The boss’ chamber was hidden behind a gold door, where once again the devs had created a masterpiece. There was a massive demon staring down at me. It had goat legs, a spade tail, two massively muscled arms in the normal spot and two spindly arms coming out of its stomach area. Several horns curled from its head to form a crown, and each was topped with a dancing flame. If this was going to be the boss, I was going to be prepared. I started with making as many explosive potions as I had ingredients for, assuming something that literally crowned itself in fire would be immune to flame attacks. I reapplied my ethereal shift potions and opened the door and slipped inside, trying to remain quiet.

My precautions were useless, as the boss had immediately noticed me. He had piercing greenish eyes, and the bluish flames on his crown danced in a nonexistent breeze. Shrugging, I walked forward as sconces in the walls lit to reveal a chamber empty except for me and the miniboss.

En’kazaar

Heroic pit king

Lvl 30

Pit kings are the lowest echelon of the nobility of the hells. Be warned, this does not make them weak by any means. Masters of both melee and magic, they are absolutely devastating in battle.

The whole time I was reading the description, the pit king hadn’t made a single move. I don’t know why, but it seems like all the bosses in this dungeon had something sitting on a throne. Well, knowing that it is almost always better to make the first move, I pulled out my only vial of bi-phasic blaze potion and threw it hard enough that it shattered on the back of the throne and ignited. The king looked down to his chest, then back at me and grinned.

“Fire? I was born of this!” It chuckled. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

“If one potion won’t do it, maybe a few more will.” I said, only I pulled out a rack of 15 spectral blast potions. I gave it a hard shake and immediately threw it, and just like I hoped the boss simply stood up and shook his head at me. The rack bounced off the back of the throne and landed on the seat, before the combined explosion destroyed it. I could vaguely see through the boss, and saw the epic release of a massive lightning bolt that walked its way up his spine before arcing around his crown horns and through his head.

Back arching in agony, I charged forward to take advantage of his predicament. “[Death’s gaze][Reaper’s edge]!” I activated both skills, and had to jump into the air to reach the boss’ shoulders. I carved a curved path from his left shoulder to his right ribs and back to his left hip before continuing my spin. “[Keen edge].” I activated the skill and gave a backhanded spinning slash from the boss’ right hip up to his left shoulder. At that point I drew back a bit, holding my weapon low and by my hip.

En’kazaar’s eyes were blazing in rage, his health having dropped into critical levels by the ferocious combination. “[Hellfire inferno]!” He snarled, as his two smaller hands from his stomach closed together in a circle and thrust forward. I tried my best to dodge the reddish purple flames that erupted forth, but he simply shifted his body to keep me within the cone of the attack. Three seconds in an inferno like that feels like hours. I still had the advantage, as I was still at half health, though slightly smoldering. He shifted into a fighting stance, keeping his body bladed towards me. We traded a few probing attacks, and I switched to the hammer side of my weapon to attack his wrists as he punched at me. Getting fed up, his swings started getting wilder. After a particularly telegraphed haymaker, I ducked inside his guard. A flick of my wrist spun the scythe into the attacking side, and I used it to pierce through the palm of one of his smaller hands, before turning it sideways and ripping out as much of a hole as I could.

“AAAAAAHHHHH!” He screamed in rage, smaller arms crossing to protect the remains of his mangled hand as his other arms swung forward, hoping to smash me between his fists. I ducked forward again, and brought the scythe in an uppercut movement with as much strength as I could bring to bear. The rage was swiftly replaced by shock, as that blow finally managed to take out the last bit of life from the boss. I stepped back, and watched as flames started flowing out from the cuts in his body, and slowly expanded to consume him.

Sighing in relief, I searched the body for loot. I received five ghostly flame shards, five ghostly ashes, and most importantly a depleted heart of ghostly flame. It looked like someone had cast a fireball in glass, and emptied it.

Depleted heart of ghostly flame

The power that once filled this artifact has been completely drained. In order to use it, you must first find a way to restore it to its former glory.

