trimmings?”

I looked at Citadel, and he shrugged. “I heard bubbles and gurgles.”

“Last one everyone, Lucy. Say something.”

“The curse of a thousand armpit hairs to whoever designed this dungeon.” That got a chuckle out of everyone except King and Raider Dave.

“What did she say?” Dave asked.

“Lucy, do you hear Dave as bubbles?”

“Yeah.”

“Crap. Ok, Citadel you get to repeat what I say for Diver and Heal. It looks like the first effect is miscommunication. Every member of the raid has two people who can’t hear them. Those two people also can’t be heard by the first person. So we will have to have a new chain. Citadel will repeat any orders from me for Heal and Diver. Jess, you will repeat any orders from Lucy for Dave and King. I want everyone to go around and figure out who their communications problems are with, and nominate someone as a workaround.”

The raid took twenty minutes to get organized, but we settled on a formation. King would be center front, flanked by Dave and Smiter. Goldguard would be in the back with GotYerBack as rearguard, with Shocker and DeathFromAbove helping out to prevent ambushes. Healers in the center, with a cluster of mages, druids, guardians and berserkers spread around ready to respond to any threat.

“Before we get going, I want to see just how limited we are under here. Cinder, you’re up first. Let’s take this wall down and step out of the safe zone, and see how well your flames work.”

“UNDER DA SEA! DA SEA! -NDER DA SEA!” A chorus of irritating sounds assaulted us as soon as the wall fell, everyone immediately looking around for the source. A small red crab was crossing the road, occasionally stopping and raising its claws in the air.

Sebastian Singing Crab

Level 1

A magical experiment that failed horribly. The original plan was to create a singing crab that would welcome new guests to a new life of wonder under the sea. Unfortunately, the meager brains of crabs weren’t taken into account, and they can only repeat the first three words at varying volumes. The goddess of misfortune must have had a hand in things, as a batch scheduled for extermination was mis-labeled and accidentally released into the wild, where their prolific breeding rates made extermination impossible. They now found the base of the food chain, even if the denizens of the deep have yet to discover the joys of eating them soaked in a butter sauce.

“What in the everloving hells? SHUT THE HELL UP YOU ANNOYING CRAB! [FIREBALL]!” Cinderfy shouted, pointing a finger at the crab and attempting a skill. Instead of a fireball, a bubble of steam shot forward about a foot before buoyancy overcame its inertia and it started rising to the surface. “[Azure firebolt]!” The boosted element fared little better, though it did double the range and cook the offending crab.

“Well, that is most unfortunate. You have any other spells?”

“Fuck, I’m gonna be useless here. I went with damage, so my secondary element is lightning.”

“Hey look! I think I see the next level! I’ll meet y’all down there, TALLYHOOOOOOO!” The raid turned to see PlayWithMe running toward the edge of the platform and taking a massive leap. We all watched as a dark shape shot out from within the kelp, and smashed into him, knocking him upward with an oversized fin. Several other shapes appeared, and also joined in knocking the berserker around.

Largefin Porpoise

Level 250

Playfully sadistic creatures, these marine mammals use their oversized fin to knock unsuspecting creatures around in a form of game combined with a mating ritual. Anything with lower agility in the water is fair game to be used in the game, and it won’t stop until the ‘ball’ is dead. Creatures that have a high enough constitution to let the game play out for over five minutes will trigger mating instincts, with the two winners being the ones who controlled the ball the longest as well as the one that dealt the deathblow. These two males will be beset by females that watch the game from within the kelp beds.

“I’ll at least get the bastards. [Lightning bolt]!” Cinder pointed a finger, and I was incredibly glad I blinked backwards to the edge of the platform. Instead of shooting out in a straight line, Cinder was surrounded by a crackling web of branched lighting.

