Self Inflicted

I instinctively turned towards the source of the noise.

From behind Cielle’s bedroom door, I could hear the sound of faint footsteps, and constant rustling. After a minute or two, the footsteps suddenly grew louder, before Cielle’s bedroom door was suddenly opened with a vigorous push.

“Little Boss, are you in here? We’re back-” Her words abruptly halted, stifled by the sound of her sudden gasp.

“What’s wrong, Nari-!” The person who was following after her, also let out a startled cry. Her eyes bulged wide and stared, an unmasked glint of disbelief shining beneath her irises.

In front of the doorway to Cielle’s bedroom were two people carrying two large plastic bags, filled with various assortments of canned goods and bottled water. The one to the far back, with the small body and meticulously maintained twintails, was Kido’s old friend. Her child-like arms, poked out from an oversized men’s sweatshirt, while a short pair of shorts adorned her hips, and exposed her well toned thighs. Going by how surprisingly clean her appearance was, she probably looted her outfit recently from one of the apartment suites within the building.

I had forgotten the name of this girl, or rather, I don’t think I ever learned it. While I tried to briefly recall my nonexistent memories of her, from out of the blue, the girl suddenly started to panic. Apparently, under the heat of my curious gaze, her cheeks vigorously flushed red, as her eyes quickly turned to the floor. She hastily mumbled out a greeting, her head tilting down in an exaggerated bow.

The reaction she showed me, rather than one of shy nervousness stemming from affection, it seemed to be one of genuine fear. The cold sweat that flowed down from her cheeks, and the slight tremble in her lower lip, were apparent. Having experienced two months of living hell, it was easy for me to distinguish the authentic dread she emitted.

Taking a step back, I did not blame her for such a reaction. Rather, I slightly sympathized for her. She had been one of Kido’s closest friends, and with the exception of Narise, she was also the only one who had survived when Kido cleaned out the entire cafeteria group. Living through that sort of traumatic event, in addition to the hell on earth we currently lived in, it was natural for her to develop that type of response.

I shifted my gaze away from Kido’s old friend, and turned towards the other new arrival. The one standing a little bit in front of Kido’s friend was a familiar face.

Hair styled in a somewhat sloppy braid, rounded spectacles, and a droopy pair of eyes, Narise was standing in front of the doorway with a tilted smile on her face. Like Kido’s friend, she had on new clothes that she probably stole from somewhere nearby. She wore pair of black track pants, matched with a tucked-in plain white T-shirt.

By her feet was a white scaled Gila. Compared to the last time I had seen it, the Gila had grown larger. Standing next to Narise, I could see that the top of its head had reached the height of Narise’s mid-thigh.

“Boss, you’re back!” Narise spoke happily, breaking out into a toothy smile. “I knew someone as strong as you wouldn’t die so easily.”

Looking at Narise’s innocent smile, and genuine expression on her face, I couldn’t help but furrow my brow. A feeling of frustration mixed with faint helplessness seeped into my mind.

Narise was undoubtedly the one who had caused the Manticore to attack us. Whether intentionally or not, she had grabbed the egg, causing the Manticore to fly into a rage and chase after us. While it was clear that this self absorbed, monster-loving person hadn’t done it on purpose, it still irritated me to see her acting so carefree and without worry. Knowing I almost died at the hands of such an careless action produced by such an idiotic person… I promised within my heart that I wouldn’t let such a thing happen twice.

Unbeknownst of my self introspection, Narise continued, animatedly gesturing everywhere as she rapidly talked in succession. I had wanted to butt in on numerous occasions, but her chatterbox dialogue was too fast for me to interrupt.

“Boss, while I’m happy you made it back alive, and I really am... I can’t help but ask…” In what felt like forever, Narise finally took a brief pause, and took in a deep breathe. She acted as if she were taking a moment to recollect her thoughts, but in actuality, I could see her eyes darting back and forth, vigorously scanning the room, searching for whatever it was she wanted. After an all too short delay, she stopped and finally asked,

“Where is the egg?” Her words were filled with a hint of expectation, as her eyes widened brightly and almost shined beneath her thick spectacles. “Surely, knowing the Boss’s capabilities, stopping a manticore isn’t a difficult thing for you. I’m sure you were able to keep the egg safe and sound, right?”