Durability: 5/5

Talk about an obvious hint. I held one of the flame shards near the heart and got a popup asking if I wanted to use it to charge the heart. Clicking yes, I began using all fifty of my shards to recharge the heart. Each one added more color to the sphere, increasing the internal light. By the time I had added the last one, the center was a mesmerizing dance of blues, greens, and purples constantly in motion. I spent five minutes before looking at the description.

Heart of ghostly flame

Taken from the remains of a pit king, this material once again shines with power. Contained within is the strength to alter the future potential of creatures.

Durability: 500/500

You don’t meet the requirements to use this item.

Level 68%

Well, that was disappointing. Into the inventory with you, I’ll deal with you later. Looking around I did manage to find a treasure chest behind a secret panel in the wall. Inside was a platinum coin and a ring made out of red crystal.

Infernal dweller’s ring

Crafted from a crystal only found on the infernal planes, this ring protects the wearer from fire damage. It is mainly used to ensure new slaves can adapt to their new home.

Fire resist +45%

A useful ring in the right circumstances, but not worth replacing my squire’s ring with. I stored it in my inventory in case I came across a fire dungeon. I wonder if it would automatically resize to fit all wearers, as I knew Derrick would love to have that. Heading towards the back of the room, I went down to the next level of the dungeon.

The bottom of the stairs opened up right in the middle of the level’s protective seal, and walking out revealed the staircase was in the middle of a hollowed out column. A light layer of mist obscured my view, but did nothing to inhibit mystic vision. I walked the circle of the seal, and opposite the exit from the staircase saw a large animal print glowing in my mystic vision. Whatever made this had to be huge, as I could fit my entire foot inside the footpad of the mark.

I slowly followed the prints through the mists, body thrumming with tension. Ten agonizing minutes later the mists were getting thinner, and I could barely make out a few blobs in the distance. Slowing down even further, I practically crawled along in the hopes that they wouldn’t see me. The blobs resolved themselves into three things. The smallest was a woman with the features of an elf but the size of a gnome. Onyx black hair was pulled back revealing pointed ears, and her face was free of any and all blemishes. Beside her was an enormous white tiger. It had a black spiked collar ringing its neck, and a square gem lodged in its forehead. The stripes on its chest circled around a similar gem that was much larger and shaped like a teardrop. Behind both of these was a deformed tree devoid of any leaves. It truly was a weeping willow, as the bark had grown into faces of horrendous pain, each one seeping a pale green sap from the eyes of the faces as well as splits in the bark.

Deviniella

Heroic fallen spirit caller lvl 30

Formerly a spirit caller, Deviniella has lost her way and has turned to syphoning lost souls she has trapped of their energy. Spare her no mercy.

Acongua

Heroic enslaved beast spirit lvl 30

Acongua once entered a contract with a spirit caller whose strength was only seen once in a generation. Deviniella has since betrayed everything she once held dear, and in the process enslaved Acongua. This once noble beast spirit still holds out hope of one day being freed from his bonds, but cannot disobey his mistress.

Corrupted heroic tree of souls

Lvl 30

This sapling cut from Yggdrasil itself has been corrupted by the foul magics of Deviniella. Instead of connecting the planes of existence and allowing their energies to intertwine, it is now a reservoir of souls that Deviniella can call upon at will to bolster her attacks.

I slowly backed away and headed towards the seal. It was getting late enough in the day that I felt logging out would be better than trying to take on the final boss. Once back at the seal, I set up a tent and ate some rations before finally logging out.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Brain numb, I cruised into Café Oblivion and was shocked to see I was the first to arrive for a change. Plopping down at our normal table, I must have mindlessly thumbed through the menu several times before I noticed a hand waving in my face.

“Huh, Wha?” I started in my chair.

“Ha! Man, you musta had a rough one today Marty.” Jon snorted. “Care to tell us about it?”

“In a bit, I guess I still need to recharge. How are things on the bugbear front?”

“Oh not too shabby. Finding the village wasn’t too bad. You get general directions once you evolve, and at least in my case I was found by some others from my new village.”

“You make friends with all the kids again?”

