《A Gentleman's Curse》Chapter 19: Words left unsaid [E]
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Four dark figures sat around a circular table in a small room, two with feminine shapes and two muscular, all with splotched black wings adorning their backs. Rain could be heard pattering down outside while occasionally, thunder sounded out. Dim light trickled in through the windows, grey from the clouds.
One of the feminine figures stood up.
"We should send a stronger unit in to wipe out the birds there. I could easily deal with a few scouts mys-"
"You are foolish and cocky as usual, Ariel, "one of the larger figures interrupted with a scoff, motioning for her to sit down. "That is why you are a bad commander, let alone worthy to even sit among us. It is a team dispatched to protect the families. It would take at least Minerva herself to turn the battle in our favor, and we still wouldn't have a high chance of winning,"
"Now now, Uhren. Minerva invited her; she is allowed to have an opinion as much as you are," the other muscular figure spoke this time, with a softer voice, chastising the man.
Uhren merely glared at his companion before continuing, "The father is unimportant anyway. It is the children we need. We should wait here until they return or follow the father with a small squad if he moves. Either way, for no-"
"We've found them," another winged figure declared abruptly, rushing into the room and interrupting Uhren while speaking to the only one in the room that had yet to say a word.
"How? They have been gone for over a week now, what could have led you to them?" the quiet one asked, skepticism in her voice.
She had a deep yet soft voice when she'd spoke, one that demanded attention and obedience.
They'd been hunting for the family for over a week since they had vacated the town. They'd learned through blood that their protectors hadn't gone with, staying back in force to keep the father safe instead for some reason. Fortunately, only weaker members were lost as they were the ones ordered to investigate closely.
Regardless, the trail had gone cold as their exit from the city obscured, only learning their prey had left by the next day. The fact that it had suddenly reappeared was a good sign and a bad one.
Minerva hadn't lived this long taking massive risks and she wouldn't start here.
"Scouting the woods to the east with our dogs again provided scents that hadn't been there before. Perhaps they had been obscured by magic that wore off, but either way, they picked up the scent," the excited man stated, slowly beginning to catch his breath.
'If it's just a trick of mana-'
"Well why didn't yo-" Ariel began shouting but stopped as a sword lodged itself through her throat.
She looked up confused at its wielder before coughing blood and falling from her chair to ground moments later.
"Ahhh... You've done it again, Erv. Why do you invite them in if you'll just kill them? Would it not be better to send them to die fighting?" the man with the softer voice asked, taking a half step away from the blood that had begun pooling on the floor.
"I wanted a third. She had shown promise when we fought Demi-Humans a while back. It was a fluke, apparently. Had I let her live, I'd still have an incompetent in charge of one of my squads," Minerva replied while staring at the girl's twitching body. "And I hate being interrupted."
She then turned to the man who had spoken with the softer tone and began anew.
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"Gather what you'll need Charles, I want you taking point on this. Track them down and bring me the child, dead or alive. This most likely is a trap, but it's too good an opportunity to pass up if it isn't. Your life is the priority though, abandon the squad in its entirety if you must," Minerva stated. "I want to know what they are up to."
Charles looked at her strangely, most likely wondering when Ariel had interrupted her. He delayed for only a second before nodding his head and standing up, stepping over the body lying on the ground as he made for the scout by the door.
"I'll be going then. Weekly reports as usual?"
Minerva nodded back and stood as well, turning to Uhren.
"Clean that up and continue surveillance of the town. Let me know of any developments."
"As you wish," Uhren said with a sigh, choosing to remain seated.
Minerva turned and led the way out of the room, scout and Charles in tow.
"Why is it you continue to allow him to keep his secrets?" Vanessa asked, breaking apart the cool mountain air and silence with her words.
"He'll talk to us w-"
"No he won't and you know it. Stop pretending like you are doing the right thing by waiting for him to come to you, Emily. You and Garrett both know Damien has no plans to voice the troubles in his heart and moments like this will continue to drive your family apart. You need to speak wi-"
"And what if I can't fix it," Emily asked in a whisper.
Emily glanced over at Vanessa before returning her gaze to the lake. She sat on a rock with her knees pulled into her chest while the sky slowly darkened from the rainclouds that looked to be moving in.
Vanessa stood behind her, boring a hole into her back, no doubt. The kids were working on their shelter again, spurred into action from the volatility of the sky, so the adults had time to themselves.