“Goddamnit!” I shouted, losing my temper. “We are in the ocean surrounded by salt water. CONDUCTIVE salt water! Nobody uses any spells until we have tested them in a controlled manner! Anyone else want to do stupid shit like Play just did, don’t be surprised when we leave you to die. Now we are in the ocean, where we are most definitely not the top of the food chain anymore. Play just proved it, and I hope everyone was paying attention. First thing, we will go through all the mages and test every type of elemental spell. Everyone with a bladed weapon, lose anything that adds bleed damage. Skills, special effects, I don’t care what it is, if it causes bleeding damage you aren’t to use it.”

“Why no bleed? That’s how I get a good portion of my damage!” Someone shouted.

“Because blood attracts predators! A shark can track blood at a concentration of one part per ten billion! The more bleed damage you cause, the higher that number gets. Do you want to fight off a feeding frenzy of dungeon sharks at the same time you are fighting whatever you were initially? Because I sure as hell don’t.”

“Oh. Ok then.” Came the much subdued response. “What element do you want to try next?”

“Let’s start with earth and light, then move on to ice and some of the druid spells.” I took several calming breaths as Brock and Brosef came forward.

“What do you want first?” Brock asked.

“Try earth wall, then something with stone.”

“Alright. [Earth wall][Stone grasp][Stone lance].” The first spell drifted off in a cloud, slowly separating under the effects of the currents. The stone spells worked just fine though. “Huh, ‘bout what I figured. Good call testing it out of battle though.” He said, nodding and heading off.

“What y’all want?” Brosef asked.

“Try a tight beam spell, then that binding spell you used.”

“Awlright.” He drawled. “[Prismatic bolt][Cage of light].” The first bolt split into a rainbow of bolts, spreading out in a wave. The second spell held together longer, though it did develop an odd sheen of vibrating colors along the edges. I slashed at it with a dagger, cutting about a quarter of the way through one of the bars before my dagger was repelled.

“That normal?” I asked.

“Naw. Shouldn’ta been able to cut it at all. Prolly gonna turn most of my attacks into area spreads. Can still bind.”

“Alright. You know your skills best, think about how you can be effective.” I nodded.

“Expecting a boost to my skills?” Ice Queen asked.

“Possibly. Let’s start with a simple spear, then that ice lotus of yours. Follow it up with the same using the boosted element, but watch your mana expenses closely if you would.”

“Sure.” She said, giving me an odd look. “[Ice spear][Ice lotus].” The ice lotus grew without any issues, but instead of firing forward like it should have the ice spear grew forward like an extending pole. “That’s, odd. [Clear ice spear][Clear lotus].” Again the results were the same, though the ice was clear. “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That the spells would cost more mana? I spent nearly 20% more mana for the same results.”

“It’s the ocean. Salt lowers the freezing point, so you need to use more mana to freeze it.” I answered with a shrug. Going through the druid spells, things were starting to look up. The spells took less mana, and actually covered a larger area than normal but ended up dying in half the time. Before starting to explore the level, I called Cinderfy over for one last experiment.

“Hey Cinder, can you give people a temporary electrical enchantment to electricity?”

“Yeah. It probably isn’t as strong as one of the sages, but I can do it.”

“Go ahead and buff me then, let’s see what happens.”

“Alright. Here goes, [Elemental blessing: electricity].” I saw a new icon pop up, and swung my daggers a few times.

“Oh, this is going to be great!” I said with a grin. The electricity didn’t discharge, even on a missed attack. “Your job is to keep everyone boosted with electrical attacks.”

“Oh thank God, I’m not going to be bored out of my mind!” He relaxed, exhaling in relief.

“Alright everyone, let’s get going. Keep an eye out for dangers, and don’t be afraid to call out issues. We are short on long range magic, and physical arrows tend to fly strangely so this is going to be an up close and personal floor.”