“Heh, no. Not this time. I had half the village kids wanting to follow me. It woulda been rough getting past all of them without tears so I snuck off in the middle of the night. I won’t make that mistake again. At least, not until I’m sure I am at the end of my evolutionary branch.”

“Bugbears can evolve?”

“Yep. I’ve seen at least one. The village chief is something called a Simiking. It looks a lot like a gorilla.”

“That’s cool. So what are you up to now? I don’t know about you, but finding quests isn’t as simple as those old school games with the yellow exclamation point above the NPC.”

“Ain’t that the truth? The evolved village is a lot more insular than the beginner village. I have a feeling that I would have to grind reputation to get anywhere near a quest.”

“Not gonna do that?”

“Nope. I learned what I needed to, got my location. I’m on my way to help Phoebe out. I promised her I would sit back and launch curses while filming for posterity.”

“And you are going to share the slaughter with your friends, yes?” I said with a smile.

“Ha, don’t you know it!”

“Know what, hun?” Phoebe asked, having snuck in when we were talking.

“Oh, just talking about your revenge dear.”

“You are going to make it on time, yes?”

“I should. I didn’t pick up any new skills though.”

“That’s fine, I’m going to be the one in the thick of it.”

“So Phoebe, how’s life as a cursed existence? Enjoying your evolution?” I asked.

“It gets rough at times. I try to use my transformation once per day to get some control over it. It’s tricky though, the simplest things can set off the rage. I was chasing a deer, and my increased height caused me to hit my head on a low hanging branch my other form would have easily gone under. Next thing I know, the entire tree has been reduced to kindling and the deer is long gone.”

“Wow. They give you any clues on how to get your curse under control?”

“Yeah, I have a starting point for what they call the Moonlit Path. I can seek out some of the shrines to Sin in the world, and gain a little more power over my curse with each one. There’s also some strong hints with the game lore about different beasts I’m going to check out.”

“Any ideas on getting the information? It isn’t like you can just walk into a library and ask, no?”

“Well, they kinda expected this I think. The farther along the Moonlit Path you are, the harder it is to detect your curse. Once it is completed, nobody can detect it unless you are in your other state. At that point I’m going to have to chase down some bards.”

“Bards? Gonna have some music calm the savage beast?” Jon chuckled.

“No, you ass.” Phoebe said with a smile. “Bards are like walking libraries. I’m going to see if any can fill me in on the stories I’ve heard. Maybe meet some more of my kind.”

“There are other?” I asked.

“I assume so. The leader of the village congratulated me on becoming a Full Moon King. You could practically hear the capitalization in the title, and there has to be some legends about them. I just gotta find them.”

“Sounds about right. Maybe you’ll start hearing stories about me.” Derrick said, having come in halfway through Phoebe’s updates.

“Oh, and just what have you been doing that will inspire stories?” Jon asked.

“Night raiding bandits. It really is fun, and I’m probably the only troll in the game with the sneak skill.”

“You got sneak? That is so not fair.” Jon laughed.

“Swear to god.”

“So what do you use as a weapon?”

“Oh I found an ironwood tree not too long ago, makes a really good club. With the bonus damage from strength I am a terror up close. Of course, nobody expects the troll to have a ranged weapon, so mine is pretty devastating when they turn to run.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but what have you done?” Phoebe asked, hiding her face in her hands.

“Well, you know my love of Frisbee golf in college?”

“Oh god, no. Nononononono!” Jon started muttering while shaking his head.

“Oh yes my friend, oh yes! See, I found a shale bed near a small stream. Nice, chippable, shale. It took a day to get the technique right, but I now have an inventory full of shale Frisbees the size of manhole covers. Each one with a near razor edge.”

“They made that into a weapon for you?”

“Yep. I guess some cities have used stone disks in the past as weapons, though they used launchers that looked like a sideways catapult. I just throw it.”

“I’m leery of asking this, but what sort of damage does it do?” I asked.

“Well, it depends on how they get hit. Edge on, which is more common now that I am getting back some of my technique, it usually bisects them. I’ve actually gotten five in one throw before. If it starts flipping, or hits them blunt style, well let’s just say ‘pulp’ and leave it at that.” We all cringed at that last description.