It had been another four days since that night, yet neither her nor Damien had elected to speak of it. To Emily, him not bringing it up made the thought of her asking him... unsettling to say the least. Yet, it was obvious to her and anyone that had eyes that whatever he was holding inside was tearing him apart. Regardless of how composed the boy thought himself to be, Emily knew when he'd have a bad day with regards to his depression. He almost always woke up late on these days, didn't laugh like he should, forced jokes and conversation to mask his real thoughts, practiced the forms much longer than regular, and always seemed to be two places at once throughout the day with the only exception being when he sunk into the forms.
It was a strange feeling for her to be nervous about asking her son what was bothering him, but in a way, she didn't want to know. She'd drawn conclusions based on what he'd said and how he acted and simply, she was nervous to ask. Emily wanted nothing more than to help but she was terrified that what he had troubling him would be too much for her to do anything about. Once Damien shared his concerns with her it would become her job to fix it, and if she couldn't... she would fail as a parent and as a mother. He might resent her for it and definitely wouldn't trust her with his woes ever again, driving a huge wedge between them. She'd never be able to forgive herself if that happened.
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Whether her worries were realistic or unrealistic didn't matter. Her brain was content to torture her all the same.
"You don't have to have the answers to all his questions, Emily. That is not what being a parent means," Vanessa said, resting her hand on Emily's shoulder.
"How would you know? You've never had kids before," Emily shot back, flinching slightly at her statement holding more malice than she'd intended. "I'm sor-"
"It's a fair statement, but you don't need children to know how to help someone going through a hard time. Perhaps I should have phrased it better."
Vanessa moved to stand beside her, but Emily didn't respond, continuing to stare across the lake. It was beautiful even on a cloudy day. Perhaps the Fae hidden inside would take her away to a world without problems. Minutes passed before Vanessa finally broke the silence.
"How selfish will you continue to be, content to sit here while your son suffers?" Vanessa asked, breaking her thoughts and causing no small amount of anger to well up.
"I didn't cause thi-"
"Emily," Vanessa interrupted. "This isn't about cause. You sit here, lost in thought and content to leave the situation be while the boy breaks inside more and more. You can not shelter him from his own mind, this isn't about you. What if he feels you resent him and-"
"I would never! He kno-"
"How would he know? You've hardly spoken in the past few days!" Vanessa argued back, raising her voice and moving into her line of sight.
The tone and volume the Celestial had used startled her. She'd never seen Vanessa this emotional about anything other than her family.
"You've both essentially stopped being parent and child. You've avoided each other during a moment when he is in pain. He doesn't need you to fix him, Emily, he needs you to be a mother. To be THERE for him. You don't need to have the answers to his questions you just need to reassure him that you'll be there to find the answers with him! I don't care if he is four, seventy, or two million years old. Right now, he is pretending to be ok as he moves through his days holding onto something that breaks him apart every time he thinks of it and you're AVOIDING HIM!"
Emily tried to look away from the Celestials angry eyes but a hand caught her jaw.
"Don't even think about it. Respond to what I just said. Say anything you want, right now. Come up with an excuse to be a shitty mother or get off your ASS and go help your child!"
Vanessa stood in front of her friend more angry than she had been in years. If Emily even tried to move her hands, Vanessa knew she'd lose what little composure she had and smack the girl.
It was not because she loved them, nor because they were so infuriating to watch. Both were contributing factors towards her distaste in the situation, but not what had set her off. Instead, it was the expression Emily had worn when looking out across the lake. In that moment, Vanessa had not seen Emily but her own mother, content to escape reality into a world where her troubles didn't exist.
The mother who had abandoned her child when it needed protection. The mother who had decided her daughter's cries and bruises were of little consequence in the face of keeping her new husband happy. An unfortunate outlet for his anger, but one that would get over it in time when time was all they had.
Vanessa had decided at that point in time that no matter what happened with their friendship afterward, she would not allow Emily to walk that same path her mother had. Regardless of how different the circumstances, Vanessa saw the same pain in the boy's expression as she had felt when her family had abandoned her. He was as lost as she had once been and she would have given anything for a mother at that moment in time.
Emily stared back into her eyes and said nothing. One minute turned into two, two into three.
After five, she finally spoke.
"I like it when you're agr-"
Vanessa tightened her grip and Emily squirmed.
"Ow ow ok o-"
"Stop screwing around. Nothing about this is funny."