We started off down the kelp highway, and I was immediately concerned as things were far too easy. HealYaButts had gone up a level and resurrected PlayWithMe once his body returned, and his sheepish apology to the raid kept me from absolutely tearing into him. He did apologize, but his mistake did lead me to some issues that I hadn’t considered. All of our movements were slightly slowed down. Jumping depended on how much armor you were wearing, and the tanks sank a lot quicker than the mages did. Every so often I would go through some of my skills, but only about a third of the raid was doing it.

The walk was distractingly beautiful. Schools of small fish would shimmer around us, and several people got a kick out of pointing and watching a hole appear through the middle of the school. There were several small varieties of seadragons as well. They looked like the seadragons in reality, hiding with leafy body parts, but unlike the real life version these were decidedly omnivores and had small fangs and claws.

“OH MY GOD, I HATE THESE EFFING CRABS!” Shocker shouted. Stomping around, he crushed several of the bastards, and I couldn’t help but agree with him. They dulled the senses, and raised tempers.

“Hey, is that a treasure chest?” HolyDungeonDiver yelled out, pointing at a particularly thick stand of kelp. “Death, come check this out with me.” He said, heading over. I just shook my head, this wasn’t likely to be a good result. I was going to let them learn the hard lesson about letting a tank go first in case of enemies. They shoved aside some of the branches to reveal a hidden alcove with a coral treasure chest sitting in the middle.

“You see any traps?”

“[Detect trap].” Waiting a few seconds, Death made a full, slow circle of the chest. I was impressed with his thoroughness, as he was looking both above and below, as well as along the hinges. “No traps detected. If you would be so kind?”

“With pleasure!” Diver responded, giddy. I thought for a half second I heard a click as he stepped in front of the chest, but must have been hearing things. “Ugh, thing’s gotta be rusted shut or something.” Grunting as he tugged at the latch holding it shut, it finally let go. When it did, the lid flew open and a cloud of pink exploded outward, painting the clothes of both members.

“What? Why am I pink? What the hell is this shit?” They immediately complained, trying to rub it off but only managing to smear it around. “It won’t come off!” They were frantically flailing about.

“Hey, calm it down! Do you guys have any odd status effects?” I shouted.

“Huh? I’M PINK! OF COURSE IT’S AN ODD STATUS EFFECT!” Diver shouted.

“No poisons or anything like that.” Death announced.

“Then don’t worry about it. Call it a prank effect for everyone watching. Now on to important stuff, what was in the chest?”

“Um, looks like we have a unique saber and chest guard. Here’s the stats.”

Coral Saber (unique)

Made of living coral, this saber possesses a keen edge and a unique metallic core that allows for easily channeling lightning energy.

Damage: 125-175 slashing

Durability: 16,000/16,000

Adds 75-100 electrical damage per attack

Bonus: Electrical buffs are twice as effective

Regeneration: By consuming the blood of enemies or the wielder, this weapon can regenerate durability.

Coral chest guard (rare)

Molded out of a softer coral, this light armor is a mainstay for water dwelling creatures. Adds a slight resistance to water attacks.

Defense: 250

Durability: 15,000/15,000

Adds 10% water resist

Regeneration: By consuming the blood of the wearer, this armor can regenerate durability. (Can’t be used in combat)

“Not a bad weapon, though the armor kinda sucks.” Death lamented, returning to the raid. Going back on the kelp road, we headed deeper into the dungeon. Sporadic treasure chests with comparable armor and weapons were spotted on occasion, the vast preference for weapons being tridents. King used telekinesis to open each chest from a distance, as nobody trusted detect trap anymore. None triggered a blast of pink, though one in three had a pink cloud slowly disperse after opening.

We also started getting into the occasional battle, as a marine predator would randomly attack. These were easily repelled, as a fish attacking a raid would get whittled down in no time.

“God, these blasted fish are disappointing.” Smiter griped after killing the tenth or eleventh barracuda. “At least send a variant or something. Even a level 200 fish is just a fish after all.”

Several groans accompanied his moaning, a couple people even threatening him for cursing the floor.