“I…” I paused for a moment, as I stared back and met her eager gaze.

The vexation and frustration within my heart continued to grow deeper. Does she not realize that she had almost killed everybody with her reckless actions? I had my body beat and battered to near death, fought a second life-or-death battle immediately after my first, and barely scraped by through the skin of my teeth, and all she cares about was the egg? The same egg that had almost robbed me of my life and sent me to my maker?

“I only saw it briefly last time, but the egg was really big! I just know a good child will hatch from it.” She spoke excitedly.

She had almost no self awareness, and her one track mind was far too dangerous for it to be kept unchecked. If things progressed any further like this, then one way or another, someone will end up losing their life.

“Boss, where is it?”

Right now, the only thing I could do was decide who that someone was.

“Boss-”

And I certainly didn’t want it to be me, or anybody I cared about.

“The egg-”

“Stop.” I finally spoke up, interrupting her for the first time since she had started this one sided conversation. After taking a short breath, I asked with conviction,“What makes you think I’ll show you the egg?”

“...What?”

For the first time, Narise’s happy expression faltered. Her eyes were vague, as a confused expression blanketed her face. It was as if she couldn’t comprehend the words I had just spoken. Her lips rapidly trembled, opening and closing repeatedly. Broken, and incomprehensible words leaked out from her stuttering mouth, while at the same time, the color visibly drained from her face.

Her original vibrant and youthful shade of light pink, was quickly replaced by a terrible pallor of pale white.

“Do you not realize what you almost did back there?” I coldly questioned as my face quickly turned expressionless.

“I...I, what…what did I...”

“Because you carelessly acted without reason, because you didn’t listen when I had warned you, because of you, everyone almost died back then. A large part of the reason why we’re in this mess is solely because of you, and you don’t even have a single shred of self awareness to realize that.”

“....”

Narise had gone silent. Her usual talkative personality was nowhere to be seen, and her earlier eagerness had all but vanished. The only thing left remaining were her trembling lips, which continued to quiver like the strings of a strung guitar.

Meanwhile, the atmosphere in the room had drastically changed. It was as if the temperature had dropped by several degrees. From behind Narise, Kido’s friend was shaking from top to bottom. Her face was a pale color of terror, while her eyes swam in both confusion and terror.Going by her reaction, it looked as if she was the one being reprimanded and not Narise.

Meanwhile, Cielle continued to stand beside me, maintaining her expressionless facade. She acted indifferent towards my sudden outburst, and merely stared at the scene which took place in her own bedroom, with detached eyes.

I ignored the others and focused my gaze solely on Narise.

I did not want to kick Narise out of the group, and I wanted even less to kill her. After all, the lingering feeling of guilt would be a pain in the ass to deal with, and more importantly, Narise had her own uses. I had not yet given up complete hope over taming monsters, and I felt that Narise was an important key to this discovery. The only problem was her lack of self awareness. Her recklessness was a clear threat to everyone around her. I needed to do something, anything before a similar situation from before occurs again.

I sighed out a breathe of stale air, and continued, the pitch of my voice dropping lower and lower as I spoke, “To top it all of, you’re over here, wanting something you clearly don’t deserve… Much less give you a reward, it's already a miracle I haven’t already killed you.”

Narise’s head hung low, the locks of her hair, hanging down, covering her face like a gloomy curtain. I don’t know whether the thinly veiled threat I had just uttered got through to her, but her shaken continence was apparent for everyone in the room to see.

A long silence dragged on.

Despite the beam of light that glinted brightly off of the exposed windows, the room felt dark and dreary, as if it were covered in a layer of viscous mud and sweat. The illusion stifled my breath, and forced out a long sigh from deep within my lungs. I don’t know how long the silence lasted, but it felt as if an eternity had passed by.

Finally, a soft, almost silent whisper emerged from the quiet emptiness.