Emily immediately stopped her squirming and turned her eyes down, obviously not feeling any discomfort. Vanessa may be a Celestial but Emily was a Combatant; she was more than strong enough to be unhurt by this. Her antics only served to upset Vanessa further.
"...I'll go try later when he finis- Ahhhh!!"
The half statement was all Vanessa needed before she grabbed Emily by her arms and hoisted her into the air, causing her to yelp. Giving Emily time to talk herself out of it was not something she was going to let happen and luckily, lifting Emily into the air always seemed to make her stop fighting whatever it was she planned to do with her, hanging limply.
Like a cat.
"Andddd that... should do it I hope."
Damien took a step back to admire his work while speaking to Alexa. They had just finished adding a ton of hardened rock they'd both spent hours creating to the roof of their temporary home.
It had only started out as a sleeping area, but Damien had recently decided it was good practice for earth magic and began adding more and more to it as the days went by. Now, it looked like a standard sized home, large enough to sleep everyone in their group and the Fae that traveled with them.
They had been ecstatic to hear he was willing to make a room just for them in the earth and were relentless in their demands when he asked what it should look like. Fountains, small beds, bird baths, tunnels...
When he'd finally finished, they kicked him out. After an hour, he was invited back in and was instantly humbled by everything he saw. The fountains were full and continuously running, a red glow came from the tunnels, the ceiling had become pure glass that showed the trees above them and lit up the entire room with natural lighting, hammocks and a second story were both added... They'd even put a golden archway that was rippling slightly against the far side of the room.
He did his best to avoid going into that area of the house since then. It took a lot of his drive away, knowing they'd done in an hour something he couldn't have fathomed even beginning.
Alexa stood back, wiping her hands on her pants while smiling. She had been less excited than him about improving upon the basic structure of their home, but had gotten motivated the bigger and more impressive he'd made it. Today she had even asked to help rather than chosen to practice on her own.
"I'm going to get Vanessa and Emily. Their room has a roof. Now they don't have to sleep in the tent! I'll be back in a bit."
"No, why don't we show... and she's gone," Damien said, letting out a sigh. "Why can't she just leave it be?" He asked, looking at his left shoulder.
The past few days had given Alexa enough time to see something had become off between him and Emily and she had taken to trying to make them spend more time together whenever she had the opportunity. While Damien appreciated the intent behind her actions, she was less than tactful while doing it. Bringing Emily over for every little thing they accomplished was definitely overboard.
No one cared if you'd finally added shelves to your outhouse for anything you might be carrying.
"You'd think she'd get the hint after so many failed attempts, right? I mean honestly... how many awkward situations does she need to put us in?"
The Fae on his shoulder said nothing, only continuing to watch his actions and shrugging. He was starting to genuinely enjoy this one's company as the days went by. Something about having a confidant that couldn't speak was just perfect.
"It's funny, I would have thought out of everything that has happened lately, you would be the one least likely to be around here listening to me mope, yet here you are," he said, looking to get a reaction out of her.
The Fae only shrugged again, while waving forward with her hand as if to demand he continue entertaining her with his frivolous actions.
"Who would have thought a Fae could be rational. And even accepting fault once called out? Impossible am I right?"
The Fae only shrugged again, causing Damien to sigh. She wouldn't entertain him; that was his job for her.
He had been moving through the forms the day prior with the fairy on his shoulder when he began wondering about why he had done what he did that day. Why he had kissed the woman. She really had been a woman at that point too, grown taller than him. It still boggled his mind that she could increase her size even if he knew the Fae were often told of in Human size back on Earth.
It was this line of thought that brought him to reminiscing on the Fae of his old world and to an old story he had once read of a man disappearing in the night, seen last with a woman of unimaginable beauty. The village had thought nothing of it until another man vanished in the same manner, followed by another. Finally, one had disappeared only to return the following day, telling a story of a mesmerizing land full of mesmerizing people, all more beautiful than the last. It was there that he had seen the other men that went missing, dancing with a beautiful woman each on their arms and unable to look away from them even when he called their names. Upon noticing their enchanted state of mind, the man realized he had been led down a fairy mound. He refused food, drink, and even women's advances, no matter how tempting. And tempting they were, for a Fae woman did not only charm with their looks but with something else entirely.