“Oh lighten up! Jinxing the dive is a bunch of superstitious nonsense!”

“Enemies ahead!” King yelled out, cutting through the arguments. Slowly moving closer were two humanoids with shark heads. Aside from the scales, they also had a tail running down between their legs, and moved forward by hopping up and propelling themselves with a flick or two of the tail.

Siyokoy Hunter

Level 230

Part fish, part human, all horror, the Siyokoy is not something to trifle with. Do not be fooled by the animalistic features, as they have a society that could rival those of races who dwell on land. With the enhanced senses offered by their beast parts, they have risen to some of the top rungs of the marine food chain.

They wore coral armor like what the raid had found, and each was armed with a trident. Slung at one hip was a mesh bag, which they reached into and flung whatever they pulled out at King as soon as they were within range.

*CLANG**CLANG*

Dave and Smiter had stepped in front of King, and the clams that the creatures had thrown broke open when they struck the shields carried by the tanks. This caused the two to sneer, as they reached into their bags and started throwing something different at the two. They took no damage, but the clangs had a different sound and the hunters were more than happy to try and keep their distance.

“Let’s close the distance. [Shield rush].” Dave activated his skill, only to grunt in annoyance. He launched forward about a foot, only to have the water disperse his momentum. “Crap, we need a way to get closer!” He called out.

“[Elemental barrage: dark bolt].” King launched ten dark bolts at one of the creatures, taking out a large chunk of its life. That enraged it to the point where it shot forward, slamming through a clumsy attempt by Smiter to block it and biting down hard on King’s shoulder. I don’t know how King stopped from screaming, but he managed it as the barbarians surrounded him and started carving into the monster. Its physical defenses were better than its magical ones, but it still could only weather fifteen seconds of concentrated attacks.

“I’ll bring the second one closer. [Riptide].” SpiceMix spoke calmly as she stepped to where she had a clear line on the second monster. All of a sudden there was an incredibly powerful current that sent the creature tumbling forward, to land disoriented at Dave’s feet.

“Thanks Spice!” He said before plunging sword into the creature’s chest. As he went to attack it again, it deflected his stab with its trident before scrambling to the side and dropping down. Dave and several others ran over, but returned shaking their heads.

“Blasted thing got away.” He muttered

*SCCCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEuuuunnnnncccchhhhh*

“Gah, what the hell is that noise?” SpiceMix shouted, as the entirety of the raid bent over in pain from the sound. It started out like nails across metal, and ended with the sound of crumpling plate metal.

“I think it came from Smiter.” Someone behind me said.

“What the eff is this on my shield?” Smiter yelled.

Metallophage Barnacle

Level 80

This unique species has evolved to consume and incorporate metals into its defense. One of the only types of barnacles that are not completely immobile after securing a location, they will actively seek out and consume nearby sources of metal. Their varied diets ensure that no two share the same markings on their shells.

“Kill it! The bastards are eating my shield!” Smiter yelled after reading the notification, impotently slamming his sword against the shell of the three creatures that had attached themselves.

“Let me. [Frozen touch].” Ice Queen stepped forward, and froze the three solid while Peppermint moved to help Dave out with his own barnacles. The creatures fell off to reveal a quarter sized divot in the front of each shield.

“Damn, it didn’t lower the durability that much, but they could easily crunch through a shield given enough time.” Dave lamented.

“We’ll have to keep an eye out, as those bastard monsters are likely raising them as living weapons.” Smiter said. “What the hell were the other things they were throwing?” Bending down, he picked up a shattered shell.

Razorshell clam

Level 55

The razorshell clam has a shell with a spiral pattern and incredibly sharp edges. Normally used to deter predators, these have been raised by the Siyokoy’s to be easier to throw. Variants exist having been crossed with different types of jellyfish, lining the edges with stinging cells that can inject a multitude of venoms. Chain gloves are highly recommended for handling.

“Nasty.” King said, nodding at the description. “Slice open and bleed target, let predators come and finish it off.”