“... Pu-punish…” Narise spoke in a subdued stutter. Her face was still staring fixedly at the ground, making it impossible for me to make out her current expression. The Gila beneath her feet whined softly as it pawed at her leg.

“What was that?” I asked, leaning my back against the head of the bed.

As if prompted by my question, Narise suddenly looked back up. What caught me by surprise was that, rather than the scared, and listless expression she had donned on before, her face was as still as a wood carving. An eerie hollowness echoed from behind her placid gaze.

“It’s fine if I just get punished, right?” She asked, her voice had already reverted back to normal. The stuttering and trepidation from before was almost nonexistent.

“That’s-” Just, as I was about to unconsciously agree with her words, Narise interrupted.

“I mean, that’s what the Boss wants right? Since I did something bad, I need to be punished. I understand. Sometimes I do the same thing with Weiss, but that rarely happens, since I raised him to be a good boy.”

As she continued to talk, she pulled out a small hunting knife from one of the pockets of her track suit. The blade was dark grey and dull. It was chipped, and the metal was slightly faded. It was apparent that the knife hadn’t been used very often, and it was probably something she had found inside the apartment building while looking for supplies.

Without a single pause, she walked up to the only desk in Cielle’s room, and placed her right hand atop its surface. Her five fingers spread out wide, covering as much surface area as possible. The faded knife within her other hand glinted briefly from the sunlight, as it hovered over the desk.

“What are yo-”

Before I had the chance to question what she was doing, the knife in her hand suddenly rushed down, and stabbed itself deep into her pinky finger. The sickening sound of cut flesh, rang throughout the room. From in front of the doorway, a horrified scream erupted out from Kido’s friend, but that barely registered in my mind. My eyes were focused solely on Narise.

Even as the knife lodged itself deep into her finger, and even as blood continually oozed out, pooled onto Cielle’s desk, and dripped onto the carpeted floor beneath, Narise’s expression remained emotionless. She looked down at her own bloodied hand, and slowly narrowed her eyes.

The knife from before had not completely cut through her finger. It sliced through a good portion of it, but it failed to break through the layer of tendon and bone that connected the finger to the rest of the hand. She let out an almost inaudible sigh, as she pulled the knife out from her pinky. The newly crafted wound resisted, causing blood to splatter everywhere and for the sound of tearing flesh to once again echo throughout the room.

After a few seconds of struggling, the knife finally popped out, a disgustingly bone shivering sound accompanying it. The room had long grown silent, the earlier screaming from before had faded, and everyone’s eyes were locked onto Narise’s every action. The Gila by her feet was quietly lapping up the spilled blood that had pooled on the carpet, but Narise ignored it. Her gaze was fixated onto her bloody finger.

After a moment, she placed the tip of the knife at the entrance of her new wound, which was directly on the base of the pinky. She paused for a brief second, before without warning, she vigorously pushed the knife in. The sound of metal grinding against bone resonated throughout the room. Narise struggled desperately, as blood continually oozed out, painting her forearm and knife with a crimson mist.

After an uncountable amount of time passed, the sound of the metal striking wood interrupted the ceaseless flow of tearing flesh and crunching bone.

A placid smile emerged out from Narise’s pale face, as she turned back around and faced me. She wordlessly lifted her bloodied hand up in front of her, and gestured with her head. Back on the desk, the newly severed pinky was barely visible under the taint of red that overflowed from the surface of the desk.

As Narise’s eyes stared fixedly at me, for a moment, I could not respond. My eyes were wide, while my mouth was agape, and wordless. I was honestly caught off guard by her sudden, and decisive actions.

Narise blinked, and shifted her gaze from me over to her bloody hand. For a moment, she just stared, a look of confusion etched onto her face. Finally, after a brief moment of introspection, she turned back around, casually pushed aside her severed pinky, and placed her hand back onto the table. The now crimson knife, was already poised into the air.

I could hear her sigh briefly, as she tilted the blade downward, and casually said, “I guess this wasn’t enough… Boss sure is demanding.”