The story brought him to a dead stop during the forms and caused him to look over at his shoulder where she rested. When he peered into her eyes with suspicion, he felt nothing. However, his thoughts slowly floated toward admiration rather than suspicion. Upon noticing this, he chastised himself and began scrutinizing her once again for... something. Once again, his thoughts slowly began to outline the beautiful color of her hair, the way her eyes seemed to shine, and the pink, delicate shape of her lips. He had begun leaning in to kiss her again when he snapped out of it and yelled in her face, causing her to leap off his shoulder while looking at him indignantly.
She had been charming him, whether intentionally or not. He remembered the slight mana he'd felt trying to influence him after he'd kissed her and it only reconfirmed what he knew to be the truth. It was no wonder the legends portrayed kissing a Fae to be similar to a death sentence to Humanity. You would never be able to return because you would never be able to shut down the magic they used to influence your mind afterward like he had, because people on Earth had no mana.
When he'd accused her of it and demanded if that was why she had seemed to forgive him, the Fae had merely nodded while blushing slightly. It satisfied him to finally understand what had happened yet slight concern when he realized she was still around him.
It turned out not to be a problem though as for some reason, ever since he recognized she had some form of passive charm about her, it had gone away.
Perhaps knowledge truly was the same as power in this world.
"You're no fun when you aren't blushing or flying around, excited at my magic. You could stand to be more expressive, or at least learn to repeat my words like a parrot if you'll be on my shoulder from now on, you know?"
The Fae shrugged again. Damien gave up. He began walking around to the front of the house to go inside when he heard yelling in the distance.
Turning around, he followed where the sound originated from with his eyes and saw a very angry looking Vanessa flying toward him with Emily held by her armpits below her. Within a few seconds, they had landed.
Vanessa dragged Emily over to him, depositing her in front of him before turning around and grabbing the returned Alexa. Alexa protested but Vanessa heard nothing as she leapt into the air and disappeared into the distance.
Damien and Emily stood outside his shelter, listening to the breeze as it whipped through the many trees.
Ten minutes went by yet no one had spoken a word, let alone made a sound. The silence was becoming more and more daunting by the second, but he couldn't for the life of him think of any way to begin a conversation. It was obvious why she was here and he had been trying to come up with anything to say for days now but alas, here he stood with nothing on his mind except the many different ways he could escape for another day or two.
Salvation came in an interesting manner, as the forgotten Fae that had been sitting on his shoulder stood up, exasperated, and flew to Emily, pushing on the back of her head in his direction. The action and the ridiculously little effect it had earned a chuckle from him and a smile from Emily before she waved the fairy off, prompting it to fly back to his shoulder.
"She has really grown quite attached to you lately, hasn't she?" Emily asked, first to speak.
'As she should have been,' he thought.
He wasn't the one who had pissed Vanessa off.
"I guess hurting me seems to cause the fairer sex to enjoy my company more," Damien responded with a chuckle, glancing at the Fae.
"The fairer sex? You mean women?" Emily questioned with a tilt of her head.
"Yeah."
"I like that saying. Makes a lot of sense. We are definitely more fair than men. I wonder where you heard it," she said with a forced smile.
He smiled back in the same manner but said nothing to her unspoken question. Time passed.
"Is, uhm... everything going fine with your practice lately?" Emily eventually asked.
"Yeah. I'm working on earth manipulation. It's going well, I suppose," he replied.
"What is earth?" she questioned after a moment's hesitation, looking into his eyes expectantly.
Damien's eyes went from unfocused and unconcerned to sharp in an instant as his body froze.
'That's the question, isn't it? Finally making progress in a normal conversation and yet here we are, right back to the heart of the matter with no way to avoid it now. Not like we could have avoided it anyway...' he thought.
"Just a word I made up," he lied.
"Oh... ok," she responded, looking downcast.
It had likely taken a lot of effort for that question to come out of her. Who wouldn't be scared in her situation? Here was her son, about to tell her all about a different life he used to live. Would that even be her son anymore or some alien wearing his skin?
Damien had wanted to explain himself to her, yet the thought of broaching that subject was too large a hurdle for him.
'Why did this have to happen now when everything is going so well? I just wanted to live a normal life, why won't this world let me?'
The Fae stood up from his shoulder again and smacked him on the head before disappearing into the lake. Damien watched her go while smiling bitterly, wishing she'd never left. Now they were truly alone and it felt like being hundreds of feet under the ocean, slowly being crushed by the unspoken topic.