“Yeah. At least they can’t get through metal, so only the mages and rogues are really vulnerable.” I agreed. “Well, we know what the big bad guys down here are, let’s keep an eye out. I think it’s safe to assume that one that ran away is going to be bringing back friends.”

“Is it just me, or is it getting darker?” Lucy asked ten minutes later. “I feel like I can’t see quite as far.”

I looked up, and couldn’t see the sun anymore. Looking around, the water had gone from crystal clear at the beginning of the level to ending in a deep blue color after about three hundred feet. “I think you’re right. I noticed the slightly clockwise curve to the road, but we must have been dropping slowly as well.”

“Holy crap, would you guys look at that current!” Blackthumb yelled from the left side of the road. “Watch this!” Taking a leaf he had plucked from the kelp, he slipped it over the edge. Once it had extended nearly a foot and a half past the edge of the road, it was ripped out of his hands and sucked out of sight within seconds.

“Daaaaaaamn.” Diver said, tossing a leaf of his own just to watch it be sucked away.

“Stay away from the edge children!” Lucy chided in a motherly voice. “If you get sucked off the edge, you’ll die for sure.”

“Yes mom!” Blackthumb chuckled, heading back.

“Enemies ahead.” King called out, not even a minute later. The welcoming committee this time was six of the siyokoys. Four had sharks heads and were considered hunters, while two had marlin heads. These were retiarii, and had nets in one hand and tridents in the other. The hunters spread out, and opened with a volley of clams.

“[Riptide].”

“[Magic bolt barrage].”

“[Dark bolt].”

“Enemies at the reaAAAAAAAAH!” I turned to see GoldGuard being shoved by a siyokoy that had one of those old Japanese blunt pole weapons that priests always had in anime. The end was a crescent moon that fit snugly around the his neck, and he was rapidly closing in on the inner edge of the road. GotYerBack was tied down with a net from a retiarius, while another of the priest ones was heading toward HolyDungeonDiver.

“WATCH OUT!” Cinderfy yelled, shoving Diver out of the way and getting caught by the pole in his stead. The siyokoy wrenched him to the outside, and forced Cinder into the raging current. Just before he was dragged away, he grabbed the pole itself and managed to take his attacker with him.

“[Blink][Crippling blow].” I tried my best to save GoldGuard. What I didn’t expect was the siyokoy to use its tail to launch forward, sending both itself and GoldGuard over the inner edge of the road.

“Ah!” I cried in pain, turning to see two hunters and another retiarius closing in on me. “Still got some back here to take care of!” I called out, just as several thorn bushes erupted and tangled the creatures. A few of the berserkers came to help, and we showed them no mercy. Lady Fisticuffs was particularly adept at interrupting an attack or tangling an enemy weapon just enough that someone else could land a devastating blow.

“Thanks for the save.” I said, panting after taking out the last of the hunters.

“No problem.” Lady answered. “Did we lose anyone?”

“Goldguard over the middle edge and Cinderfy to the currents.” I said. Walking up to Lucy, I asked her, “How about this side? Lose anyone?”

“No. They were just a distraction. Only the net wielders engaged, while the others stayed back and took pot shots at us.”

“Alright, listen up everyone. It seems these bastards have a new annoying plan. Distractions from one direction while a few kamikaze try and take people over the edge or into the current. We’ve been going for what, nearly 45 minutes or so? I need a small group to head back and pick up the bodies of GoldGuard and Cinderfy. The rest of us will wait here, and hope that these creatures will stay away from areas we have cleared. If the group isn’t back in an hour and a half, we will head back. Volunteers?”

Rather quickly the group was set. King, Citadel, Dave, SpiceMix and NotABandaid took off at a run, and I had faith they would easily make it back before we took the second hit to defense. The rest of the raid settled down to wait, keeping sentries posted watching all directions. The siyokoy wouldn’t be climbing up from below without us knowing again.