“Any issues with armor?” Jon asked.

“Nah, most of these bandits have shoddy leather at best, a few of the leaders have higher quality stuff. Nobody has plate so far, but I wouldn’t be too worried about it.”

“People don’t do too well in dented armor, right?” I asked.

“Exactly.” He said, pointing a finger at me. “So, how about you Marty?”

“Well, to be honest I could use a bit of help from you guys.”

“Oho? This should be good.” Jon said, sitting forward.

“Well, I got myself into a heroic dungeon, and the last boss is more like a three in one.”

“Hold up a second, what is a heroic dungeon?” Phoebe asked, leaning in.

“From what I can gather, you gain experience at the end of the dungeon, everything in there is heroic, and three levels above what you are. You really have to grind your way through, as each battle has a chance to kill you. Now, the final boss is supposed to be a spirit caller that has lost her way. There’s also a rather large white tiger and some form of warped tree of souls that is probably going to heal the caller.”

“Does the tiger have some jewels on it?” Phoebe asked.

“Yes, one on the forehead and one on the chest. Why?”

“Ok, that’s good. It has to be her spirit attendant. Basically the caller’s pet. Those jewels are going to be massive weak points. She should be able to mentally command it, so even if you silence her it will still attack.”

“Makes sense, what about the collar on it?”

“What collar?”

“Did I not mention it? It has a black spiky collar on it.”

“Ok, and this is very important. How black is it? Like a lighter black mixed with some grey, or is it ‘straight from the pit of hell’ black?”

“The latter, why?”

“Because that means she has a complete submission collar on it. There is no way that a pet should ever need one of those, they are incapable of going against their contractor!”

“Wait, in their descriptions it said that the caller had lost her way. Could she have committed a taboo so great that her companion would turn on her, and consider their contract broken?”

“Only if she did something stupid like consigning a soul to oblivion. Nobody would do that though. That’s a great way to bring down the wrath of the gods.”

“Well, this is a divine quest from Thanatos.”

“Marty.” She stared at me, leaning forward. “Have you ever heard of something called ‘pertinent information?’ Because the divine portion of this quest and dungeon would firmly fall into the ‘pertinent fucking information’ category.” She practically snarled at me.

“Sorry about that. According to Thanatos, she has been draining souls to fuel her life force and prolong her life. I’m sure she has drained a few to oblivion.”

“Yeah.” She said with a sigh. “That would definitely break the contract. So you have a fun fight ahead of you. Do you draw off and fight the tiger, hoping you can somehow take out his collar? Or do you take on the caller, hoping to silence her before she can order her slave pet to kill you? What of that tree, looming in the background?”

“Well, you paint a lovely picture there, Phoebe. Can you tell me more about this submission collar? Is it physical or ethereal?”

“Physical. They aren’t very durable, but good luck getting close enough to take one out. Spirit tigers are some of the strongest pets, and the white variety are the strongest variants. There’s a reason they are one of the most feared hunters on our planet.”

“You would think that they would make it incredibly durable so that your slave doesn’t get it knocked off in battle.”

“Perhaps I misspoke. You’re right, most of it is incredibly durable. But the latch isn’t. Good luck hitting a latch when several hundred pounds of pissed off tiger are wanting to shred you to bits.”

“Thanks Phoebe, I think you have given me a semblance of a plan.”

“Seriously? You’re going to go for the latch?”

“Yep. I have an acid potion I can launch with a crossbow bolt. Once the latch is cut, the collar should pop right off, right?”

“Yeah. Keep us informed about how it goes, I want to hear more of those heroic dungeons.”

“Thinking of grinding them?” At everyone’s nod, I continued, “Yeah, it seems like a great loophole to be exploiting. Let’s hope the devs overlooked it, but I will probably have to report it if they did.”

“Yeah, it sucks that our jobs require us to tell about any loopholes we find in the rules.” Derrick muttered. We all agreed with his sentiment, and the conversation drifted from there to more mundane topics. After an hour or so of decompression, I excused myself and headed off to bed.