"Damien, what is earth?" Emily asked again, this time with more resolve in her tone.
He sighed.
'Damn fairy.'
"It's... not something I would like to talk about," he said while turning his head away.
"Well... I'd like to know about it, if it will help," she replied.
"It won't help, it will just make it worse. Can't we just pretend you never saw that a few days ago?" he responded, grasping at straws.
"Damien..."
"No, I mean it. Please? Why does it have to be now? I'm not ready to talk about any of it," he said in a desperate tone.
"When will you be ready if not now though, sweetheart? You are in pain now and I want to help," she said in a sad and concerned tone.
It was in her eyes, her cheeks, her sad smile... even her eyebrows seemed laced with it.
After a few seconds ticked by, he responded.
"I don't know, but I'm not now and I'm fine as is. I'm not sad or anything right now, why can't we just leave it be?"
"You are sad now though, I can tell. We all c-"
"I'm not sad!" he yelled. "I'm fine!"
"I just want to hel-"
"I don't want your help!" 'Stop yelling at her!' "I just want you all to leave this alone! Just leave it! Please!" He shouted, yelling at himself in his mind as angry tears began to fall from his eyes, unbeknownst to him.
This wasn't how this was supposed to go. This wasn't how any of this was supposed to happen. He wanted to tell her about all of it. He wanted to hear her say it was fine, that everything was still ok.
"I won't just leave it if whatever it is hurts you this much, my star. Tell me, please. Let me listen," she said back, losing the nervousness behind her expression as he got flustered.
'Don't. Please, don-' "What do you want to hear? About how my real family believes me to be dead and I have no way of going back to them? About how I'm stuck here in a world where I have to kill everything around me or get eaten, just to get by? Or do you want to hear about the constant nightmares I have about you all finding out everything and abandoning me? Is that it? You want to hear how you aren't really my mother, no matter how much you think you are, so finally you can feel less guilty wh-"
A loud sound echoed through a relatively quiet forest, stopping Damien's words in their tracks. He rocked on his feet and fell to his side as his face lit up like a flame, Emily's right hand dropping back down to her side. His left ear was ringing and he felt completely off balance and slightly nauseous as Emily moved him around.
When he finally regained his bearings, he shook his head a little and tried to stand up only to feel himself held in place around his waist and chest. Looking down, two arms wrapped around him while he was seated on Emily's lap. Her hair draped over his shoulders as she sat behind him, trembling slightly.
"You are my son. I will never, never abandon you. Ever."
The arms wrapped around him tighter, allowing no argument to the statement or movement, holding him in place as if to say there was no way out of her family. He reached up and grabbed onto them, holding on for dear life. Emily leaned down and kissed the top of his head while he tried to think of something intelligent to say, something nice preferably, but all that came out were silent tears and more shaking.
"I miss them so much," he confessed, finally getting ahold of his voice only to lose it again after his statement.
"I know you do, my star. I know," she said holding him tighter.
Minutes seemed to pass in what felt like hours as the two sat together on the ground, silent. He didn't know really where to start from here and she seemed content to let him take his time.
Finally, he calmed down enough and began speaking.
"My first parents... they never wanted me. Always threatened to abandon me, until they finally did. Left me outside a shop and drove away, never turning back." Emily said nothing to that, so Damien continued, "After that, I went in and out of a few other homes until I landed with my family. I resented them at first for taking me away from all the friends I'd made at the orphanage for so long, knowing they'd abandoned me like the rest, until I realized they weren't going to take me back. Then, I was confused. Unsure of why they weren't taking me back until that feeling morphed into a fear that they would. I'd lash out and scream at them on days it got bad, yet they'd give me nothing but love in return each and every single time. It took a long time before that fear disappeared and yet now, it turns out I'm the one who abandoned them. I've lost them and there is no going back."
Emily seemed to tighten her embrace anew with her left arm while she moved her right arm to scratch the top of his head, once again not saying anything.
"It's funny, you remind me of her so much even though you both couldn't be further from each other."
"Why don't you tell me more about her? I think I'd love to hear about the woman who helped make you who you are today," Emily said suddenly, pausing her scratching for a moment.
Damien looked up, surprised at Emily's response, to see her looking down at him. She smiled back at him as he slowly nodded, delving into story after story of his first mother, sometimes smiling while remembering and sometimes hurting, yet the arms around him never let go and neither did the feeling of home they brought.
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