She let out a loose breathe of air, and without so much as flinching, she once again slashed out at her own hand, this time her aim was directed at the base of her ring finger. Once again the sound of tearing flesh filled the room, and after tens of seconds of continuous work, a newly severed finger appeared on the even bloodier desk.

Each and everyone of her actions, were filled without a single trace of hesitation. She was deliberate, and to the point.

Narise once again, turned back around and stared at me. Once again, she lifted herself inflicted and injured hand for me to see. After staring at my shocked expression for several seconds, she wordlessly turned back to the desk and prepared to chop off another finger.

She raised the blade high, and just as she was about to slice downward, a hand interrupted her mid swing. Cielle held her knife wielding arm by the wrist, barely stopping it before it could cut through another one of her fingers.

Luckily, Narise was low leveled, so even though Cielle had a magic build, and hardly invested in any strength, she was still stronger than an average male, and managed to stop her in the knick of time.

“Huh? Little Boss?” Narise had on a blank expression as she turned to face Cielle. Her eyes were furrowed in confusion.

After a short pause, Cielle spoke in her usual quiet whisper. “... You’re making a mess.”

“Ah? But Boss isn’t satisfied yet. If I don’t have enough punishment, he’ll-”

“Stop.” I interrupted. I was still caught off guard by earlier’s unflinching display, but I managed to regain enough wit to respond back. “That’s… That’s enough. Cielle, close up her wounds.”

Judging by how much blood was spilled, it wouldn’t be a surprise if she passed out from blood loss. Even now, although her countenance was back to normal, she was a shade paler than before.

As Cielle’s [Blue Gemini] quickly covered up Narise’s injured hand, Narise ignored it, and looked towards me with an expression of happiness. In her excitement, she could not help but jump up and down, as she spoke, “Then Boss, this means you're satisfied right? Since you told me to stop, it definitely means you're satisfied, right?”

Her grin was almost brighter than the sun. “Then since you're satisfied, that means I can see the egg now, right? You’ll show me the egg because I did the punishment, right?”

My eyes slightly narrowed in the face of Narise’s jubilant excitement. This person… she had cut off two of her fingers without so much as flinching, and was even prepared to take out a third, all to see an egg…

I hesitated for a moment, before I ultimately gave in. “It’s in the other room, inside my backpack.”

Hearing this, Narise whooped in excitement as she turned around and lightly trotted to the door. Bloody footsteps stained the carpet where ever she walked past, but she was ignorant of it all as she continued on her way, an expression of naive innocence clouding her face.

Just as she reached the door and was about to leave, she suddenly paused for a moment. She turned back around to the desk, and stared. After a few seconds passed, she abruptly walked back and grabbed her two severed fingers.

As I was wondering what she was about to do, Narise suddenly knelt down, and offered up her newly severed fingers to the toddler sized Gila in front of her.

The Gila, who had been busily lapping up the spilled blood like a dehydrated dog, finally looked up and stared at its master. Its white scaled face was covered in crimson mist, but Narise was oblivious to all this, as she once again moved her open palm closer towards the Gila.

“Here Weiss, eat up.” She spoke in an ordering tone, a gentle smile on her face.

The Gila happily accepted, and flicked its tongue towards Narise’ palm like a frog. In less than a fraction of a second, those two fingers suddenly disappeared, and the sound of crunching bone and tearing flesh filled the room. Upon seeing this, Narise giggled with joy, and petted the crown on the Gila’s head. The blood from her hands stained the Gila’s forehead, but Narise seemingly didn’t notice.

Seeing this scene before me, an uncontrolled shiver ran down my spine. Even Cielle, who was usually stoic faced and detached, could not help but take a step back, as she stared at the scene with a scrunched up brow.

“Good boy, Weiss, good boy. You’re growing up quite nice-” Just as she was cooing and fawning over the Gila, her words abruptly paused, while her eyes widened in temporary surprise. After a few seconds of silence, her smile grew wider, as she sighed out in satisfaction, and spoke absentmindedly to herself, “It looks like I got something good~.”

