HIM – WEDDING CRAZE

Tyson stood awkwardly while holding onto a glass of champagne in one hand and a microphone in the other. He stared at the rows of people, totaling in nearly a hundred, who all stared right back at him. The room was surrounded by gaping windows as streams of sun rained through, causing the entire scene to turn somewhat serene. Next to him, Jared sat with a slightly embarrassed expression, while Emma – wearing a beautiful, white wedding dress – was eyeing him as though to say ‘you better not screw it up’. Mustering bits of scattered courage, he pulled the mic up close to his lips.

“Khm,” he coughed lightly as though that would scare away the nervousness. “So, these guys hired me—I mean asked me to be their best man,” he said as a few people chuckled. “It was a right choice, of course, as I really am the best man. Certain someone will certainly regret her decision,” Emma rolled her eyes as the rest of the people laughed for a moment. “Uh, anyway, bad puns aside, I’ve known these two all my life, and if there’s one thing they taught me, it’s that no matter how ugly the guy is, as long as he’s ripped as hell, all’s good.” after another bout of laughter, Tyson continued slowly. “But, because I’ve known them all my life, I also know just how important this day is to them. Uh, sorry, I meant her. Definitely just her,” Tyson said, glancing at Emma who stared daggers at him. “All jokes aside, I mean, for the time being… those who know me also know that I’m absolutely terrible when it comes to writing,” Tyson said. “So there’s no way I can pull out something good out of my backside. For that, please refer to Nicholas Sparks. Nonetheless, I don’t think that these two need flowery poem to embellish their day,” Tyson said as he smiled faintly at the two. “So I’ll just say the same thing all of us are seeing when we look at the two: dearest Emma, it is perhaps time you start trusting those shady TV commercials about pills that increase height, because even if someone wants to admire you, they can’t even see you next to this guy,” the rows of people burst out in laughter at the sudden shift, while Emma simply lowered and shook her head. “And, dear Jared, your wife isn’t a gym. Be considerate.”

“You bastard!!” unable to take it anymore, Emma roared out and nearly jumped out of her chair but Jared managed to hold her back while his cheeks soared read.

“Khm, what this waste of oxygen is trying to say,” Aya suddenly interjected as she stripped the mic out of Tyson’s hands. “Is that you two are perfect for each other, bla bla, you’ll grow old together, bla bla, we all envy your grand love, bla bla, let’s toast two the two newest prisoners—I mean two newlyweds! To Jared and Emma!”

“To Jared and Emma!” glasses clanked and drinks were downed while both Emma and Jared regretted deeply their choice of the best man and the maid of honor. The latter two glanced at each other and chuckled, giving thumbs up under the table. As the party proceeded, soon enough, the time for the groom’s and bride’s first dance came.

As the crowd quieted down and the two left the seats of honor and walked over to the stage, lights dimmed as the curtains were pulled over the windows, and the hanging chandelier above lit up like stars. The two – one clad in expensive, black suit he was forced to buy, and the other clad in a beautiful, wedding dress she forced him to buy – stood side by side as they waited for music to begin.

“… great toast.” Aya whispered as she sat next to Tyson.

“Nice save.” Tyson replied, smiling. “Why do you think they never told us what song it’ll be?”

“Because we’d make fun of them to no end?” Aya mumbled.

“… you’re evil.”

“If I’m evil then you’re broodmother.”

“What does that even mean?!” Tyson exclaimed softly.

“Eh? Don’t you play games? You know, those gigantic spiders that keep shitting out eggs, the broodmothers.” Aya said.

“…” Tyson rolled his eyes and sighed. “Sometimes… I truly don’t understand you…”

“Khm, khm.” Emma coughed as she glared at the two; they stiffened for a moment and looked at her apologetically.

However, as soon as the song started, both Aya and Tyson nearly fell off their chairs. Their hands found one another and gripped tightly as they did their best to hold back. They’re really going to do it! Tyson thought as he watched the two move. They’re doing the dirty dancing!! Song was none other than The Time of my Life, and dance was none other than the final dance in the Dirty Dancing. Tyson had no clue how will they pull it off with Emma’s wedding dress, but, the whole thing slowly unfolded before their very eyes.

Still, his cynicism slowly faded as the song went on; even though their movies were slightly clumsy, and their rhythm was off at few points, he felt himself entering a strange trance as he watched the two. It wasn’t just him; Aya, and almost everyone else present, stopped clapping as they watched the two dance to the tune of music. The two even managed to get over two dozen people into the train, before they helped them reenact the airplane scene.

“… aah, I can’t even make fun of them like this,” Aya said as she sighed. “They’re actually kind of adorable.”

“… dammit, someone better have recorded this,” Tyson grumbled. “I can hit at least two mil with this on YouTube.”

“… sometimes I wonder whether you’re the sole descendent of frost giants.” Aya said.

“Hmm… well, I truly am gigantic.” Tyson said as he stroked his chin.

“… even when watching this beautiful scene, you still can’t help it, huh?” Aya said, rolling her eyes.

“Shut up. My frozen heart, steeled through the years of neglect and suffering, was about to melt. I had to salvage the situation.”

“Right, right. Sorry for trying to stop you from roleplaying the cool guy.”

“Khm, no problem, no problem,” Tyson said. “After all, you don’t know any better.”

“I’ll seriously whip you when we get back home.”

“… wasn’t the deal that I’d be whipping you?”

“Nope.”

“Tsk.”

“Don’t you click your tongue at me,” Aya grumbled, pinching his thigh. “I’m just wondering whether you’ll be this loose when it’s our time.”

“… are we dropping hints already? The wedding isn’t even over yet!” Tyson said.

“I thought you wouldn’t get it unless the circumstances are perfect,” Aya replied, smirking. “Don’t misunderstand.” Tyson rolled his eyes at her before replying.

“You really think I’m tone deaf when it comes to hints? Come at me! Any time!”

“Ah, I truly love white roses…” Aya said.

“Wedding dress!”

“I would fly to the moon and back~~”

“Sound Garden!”

“Wow!” Aya exclaimed.

“… don’t patronize me. That’s the song you want for our first dance?” Tyson asked.

“Isn’t it beautiful, though?” Aya asked. “It would be even better if you could sing it.”

“Yeah, sure, allow me to ruin an amazing song for the four people that will attend our wedding.” Tyson said.

“Four?” Aya looked at him.

“Your mom, Emma, Jared and the priest.” Tyson said.

“…”

“What? You think we can afford a bigger wedding? Do you take me to be a spendthrift like Jared?” Tyson asked.

“… pft, ha ha ha,” Aya burst out into soft laughter as she buried her head into her chest as to not disrupt the marvelous ending to a rather awkward first dance. “You really are amazing, you know that?”

“… of course I am.” Tyson said, looking away while trying to hide his blushing cheeks. “Khm, isn’t that why you’re dating me?”

“Nah, that’s why I’m screwing you.”

“Cough, cough, you damn…”

“Ha ha, and that’s why I love you.” Aya said.

“… sneaky.” Tyson said, sighing. “Come on, let’s go and… congratulate them. God, just thinking about keeping the straight face from now on is causing me to constipate.”

“I’ve got some laxatives in the purse if it’ll help.”

“Why the fuck do you have that?!”

“Hey, I don’t know when you’ll go kinky on me~~”

“… forget wedding, you’ll be holding my funeral before that if you keep up with this!!”

“Ha ha ha…”