Seeing her reaction, realization quickly dawned on me, as my eyes narrowed and my brow furrowed.

Just as I was about to open my mouth to say something, Narise quickly stood back up. She patted her legs, as if to dust them off, when in actuality, she only stained them with more blood, before she walked towards the door.

“Come on Weiss, let’s go look at the egg.” She called out just as the Gila was about to start lapping at the pool of blood again. Weiss looked up at its master, before obediently following her out of the bedroom and into the living room.

Once Narise left, an odd and gloomy silence filled the air around us.

There were now only three people in the room; Cielle, Kido’s friend, and me. The pale faced highschooler who looked like she belonged in 6th grade, had been silent for a long time. Her expression was rigid, frozen in a mixture of horror and shock. Her feet were stiff and unmoving. It took me a while to notice, but her lower thighs and legs were wet. Beneath her feet, the carpet was completely soaked in yellow liquid.

The silence persisted for a long time, before Cielle suddenly spoke. She turned towards Kido’s friend, and directed a question her way. “...What did you find today?”

For a second, the girl had a blank expression, before she immediately realized that Cielle had asked her a question. After slightly panicking, she managed to stutter out a response. “J-Just a f-few cans, and bottled w-water. T-there wasn’t a lot.”

Cielle nodded briskly to her response, her expression hidden behind the curtain of hair over her face.

“T-then, if you don’t need me, I’ll j-just…” Seeing an opportunity, Kido’s friend prepared to make a hasty escape. As she grabbed the bags beneath her feet, and took a step towards the exit, she heard the soft sound of wet carpet. She stared down at her feet, a look of confusion covering her face. She timidly applied pressure to the floor once again, and upon hearing the same sound come out, she let out a gasp of surprise. Her face instantly flushed red, as she stared back and forth between the floor and Cielle.

After a few seconds of deliberation, she made a helpless expression, as she ran out the exit, and closed the door shut behind her.

I ignored most of the fuss that she had created, and the moment she left the bedroom, I immediately turned towards Cielle, and asked about Narise. “What’s Narise like? Is she acting weird or suspicious?”

Cielle paused and thought for a moment.

“Narise is… normal. She doesn’t socialize much, but lately she’s been talking more frequently,” Cielle took another pause, and deliberated over her next few words, before continuing, “I think, just about as much as me… She talks as much as me… Ah, but if the topic is about monsters, she’ll talk for a long time… Right now, she’s staying in an apartment a couple of doors down with her pet.”

I sat quietly, and stared down at my lap, thinking through Cielle’s words. Eventually, I asked another question. “Then, do you think she’s dangerous? Should I...” My words trailed off, but the implications beneath remained clear for Cielle to understand.

Cielle once again paused. She tilted her head down and thought. After a much longer time passed, she finally responded, “No. I do think she’s a little dangerous, but… you shouldn’t make a move… She’s like a child, single mindedly obsessing over something to the point where she ignores everything else.

“In a way, she’s a lot like Hide.”

“Huh?” A confused expression covered my face, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Cielle’s lips narrowed into a thin smile. “Aren’t you like that whenever you’re making weapons?”

“Ah? Really?”

Cielle refused to answer any further, but maintained the smile on her face. “For now, I’ll watch over her.” She stated, as she began collecting the emptied food tray. Although Cielle’s smile remained on her face, her voice had dropped to an even lower pitch.“Meanwhile, Hide needs to find a way to control her.”

“Mmm.” I nodded seriously. I recalled the look on her face from a while ago. She definetely gained a new skill, or title. Finding out what that skill or title was, and finding a way to control it were both important steps that could either increase our chances of survival, or spell out our coming doom. Rather than throwing a sword away in fear of cutting yourself, it was better to learn how to weild it.

Cielle stayed briefly and told me to rest until the others came back, before she exited the bedroom, lightly jumping over the puddle that had collected in front of the doorway.

Once again, I was left all alone, with nothing but the thoughts that wandered through my mind to accompany me. The only difference this time was the stench of blood and piss that filled the room around me.